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How To Use Flirting To Create Sexual Tension

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Flirting is the most powerful way to engage someone – but what if you want to take it one step further? Here’s how to use flirting to make things sexy.

Use Reverse Psychology

One of the most powerful ways you can attract women is by playfully rejecting them. What’s your instant reaction when someone tries to sell you something on the phone? You reject them. Dating is similar.

If you really want the woman to “make the move” and be naturally drawn towards you, then psychologically push her away.

Turning down a woman is the icing on the cake, the finishing touch to your flirting, that locks in her decision to be with you. While this form of flirting can be done early on, you need a decent amount of flirting and teasing before these techniques become effective.

FACT: People don’t reject ideas that they perceive to be their own.

The keyword here is “perceive.” Curiosity makes women think, and the more that they think about you, the more they believe they must want you.

The best way to come up with your own rejection comments is to “put yourself in her shoes” and think like she does.

For example, you might say:

“No funny business! I don’t even know you yet”

“No hanky panky.”

If she wasn’t thinking about sex with you, she will be after this statement. That’s not to say she’ll actually want to have sex with you, but all you want to do at this point is get the idea in her head.

When To Use Sexy Flirting

At Your House

These are great lines to say when you walk in the door together from a date, or after she arrives for a date at your place. Think about it. How many guys do you think she’s heard even say this? This would baffle most women straight away. It tells her that you have standards, and aren’t just looking for sex. It also tells her that you aren’t that easily impressed.

When She Gets Touchy With You 

When a woman touches your arm, leg, or any part of your body, you can say these lines and they work great. This makes the woman look like she’s being sexually aggressive.

After You’ve Piqued Her Curiosity

This is after you’ve asked a question that she wants the answer to. Slowly move away and as she tries to grab you and keep you still.

Once this has happened, a window of opportunity has opened up for you. Now continue to tease the woman about her sexually aggressive behavior.

You might say something like:

“You just want me for my body.”

“I’m not just some piece of meat you can have your way with.”

“I have feelings too you know.”

“Geez, women only want one thing.”

“I need to be careful around you.”

“I’m watching you.”

“When will women ever learn.”

“I’d prefer it if we just TALKED.”

“I may just have to get a restraining order on you.”

“For all I know, you could be a stalker!”

7 Things You Have Been Doing Wrong During Anal Sex All This Time

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Anal sex is something many couples try, but are they really getting it right? Maybe not. Are you making these seven anal sex mistakes?

For generations, anal sex has been considered a no-go by women out there. But although this “national epidemic” is widely reported, the reason that the situation is such escapes most men.

The fact is that women, as much as men, are telling researchers more and more often that they would like to experience anal sex. So what’s the deal, where does this contradiction come from? The answer is simple: in the vast majority of cases, it’s the men that the women are complaining about; men don’t know how to do it properly, so that their respective wives and girlfriends really experience the pleasure.

The secret is to persistently commit to fix the problem. If they don’t, the doors to the women’s derrieres will irreversibly slam shut in front of them.

1. You Don’t Think You Need To Learn Anything

When it comes to anal sex, you don’t just rely on your instincts, on what nature taught you unknowingly. You need to come prepared, with your lessons learned, if you want it to be an awesome experience for both of you, the first time and many times that will follow. Anal is not just sticking your penis inside her bootie and shaking it all around. You should be aware of her anatomy, how her body works, what you can do to stimulate her at the right time, etc. If you don’t enter the situation sufficiently informed, you are not going to rock her world, but convince her that “no” was the right answer after all.

2. Your Manual Is Porn

Another thing that confuses you and stops you from performing at your full potential is the misinterpretation given by the porn industry. Anal sex is not as easy to master and straightforward as you see it in your XXX collection. Those movies never show you that you need a lot of time to warm her up properly, the guy never uses lube and he’s hard hitting right from the start, while the girl screams with pleasure.

Professional porn stars are either stretched out or they are using a numbing cream or gel to dull the pain. Another possibility: they start filming after having injected tons of lube inside her bootie and after she’s been aroused to some extent, so that the act seems real and doable. Don’t believe those that are trying to convince you that it’s not a big deal, because, in fact, it is.

3. You Don’t Talk To Her Beforehand

Women are scared. Yes. They get cold sweats and shivers when they think about it and the only thing that would mend this is just a few words of encouragement from your part. Not the “you’ll see, you’ll like it” whispered by surprise, when you’re in bed, not that one. That doesn’t count as the talk. Approach the subject in a non-sexual environment, and make sure you give her all the support, promise of protection and patience she needs.

Take your time and assure her that it will be ok, it will feel good and it won’t hurt. Talk it over. Find out exactly what makes her hesitant to try it and then see what you can do to belie her fears. Communication is a big deal for women; you ought to know that by now.

4. You Don’t Stimulate Her Enough

It is important that she is very turned on before you even go near her derriere. When she’s really heated up, her body is much more open to you than if she is only mildly turned on. She needs to be aching for you to touch her there. Otherwise, instead of giving you the moans and groans and “keep doing it” look, she’ll just respond with a tense grimace. Rub her body all over with lube, get her relaxed with kisses and caresses, maybe a good dose of cunnilingus.

It’s also important to create a non-intimidating, sexy atmosphere. Lower the lights, put some good music, massage her, everything you know she needs in order to loosen up both physically and mentally. Anal sex is not suited for a quickie. Anticipation is one of the greatest sexual tools you have — use it to your advantage.

5. Once You’re There, You Lose Your Focus

Once the hardest part is over and you find yourself inside her, you need to continue to be highly aware of every move you make, since being too rough can cause her considerable pain. You cannot thrust into her anus as hard as you would into her vagina. Take it easy and pay attention to how it is making her feel.

If she tells you to stop, then stop. If she tells you to get out, then get out. If you get selfish and focus on your pleasure over her potential pain, this will probably be the last time you’ll have anal sex with her.

6. You Don’t Let Her Set The Pace

A big part of the fear that women feel when it comes to anal sex is that they are helpless in this game of power play. If you want her to agree to it and also love the experience, let the action happen on her own grounds. Let her hold your penis and guide it slowly inside of her anus. Even if it takes her half an hour to insert an inch, let her do it. If you surprise her with a sudden movement, the thought of having lost the control will make her even more scared. Just talk to her while she’s doing the job, seduce her mind and she’ll really let loose.

7. You Neglect Her Other Lady Parts

The sensation of touching the anus or rectum alone may feel uncomfortable for your girl, but couple it with penetration or oral sex, and suddenly it’ll feel much better. If you keep her mind busy with an awesome clitoral orgasm, she won’t mind the back action that much. For example, while you’re fingering her anus, kiss her really deep on the mouth, so that she feels you’re still connected.

Is Your Relationship Ready For Marriage?

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Marriage is a huge step, and it’s definitely not something to rush into. How can you tell if the relationship you are in is marriage material?

“Going to Fiji is not marriage, going to Costco is marriage” – Kelly Ripa.

You know you’re ready to marry someone if you are willing to endure the Hell on Earth that is shopping at Costco with that person. Seeing your significant other at Costco means seeing them at their worst: they will be angry, cranky, hungry, sleepy, annoyed, childish, and pissed off. They will try and convince you that you “need” to by industrial size quantities of some food that they know you hate (which they of course love), and you will be subjected to the sight of humanity at its fear based worst.

If you can make it out of there alive (without spending yourself stupid or killing each other), then you should probably get married. If you can go there and be so in love that you forget you’re in Hell (and by Hell I mean Costco) and not be bothered by this, then by all means run like hell to the altar.

Do You Like Them With Their Clothes On?

Sure, everyone’s tons of fun when they’re naked and doing naughty things you. And lots of sex happens when you are dating, often because you two have different homes and can get the hell away from the other. A relationship is one thing, marriage is different, because you’re always there with each other. Generally speaking, your spouse should be as much fun with their clothes on as they are with them off.

How Lucky Do You Feel?

When you’re around this person do you feel like you hit the lottery? Do they make you giddy like a school girl? Get lots of goosebumps? Then marriage is definitely in order. If you don’t, you may not want to walk down the aisle. Romance ebbs and flows but if you’re not feeling super lucky to be with them, then it’s a red flag.

How Easy Is It?

They say relationships are hard work. That’s not true. BAD relationships are work. Good relationships aren’t. If your relationship is easy like Sunday morning, then it’s time to start thinking about walking down the aisle. People love to say relationships take work. They don’t. Relationships are like a car. The vast majority of people reading this don’t know anything about brakes, shocks, struts and all the other car parts you can’t pronounce. Does that stop you from owning and operating a car? No. You don’t need to do work on your car. You just need to do maintenance.

All you really need to do is get it washed regularly, get the oil changed, and get tires every so often. That’s not doing work on your car. You put gas in the tank and turn the key. It goes or it doesn’t. If you don’t do maintenance, you’re an idiot, but you’re going under the hood either. The best marriages in my estimation are the easiest. The more work you’re doing the more problems you have by default. Sure there will be ups and downs, but too much time under the hood usually means it’s time to trade in for a different make and model.

Are You On The Same Page?

Opposites attract, but they don’t marry. If you are super frugal and your partner spends like a drunken sailor, do you really expect it to work long term? Movies always love to talk about the uptight, type A girl and the slacker/hippie type who steals her heart. That works in movies, but in real live they hook up or date but they don’t marry. Or if they do, they’re miserable. Why? Because she is who she is and he is who he is.

The more alike you are, the more you’re going to stay together, because common ground is required to build the foundation upon which the house that is your marriage is built on. The house is built on the foundation and the foundation is designed to fit the house exactly. They don’t say “well, it kind of fits, but we’ll work around it.” No construction foreman has ever looked at a foundation and said “well, I know that’s how it is now, but I’m sure it’ll change down the road.”

You’re two different people with different experiences and view points, so disagreements are inevitable, but you should be arguing because you both want to do the same thing, you just differ on how to do it. If you have the opposite problem, maybe you should just keep dating.

10 Sex Toys That Will Scare The Hell Out Of Her

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Sex toys can be a touchy subject with many women, especially women who are not comfortable with their sexuality. Some women still feel like sex should be “enjoyed” in the missionary position with the lights off, and an orgasm is something only “dirty girls” have.

This neanderthal thinking can really hamper your sex life, but if your girl is shy about playing with sex toys, don’t criticize her for it. You know that sex toys could definitely spice up your sex life and increase her orgasm potential, but you don’t want to push the issue. If you’re thinking about introducing some new equipment into the bedroom, be careful of what you choose – here are ten sex toys to steer completely clear of because they’ll freak her out totally and she’ll take a long time to recover.

1. A Giant Dildo

Anything that looks like a realistic penis should be avoided. If she’s shy or reserved at all, this is going to freak her out bigtime, especially if you’ve chosen a large dildo. You may very will like the idea of seeing her take a huge schlong while you watch, but the idea of you watching her play with another penis (even though it’s a fake one) will really turn her off. Steer clear of these rubber monstrosities.

Alternative: An artistic looking glass dildo, nicely gift wrapped.

2. A Triple Rabbit Vibrator

A Rabbit vibrator is a gamble, because they tend to be large and have far too many buttons and functions for an inexperienced woman to feel comfortable trying at first. However, many women report loving Rabbit vibrators, so you may want to take this chance.

Triple Rabbit vibrators are a big no though – they have an anal extension (in addition to the clitoral vibrator that sits on top of the larger, insertable portion), making them look like some weird alien probing device. To stay safe, avoid Rabbits entirely, but definitely don’t get the triple freak-a-zoid vibrator.

Alternative: A high quality luxury vibrator like a Jimmy Jane or LELO product.

3. Freaky Bondage Equipment

Do not, repeat do not, introduce freaky bondage stuff to your sexual relationship if you haven’t already been experimenting with that kind of stuff or you know she’s into that kind of thing but you guys haven’t gone there yet. The sight of tight leather, ropes and God forbid chains, is enough to send a demure girl and possibly even those who are more experienced and open minded running the other way. Stay away from anything you wouldn’t find in a novelty store in the mall.

Alternative: Feather ticklers. A fuzzy paddle or fuzzy handcuffs. A blindfold. You know, that kind of stuff.

4. A Large Butt Plug (Or Any Butt Plug)

Don’t introduce a butt plug to your girl if she’s never tried anal anything before – for Pete’s sake, if you’re going to experiment with anal, use some lube and your fingers first! Anal toys, even the small ones, are just plain scary to some women because they say, “I’m just the beginning. I have brother and sister toys that are much larger and much more rubbery than I.” If you’ve talked to your girl about trying a butt plug or anal toy of any kind, get her a teeny, tiny one.

One that she can barely feel in there. Save the big stuff for…never. Always make sure you buy a bottle of lube when you buy an anal toy (you seriously cannot have enough lube for anal) and make sure any toy you purchase has a ring or a flared base on the end that prevents it from getting lost in there…because yes, that can happen.

Alternative: A really nice, high quality bottle of lube. By itself. With no anal toy.

5. Medical Equipment Of Any Kind

Steer clear of medical equipment. Period. Gloves and speculums are something almost every woman absolutely dreads, because they’re used to having an impartial doctor “play” with those toys once a year – and it’s never comfortable or fun when they do it. It makes a woman feel vulnerable and exposed, and she will probably never, ever associate those items with positive sexual feelings. If you bring them home, she will leave. And never come back.

Alternative: No medical equipment. How ‘bout that?

6. A Tongue Extension Vibrator

While this isn’t “scary” persay (although it may gross some women out because it just looks weird), it sends your girl a very clear message – you either aren’t skilled enough with your own tongue to give her an orgasm, or you’re too lazy to do it. Neither are good things to convey to your lover.

Alternative: Learn how to please her during oral sex with your tongue. It feels much better anyways.

7. A Pussy Pump

So you’ve read that a pussy pump can pump more blood into your lover’s clitoris, making it larger and more sensitive. Sounds great, right? Have you ever seen it in action? Maybe, and maybe that’s why it turns you on. Forget about that – how do you think seeing a pussy pump in action would make your girl feel? Remember, she doesn’t think that “bigger is better” like guys do.

Because if you give her one, she’s bound to look it up. And even if the majority of what is on the Internet is some sort of weird fetish stuff that you don’t plan on doing at all, the minute she sees a girl’s clitoris and can’t tell whether it’s a girl that has used a pussy pump or a hermaphrodite, she’s going to run the other way.

Alternative: A high quality clitoral vibrator. Get something classy, with lots of functions. When you use it on her clitoris, she’ll be more sensitive than she would be with any pussy pump.

8. A Masturbation Sleeve

This is a sex toy for you. Not her. This is like the guy who gets a fishing pole for his wife for her birthday. Bad idea! Don’t get a masturbation sleeve claiming she can use it on you to make giving handjobs easier on her or that it will spice up your sex life. It will spice up your solo time, which you will be having lots of if you get this as a “gift” for your girl. If you want one, fine. Just get something else for her too.

Alternative: You can’t go wrong with a luxury clitoral vibrator. You really can’t.

9. A Giant Econo-Size Bottle Of Lube

Lube in and of itself isn’t something that is going to freak your girl out, but don’t be tempted to buy the econo sized tub of it in order to save money. This is a bad idea anyways unless you’re absolutely sure it’s a brand that you’ve tried before and you love – if it’s not, you might end up with a huge bottle of lube you hate! It’s also a bad idea because your lover is going to think one of two things – you either masturbate a lot or you plan on doing lots of very weird stuff with her. Neither of those is going to go over well with her, so opt for the normal size bottle of lube.

Alternative: A sampler pack of lubes. She’ll actually have fun trying them out with you and deciding which ones she likes the best.

10. Ben Wa Balls

She might not know what these are – in which case you’ll have to explain them to her. This is bad. How are you going to explain to your partner that you bought her Ben Wa Balls to tighten her vaginal muscles without implying that her vagina is loose? And if she does know what they are and what they do? This is bad. She’ll assume you’re implying that her vagina is loose. You can’t win here. Don’t bother.

Alternative: A luxury clitoral vibrator. Yes, that again.

Visit Shop Dan & Jennifer and use code DANJENN on checkout to get 50% off of almost any single item, plus FREE shipping on your entire order! 

6 Super Naughty Fingering Tips

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Fingering isn’t played out – at least these hotter than fire tips aren’t! Here’s how to engage in fingering with your girl and give her a WET orgasm!

1. Stirring The Pot

Another great all-round stimulator, this little trick allows you to stimulate the circumference of the vaginal wall at just about any depth, and is another type of sensation she may have never before experienced.

With one or two fingers inserted, slowly begin to make clockwise circles around the entire vaginal canal – bottom, left side, top, right side. You can change which direction your finger pads point to mix things up, or switch directions. Try to keep it up while thrusting!

2. Twist & Shout

A very special move using two to three fingers, this one allows you to stimulate her G or A-Spot, her clitoris, her urethra, her inner and outer labia; her entire vulva, in fact. A favorite in our house, this one has just the kind of sensations that are guaranteed to bring me over the edge after some stimulating massage and stretching.

Using your index and possibly your middle finger, penetrate and find the G-Spot, (or A-Spot, depending on how deep it is and how long your fingers are) thereby creating a “C” shape out of your hand, so that your thumb curls around to cover her clitoris. The sensitive inner webbing of your hand will cover her inner labia, and can stimulate her U-Spot here as well.

Once in position, slowly begin to twist your wrist from side to side, keeping your arm stationary. Not only will this rock back and forth inside her, causing her to lubricate and possibly squirt, but the changing pressure on her clit at just the right rhythm is certain to be a show-stopping favorite.

3. Upping The Ante

If you’re feeling extra frisky, you can add a second digit to any of the moves described above, either massaging her perineum and anus or fingering her clitoris. If you can figure out using multiple fingers and your tongue at the same time, you’re golden!

4. Three, Four And More

As she turns on, her vagina will begin to stretch and expand, preparing to accommodate something a bit bigger than a finger or two. As this happens, your wife will probably be interested in more stimulation, which is where these more complex moves come in. If you are still learning to read your wife’s reactions, take your time here to work up to them. She needs to be communicative; not just to ensure her pleasure here, but to avoid any unwanted pain.

5. The Three-Way

You can modify the Twist & Shout position above, with two fingers inserted to hit her G-Spot and A-Spot at the same time, along with her clitoris and possibly her urethra. Doesn’t that sound like the kind of party you want to get in on? As she turns on, her vagina will begin to stretch and expand, preparing to accommodate something a bit bigger than a finger or two.

As this happens, your wife will probably be interested in more stimulation. With your two fingers inserted deeply, trace your middle finger toward you, along the front wall of the vagina, until you find the A-Spot. Keep the finger in place as you crook your index finger closer yet, finding the G-Spot just inside the vaginal opening. Now that you have both spots in hand, you can reach your thumb for her clit.

In this position, you can both twist at the wrist as I mentioned earlier, and thrust very gently with your inserted fingers in the come-hither motion to stimulate all her special spots!

6. The Pubic Press

This movement actually puts a bit of pressure on her uterus and ovaries, giving you an opportunity to stimulate these internal reproductive organs from inside her vagina. Some women may find this a bit uncomfortable, if they aren’t used to it, so go slowly and gently and get lots of feedback. With your fingers inside her, let the heel of your other hand find her pubic bone.

Just above her mons and below her abdomen, you can press down to gently move her internal reproductive system closer to the vaginal canal, and the clitoral tissue that surrounds it. Thrusting in this position can be incredibly pleasurable.