Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for loveandsex

How To Get Her To Love Sex Toys

By

Sex toys are an excellent way to help women achieve orgasm during sex or by themselves. If you would like for your girlfriend or wife to LOVE using sex toys, there are a few things that you should know. Not all girls are going to be as thrilled about using a butt plug or a vibrator during sex.

Some of them will outright refuse it. However, the vast majority of women are going to embrace the sentiment of expanding their sexual horizon with you and engage in some kinky fun with sex toys if you present it to them properly.

Talk To Her About It

Before you rush off to an adult superstore or jump on your favorite website, talk to your girlfriend or wife about incorporating sex toys into the relationship. There are a lot of girls that would rather change positions or techniques rather than stick some plastic vibrating apparatus into their vagina.

If your girlfriend or wife is hesitant about trying a sex toy, tell that they don’t have to be dirty to have a sex toy. Most girls that are hesitant about using sex toys are embarrassed about their sexuality. Ask them why they do not want to use sex toys and about how sex toys can help them enjoy sex more.

Know Her Limits

You can’t just use any old sex toy on your girl. Make sure that you know her limits and what she is up for. While a girl might be game to use a small vibrator, that doesn’t give you recourse for buying a giant double-dong. Ask the girl what kind of sex toys she has always wanted to try.

Bringing her into the mix is going to increase the chances of a good experience. Chances are that she has always had a fantasy of something. This could be the perfect opportunity for you to learn more about her and what turns her on.

Shop Together

There are sex toys that come all shapes and sizes. Your girlfriend or wife is going to know her body much better than you do. Sure you spend a lot of time down there, but that doesn’t mean that you know big of a vibrator she needs. Remember that you’re not the one that the sex toys are going to be used on.

When you go to the adult store or shop online, do it together. She might have her eye on a g-spot massager where you are going for the clitoral stimulator. Girl’s know their body much more than you do so let her take the lead or at least give you an idea of what she wants before you ever spend any money.

Get Lube

Don’t rely on the girl to get wet just because she is trying something new. Yes, sex toys can exciting and she might not need it, but going to a sex store or even shopping online gives you the opportunity to stock up on a much needed item. Lube can be used for just about everything from sex to a massage. If you see a bottle of lube at the store, pick it up just to be safe. The toy might be a little bigger than she anticipated and that extra bit of lube can make a huge difference in her experience.

Don’t Rely On The Toy

One of the biggest mistakes that you can make is to let up once you have a sex toy. The toy is there to enhance what is already happening, not to replace it. Remember to use a lot of foreplay when you are with your girlfriend or wife. Don’t rely on a vibrator taking her to the edge. You should already know what is going to push her buttons and get her turned on before the sex toy ever comes out.

Let Her Take Control Of The Toy

Yes, you have a new toy and you want to play with it. Slow down though. Just because you want to play with it doesn’t mean that you’re going to know how she likes it. Let her be in charge of the sex toy. If she was a little hesitant to even bring the toy into the bedroom, the last thing that you want to do is have her feel uncomfortable with you poking and prodding at her. Let her do what feels good. Let her give herself an orgasm or two with it. When she’s ready, she will give you the go ahead to start using it on her.

Weird Flirting Games That WILL Get Her Attention!

By

Flirting doesn’t have to be cliche – strange and off the wall flirting techniques are almost always more successful! A great way to trigger a flirtatious interaction is to engage women in a fun game. Games are great because you don’t need any specific situation to get the ball rolling.

Simply be creative and go with it. While this trigger can be used anywhere, it tends to get the best results in clubs and bars where women are already in a “pick up” environment. For example I wouldn’t use this technique on a woman you’ve just met at the supermarket.

“Who Would You ‘Do?'”

Step 1: Pick two guys that have very average looks (guys that a woman would never choose based only on physical looks), or find men who have really low self-esteem and poor body language.

Step 2: Tell the woman you’re playing a game and point out the two men.

Step 3: Say, “If you had to choose, which of those two guys would you have sex with?”

NOTE: A common response is “Can I say none?” Of course you say no, and ask again which would be her choice if she had to choose. It’s just the rules of the game.

Most men don’t understand why you would try and play match-maker with a woman you’re interested in and another man, because they don’t realize two very important things.

  1. You are proving you really don’t need her, projecting your independence as a masculine man.
  2. You’re having fun. All people want to have fun so make sure the woman associates fun with you. Tease, flirt and accuse all you want. You can do what you want, you’re a masculine man remember?

Predict Her Future

Ask for her hand and tell her something silly about her future. Say, “Do you want to know your future?” If she agrees, grab her hand and in a disappointing voice tell her that she’ll be one of those construction workers that hold a “stop/slow” sign 8 hours a day for the rest of her life.”

Alternatively, you can ask for her hand and then say, “Oh… no!” and give her hand back. After her curiosity has been stirred up, say things like, “I don’t think I can be seen with you anymore” then reveal her future if you want.

Pickup Lines Game

Step 1: Tell her how pathetic pick up lines are.

Women always agree with this statement and you quickly build trust.

Step 2: Start an exciting conversation about lame guys that have approached her.

From here you can ask the woman the worst pickup lines that have been used on her or her friends. This will transition into many funny, flirty and emotional conversations.

  • Talk about guys that have said funny lines
  • Strange stories that she can remember
  • Weird and pathetic guys that have approached her
  • Funny things guys have said

Is Porn Actually Bad For You?

By

Porn can be a way to get any guy through dry spell or to spice up the love life between a couple. However, the most common questions is whether or not adult movies are actually bad for you. While it does allow people to indulge in their fantasies, there can be several repercussions to bring pornography into any relationship. If you are a single guy, it can also have detrimental effects to the expectations of future lovers. Here are a few ways that adult films can actually be bad for you.

It Raises Your Expectations A Little Too High

Porn is the equivalency of fantasy. When you start watching it, it is very easy to fall into the trap of living out your sexual fantasies through the characters in the movie. Lusting after porn stars that are willing to do anything can easily be detrimental to relationship that you have been in for a while or a relationship that might just be starting out. When your partner sees women that have an insatiable appetite for sex, it can put a lot of pressure into the relationship.

Guys who are single can also expect new lovers to try different positions or activities based on the adult movies they have watched. This expectation for a lover to live up to the porn stars in the movies can also create tension that would not have been there otherwise. The reality is that most women do not have the libido that men have. Not all women are shaped to the way that they are in pornography.

When men watch too much porn, they can easily push women into doing things that they do not feel comfortable with. They can also start to believe that certain sex acts are universally loved by all women.

It Desensitizes You To Sex

Porn can easily desensitize you to actual sex, leaving you with an unsatisfying feeling when you have real sex. Sex is not about getting off as hard or as fast as you can. Sex should be about the love between two consenting adults. The problem with pornography is that it will subconsciously leave you with a feeling of wanting more. This can easily turn into a vicious cycle to lowers the amount of pleasure that you feel when you are not only watching porn, having sex in real life.

If you have been watching it for a long time, you will start to see just how desensitized you have become. A video that got you really turned on two years ago may not do it for you now. Before there were things like the Internet, guys had to rely on things such as magazines or old-school pinup pictures of women. Now that the Internet is a full-fledged information machine and you can basically watch any kind of movie you want after just a few clicks, the desensitization can easily get out of control.

Porn Objectifies Women

Probably the worst thing about the adult industry is that it caters to men by objectifying women. Although there are videos that show women in control, they are not in control because of their mind or because of their physical abilities. They use their sexuality to get what they want. Pornography turns women into things that are pretty much there to satisfy the man’s sexual urge. Women should be loved because of who they are and not because of what they can provide a man sexually.

It’s Easy To Become Addicted To It

Because of all of these reasons, porn can easily become addicting. Anything that offers instant gratification can become addicting, however, pornography is becoming more and more accessible. With the invention of mobile internet, a lot of porno websites are starting to launch mobile versions of their site. While this can be great for mobile commerce, this can lead to temptation for men finding it hard to resist their addictions.

Porn is a different beast than alcohol or drugs. Porn is not illegal if you are of age. It is not even bad for the body in a physical sense, so it’s hard to regulate this for the normal male. Watching too much porn can lead to porn addiction when masturbating.

Porn, like alcohol or sweets, can be fun and harmless in small doses. However, if you start to go overboard, you might find it difficult to form a healthy relationship with a woman who is not as kinky as you. Talk with your partner or any potential partners about their views on the subject before you expose them to the kind of porn that you like.

How To Talk To Her About Sex

By

Sex can be a difficult subject to broach when you’re dating someone. Here’s how you can discuss sex with your lover without scaring her off!

Get Comfortable With It

For a lot of people, even in this day and age, with a media saturated in sexual imagery, sex can be incredibly uncomfortable to discuss. Even with our most intimate partners. Especially when unsatisfied, your wife may not be articulating what she wants or needs sexually, as she’s afraid of hurting your feelings.

Before you start the conversation, you need to get comfortable saying the words associated with sex – penis, vagina, clitoris, G-Spot, orgasm, lubrication and intercourse. Say them out loud, somewhere private, and just get comfortable with the sound of them in your mouth. When you can say them to yourself without blushing, you are ready to say them to the person you love.

Take The Initiative

In order to open her up, you need to take the first step. If she feels like you are grilling her with some kind of sexual interview, she may retreat. Instead, you need to spend some time – days, maybe even weeks – communicating to her how important her sexual satisfaction and overall pleasure is for you.

When she knows that any helpful tips, comments or critiques she gives you will be accepted as a gift, she can feel as if she is giving them to you, instead of that she is burdening you with them. When she is ready to divulge information about her sexual preferences, don’t take in a list of questions and read it off like an interview. Go in having already thought about what you want to know about her, and take the time to volunteer some of the same information about yourself to encourage her when you start out.

Take care to be positive and gentle when talking about her sexual performance. Tell her what she already does that you like!

Make A Deal

No accusations, no judgments, no huffy remarks or pouty lips; it’s time to sit down and have that chat. Sexpert Tracey Cox suggests three things to remember when it comes time for open and honest communication about your sex life:

First, take the time to figure out what it is you want, and be very specific. You know that you aren’t satisfied with your sex life, and you probably figure your wife isn’t either. Do you want to know how to please her better? Do you want more sex? How much more, and what kind? Do you need to have more orgasms, or do you want to opportunity to touch her more often? Do you want to have sex more in the morning, or during the daylight hours? Are you interested in trying more new things, or is there something you know that you like, that you want to do more often?

Second, how much information do you really want from her? Do you want details of past lovers and how they touched her? Are you prepared to hear about any difficult or shocking experiences? It is important to know how many details you are willing to divulge as well. Tell her how much you are willing to hear, and let her do the same.

Finally, agree that “no” means “no more.” Whether it’s just the sexual conversation, or time to try things out, it is important to have a clear understanding that either of you can say “I’m sorry, that technique (or role play, or sex position) isn’t working” or “Hey, I need a break to collect my thoughts” if things aren’t going quite the way you anticipated.

It can be a bit overwhelming when you try to get into the details, which is why you should think about it for a while before you sit down to talk. Furthermore, you should give your wife the chance to think about it as well. When you sit down to make your deal, take the time to discuss what you really want to know about each other.

How To Choose The Right Lube

By

Lube is essential for almost all sexual activities – especially manual stimulation – but selecting the right kind can be a little overwhelming.

Perhaps you have already taken a look at your local sex shop, or at online stores to see what the selection is like. I bet you were taken aback! Heck, my sex toy store has over a thousand different products in the lubrication category!

That is a whole lot of choice, so let’s take a minute and talk about your options. Lubricants can easily be broken down into a few categories based on ingredients.

First, the “base” of the lubricant determines how they can be used – silicone lube, for example, can’t be used with silicone toys; oil-based lubricant is not safe for use with condoms; some women are incredibly sensitive and will only be able to use lubes that are based on natural, organic ingredients.

Next, there are lubes that are best for anal sex, others that heat up or cool down, and even some with special flavors just for oral. Be sure you know what you’re getting into before going on a shopping spree.

Oil & Water

Oil based lubricants are great, especially natural ones, because the body just soaks them up and gets silky smooth. Most oil-based lubricants, unless otherwise labeled, are not condom safe. If this is your choice of birth control, move on to another selection.

Water based lubricants are the best all-around choice. Not only are they safe for condoms, but with silicone and other toys as well. They are also easy to wash out of sheets and clothing. They do tend to evaporate quickly, but a bit of saliva or a light mist of cool water will slick them back up in no time.

Silicone

Silicone-based lubricants are smooth like silk and great for long lasting play, but are no good when using silicone toys and not great for oral sex. Silicone may not taste very good, but you only need a touch and it will last for hours. It is safe to use with condoms, so if you do have silicone toys, you can protect them with a latex condom or nitrile glove. If you are planning to try a bit of back door play, pick one that is nice and thick.

Au Natural

If your wife or girlfriend is particularly concerned about what kind of liquid love gets inside her body, or if she happens to be sensitive to parabens or other irritating ingredients in most popular lubes, you should take advantage of the growing array of natural and organic products for the conscientious buyer. If plain coconut oil won’t do, or you want something a bit slicker for longer play, these are right up your alley.

Hot, Cold And Delicious

Whether you want something that is going to warm up with some vigorous thrusting, or a bit of icy gel to get her clitoris tingling under your touch and tongue, there are options available for your delight! Tingling lubricants and gels are also great for nipple play, especially if they are edible. They will help to harden her nipples right up, making them extra sensitive to your mouth and fingers, and also give them a bit of a slippery surface for extra sensation.

Flavored lubes are obviously best for a bit of oral play, but be very careful. Many of these lubes contain irritants or sugars that can cause a yeast infection if they get inside her vagina, so if you use them on her genitals, be sure to only put a drop on her clitoris and keep your fingers clean for insertion when your tongue techniques have made her wet.