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How To Break Up Without Hurting Him

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A break up is tough, but sometimes it’s inevitable. Here’s how to break up with your man as nicely as possible – and avoid doing major damage.

We have all been there. You go out with a guy a couple of times and things are great for the first two dates. After the third date things are kind of bland and by the fourth date you know that this is not somebody that you want to be with. One of the most heartbreaking aspects of this scenario is the fact that he’s still into you. Knowing how to break up with him without hurting his feelings can be a weight off of your shoulders. When done properly, you might even still be able to maintain a friendship. Here are a few ways that you break up with him without hurting his feelings.

Nip It In The Bud

A lot of women feel like the man that they’re dating could come around so they try to stick it out. This is not something that should be recommended. Even if he is really nice, you need to break up as soon as you know that he’s not right for you. Doing it in the beginning will save him a lot of heartache in the end. Dragging the relationship out because you feel like you might grow to love him is selfish. Not breaking up with him is selfish also. By breaking up with you are doing him a favor.

Avoid Clichés

“It’s not you…it’s me” and “You’ll find somebody” are patronizing and he could get very offended. When a guy gets offended he get defensive. The last thing that you want is a defensive man that starts verbally attacking everything about you. Just explain to him that you think he’s a great man, but that he’s not right for you. This is an easy way to say that you’re not interested and there’s not much he can do about it. Since you haven’t been seeing him for very long, he shouldn’t make a big deal out of it.

Be Specific

Using vague statements like “I’m looking for something different” is not enough. When you tell him that he’s not right for you, explain why. Whether it be that you want a partner that wants kids and marriage or that you need someone that is a little more romantic, specifics are best for a break up. This gives him a clear reason of why you don’t want to continue the relationship. You don’t have to attack him or his personality, but make sure that he understands why you are breaking up.

Don’t Be Overly Apologetic

Only say “I’m sorry” once. You’re not taking his house away from him; you’re breaking up with him. Since you’ve only been out with the fella a few times his world isn’t going to pieces. Don’t act like you are the end all and that he’s never going to find another person. Just say, “I’m sorry that we didn’t work out” and leave it at that. When you start apologizing profusely he’s going to think that you’re obsessed with yourself. Statements like “It’s not like you’re Heidi Klum” might come up if you show an inflated ego.

Don’t Stick Around

One of the worst things that you can do is ask him out to dinner when you’re breaking up with him. Don’t put yourself into the situation of having an obligation after you deliver the news. Ask him out for a drink or go over to his house. If you ask him over to your home, you might have to ask him to leave. Always have an escape route. If you stick around he might just try to change your mind. Make it clear that you have no interest in seeing him again and then leave the situation.

Trying To Be Friends

If you have left the situation amicably then you’re in the minority. Most men do not want to be friends with girls they have dated in the past. However, if he wants to still be friends with you, give it a little distance. Remaining friends with a man after you have dated is an honorable thing to do, but if you agree to this you should definitely keep out of touch for a little while. When you break up with a guy, the game begins. A girl that breaks up with a guy is a challenge and men love challenges. Keep the phone calls, text messages and emails to a minimum. Checking up on him can make you seem like his mother and that’s not needed either. Let him live his life after the break up. Don’t let guilt get the best of you. Furthermore, you should be out living your own life instead of worrying about how he’s doing.

Am I Crazy Or Is She Cheating?

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Cheating is a tough thing to confront, so you want to make sure you’re positive your partner is cheating before you open your mouth. Here’s how to know.

Nobody wants to play the jealous boyfriend, but at one point or another you might find your mind wandering into scary territory. “Is she cheating or am I crazy?” This question comes up too often and it’s hard to determine for some women. The fear of your girlfriend cheating is enough to make any man shake with terror. The fact of the matter is that most women do not cheat. If they are not happy in the relationship, they will probably just break up with you. However, there are a percentage of women who do fall prey to their temptation. Fortunately, there are some very common trends in women who do cheat. Here are a couple of signs that can keep you on the lookout the next time your questions arise.

Her Age

Younger girls are more adept to play games. That’s not to say that an older woman will not stray, but younger girls have little commitment even if they say that they are committed. If your girlfriend is turning 25, 30 or 35 watch for signs of a crisis. These are the ages that women start to question everything about themselves. Have you ever heard a woman say something like “5 years ago I wouldn’t have done this?” Well, 5 years ago she may not have cheated. Ask your partner if she is happy in the relationship and assure her that you are. Make sure that she knows you would never have an affair and wait for her to assure you. If she doesn’t tell you that she would never cheat, get rid of her.

Job Changes

Job changes are a sign that she might be in a place to cheat on you. When a woman starts making more money or she’s put in a higher position at work, she can feel the power. She might feel like you’re yesterday’s news, especially if she’s making more money than you. One of the best ways to combat her new sense of entitlement is to tell her how proud you are of her. Brag about the promotion and let her know that she’s made a big accomplishment. This will give her the emotional support that she needs. If she starts staying at her job late at night after the first 3 months, you might want to consider whether or not she’s actually “working.” Get details when she works late. Find out what she was doing, but don’t make it obvious. Tell her that you want more time together and see what she says. If she gets defensive, something is definitely up.

She’s Put The Brakes On The Relationship

Remember when she used to call you at work just to see how your day is going? When was the last time that happened? If your romance has come to a complete halt, it’s probably time to be concerned. Get together with her and ask what is going on. Confronting the problem is the best way to move past it. The problem might not even have anything to do with you. Talk it out with her and decide on the best course of action. If she says that there’s not a problem with the relationship, offer to take a weekend trip so you can rekindle the romance. If she’s not interested, take caution. She might be seeing somebody or she’s been cheating.

You Haven’t Had Sex In A Couple Of Weeks

Sex is a pretty big part of the relationship. If you aren’t having sex, there are a couple of things that might be going on. One of the possibilities is that she’s not cheating and she’s just not interested in pursuing the relationship any further. The other possibility is that she is cheating and she’s saving all of her sexual attention for the new guy. Before you storm in and accuse her of anything, talk to her. She might have something going on with her vagina that she’s too embarrassed to tell you about. Assure her that you just want to know what the problem is. Women tend to without sex is there are deeper issues in the relationship so be prepared to talk through other issues when you bring this up. If she tells you there is nothing wrong after repeatedly asking her, assume the worst.

Cheating happens. There’s nothing that we can do to avoid getting cheated on, but diagnosing a cheater can be fairly easy when you put the relationship under a microscope. Always express concern before you accuse your girlfriend of cheating on you. If you accuse her of cheating and she’s not, she could lose all respect for you.

10 Signs He’s Using You

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Relationship advice is something you need to pay attention to if you suspect that your man is taking advantage of you. Is it true? Find out now!

Being used can be devastating to the ego and your self-esteem. If you’re in a relationship –whether budding or established and you thin that he might be taking advantage of you, you’re probably right. There are a lot of reasons that men use women. Sex is the one that most women think of, but there are others. Men cherish their self-image and having a great looking girl by their side is one of the biggest statements he can make while in public. A beautiful woman is a sign of success and power. This is a coveted feature of any man’s life, but he may only have superficial interest in you.

1. You Can Tell That He Doesn’t Really Care

Does he ask how your day was when you walk through the door? If he does, can you tell that he’s actually interested in what you did for the last 12 hours of your life? If you sense disinterest in your work, your family or your passions, he’s probably taking advantage of you. A guy that takes a genuine interest in all of these aspects is going to respect you and really care about what is going on.

2. He’s Uncompromising

When it comes to making a choice about dinner plans or going to see a movie, does he take an interest in what you want to do? If not, he’s definitely taking advantage of you or he’s a sociopath. Neither of these is good and you should probably move on. You want a man that is going to compromise with what you want and what he wants to do.

3. He’s Cold Out Of The Bedroom

If things are frigid unless you’re under the sheets, you can bet your bottom dollar that he’s wants you for sex. A man that is genuinely affectionate outside of the bedroom and in public can’t help but to show how much he cares about you. Ditch one that is only interested in a connection in the bedroom.

4. He Doesn’t Make You Feel Special

A guy that really cares about you is going to show that you’re the only girl on his mind. If you’re dating a fella that buys you generic gifts on your birthday or blows you off to spend time with his friends, he probably wants you as a backup plan. Get rid of him and get with one that will make you feel like the only girl he’s thinking about.

5. He’s Not Concerned With The Future

No man should ever talk about marriage within the first couple of months, but if your guy isn’t talking about taking trips or possible future plans, he’s probably taking advantage of you. Men that are genuinely interested in a long-term relationship will want to make the appropriate comments signaling this interest. If your man is not talking about the future, you need to ask him if he wants a long-term commitment.

6. He Doesn’t Text Or Call You Back

If you send a text to your guy, what is his typical response time? Does he apologize if he doesn’t respond in a timely manner? If he takes a day or two to get back to you, he’s probably taking advantage of you. Men that are interested won’t leave you hanging.

7. You’ve Only Been On One Date

This is a huge red flag. If the only date that you’ve gone on was the first date, you can be fairly sure that he’s just taking advantage of you. Even if you’re not sleeping with him, he probably just wants you as somebody to hang out with when he has nothing else to do. Traditionally, men want to wine and dine women so be on the lookout for a man that has no interest in taking you on a proper date.

8. He’s Disrespectful

A man should always treat a lady as a lady. If he is disrespectful to you, he just wants you until you hit the breaking point. No man should ever treat a woman as anything other than an equal. Remember this the next time he makes a disrespectful remark.

9. He Hasn’t Introduced You To His Family

If you have only been dating for a couple of weeks, you can let this one slide. But if you have been together for a couple of months and you still haven’t met his parents, there is something else going on. A man wants to have the approval of his parents. Dump him if he refuses to introduce you to his parents.

10. He Doesn’t Want To Meet Your Family

If he avoids meeting your family, this is another red flag. Meeting your family is a big deal. Looking your father in the eye while he inquires about his intentions with you is a staple of every relationship. If your guy refused to meet your family, it’s time to move on.

How To Avoid Workplace Romances

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Romance has a time and place – and at work ISN’T one of them. Here’s how to keep the romance out of your daily job.

A workplace romance can be detrimental to your professional life and career. There is no getting around this. Dating somebody who you work is never a good idea. Most workplace romance takes place with young professionals. Busy work schedules can lead to a lot of time spend with others in your office. Naturally you are going to get close with the girl from sales, but you need to realize what you may be doing to the way that other people in the office see you. Not having the time to meet people outside of the office is a common excuse, but recognizing that this is a recipe for disaster is the first step in avoiding these situations at all costs. Here is a quick guide on how to avoid flirting on the job.

The Signs

The first step in avoiding flirting on the job is to recognize the signs that one is beginning. If you’re getting really close with somebody from work, make sure that you aren’t being overly flirtatious. Being playful with somebody that you work with can be fun and can make the day go by faster, but being overly flirtatious can give them the wrong idea entirely. Take a step back and look for the signs that you are falling into a workplace romance before it even begins.

Make A Commitment

Make a commitment to yourself that you’re not going to enter into a workplace romance. Telling yourself that you’re not going to do something is a good way to avoid it. When you make this commitment, you will be letting yourself down if you break it. This is entirely different than make a commitment to your employer. Most employers frown on romance on the job and this could lead to a very awkward exchange between you, the girl and the HR department.

Think The Worst

The best outcome to a workplace romance could be that you date for a little while, get engaged and then get married. But what about the worst? Have you thought about getting fired? What about if this girl claims sexual harassment? Putting these situations aside, how you would you feel if you were passed up for a promotion because you were dating a girl that would be your subordinate? Always think about the worst thing that could happen to avoid work place romance.

Keep Personal Emails To A Minimum

Emails are a standard for a lot of businesses. Memos, promotional material and other business copy are sent through emails. But what should you do if you get a personal email from a girl that is not exactly “business oriented?” Respond to it with language that cannot be misconstrued. If the emails keep coming, ignore them and have a chat with the girl so she knows that it makes you uncomfortable. Emails have a way a of surfacing even after they are deleted so keep this mind before you that “Send” button.

Business Trips

Business trips can be a lot of fun. Most companies will send their employees to different conferences around the country to get them oriented with the latest technology or techniques in their field. However, business trips can also lead to romance. Sitting at the hotel bar with a coworker sharing stories from college or discussing former relationships can make sparks fly. If you see this coming, avoid the situation by heading back to your room early.

Get Out

One of the best methods to avoiding a workplace romance is to have a non-workplace romance. Being in a relationship will cut all of the funny business out of your real business. Make time to get out and meet people other than those that you work with. Join a gym or just get together with friends and head out one night a week. Making an effort to meet people other than those that you work with will put you in a position to meet a girl that will not affect your professionalism.

We have all heard the horror stories of a workplace romance. Some of the outcomes can even be scary. Dating on the job can easily ruin your credibility within a business and there are countless people who have changed jobs specifically because of this. If you love your job then you shouldn’t be willing to sacrifice it on a fling. Be careful during business trips and recognize the signs before a workplace romance begins. Following these simple guidelines will allow you to avoid flirting on the job and keep you in good standing with your employer.

Super Cheap Ways To Romance Your Man!

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Romance is something that tends to leave the relationship after the first 6 months. If you are weary of losing that spark, but you don’t want to spend a ton of money in the process, there are a lot of super cheap ways to keep the romance alive. It doesn’t have to be expensive. We see men in movies taking their dates to the most fancy of restaurants in a big city or boarding a plan to Paris in the middle of the night. For the most part, we won’t be able to do this for our guy. For men, cheap romance is actually welcomed. Here are several ways that you can easily implement some super cheap romance into the relationship.

Give Him A Massage

After a long day at work your guy probably just want to hang out and watch some TV with you. If you want to get the romance started, give him a massage. A massage is physical and we all know how men respond to physicality. Buy some cheap massage oil from a drug store or a department store like Kmart. This will only cost you a few bucks and it can go a long way in showing your guy how much you care about him.

Lay In Bed All Day

Despite their manly exterior, a guy loves staying in bed all day with his significant other. Get a couple of movies and lay around together on a Sunday. Sundays work best because it will help you recharge your batteries for the upcoming week. When the movie is finished, lay in bed and just have a conversation about the future. Talking about your goals and what you want as a future together can be a very romantic.

Take A Bath Together

Turn out all of the lights and fire up some candles. Draw a nice hot bath and let the water brush over both of your bodies. Turn on some music and rub his shoulders as you sit together. The light of the candles and the music will give you a most romantic ambiance.

Do Something You’ve Never Done Together

Have you always wanted to go to that weird art gallery down the street from your house? Have you always wanted hike a trail together? Being together as you try new things can give you memories that will last. Decide on something that the two of you have always talked about doing and actually do it.

Cook Something Together

Cooking can be very sensual and romantic. When you cook together, you use teamwork. If neither of you can cook, you can share a laugh at the final product. When the meal has been made, you can sit together eating the fruits of your labor. After you finish eating, both of you should clean up. Remember, we’re talking about teamwork so both of you should have a part in it.

Take A Short Road Trip Together

Being out on the road can be very romantic. Choose a place that is close to your house so you aren’t spending very much money on gas or a hotel room. A day trip can bring you close together and the drive will give you time to talk. A very cheap road trip could be to a field outside your city to look at the stars. Bring a blanket and lay it down in the field. Turn on your car radio for some music and lay together under the night’s sky.

Leave Secret Notes For Him

Before you leave for the day, leave a little note for your guy telling him how much you love him. When he finds this, he will feel good for the rest of the day. To take it a step further, leave a note for him in a place that he will find it later on in the day. The inside pocket of a suit jacket works very well.

Romance doesn’t have to die out after the first 6 months of your relationship. You can easily keep it going by being proactive. Relationships are work and there is no doubting this. However, you don’t have to spend a ton of money to show your guy how much you care about him. You can do it on the cheap and get the same, if not better results in the process. Super cheap romance is a way to show your guy that you value him personally and not monetarily. Implement these suggestions into your relationship and you should get the romance flowing once again.