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Q&A: First Time Sex – Is A Condom Enough?

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First time sex can be nerve wracking, even if you’re taking precautions. There are plenty of things to worry about when it comes to first time sex, such as pain, sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancy. Safe sex is always important, but is using a condom all you need to do?

Question: My boyfriend and I are planning on having our first time soon, and we both said condoms are a must, I’m very pleased with that, but I’m still afraid it will break or rip or leak and I will become pregnant. So I’m trying to find out what the best brand is. Thickest perhaps? We want a latex condom for sure though. Is there any way to help settle my nerves so I can enjoy our first time?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtSvAjK2Q8w[/youtube]

Is A Condom Enough?

If you want to practice safer sex, using a condom during intercourse is an absolute must. But is using a condom all you need to do? Planned Parenthood says that each year, 2 out of every 100 women who always use condoms correctly will become pregnant. They go on to say that each year, 15 out of 100 women who use condoms incorrectly will become pregnant. So what does it mean to use a condom correctly? Surprisingly, it takes a lot to put on a condom “correctly,” including washing your hands before, leaving enough space for the semen at the tip and taking it off correctly. Many people fail to do this when they’re passionate and in the heat of the moment. Condoms are a must, but they really aren’t enough – they are, however, a great first layer of defense.

Hormonal Birth Control

Many people choose to use hormonal birth control in addition to using condoms, especially for first time sex. There are many forms of birth control including the popular pill, the ring, the patch, injections and even implants that last for five years! There are lots of options, so be sure to talk with your doctor about the right options for you. Hormonal birth control does not protect against sexually transmitted diseases, so it’s important to continue using condoms if you’re with a partner who has not been tested or if you are not monogamous. Birth control will, however, significantly reduce your risk of an unplanned pregnancy, even more so if you use birth control and condoms together.

Barrier Methods

Barrier methods of birth control are often overlooked, simply because hormonal contraceptives are so popular. Some women can’t use hormonal birth control, so a barrier method is a great choice. You can use a barrier method in addition to condoms if you are unable to use birth control, or you can use a barrier method as yet another layer of defense against unplanned pregnancy. However, keep in mind that condoms are the only thing that help reduce your risk of contracting STD’s. Barrier methods include spermicide (available in gel, foam, suppository or a small, thin film that you can fold and place inside your vagina), as well as cervical caps and diaphragms which are usually available at your doctor’s office but may have to be specially made to fit you.

There Is Always A Small Chance

The only 100% effective form of birth control and STD prevention is abstinence. If you want to be absolutely, positively sure that you won’t get pregnant, consider abstinence. No method of birth control including condoms and barrier methods are 100% effective. Yes, they greatly reduce your risk of STD’s and pregnancy, but even with a double or triple layer defense, there is still a very tiny, very small chance that you could become pregnant or contract an STD.

Don’t assume that you are completely safe and fail to make plans if you should become pregnant. Have the conversation with yourself and your partner about what would happen if you did become pregnant. What would you do? How would you handle it? If you’re not ready to have this conversation in the event that your birth control fails, then you’re definitely not yet ready for first time sex. Dealing with the hard questions up front not only shows maturity, it also makes things easier for you later if something does actually happen – that way, you’re not completely unprepared. Recognizing the risk but taking as many precautions as possible and practicing safe sex is the best thing you can do if you want to make sex safer and reduce the risk of STD’s and unplanned pregnancy as much as you can.

 

Sex: Physical Vs. Emotional And Why You Need To Know The Difference

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Sex has several facets to it, but the biggest two are the physical side of sex and the emotional side of sex. Here’s why YOU need to understand the difference. Every time sex is on the table, two elements come in focus – there’s a PHYSICAL and a PSYCHOLOGICAL-EMOTIONAL side.

One is not more important than the other, and they are not mutually exclusive. But for our purposes here, we shall treat them as if they were.

One Side Of Sex Vs. The Other

Physical sex refers to those luscious lips you long to kiss, that pair of erect nipples on a horny woman’s heaving bosom and that firm body you long to be on top of.

Psychological-Emotional sex can refer to many things. Since sex stands on an interactional and symbolic basis, the issues of self-esteem, self-control, self-concept, self-confidence, dominance and sexual hang-ups come in. Also included are the feelings for the person you’re with, or the lack thereof. It’s your perception of the relationship, is it a one-night stand or a long-term thing?

The Difference Between Men And Women When It Comes To Sex

Men are naturally dialed to the physical. Huge breasts. Tight ass. And of course—a freak in bed, willing to try every silly trick in the book. Still, it doesn’t mean the psychological-emotional issues never come in. One can’t escape them – whether one likes it or not, both sides come into play every time.

Women dig the Psychological-Emotional, and for many, sex presupposes an emotional connection. Not necessarily the “I’m so gonna marry this guy” feeling, but at least a feeling of closeness and comfort. Barring the effects of alcohol, many won’t sleep with a guy unless they feel something. “I’m not that kind of girl,” they’d say.

But that’s not alluding to women never looking at the physical – your girl  is much hornier than you think. They do get it on, and when they get going, they REALLY get going. They absolutely lust for and look at the physical – “He’s got to have blue eyes, a captivating smile and a tongue that won’t quit.”

You can say that women are plugged to both physical & psychological aspects. They know that the best sex is when it’s with someone they really care about. Eve knows that having a warm body on top of her, caressing places where-the-sun-don’t-shine, is physically rewarding, but when it’s done by the person she’s really into, it becomes more intense – a lot more! That’s the psychological-emotional part talking right there.

Combining The Two Together To Become Great At Sex

Get this: Getting laid in the most ecstatic and unbelievable manner will always involve the recognition of the 2 sides. The greatest encounters cannot unfold by virtue of only the physical. The psychological-emotional is a big, big chunk of the game and overlooking it deprives one the full continuum of pleasures.

To become a great lover, one cannot miss the emotional train and purely take a physical stance. Many women, probably the majority, get satisfaction not mainly through the physical but from its emotional underpinnings. Emotions are a big hit to your girl; she is literally a slave to them.

Thus, what you accomplish in her emotionally reinforces what you accomplish physically. You may not really be a blast when it comes to sex techniques and fanfare, but you will still rock her world if she’s really that into you – (her brain will think so.)

Sex Tips: What Is Sexual Programming?

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Sex tips are how to’s and what to do’s, but what if you looked deeper into it? Understanding your own “sexual programming” may be all the sex tips you need.

What comes to mind when you hear the word “SEX”? What pictures flood your head? What positions do you see, what sounds do you hear? How far will you go in its name and what are your boldest, darkest fantasies? How about your most embarrassing bedroom moments? Recall the best hump you’ve ever had. Who were you with?

Then imagine the one person on this planet you absolutely want to do it with. What would that be like?

Think about these things.

What Is “Sexual Programming?”

Your answers form part of your Sexual Programming (SP). Every idea, picture, expectation about sex is part of your SP. Our Sexual Programming is essentially what we think about “SEX.” It is a collection of beliefs, conditioning, and how it has remained or evolved over the years.

You have your own sexual ideas, sexual biases and therefore your own personal SP. You didn’t come into this with zero knowledge or expectation of what we’ll be talking about. Heck, you may even have a whole bag of techniques and a wealth of experience.

So let me ask you: How much do you consciously know about your own Sexual Programming?

Knowing Your Own SP

The problem with many people, and not just guys, is that they are too focused on sex tips and don’t have the vaguest idea about their SP’s. They don’t know what they want, not having taken the time to really think about it. For sure they want lots of hot sex. But ask them “What kind?”, and they start stuttering the details.

Sexual Programming determines how one goes about the act. If it’s just a libido-quenching affair for you, you’ll have no qualms with one-night stands (and definitely won’t call the next day.) If for you it’s something sacred, you might be a virgin waiting for your equally virgin bride. You can be the former or the latter, and everything in between.

SP not only guides your actions, expectations and rationalizations, it defines your experience – that’s how powerful it is!

Reprogram Yourself

If the ideas, thoughts and feelings you have about sex aren’t ideal, it’s time to reprogram yourself. A poor SP can lead to an unsatisfying sex life, no matter how many sex tips you read about and utilize. You can reprogram yourself a number of ways:

  • If you were abused as a child in some way, seek help. This most certainly is part of your SP and can drastically reduce satisfaction in your current sex life.
  • Research sex tips. Arm yourself with the knowledge of how to please a woman and how to please yourself.
  • Communicate with your partner about your sex life, what you want and what they want.
  • Be open minded to new things and new possibilities.
  • Be confident!

 

 

How To Become The Sensual Seductress Your Man Fantasizes About!

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Most sex tips are going to be lost on you if you’re hiding your erotic side. However, these sex tips will teach you how to become the naughty girl your guy wants!

If racy undergarments, racks of sex toys, and adult videos make you want to hide beneath the sheets, you sure are oblivious of what real moments of ecstasy and fun feels like. It is indeed a curious exhilaration to discover your sensual side and embrace a whole new world of sexual fun.

Before we get to the point, the first of these sex tips would be – relax! Put your guards down and you, the uptight lot – think less, and feel more. Now that you are ready to experience the best of your body and carnal desires, here is a list of suggestions that would transform you into a seductive tigress:

Wear Sexy Lingerie That Reveals Your Curves Just Right

When you feel sexy, you look sexy. If thongs are what caters to your fancy, try going in for a nice lace thong that has a wider back to ensure better comfort, like the popular 4811 thong from Hanky Panky, or the Never Say Never by Cosabella. Another secret is hidden in boy shorts. Guys love them – really! So get yourself one that fits you, and gives a small glimpse of your cheeks. Sometimes the idea of sex is itself so erotic. Lace boy shorts are a good pick.

Also, you cannot deny how hot garter belts are! You can either keep them hanging loose on your bare legs, or simply clip them to some thigh-highs. Both ways, it’s gonna be irresistible!

Dive In With Sex Toys

Do not complicate. Since you would be a beginner with sex toys, start on with anything that is small and easy to use. A LELO Mia or Nea are discreet choice for masturbation. For some adventurous fun, the We-Vibe and Pleasure Commander are some of the best selling sex toys for couples. One thing that you must not forget is that these are mere toys and not a replacement of your lover – they simply make lovemaking more fun and brings in versatility to your bedroom.

Try Lube

Silicone-based lubes, such as Pjur or Swiss Navy are great choices as they do not contain any biocides or parabens, and often remain slippery for a longer duration, in comparison to their water-based counterparts.

Be sure to stick to glycerin-free lubes, as anything that contains glycerin is bound to have sugar that can instigate yeast infection. Lubes that have warming ingredients have also been known to have caused some allergic reactions, so they are also a big NO! But you can always take lube in your hand and rub them for a few minutes, it will warm up on its own.

Watch Some Good Porn

Yes, there are adult videos that both men and women can enjoy together. Anything that will have some stimulating foreplay and a bit of storyline will get you started well. Couples videos usually make for a good watch as they normally focus shots, face shots, have attractive performers, as well as more sensuality that will get you going between the sheets right away. The Masseuse starring Jenna Jameson or the Chemistry Series starring Tristen Taormino are a big hit among the couples. Eyes of Desire or The Bridal Shower are some good bets if you want some story to go along with it.

Grab Some Erotic Books

Instinctively you may be thinking of picking up some how-to books to explore new ideas. There are many books out there that can inspire you immensely. A game of truth or dare, or reading aloud an erotic fiction to your lover can also ignite that fizzle and make the passion burn forever.

Creativity in bedroom keeps boredom out of your relationship and entwines you with him for love, lust and more, that is bound to last until eternity.

Sex Tips: The TRUTH About How Women Look At Men Sexually

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Sex tips will get you only so far – understanding the way girls see guys sexually will give you the foundation for a great sex life.

Gorgeous Girls With Ugly Guys?

I’m sure you’ve seen it a million times: the most beautiful woman you’ve seen in years on the arm of the ugliest/nerdiest/oldest man you’ve ever seen. I’m sure your first thought was, “Wow, that guy must be filthy freakin’ rich!” Well, maybe. Maybe not. Either way, that’s probably not the whole story.

The Difference Between Guys And Girls

Men and women become sexually aroused for different reasons. Men are visual, and women are multisensory. While men can get turned on by even a hint of naked flesh, women incorporate all their senses and feelings into arousal. So even if the man isn’t the most visually appealing, he could be brilliant with a wicked sense of humor and smells nice and tastes like chocolate mousse, and, yes, maybe he pays for dinner. One thing you can guarantee, he has admitted to goals outside getting that woman into bed.

When It Comes To Having Sex

Women look at the whole package, or at least aspects of the package you don’t. When men see a beautiful woman, they are physically capable of having sex with her in a matter of seconds, and probably able to finish not long after that. (This is part of the reason Playboy has remained one of the most successful publications in American history, and why Playgirl tanked when gay men got their own porn.) Women, however, need to have other senses satisfied. A good conversation is as erotic to a woman as her low-cut blouse is to you.

Sex And Emotion

This brings us to the next point: to a woman, sex and emotion are not mutually exclusive. A woman has to feel an emotional connection to her partner in order to enjoy the sex. This does not mean that a woman cannot have casual sex. It simply means that there must be an understanding of mutual respect between partners for a woman to be satisfied.

All that requires is for the man to be aware of the fact that there is a living, breathing, responsive human under him. Stated as such, that may be obvious, but it is quite overlooked. While you’re hoping you don’t have premature ejaculation, she is feeling every moment of the process and evaluating it. If you’re ignoring her while you’re inside her, she can sense it, and may see it as a form of rejection. This will not make her want to have sex with you again.

If You Can Make Her Orgasm

So there you go, if the ugly/nerdy/old guy can get a supermodel (and make her orgasm), then by all means you should be able to get the cute girl two cubes down from you. Just appeal to all her senses. And throw on some Barry White. That never hurt anyone.