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You are here: Home / Archives for Sex & Intimacy / Anal Sex

10 Anal Sex Rules You NEVER Want To Overlook!

By loveandsex

Anal sex can be a lot of fun for both a man and a woman. However, there are things that should not be overlooked. Here are 10 rules to live by when deciding on this particular sex act.

1. Never Do It While She’s Pregnant

Dr. Ruth Westheimer, sex therapist, media personality and author, points out that some men think that having vaginal intercourse during pregnancy will somehow hurt the baby, so they suggest anal intercourse instead, which is not true. Anal sex can be very dangerous during pregnancy, especially because of the risk of spreading bacteria from the anus and rectum to the vagina.

Vaginal infections during pregnancy can be both harder to treat and more serious. Moreover, it is more difficult to get in a comfortable position for anal stimulation while pregnant, which makes it least desired by women. Also, hemorrhoids are a common side effect of pregnancy and could make anal sex excruciatingly painful for her.

2. Don’t Do Her By Surprise

Word of advice: girls are not amused when boys slip their penises in the wrong hole “by mistake”. It doesn’t matter how turned on she is, she will feel the difference, and she won’t be very happy about it. The only way you’re getting in there is if she’s ready for it. And you’ve talked about it beforehand. And she’s agreed to give it a try. There are no other options. Everything else is a forced-sexual encounter, and you don’t want her to think that about you, do you?

3. Never Skip Foreplay

Even if she’s the type that likes it rough, it’s different when it comes to anal intercourse. Foreplay is critical. She might like when you surprise her with sudden trysts, without any clitoral stimulation beforehand, but she might not like it when you do the same, but in her derriere.

4. Start Slow And Move Step By Step

The anal tightness takes time to ‘break’ into a state of relaxation, and until that happens, any attempt at thrusting is meant to cause pain of the worst kind. This pain is the worst for first time anal sex, so avoid it all costs.

5. Don’t Push It Too Soon

One of Murphy’s famous laws on sex goes something like this: “Anal sex is like snow. You never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.” Always keep in mind that there is no sure thing when it comes to anal sex. She might not want to go through with it tonight, and that means you should always be prepared to back off whenever she asks you to. If you’re too insistent too soon, you might scare her for good.

6. Don’t Go Too Hard

Camille Paglia, feminist author, teacher and social critic said at one point: “You have to accept the fact that part of the sizzle of anal sex comes from the danger of it. You can be overpowered.” Though you can get over excited while you’re doing it, keep a lucid mind and think about the consequences that your roughness can produce. Keep your enthusiasm in your heart, not in your moves, otherwise you can end up hurting her.

7. Don’t Forget About Breathing

Deep inhaling and exhaling is very important during anal sex. Ask your partner to take relaxing breaths so that the anus doesn’t tighten up too soon. After you have inserted your finger or penis inside the anus, get her to exhale deeply so that the muscles relax. Yoga lessons can help her control her breathing, so it wouldn’t hurt if she took some.

There is no such thing as too much lube. People who like anal sex use to say that “too much lube is almost enough.” This is true. Don’t worry about the mess. As long as you’re using the right type (condom compatible), you have nothing to fear about. Lube her whole body if you want, from head to toe, whatever makes you two feel comfortable enough so that the experience is pleasurable.

8. Don’t Use Numbing Cream

Never use lubricants that contain numbing ingredients under the mistaken impression that it’s a good thing not to feel sore. Pain is a sign that your body should desist from what it is doing and this is not something you should ever overlook. She could get hurt really bad without either of you realizing it.

Also, you could get hurt just as well. Accept the fact that it is possible that it hurts in the beginning and move through to the pleasurable phase. That is the natural way of doing it and it saves you both from unneeded complications.

9. Use Protection

Even if you’re a solid couple and you trust each other, you should never do it without a condom. There a number of diseases that you can get and it’s not worth the trouble. However, if you’re dead set on not using, for whatever reason you may invoke, The American Medical Women’s Associations recommends that before safer sex protections are discontinued, both you and your partner be tested for HIV.

10. Don’t Switch Holes Without Switching Hats

There’s a reason women swipe their lady parts from You have to accept the fact that part of the sizzle of anal sex comes from the danger of it. You can be overpowered. The germs that exist in the fecal remains cause serious infections both to the
vagina and to the urinary tract. Either you switch condoms or you put on double hats and when the backdoor job is complete, you can take one off and continue to vaginal intercourse.

Filed Under: Anal Sex Tagged With: anal sex, first-time-anal-sex, foreplay, lube, sex tips

2 Ways To Get Your Girl To Want Anal Sex NOW!

By loveandsex

Anal sex is a very intimate act for women. They are allowing someone to enter the “forbidden zone” of their body, which is a huge deal. That’s why it requires a certain level of trust and a lot of communication. She is not going to agree to do it unless
she is one hundred per cent sure that it will be all right, that you know what you are doing and that she is not going to feel pain.

You have to play your cards right and don’t leave her any room for complaining. Simone de Beauvoir explained it better: “Sex pleasure in a woman is a kind of magic spell; it demands complete abandon; if words or movements oppose the magic of caresses, the spell is broken.”

If you want to get her to agree to it, you must start small, step by step, seducing both her mind and her body. Tease her to the extent that she can’t take it anymore and she’s the one begging you to do it.

1. Stimulate her mind

You’re probably wondering what goes on through that pretty head of hers while she’s looking at you, indecisive and troubled. Reading a woman’s body language can be tough, Steve Martin made quite the funny joke about it: “You know that look women have when they want sex? Me neither…”

However, there are a few things that you can do to break that cold “no” and that dead silence. You just have to be persistent, calm and methodical. First of all, fix the breach in communication. Talk to her about analingus, if it’s a blurry thing for her or if she doesn’t even heard of it beforehand. Explain your reasons for wanting it, share your deepest desires and fantasies and ask her to tell you what she thinks about it.

You can start by discussing the subject in general, maybe mentioning that a couple of your friends are doing it and it turned out to be a successful venture for them. Tell your girl details, read together articles about it, and then move to asking how she feels about you two giving it a try.

Don’t force an answer on the spot, if she’s not ready. Let your girlfriend meditate on the subject on her own, or with friends, for a couple of days, then demand an ultimatum. Then, talk to her about any fears. After extensive interviews with women all over the country, I have come to the conclusion that, besides the pain factor, most women are simply worried about the mess.

The idea that the whole act could become a sticky situation is hugely embarrassing for them. Women spend so much time making themselves look and smell good that they can’t accept the fact that you will consider them dirty.

Try and subtly bring that up, assuring your girl that there is no problem from your part and that you will never judge negatively when it comes to this aspect. Tell her that you could never consider her dirty, and that, in fact, dirty is not even the right word to use in this context, because anal sex is not dirty, but kinky.

2. Stimulate Her Body

The most common mistake that men do when they decide to try anal sex with their girlfriends is that they proceed without proper preparations. My secret? Extended foreplay! I have developed a three day routine that is meant to “desensitize” a woman’s derriere and help experience anal sex as she should: an act of pure pleasure. Here’s what you have to do:

Day 1

Start with a sexy shower together. Kiss, stroke and massage her body with all the nicely scented lotions she has in the bathroom. Take time to truly connect through the power of tactile orgasm. When you hear your girl moan with pleasure, reach on the buttocks and massage, stroke and knead the muscles until they relax.

Gradually move your fingers to the space between the cheeks and allow your fingers to slightly pass over the anus, without inserting anything! Give  a deep kiss and let your girl finish the bath alone.

Day 2

Surprise your girl with a good dose of oral sex. As she becomes more aroused, apply a generous amount of water-based lubricant to your index finger and begin to gently massage her anus.

Start with long, slow strokes, and as your tongue is caressing her clitoris, move your finger in circles around the opening of the anus. After a couple of minutes of anal massage, begin to gently push your finger against the opening of her anus with steady pressure.

Day 3

Now that she’s ready and eager for more, it’s time to start slowly inserting your well-lubed finger. After warming her up with the steps described above, insert an inch or two of your index into her anus. While she breathes deeply, start to move your finger around in small circles.

If she’s not objecting, you can start moving your finger in and out, simulating intercourse. Re-apply lube every time it’s necessary. I usually advise couples to stop here, but if she’s eager for some penis action (or a sex toy, maybe!), you know what to do!

Once you’ve completed both courses of stimulation, mental and physical, there’s no reason for her to object anymore. If she’s open minded and curious about the multi-faceted aspect of her own sexuality, she’ll have no reason to no want to try it. After all, as I have told you before, women want it just as badly as men.

Filed Under: Anal Sex Tagged With: anal sex, foreplay, kinky sex, sex tips

4 Anal Sex Exercises For Increased Pleasure TODAY!

By loveandsex

Anal sex can painful when your girlfriend or wife is not prepared. The anus is a short button-like piece of soft tissue, at the end of the intestinal system. It’s lined with tissue and muscle that connects it to the clitoral network, and it’s densely packed with nerve endings which make it extremely responsive to light touch and deep pressure.

The bad news is that it’s not very elastic compared to the vagina. It also contains no natural lubricant, which means it’s important to take anal sex gradually, to avoid skin getting cut or split.

Surrounding the pink, wrinkled button of happiness are two rings of muscle, the internal and external sphincters, which tighten up to keep the anus closed and relax to release bowel contents. You control the external sphincter, meaning that you can tighten and relax it at will. These exercises are perfect to employ before first time anal sex.

In order for your girl to be more relaxed and anal penetration easier for the both of you, it’s important that she works those
muscles. If you want, you can also do them. In the case of men, they are very helpful when it comes to controlling your ejaculation and increasing erection capacity.

1. Squeeze And Hold

As you slowly inhale, contract your PC muscles (if you haven’t yet found them, just pretend you want to stop peeing; the muscles that contract in order to stop the flow of urine are your PC muscles). Keep the rest of the body relaxed, especially your shoulders.

Hold your breath (and contract your muscles) the time that it takes you to count up to ten, then slowly exhale and gradually relax the tension in your muscles. Do the exercise ten times. If you find them too tiring at first, don’t overdo it. It’s just like with sports, you have to start gradually so that you don’t tire or get clammed up.

2. Squeeze And Push

Start in the same way I described above, but hold your breath and contract the PC muscles the time that is takes you to count up to five. The next five seconds, exhale deeply while pushing out your muscles, like when you poop. Repeat ten times.

3. Quick As A Bird

This exercise is a little more difficult than the previous two. The beginning is the same, the difference is that, this time, while you’re holding your breath, try and quickly relax and contract your PC muscles five times. Start with just five repetitions, so that you don’t tire the muscles, then gradually move up to ten repetitions.

4. Back And Forth

This exercise is only meant for your girlfriend or wife, and it involves all of her down there parts. Here’s what she has to do:
as she slowly inhales, she should tighten both her anus and the muscles inside her vaginal canal, one by one from the opening, all the way back to her cervix. She should stay like that for a maximum of five seconds, then, as she slowly exhales, she can release the pressure first off the vaginal muscles, then off her anus. Repeat the exercise ten times.

Filed Under: Anal Sex Tagged With: anal sex, kegels, PC muscles, sex tips

7 Anal Sex Sins You Do All The Time!

By loveandsex

Anal sex can be a great way to spice up your sex life. For generations, anal sex has been considered a no-go by women out there. But although this “national epidemic” is widely reported, the reason that the situation is such escapes most men.

The fact is that women, as much as men, are telling researchers more and more often that they would like to experience anal sex. e most men that come to me with the frustration of having been rejected to not give up. When your girl has doubts, it’s your job as a guy, who innately hates to admit defeat, to try to prove her.

1. You Aren’t Prepared

When it comes to first time anal sex, you don’t just rely on your instincts, on what nature taught you unknowingly. You need to come prepared, with your lessons learned, if you want it to be an awesome experience for both of you, the first time and many times that will follow. Anal is not just sticking your penis inside her bootie and shaking it all around.

You should be aware of her anatomy, how her body works, what you can do to stimulate her at the right time, etc. If you don’t enter the situation sufficiently informed, you are not going to have hot sex. But you will convince her that “no” was the right answer after all.

2. Your Manual Is Porn

Another thing that confuses you and stops you from performing at your full potential is the misinterpretation given by the porn industry. What we’re getting is a whole new order of sex positions, involving a different order of experiences. These things are beginning to reach into our lives and change the interior design of our sexual fantasies.

We’ve got to recognize that what one sees through the window of the TV screen is not as important as what we are bound to experience in our real lives. Anal sex is not as easy to master and straightforward as you see it in your XXX collection.

Professional porn actresses are either stretched out or they are using a numbing cream or gel to dull the pain. Another possibility: they start filming after having injected tons of lube inside her bootie and after she’s been aroused to some extent, so that the act seems real and doable. Don’t believe those that are trying to convince you that it’s not a big deal, because, in fact, it is.

3. You Don’t Talk To Her Beforehand

Women are scared. Yes. They get cold sweats and shivers when they think about it and the only thing that would mend this is just a few words of encouragement from your part. Not the “you’ll see you’ll like it” whispered by surprise, when you’re having sex, not that one. That doesn’t count as the talk.

Approach the subject in a non-sexual environment, and make sure you give her all the support, promise of protection and patience she needs. Take your time and assure her that it will be ok, it will feel good and it won’t hurt. Talk it over.

Find out exactly what makes her hesitant to try it and then see what you can do to belie her fears. Communication is a big deal for women; you ought to know that by now.

4. You Don’t Stimulate Her Enough

It is important that she is very turned on before you even go near her derriere. When she’s really heated up, her body is much more open to you than if she is only mildly turned on. She needs to be aching for you to touch her there. Otherwise, instead of giving you the moans and groans, she’ll just respond with a tense grimace. Rub her body all over with lube, get her relaxed with kisses and caresses, maybe a good dose of cunnilingus.

5. You Lose Focus

Once the hardest part is over and you find yourself inside her, you need to continue to be highly aware of every move you make, since being too rough can cause her considerable pain. You cannot thrust into her anus as hard as you would into her vagina.

Take it easy and pay attention to how it is making her feel. If she tells you to stop, then stop. If she tells you to get out, then get out. If you get selfish and focus on your pleasure over her potential pain, this will probably be the last time you’ll have anal sex with her.

6. You Don’t Let Her Set The Pace

A big part of the fear that women feel when it comes to anal sex is that they are helpless in this game of power play. If you want her to agree to it and also love the experience, let the action happen on her own grounds. Let her hold your penis and guide it slowly inside of her anus.

Even if it takes her half an hour to insert an inch, let her do it. If you surprise her with a sudden movement, the thought of having lost the control will make her even more scared. Just talk to her while she’s doing the job, seduce her mind and she’ll really let loose.

7. You Neglect Her Other Lady Parts

The sensation of touching the anus or rectum alone may feel uncomfortable for your girl, but couple it with penetration or oral sex, and suddenly it’ll feel much better. If you keep her mind busy with an awesome female orgasm, she won’t mind the back action that much. For example, while you’re fingering her anus, kiss her really deep on the mouth, so that she feels you’re still connected.

Filed Under: Anal Sex Tagged With: anal sex, better sex, female orgasm, first-time-anal-sex, having sex, lube

7 Common Anal Sex Myths DISPELLED!

By loveandsex

Anal sex is one of the most misunderstood sex acts. Break through these well known myths and learn the real TRUTH about anal sex! It’s NOT what you think!

1. It’s Dirty

A simple look around is enough to convince anybody that we’re living in an age where hygiene is better than ever. Anybody who follows the normal hygiene rules ought to have a clean anus. And anyway, feces are stored in the bowel, not in the anus. If she has a good digestion and she makes sure that she poops before you two decide to go bottoms up, everything should be alright.

Normally, there remains only a small amount of fecal matter in the anal canal and rectum after a bowel movement. And one can always resort to an enema for extra cleaning. Don’t do it right before the act though. While it will clean out the anal cavity and may even feel good to some people, excessive douching can dry out the anal canal and cause micro-abrasions that make the transmission of an STD is more likely.

2. It’s Painful

Not if you use proper technique. In fact, when stimulated, this area can be quite pleasurable.  The anus is rich in nerve endings and participates with our genitals in the engorgement, muscular tension and contractions of sexual arousal and orgasm.  However, if you rush things up or you’re too aggressive, it will hurt, but this happens with any kind of sex, not just anal.

It’s critical that you take your time, go very slowly and carefully and use plenty of lube. And yes, saliva just doesn’t cut it in this particular case. Pay attention to her body and the way it responds to your moves and if there is any discomfort, stop immediately. If you don’t, it can make the anus tenser the next time you try it. The body also has a memory of its own, you know.

3. It’s Dangerous To Your Health

If you don’t use a condom or the right type of lube, you can end up with serious health problems. Anal intercourse is the easiest way to transmit HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases. Using a condom decreases the risk. It also keeps you away from getting a urinary tract infection, which could happen if her anus is not as clean as it should be. Don’t think that it’s enough to wash your penis after anal sex to be safe from diseases.

4. It Causes Incontinence

Anal incontinence is caused either by severe damage to the muscles and nerves of the anus or by the brain’s failure to control
the body. First time anal sex should be done by the book. If you’re so rough and tough that it results in
repeated injury to the internal anal sphincter, then yes, you can make your girlfriend or wife incontinent, but if you’re reading this, it means you want to do it right, so that not only both of you feel pleasure, but you’re also safe from unnecessary injury.

5.  It’s Unnatural

“The only unnatural sex act is that which you cannot perform” said Alfred Kinsey. And right he is. Frankly, anal sex has been around for centuries and no, it wasn’t just something the Greeks did. This century does not have a monopoly on imagination and experimenting with one’s body and people from other cultures and other times had discovered long ago that anal sex is neither weird, nor wrong. The bottom line is that it’s your body and your decision. If you think anal sex is unnatural, then don’t do it.

6. It’s A Gay Thing

The majority of people think that anal sex only happens in porn and in the gay community. There are so many jokes about homosexuals and anal sex that of course the myth started to seem real to a bunch of people. But this is not true. There is no link between anal stimulation and homosexuality.

Across the centuries men and women have enjoyed anal sex free of misconceptions and independently of their sexual orientation. Not to mention that many homosexuals simply refuse to have anal sex because they just don’t like it. In Anal Pleasure and Health, Jack Morin reveals that less than 30% of homosexuals have regular anal sex, oral sex being a much more common practice.

7. Women Don’t Enjoy It

You know how they say that bad news travels fast? That’s the situation we’re dealing with right here. We only hear the awful stories of women being forced to it by pushy boyfriends, but we never hear about those savvy girls that enjoy it really much and practice it regularly.

Sex tips columnist Susan Crain Bakos says: “Anal sex is seen as the ultimate male sexual fantasy. We, as a culture, don’t understand how much women can like it too.” And she’s right. Our culture says that “good girls don’t do that” when, in fact, they do. And a lot, if I’m permitted to add.

Filed Under: Anal Sex Tagged With: anal sex, anal-penetration, first-time-anal-sex, orgasm

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