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Why Anal Sex Can Hurt

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Anal sex is not just about penetration of the anus. It encompasses other activities like analingus (licking of the anal region) or fingering the anal hole of your partner. But admittedly, when we say “anal sex” the first thing that comes to mind is penetration.

Do heterosexual couples engage in anal sex? Yes, absolutely. It may surprise some people but there are many straight couples that love anal sex. First of all, anal sex is a popular taboo and the thrill of doing something that’s not supposed to be done adds to the excitement of trying it out. Couples who have tried it often feel a lot closer afterwards.

Trust level is an important factor to consider if you are thinking of trying anal sex. I will not lie to you; the first time you do it, it will hurt. Even after you have been doing it for a while, there is still a certain amount of physical discomfort.

Here are some reasons why anal sex can hurt, and why you need to stock up on lube if you want to try it.

Anal Sex Can Hurt If You Aren’t Expecting It

There is such a thing as a “surprise anal” sex move, but this is so emotionally damaging that I do not recommend it. A man should always ask you nicely if he wants to put it in your ass. At the very least, he should give you the chance to prepare yourself. If a guy dares pull off this stunt, the shock combined with the sense of betrayal that you feel can contribute to the overwhelming physical pain.

Anal Sex Can Hurt If You Are Being Forced To Try It

Even if your boyfriend or husband asks for permission, if you really don’t want to try it, it will hurt. You have to be completely relaxed to enjoy anal sex. Moreover, you have to trust your partner enough to believe that he will stop when you ask him to. The muscle outside the rectum tightens when stimulated, and it will tighten even more when you’re tense or scared. Forcing entry when this muscle is too tight to allow entry can contribute to the hurt.

Anal Sex Can Hurt If You Are Not Lubricated Enough

Relaxing will help ease the initial pain of anal sex, but no amount of relaxation will ease the discomfort if the sphincter muscle isn’t lubricated enough. Spread some lube on your partner’s member or your anal sex toy and a huge dollop on your anal region to make anal sex more pleasurable.

If you’re intent on going for it, ask your partner to gradually loosen the sphincter muscle with gentle stimulation and fondling. He must never touch your sphincter without applying lubricant first. Also, remember to wash well after anal sex.

One major appeal of anal sex for me is the fact that it can be your dirty little secret. It’s extremely exciting to know that you’re both acting like a prim-and-proper, lovey-dovey couple in public, while you’re doing something “taboo” in private.

Q&A: More Anal Sex… How To Clean Up Afterward

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It’s a fact – anal sex can get messy. Whether you ejaculate in the anus during anal sex or not, you’ll still want to clean up afterward. Preventing the spread of bacteria and keeping yourself comfortably clean are important after anal sex. Here’s how you can clean up afterward so you can have fun before!

Question: I know you suggest using condoms for anal sex, and my girlfriend and I take every precaution when we do it. Sometimes we use condoms, but sometimes we don’t. I want to know about ejaculating in her through anal sex.
What are your takes on it? I want to know mainly because while in the heat of the moment things happen. In case it does happen, what are the best ways to go about cleaning up afterward?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2eUy80K3iTQ[/youtube]

Is Semen In The Anus Safe?

If you ejaculate in your partner’s anus during anal sex, you may wonder if it’s safe. As far as pregnancy goes, you can’t impregnante a woman through anal sex so you’re safe there. But having unprotected anal sex at all – ejaculation or no ejaculation – puts you at risk for contracting or spreading sexually transmitted diseases and infections. Anal sex is a bit more risky when it comes to STD’s than traditional vaginal sex because the risk of exposure to blood and other bodily fluids is much higher. Having anal sex with a condom – even with a monogomous partner – is a great way to keep yourself safe from sexually transmitted diseases and infections as well as keep ejaculate from entering the anal cavity during orgasm.

Ejaculating During Anal Sex

When ejaculate enters the anus during anal sex, it leaves the anus the same way it leaves the vagina during vaginal sex – it comes out the same way it comes in. With vaginal sex, however, semen comes out much more quickly and can be cleaned up more easily than with anal sex. Ejaculate doesn’t always come out of the anal cavity right away, and it may come out at inopportune times. Usually, it comes out when you have a bowel movement but can leak out at other times as well. To clean the anal cavity of ejaculate after anal sex, you can pick up an enema kit at your local drugstore to wash the anus clean of semen. Enemas are also an excellent way to get clean before having anal sex, keeping the anal cavity free of fecal matter during sex. If you or your partner prefer to keep semen out of the anal cavity during sex, remember that using a condom is a great way to do that.

Cleaning Up Afterwards

Since anal sex can help spread bacteria that can make you and your partner sick, cleaning up properly afterwards is very important. Clean any anal sex toys used with warm soap and water, or use a special toy cleaner. Wash your hands and your penis thoroughly and have your partner wash her bottom with soap and water as well. Better yet, enjoy a steamy shower with your partner and make cleaning up after anal sex as erotic and pleasurable as anal sex is for you!

The Truth About The Prostate Gland

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You may have heard of a prostate gland, a gland inside a man’s body that is capable of providing him with great pleasure when stimulated, also known as prostate massage or prostate milking. The prostate is hard to get to though – it can sometimes be lightly stimulated by a firm touch underneath a man’s scrotum but usually responds best when stimulated from inside the anus. Do men really like prostate stimulation?

Men Who Love Prostate Stimulation

Some men who enjoy having their prostate gland stimulated during sex say, “Once you try it, you’ll never go back!” Initially, these men may have been a little nervous to try anal play but once they learned how pleasurable it was, it became one of their favorite things in the bedroom. Prostate massage can greatly enhance sexual pleasure and make orgasms more powerful and intense than through penile stimulation alone. Prostate milking can be done alone or in conjunction with oral sex or vaginal sex. Many women truly enjoy stimulating their partner’s prostate gland during sex and prostate massage can help to enhance a dull sex life.

Men Who Hate Prostate Massage

There are some men who have tried prostate stimulation and don’t like it, and many more men that refuse to try it because of the sensitivity of the anus. Some men find any type of anal stimulation uncomfortable or painful and some men simply don’t like the idea of it. With any type of anal play, you definitely take the chance that things will get dirty. Often, men feel embarrassed at the idea of messy anal stimulation and are too uncomfortable to have an enema beforehand. Some men who don’t like the idea of prostate massage can be introduced to it slowly, but many men who are uncomfortable with it are very unwilling to try any anal play at all. Never push the issue with your man – if he doesn’t want to do it, don’t force him and don’t continue to ask him about it. Some men just don’t like it and never will.

How To Introduce It To Your Man

The best way to introduce anal play and prostate stimulation to your partner is to do so very slowly. Talk to your partner first to find out if he is interested in prostate massage and would be willing to try it. If he’s apprehensive, ask him if there is anything you can do to make him more comfortable with the idea. Start small and work your way up, and don’t forget to use lots of water or silicone based lubricant. The anal sphincter does not lubricate itself, so you really can’t use enough lube. Never use a numbing lubricant, because it is important to stop immediately if your partner finds anything painful. You can start with a finger, or a very slim, small toy designed for prostate stimulation. Even small butt plugs may be pleasurable for your partner without causing too much pain or discomfort initially. Remember that any anal sex toy must have a wide base that will not allow it to go all the way in the anal cavity. Toys without a wide base designed for anal play can get lost inside the anal cavity and can cause much damage.

Q&A: What Health Precautions Should Be Taken for Analingus

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In addition to enjoying anal sex, many people enjoy analingus. What exactly is analingus? It is the act of licking your partner’s anus to give them pleasure, and it is also called a rim job or rimming. Common sense tells us that the “back door” isn’t the most clean place on the planet to be putting your mouth, so how can you make it safer and healthier so you can still give your partner pleasure – and recieve pleasure – this way?

Question: What health considerations should be taken for analingus and “oral sex on feet’?

–Dan & Jennifer Forum Question

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mqxEbQC6BU[/youtube]

Cleanliness Is Key

The most important thing with analingus is cleanliness. You just can’t be clean enough! Definitely don’t do it right after your partner has a bowel movement (yuck!) and make sure your partner washes up good down there. Use antibacterial hand soap and hot water if you like, but regular soap works just as well as long as you get your anus or your partner’s anus good and clean. Many people have hair near their anuses that can trap bacteria and matter, and it can either be shaved or waxed for ultra cleanliness and smoothness down there. Bacteria transferred from the anus to the mouth can be dangerous and can make you very, very sick, so it’s important to take proper precautions before engaging in analingus.

Try Using A Barrier

If you or your partner really want to try analingus but are just really freaked out by the idea of putting your tongue down there, a great solution is to use a dental dam or other type of barrier. A dental dam is simply a square piece of latex or other material that goes in between the anus and your mouth. Plastic food wrap works well in a pinch too. This helps prevent bacteria and even matter from getting near your mouth, while still giving your partner the same sensations that analingus would were you not using a dam or barrier. The trick to make this feel extra good is to put a dab or two f good water based or silicone based lubricant in between the anus and the barrier to allow for more freedom of movement and titillating sensations.

Oral Sex On Feet

Some foot lovers enjoy licking or sucking their partner’s feet or toes, and many people enjoy the sensations of having their toes and feet licked and sucked. This is a dirty job too, however, not as dangerous as analingus can be if you’re not clean. Of course, a good, clean foot is better than one just out of a sweaty sock. Have your partner go for a pedicure to remove all the dead skin and calluses (and cute, painted toenails are always sexy!) and have them wash their feet well with hot, soapy water before putting your mouth on them. Generally, these are all the health precautions you need to take here, but you can use a dental dam or plastic food wrap if you really hate the idea of putting your tongue and mouth on someone’s feet. Just remember – a dab of lube under the dam or wrap does wonders!

Q&A: Anal Sex – How To Keep It Clean And Safe

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Anal sex can be great fun, if you take care in doing it properly.  On the other hand, anal sex can cause a lot of pain, discomfort and a big mess if you’re not careful! Does that mean that you shouldn’t have anal sex if it’s something you enjoy? Not necessarily. Here’s a few tips on how to keep anal sex clean and safe.

Question: My boyfriend really wants to do anal, and I do too, but honestly I’m afraid that he might get something on his penis. Could you please tell me what I can do for that not to happen, because I really want to do it for him.

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8kl_J8wVRU[/youtube]

Keeping The Pipes Clean

Well, it has to be said that if you “play in the mud, you might get dirty.” If you have anal sex with your partner, he may end up getting some fecal matter on his penis, regardless of what you do to keep that from happening. You may end up having looser bowel movements or mild incontinence after having anal sex as well, so it may not just get on his penis. There are a few things you can do to minimize the risk of playing dirty, but you can’t eliminate. It’s just what the anus is for.

  • Eat a healthy diet with lots of fiber. Fiber is in lots of good vegetables, like broccoli, and can be found in a variety of other healthy foods. You can also use fiber supplements such as Metamucil. Fiber will help give you regular bowel movements, so nothing stays in one place too long.
  • Try an enema. You see porn stars having anal sex all the time, and unless it’s a fetish video, things stay pretty clean, right? That’s generally because they have enemas on a regular basis to “clean out the pipes.” An enema will remove most of the fecal matter from your intestines before you have anal sex. This is likely the best way to ensure that little to no matter ends up on your partner’s penis.
  • Have your partner wear a condom. Nothing will actually get on his penis, persay….
  • Realize that the anus is used for excrement – it’s a fact of life. If your partner would be totally grossed out by having a bit of fecal matter on his penis after anal sex, maybe anal sex just isn’t for him.

Keeping It Comfortable And Safe

Anal sex can be uncomfortable, especially if you don’t use enough good, water or silicone based lube. Don’t be shy on the lube, and remember to go slow. Never use desensitizing lubricant, because if it starts to hurt, you need to stop. Things can get torn back there, and spending the night in the emergency room for stitches in your back door is not fun. Don’t let your partner play rough back there. If you want rough sex, have vaginal sex. The anus is not the place to see how hard you can take it. Keep things clean by washing your hands, washing any anal sex toys you play with and never, ever insert the penis into the vagina after it has been in the anus without removing the condom and washing it thoroughly with soap and water first. If you use toys, stay with small toys that are designed with a wide base. The anus can stretch and sometimes doesn’t go back to the same size it was before if you stretch it too much. Incontinence anyone? When you respect anal sex for what it can be – extremely pleasurable for some people but also dangerous if you’re not careful – you can have fun without most of the mess and without pain and damage in the long run.