Sex Tips & Advice

Better Orgasm 101

As with most anything in life, there is a learning curve one must round before attaining the proficiency and skill to succeed. Sex is no different. Were we women born to immediately know how to achieve orgasm? I think not.

It may be easier for some women solely due to chemical makeup. But the majority of us – 70% according to statistics – require active clitoral stimulation before we can achieve orgasm. The good part is that we can learn a method that will allow us to increase our sexual responsiveness during intercourse and experience climax through the act of intercourse.

Consider yourself enrolled in Better Orgasm 101. We will learn the three steps in a plan to lead you in the right direction.

Clitoral Stimulation

In the first part of your new program, you or your partner will stimulate your clitoris as you are making love. During intercourse, if the motions are distracting to you and prevent you from reaching climax, simply have your partner insert his erect penis into your vagina without movement. During this still period of intercourse, manually stimulate your clitoris until you reach orgasm. Once this is successful, have your partner get moving.

The second phase teaches you to rely less on your manual clitoral stimulation. Gradually stop touching your clitoris a certain time period before your reach climax. You will begin to let the thrusting motions of your partner propel you into orgasm. At first, the time period between ceasing clitoral stimulation and orgasm will be short.

In the third phase, you will begin to increase the amount of time between the end of clitoral stimulation and climax.

You graduate to the next level only when you have successfully passed the test of achieving orgasm through the previous level of non-clitoral stimulation. During any of these phases, you may take as long as you like to complete and pass them. There is absolutely no pressure to move at a fast clip.

Fantasizing

In fact, the psychological aspects of this process definitely need to be mentioned. Our bodies do not exist without our minds. The mind-body connection is a powerful connection that we need to learn to use to our benefit.

When practicing the phases, begin to use your mind to fantasize. It’s one hundred percent OK to do this. To enhance your sexual pleasure, fill your mind with an erotic image that you find very stimulating. This one action alone may be the trigger that sends you directly into orgasm.

It is also important to realize that you need to be in a relaxed state of mind and body when seeking the ultimate sexual pleasure. Shed any inhibitions or old-fashioned notions of what you were always taught that sex should be. Make the sex your own. Slip into a sexy negligee and feel good about yourself. Look at your reflection in the mirror and praise the way you look. Love yourself and let your partner love you.

Enjoy Different Positions

Old-fashioned notions of sex, for the most part, prevent a woman from fully enjoying her sexual experiences. You do not have to always position yourself on the bottom. You are free to get on top, lie side by side, sit down, stand up, or bend over. You are free to experiment with the things you enjoy. Try one of my favorite moves: rub your clitoris on your partner’s pubic bone when he is inside of you. This feels wonderful.

There is NOT one position or one range of motion. If you do not move your pelvis in a manner that sexually pleases you, you are forgoing a great amount of sexual pleasure. So get moving … move your hips side to side, in and out, all around. Make circles, make squares, whatever you feel.

Exercising Your Sex Muscles

As part of this sexercise program, you should also begin toning and strengthening your PC muscle – the muscle that contracts during climax. This is the same muscle that you would use to cease the stream of urine. Start by contracting this muscle in sets of 25 two times per day. Work your way up to sets of 100 twice daily.

Just as regular exercise in a gym promotes a healthy body and lifestyle, exercising our sexual muscles promotes a healthy sex life. Most women who strengthen and tone their PC muscle have an easier time of achieving orgasm through intercourse.

Research suggests that sexually active women achieve orgasm much easier than women who do not engage in sexual intercourse on a regular basis. Sexually active women love their sexuality.

With all of the practice in which you are about to engage, you will be passing all three quizzes linked to the three-part plan will flying colors. The final exam is scheduled at your convenience. Remember that the real test simply proves that you can relax and really enjoy your sexual encounters. The real test is all about increasing your responsiveness to intercourse.

3 Reasons Women HATE Giving A Blowjob

By michaelfiore

A blowjob is something that men cannot possibly understand. Here is exactly why women really hate giving them and how to overcome the hurdles for a fulfilling relationship.

1. She thinks “It’s Degrading To Women.”

It seems a little old fashioned to me, but a lot of women still think that giving you a blowjob is degrading to women. Due to cultural stereotypes, things they’ve seen in porn or feminist theory, they see fellatio as a way for men to show their domination and power over women.

And you know what? To some degree they’re right. Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m not supposed to say that, but on a deep and primal level getting a blowjob (or GIVING a blowjob) is about power, connection, service and submission. It’s about one person doing everything they can to make another person feel good. And done right it can be a hell of a boost to the ego of both people in the equation.

This might sound unbelievable depending on how often you get oral sex, but a lot of women actually LIKE the submissive aspect of giving blowjobs (more than you’d probably think.) And I don’t know about you, but I definitely DO feel powerful and virile and just plain GOOD when my girlfriend is going down on me.

I mean, there’s a reason we guys LOVE getting blow jobs in the first place and it’s not all physical. There’s a damned good mix of power and fantasy mixed in there as well. So while I agree that a first blowjob really can be about power (both your power over her and her power over you) I totally reject the idea that a blowjob is “degrading” to women.

When we get to the “step by step” part of this manual I’m going to show you how to “flip the switch” on how your woman thinks about blow jobs so instead of seeing it as something “degrading” and “humiliating” she sees it as a way of exerting her sexual power over you.

For now, I want you to do two things:

Accept the fact that getting a blowjob is about more than just physical pleasure for you. Deep down in your subconscious there’s a part of you that gets off on having a woman “worship” your penis and be completely dedicated to your pleasure. And you know what? That’s just fine. I’ll tell you right now, if you’re in any way “ashamed” about your desire for a blow job it’s going to be a lot harder to make this work.

So just accept it. You want a hummer. In fact, you want a great, eager, fun, toe curling hummer. It’s cool.

Stop thinking of a fellatio as something she “does for you” and start thinking of it as something you can SHARE together. We’ll get more into this later, but on a conscious level I need you to start seeing blow jobs as a POSITIVE thing that you and your woman can do together that you BOTH should enjoy.

2. She Thinks It’s “Dirty Down There.”

A lot of women don’t like giving oral sex because they think guys are dirty, disgusting pigs. And they’ve kind of got a point. If you haven’t taken a shower in two weeks, are wearing the same underwear you had on during the Bush presidency and think soap is “some kind of commie plot against masculinity.”

Well, there ain’t no way you’re getting head. Listen: In this manual I’m going to teach you EXACTLY how to get your woman to LOOK forward to giving you head and ENJOY it as much as you do. But if you don’t do some “basic maintenance” first the whole thing is going to blow up in your face.

So here’s some basic stuff you need to do:

TAKE A SHOWER. Seriously, dude. Get in there with REAL soap and clean up the whole area. Spend some time on it and make your whole undercarriage (balls, cock, ass) as spotless as humanly possible. Use some scented soap (something girly) so she can tell you actually cleaned up. (Women have MUCH more sensitive senses of smell than guys do.)

Mow the lawn. OK, I’m a big hairy guy (my ethnic background is French, Italian and Lebanese. I get hairier by the minute) so this is actually a sensitive subject for me. But I’m going to tell you right now your chances of getting a GREAT orgasm on a REGULAR basis go WAY up when you get in there with some clippers and clear out the underbrush. I mean, how the heck can she suck your penis if she can’t find the damn thing?

Be “Conspicuously Clean” And Let Her Know It OK, this is subtle but important. Make sure she KNOWS that you’ve cleaned up. Next time you’re planning on getting amorous with your lady (or before you play the “games” I teach you in the next section) do what girls do and “go freshen up.”

3. The Gag Reflex (She Chokes)

OK guys, good news and bad news. The good news is that most women really can learn to deep throat over time (and it feels great.) The bad news is that the odds are your wife is NOT Linda Lovelace.

Do me a quick favor:
Take your index finger . . .
Shove it down your throat as far as possible.
See what happens (You probably GAG and feel that vomit reflex.)

Was that PLEASANT?
Was that something you LIKED?
Of course not.

And unless your woman is an “old pro” at giving head or a genetic freak with no gag reflex, she doesn’t like it either. Most women I know HATED giving head the first couple times they did it because the guy they were with grabbed her head and made her choke. And weirdly enough that traumatic event really colored the experience for her and made it something she didn’t want to do again.

3 Tips To Warm Up Your Man For Sex

By jessicaperez

If you have been trying hard to “ignite” a man’s passion because you are eager to take the next step, or because you are very much into him, you are probably secretly dreading that he will remain lukewarm towards you and your efforts will amount to nothing.

What you need to know is that there are certain ways to make a man fall in love with you romantically and sexually. Some women have not figured out what it takes to turn the “sensual switch” on inside a man’s brain, and it is because these women do not fully understand what it is that arouses a man’s sense of passion and imagination.

Sexual Innuendo

Straightforward talk will not make your man ignite. Sensual talk, or that kind of conversation that involves all his senses, will arouse him more. What do I mean with sensual talk? It means you describe something rather than tell him directly.

For instance, you mail him while he is at work on a Friday and you talk about finding your old cheerleader outfit in one of the attic boxes you have been cleaning. Instead of saying you will wear the outfit that night, describe how skimpy the skirt is, and how the buttons on the blouse almost don’t close because your breasts have grown.

Sexual innuendo will fire up his imagination and get him thinking about you doing it with him.

Your “Other Side”

If you just started a relationship with a guy, or you’re in your first months of being husband and wife, you can pull this strategy off nicely. Casually ask your man about his first impression of you. Depending on his response, say something like “yeah, that’s the usual first impression. But there’s a quirk to my personality that you haven’t seen yet…”

Being mysterious even to a guy you’ve known forever will make him feel excited. He won’t know what to expect. He will be mystified and curious, so you’d better prepare a nice surprise. If you’re usually prim and proper, act like a harlot in bed that night. If you’re usually passionate and fiery, act like a blushing virgin.

Give Him A Blowjob

Blowjob, by definition, means taking him in your mouth. But did you know that for a guy, this definition has another clause attached to it? The truth is, a blowjob isn’t considered relevant unless you do it for more than thirty seconds. If all you ever do is quickly take him inside your mouth and bob your head a few times, I’m sorry to tell you but that’s not blowing him at all.

If you can prove to your man that you know how to please him, you won’t even need to warm him up. As soon as you give him the eye, he will come scampering to your side because he knows that sex will always be good with you.

4 Ways To Get A Blowjob WITHOUT Asking

By michaelfiore

A blowjob can be a fun thing for you and your wife or girlfriend. A lot of guys think that this is something the girl does for them after asking or begging, but there are simple ways that you can turn this activity into something you get on a regular basis. Here are a couple of basic rules and things you need to internalize in order to make this “blowjob” thing start to happen in your life.

1. Change Your Thinking

You need to permanently change your thinking around oral sex. Weirdly enough, if you want to get more head in your life you need to treat blowjobs as “no big deal.” If getting a blowjob is the “be all, end all” of your sexuality then it becomes too much pressure for her. If it’s “just something fun you guys can do” it’s more likely to happen and happen often.

2. Don’t Beg – EVER

Most women want their man to be the dominant but respectful one in the sexual relationship. That means you CAN NOT BE ASHAMED OF YOUR DESIRES. If you ever act embarrassed by something you want sexually your odds of getting it go WAY down. Whether you want her to go down on you or put on a sexy clown costume and juggle your balls, you need to OWN your desire and have confidence about it. This can be hard to pull off, but it’s incredibly important.

3. Don’t Be Misogynistic

This whole method is based around loving and respecting women. In my own life I’ve discovered that the more I respect and adore women the dirtier, sexier and weirder things they’ve been willing to do with me. Even if you really want to be dominant with a woman, the best way to get there is to have a sincere desire to give her pleasure and to have FUN with her.

4. Make It About BOTH Of You

You need to start thinking of blowjobs as “something you guys SHARE” instead of something she does for you. This is a really important distinction. Once you internalize this concept you’ll both start having a lot more fun with your sexual fantasies. It’s got to be fun for both of you.

9 Smokin’ Hot Handjob Techniques

By loveandsex

A great handjob or blowjob has three elements. Its WET, its WARM and it has good suction/friction.

When beginning a genital massage it is typically best to start with lighter, irregular strokes – like teasing. Do a wide variety to touches and strokes early on. Be quite playful. As you go further and further into the genital massage, stick with two or three main strokes that your partner really enjoys but do mix them up until you are ready for the big finale.

Eventually you will want to develop a good rhythm that your partner can get into – that is the key to bringing your partner to orgasm with a genital massage. When your partner is arriving at an orgasm, it is very important that you don’t vary your technique at all! Moving even slightly into a different hand position can bring your partner back down from the brink and cause you to have to start bringing him back up again. If your partner is close to having an orgasm, the same stroke over and over will push him over the edge! You know how it works with rubbing your clitoris! Not much difference here.

1. Use More Lube Than You Think You Need

Use an excessive amount of lube if you know he can get cleaned up afterwards. If you are at his office in the high rise you can’t be quite as liberal with the slick stuff. Lots of lube will give him a super-sexy, ultra-slippery feeling all over his scrotum, penis and perineum. You can probably never use too much lube, the slicker the better.

2. Tickle Him First

Begin by just using the tips of your fingers. Let them float all around your partner’s penis, pressing lightly and then moving into a firmer press.

3. Use Your Palms

Roll the shaft of his penis in between your palms. You can do this lightly or harder if your partner likes more stimulation. Some guys like it if you shake his member gently and then toss it back and forth between your hands (open-palmed). Obviously you do that more when it is still a bit soft.

4. Stroke With Both Hands

Take one hand and wrap it around his shaft, pulling towards the head. As you’re finishing the stroke with that hand, begin a new stroke with the other hand. Be careful not to pull too hard, however, because anything more than a gentle to a medium pull can give your partner the uncomfortable sensation that he is being “milked” or that you are rubbing his skin raw.

5. The Big “O”

Do a reverse of the technique above. Make an “O” with your hand and put it on the top of his penis and push it down so the head pokes through. As you are moving your hand down take your other hand and do that same. Then take the bottom hand and move it on top. Do this in smooth succession like he is entering an endless vagina.

6. Stimulate His Head

Hold the base of the shaft firmly with one hand while rubbing your palm on the head. This traps blood at the head, making it more sensitive to whatever you’re stroke you’re using on the head.

7. Twist It Up

Give a long stroke from the base all the way to the tip of the head in a twisting motion. You can twist up the entire penis or save the twisting until you reach the head for a varied effect. Put both hands on your partner’s member, one at the base and the other at the head. Use the above technique, but twist with both hands at the same time. You can also twist in different directions to spice up the move.

8. Different Strokes For Different Folks

Try using different strokes with your partner’s shaft pointed in different directions. This causes blood to flow in different areas, making him more sensitive to your movements.

9. Give Him A Ring

Make your thumb and forefinger form a ring around the base of your partner’s penis. Move this ring up and down the shaft in long strokes. You can do this gently or in a more firm fashion depending on the stage of genital massage your partner is in.