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Swinger Sex Partners: Should We Try a Threesome or a Foursome?

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Some couples are much more sexually curious and adventurous than others.

These are the swingers and other sexually liberated souls seeking threesomes and more, together with their life partner.

While many have fights and arguments due to petty jealousy, others actually open their sex lives to others. They share and enjoy these experiences together, and amazingly enough, these experiences often bring a couple much closer together.

Today’s question is from a couple in New York ready to try their first threesome, or even a foursome.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My girlfriend and I want to try a threesome or foursome. I agree with this, but I just want to know which one is least likely to cause me problem in my relationship?

— Jose in New York

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5nGemX3a3k[/youtube]The mass media often portrays swingers as very risque and living a dangerous, risky life – but the fact is most swingers are much more cautions about safety and safe sex than their single counterparts. After all, these are generally couples playing together, so you have someone on your side planning with you at all times – you’re not winging it as you often do (and did) in the singles scene.

While these relationships can sometimes develop into polyamory, often times swingers just live the lifestyle and enjoy playing with their friends.

But of course the jealousy monster can always rear its ugly head, so always prepare and plan ahead before venturing into uncharted waters in search of new sex partners. There are rules and boundaries you must agree on with your partner ahead of time – no exceptions.

Also there are some great resources below to help you make the most of your new experience and avoid the common pitfalls that can lead to relationship disaster and, yes, break up.

  1. Check out the largest swinger and sex personals dating site and find sex partners in your area today. They have millions of active members online, and 30,000 new photos uploaded daily.
  2. 500 Sex Tips and Love Making Secrets That Everyone Ought to Know

BUSTED! Our Kids Found Out We’re Swingers. Now What?

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So you and your wife have a great relationship and an excellent sex life. You’ve recently discovered the swinger lifestyle, and you’re now both card carrying swingers. Life is great and you’re very happy with your lifestyle and your choices.

But then your family finds out about your swinging adventures, and they start giving you a hard time about it. More importantly, they demand that you just stop swinging because they don’t think it’s right.

How they found out isn’t really important, unless of course you bumped into each other at the same swinger club or adult dating site. 🙂

But here’s the real question. Is your sex life really anyone’s business but your own?

Should you start taking votes from your family on what sexual activities, and maybe even what sexual positions, are acceptable to them?

Today’s question is from a swinging couple in this very predicament.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

We are in our 50s and have been swinging for 3 years. Our adult kids have found out what we are doing and are very upset about it. Do we quit swinging for them, or live our lives like we want to?

— Wayne, New Mexico

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ey5WsAKV7DE[/youtube]

Female Orgasm and Oral Sex? What’s a Girlfriend to do?

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OK, so you’re in a great relationship and the sex is great too…

Except for the fact that there are one or two sexual positions or techniques that you just can’t seem to get ‘right’.  Is it really important to be able to have an orgasm in certain positions or while performing certain acts such as oral sex?

That’s what today’s question is all about…

Dear Dan and Jennifer.

Hi, I am 20 years old and my boyfriend is 21.  We’ve been having sex for almost a year now.  We have GREAT sex.  He’s given me multiple orgasms during intercourse.

There’s just one thing he has never been able to get me to orgasm on and that is when he gives me oral sex.  We’ve tried many things like whipped cream, hot chocolate, and ice.

I feel bad because he thinks that he’s just not doing it good enough to please me.  I don’t know what to do because he’ll ask me what I like and I really don’t like it that much. I don’t masturbate so I really don’t know what I like.  I have tried it but it’s just something I really don’t do.

Is there something wrong with me that I just can’t get an orgasm from oral sex.  Or are there some things or techniques you could advise me to try out with him.  I just don’t know what to do anymore and I could use some advice.

Thank you,
Amy

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ay45L_aHIAg[/youtube]

Here’s a resource we recommend for helping women achieve orgasm every time:

Swinging vs. Polyamory – Am I Wrong to Want One Without the Other?

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So you’ve been enjoying the swinging lifestyle for a few years, and are having a blast.

But what if it starts growing into more than just sex with friends – or friends with benefits?

What if your husband or wife starts developing romantic (a.k.a. love) feelings for your playmates?

Dare we call it polyamory?
 

 

"Polyamory is the practice of having more than one loving relationship at the same time, with the full knowledge and consent of all partners involved. The relationships are long-term, intimate, and usually (but not necessarily) sexual. Persons who consider themselves emotionally suited to such relationships may define themselves as polyamorous, often abbreviated to poly."
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyamory

"Swinging, sometimes referred to in North America as the swinging lifestyle, is non-monogamous sexual activity, treated much like any other social activity, that can be experienced as a couple.  Swinging has been called wife swapping in the past, but this term is archaic and does not accurately describe the full range of sexual activities in which swingers may take part."

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swinging

And what happens when the jealousy beast rears it’s ugly head. Admittedly swingers (and certainly those into polyamory) are not nearly as apt to fits of jealousy as some monogamous couples, but it’s been known to happen…

What happens when one partner wants a polyamorous relationship and the other one doesn’t? Is it wrong to want one without the other?

No, it’s absolutely not wrong. What you want is what you want. What you feel and what you want is what’s right for you and for your life. Period.

The swinging lifestyle is typically about sex!

You get together, you play, and then you go home. That’s kind of what it’s about. But Polyamory takes it to a new level and, what I would consider, a much more enlightened level where you are actually in love relationships with multiple partners. It’s a true and total sharing of one another and not many couples (or individuals) are able to do that.

It all comes down to communication.

It’s critical to ask your partner how they feel and to share your feelings. The absolute worst thing that you can do is to hold your feelings inside – what you really want – because you’re afraid your partner may not understand. You have to talk about what you both want from the relationship and what boundaries you’re comfortable with. And in some circumstances, you may find out that you want different things. If this is the case, you’ll have to decide if you are willing to compromise or go your separate ways. 

Jealousy

The biggest reason why many people feel uncomfortable in a Swinging or Polyamorous relationship is "jealousy". It’s one of the biggest emotional issues that all couples face. And when you start bringing other people into your bedroom, you simply cannot let jealousy sneak into the picture because it will tear your relationship apart.

So you have to find ways to make each other feel really special and absolutely certain about where you stand in your own relationship before sharing intimate fun with others.

That’s the biggest thing in the end. Talk! Share your feelings!

Oh, and if you think swinging or polyamory are a rare occurrence in our society, think again!

Check out this survey that over 4,000 of our readers took – Sex Poll: Would You Consider Swinging or Polyamory? The results will certainly surprise you. 

Can She Get Pregnant If We Take a Hot Steamy Bath Together?

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Pregnancy Myth vs. Fact

Can she get pregnant while taking a hot, steamy bath together, even if we have swimsuits on?

The short answer to this question is "NO". There are many myths out there about what will and will not cause a woman to get pregnant. These myths are even more prominent in some of the more conservative religious family cultures because sex is simply not talked about in the home, so the kids grow up believing all kinds of myths and and tall tales about sex. It’s such a mystery to them…

In this case, sperm do not live very long outside of the body and when you throw in the chlorine from the bath, the little guys just don’t have a chance. Barring some type of immaculate conception, it’s very, very unlikely that a woman could get pregnant this way.

But don’t get too smug just yet, she COULD still get pregnant…

The Real Question About Sex, Pregnancy, and a "Hot Bath"

Here is a very interesting twist on this topic. If a couple is taking a hot bath together, are they sitting at opposite corners of this bath tub? Are they six feet away from one another? Are they waving at each other and having to yell across the pool to hear each other?

No? So then, what ARE are they doing exactly? Is there any alcohol involved?

In these situations proximity leads to more proximity… and that often leads to what we call "slippage". 🙂 Couples can get lost in the heat of the moment and before you know it – "Whoops!"

So the real question is: "What are they really doing in the steamy, hot tub together?"

Taking a bath is highly unlikely. They are more likely pursuing mild, pseudo-sexual relations but are afraid to call it sex because of whatever silly taboo or maybe just a little shyness. So what can you do?

Call it what it is and take the appropriate precautions. Wear a condom if you really, really want to be safe.

Safe Sex Recommended Reading

If you really want to get a better understanding about sex, and especially safe sex, here are a couple of books that will get you started on the right path.

The first one is the Complete Idiot’s Guide to Amazing Sex. Whenever you want to learn a new topic, the Idiot’s Guide and even the For Dummies series are great because they cover so many aspects of the subject very thoroughly. They’re also generally very well written and easy to read.

Another book which is a very well illustrated and also very tastefully done is the Sexopedia by Anne Hooper.

If your parents didn’t bother talking to you about sex, like most parents don’t, go grab these two books and you will better informed. It’s a much better idea than getting this info from your buddies and flying blind…

Sex is a natural and beautiful part of life, but it’s also a very serious topic. What you don’t know about sex CAN hurt you. If you’re going to partake in it (even if you don’t quite call it "sex"), get educated and be smart about it.