Sex Tips & Advice

Best Kink, Fetishes & BDSM Articles Of 2011

Kink, BDSM and fetishes are becoming more popular as people are indulging their “dark sides.” More and more couples are looking to kinky sex in an effort to spice up their sex lives, while other players are simply seasoned lovers of BDSM and kink. Check out our favorite naughty articles of the year and have fun trying out all the tips!

Don’t miss out on our all time, most popular BDSM, kink and fetish articles!

We’ve also had a lot of fun this year trying out different sex toys – we’ve been reviewing them so we can give you the lowdown on what toys are super hot and which ones are definitely not. Take a few minutes to check out our favorites for bondage, domination or just plain kinky sex!

Under The Bed Restraint System (our personal favorite for beginner’s bondage play!)
The Rhino Penis Extension & Sexual Solution (Great if she likes that “full” feeling, or deep and hard penetration)
Petite Vibrating Nipple Teasers (these warm up and vibrate, but are made for small nipples – also can be used for the clitoris!)

How To Give a Woman The Best Sex EVER!

By lloydlester

Sex tips aren’t something you want to just brush aside – they can really help you up your game! Use these sex tips to satisfy your lover like never before!

Did you know why most guys fail so miserably in the bedroom? And why so many women end up walking out on their boyfriends and husbands when sex becomes so unfulfilling for them?

The Paradox Of Man’s Greatest Strength

Most men are focused on results. We are by nature very action-oriented. Results are what we care about; the end goal, so to speak. We set targets in the boardroom and get things done. Sadly the same mentality carries over to the bedroom:

undressing yourself and her
begin intercourse
reach an orgasm (you, NOT her)
end of sex

So where does this perpetual male strategy leave a woman? Empty, unfulfilled, disappointed. You see, for women, sex is not so much about the end goal per se. They really care more about the journey; how you arrive at the end goal. Women love to savor the sexual experience moment-by-moment, from foreplay all the way to intercourse.

Start Living For The Moment, Guys!

Goals are meant for the boardroom, so leave it at that! When it comes to great sex, take it SLOW. Don’t use sex as a means to an end. Instead be a man who plans for the future BUT also live for the moment. Be a man who starts a night of lovemaking without considering his own orgasm, but focus on securing a body-shaking climax for his lady. This is the type of men women would gladly die for.

Now achieving that kind of body-shaking, wild-screaming orgasms that most women crave for, will depend on how you build up the sexual tension. Savor each stage of lovemaking as if each phase can bring her to an orgasm (indeed it can!). Raw, passionate kissing that sets free a woman’s sexual inhibitions can bring her right to the edge of a climax. And so can the great prelude to intercourse – foreplay. Even a good dose of oral sex can give her mind-boggling orgasms that leave her breathless.

The key is to live for the moment and don’t let your focus waver away from her. Believe me, when you are able to do this, you will enjoy sex for its full glory and splendor, just like how a woman enjoys it. And when you finally reach your own orgasm, it will be more mind-blowing than anything else you have experienced before!

I’m A Girl But….Did I Just Ejaculate? 5 Ways To Tell If You Squirted During Sex

By loveandsex

Female ejaculation happens, but it may come as a surprise to many women. Not every woman is aware that they can ejaculate and many women have never experienced it before. The first time you have female ejaculation, you may be left sitting in the soaked bedsheets wondering what the heck happened. How can you tell if you just squirted?

1. You Peed Right Before Sex

This is actually the best way to tell if the fluid you expelled during sex was actually urine or ejaculate. Since the fluids are fairly similar in consistency (ejaculate can be thinner than urine, but sometimes it is just as watery), it’s hard to judge whether you peed or squirted by going on the consistency alone. If you urinated right before sex though, you can be almost positive that any fluid you expel during sex is ejaculate, unless the sex has lasted hours.

For example, if you ejaculate during sex about fifteen to twenty minutes after you used the bathroom, it’s not urine. Your body doesn’t have enough time to make that much urine in that small amount of time, unless you drank a gallon of water before you started having sex. So if you want to be sure the next time you soak the sheets that you haven’t just pissed the bed, cut down on your water intake a few hours before you plan to have sex (make sure you drink all the water you need before that – don’t dehydrate yourself!) Then, urinate right before you get it on. If you still gush, it’s a squirting orgasm.

2. It Came Out On Its Own

Sometimes, when a woman doesn’t know she can ejaculate, the fluid will come out on its own during involuntary muscular contractions when you have an orgasm. It may feel like you need to pee when you ejaculate (hence all the confusion on whether the liquid really is urine or ejaculate), and if you bear down and flex your muscles, you can push the ejaculate out. This is what seasoned squirters do. However, many women who have never experienced female ejaculation aren’t aware of this. So when the muscles contract involuntarily during orgasm, the ejaculate may seem to come out on it’s own. It can be a few drops or even a cup full of liquid, and it can either leak out or squirt in a huge gush.

3. It Doesn’t Smell “Too Much” Like Pee

If it’s not urine, then it won’t smell a whole lot like urine. Really, the only exception to this rule is if you drink A LOT of water and your urine is almost always clear anyways (or you drank a lot of water right before sex for some odd reason). Since female ejaculate does come out of the urethra, it may mix with a little bit of urine that was left over – so if it has a “light” urine odor, don’t be too alarmed. If it really smells like pee, it was pee. If it doesn’t and you haven’t drank your weight in water, then congratulations – you’ve just experienced female ejaculation.

4. Your G-Spot Was Being Stimulated

Often, the g-spot needs to be stimulated firmly (very firmly) in order for a woman to achieve female ejaculation. Light tickling or barely touching the g-spot isn’t going to produce female ejaculation. It takes a surprisingly firm touch to stimulate the g-spot to the point of female ejaculation, and the woman usually has been really aroused first too. So if you or your partner engaged in a lot of foreplay, you’re super turned on and your g-spot was really getting massaged right before your gushing orgasm, then you can be pretty sure you just squirted.

5. Your Orgasm Was Killer

A squirting orgasm is intense. REALLY INTENSE. Many women who can’t squirt cannot do so simply because they have the inability to really “let go,” which is necessary to experience female ejaculation. If you’ve been consumed by the moment, maybe forgot where you are (or heaven forbid who you’re with), and just totally let go during your orgasm and expelled a ton of liquid, then you can be pretty sure you actually squirted instead of peed. If your orgasm was AH-MAZING and you’re totally and completely exhausted afterwards (and are so sensitive down there that you couldn’t even stand it if your man lightly blew air on your clitoris) then yes, you squirted.

Do NOT Make These 4 Sex Mistakes!

By loveandsex

Sex tips can help you avoid leading your sex life into a rut. Pay attention to these sex tips and DON’T make these bedroom faux pas!

It will come as a shock for those who think that it’s the guys who are willing to move heaven and earth just so women consider kinky stuff. Apparently, women believe guys are too boxed and set in their ways. Bedroom events have become fairly standard, easily predictable and therefore boring. It’s the same old stuff!

1. Always Doing The Same Thing

This ‘same old stuff’ happens to be the “foreplay, then penetration, then ejaculation” sequence – which has been regarded by many as the divine definition of sex. For most, this has been the way to go…the only way to go. It’s been so ingrained in the way we operate we don’t even notice. And if you’re thinking, “Well, because it’s just the way things are!” You are also not alone in that thought.

But FPE is just one of the ways. There’s clearly nothing wrong with it, but it’s not the only recipe for bliss. For example, you can leave out 1 element in the sequence and still have an awesome time. You can skip foreplay, for example, and still have great sex (uhhh, Quickies hello!) You also don’t need to penetrate every time, because sometimes, getting head is enough. And ejaculation doesn’t signal any end, you can treat it as if nothing happened.

2. It’s No Fun

Did you know that sex can be spontaneous, festive and FUN?

I bet you know that already. Still, many act as if they’re apprenticing to become masters of bedroom boredom. They get serious, silent and so intent on cashing-in those orgasms.

But when you really think about it, when it comes to sex, WOMEN SIMPLY WANT TO HAVE A GOOD TIME. Girls just want to have fun. That’s what it all boils down to.

As an avenue for good time and feeling good, sex need not be raw all the time, it need not be serious or heavy. You can be highly playful, allow your imagination to have a field day and have lots of laughter with your partner.

Sex is not a dead-end job, so quit being grave and bring that FUN FACTOR into bed. Bring a whole lot of horny, but don’t forget to bring a whole lot of fun.

3. It’s Too Impersonal

The You Factor – let it shine – that’s what makes sex with you unique.

It’s your distinguishing mark.

Bring in those emotions, sense of humor, sense of adventure, yes, even naivete. Don’t leave that guy out – he was fun! Your personality is one of the most compelling excuse she’s in bed with you (besides the fact that she’s married to you). Don’t fool yourself, you’re not that hot.

Sex needs a personal touch. Unfortunately, many guys have unconsciously objectified their partners and have depersonalized sex as a series of EVENTS. Women on the other hand focus on the PERSON. Can you sense the dissonance of genders here? Women focus on the person, men see the object and the event.

4. Doing It With A “Thing”

Is intercourse with a SEX OBJECT different? Does calling her ‘a piece of ass,’ ‘a piece of meat’ or reducing her to a cup size or a hair color, affect the resulting sex?

You bet it does, every last bit of it! For it clearly matters if you think your partner is a woman or a masturbation sleeve.

People don’t give squat about objects, we USE them, and their sole purpose is to delight our erotic whims. We don’t care about feelings, because objects don’t have feelings. It won’t matter if we serve them a lifetime supply of lame sex – they’re objects!

There is another PERSON (not thing) in the sexual act. It is very, very important that you treat the body next to you as a person and avoid treating a woman like a “thing.” Well, not because you’re a gentleman – not really. This is more for your sake than hers.

5 Signs He Only Wants A One Night Stand

By serenapaige

A one night stand can be fun, but only if you’re in on it and okay with it. Here are 5 indicators he might only want a one night stand, so you can steer clear.

A one-night stand can be one of the biggest mistakes for a woman’s life. Let’s face it. Some men will do anything to get into a girl’s pants. If a fella has ever played you, you know how stupid you can feel afterward. Being able to tell if a guy is looking for a one-night stand or a real relationship is a huge asset for the nightlife scene in your area. There are several indicators that you can take into account when determining whether or he wants a one-night stand. Here is a guide to keep the creeps away.

1. He Buys You Drinks…A Lot Of Drinks

A date that is only looking for a one stand is going to buy you a lot of drinks. He will probably be drinking a lot also so this is something that you will need to look out for. Men that buy a lot of drinks for women are trying to get them loose and ready for whatever. The release of inhibitions associated with alcohol is a staple among one night stands. Refuse the drinks that he is offering your and see what he says. If he starts teasing you about being a lightweight, he probably just wants a one night stand. If he lets up and doesn’t push the drinks on you, he might be looking for a more serious relationship.

2. The Conversation Always Comes Back To The Same Thing

When you’re talking to a guy he should be telling you about himself. This could include what he does, what he likes, if he’s there with friends or where he went to school. Men that want one night stands typically sexualize the situation right off the bat. If you are talking and he keeps coming back to his car, his condo, his job title or any other phallic metaphor it’s probably best to leave the situation as is. Any fella that mentions sex within the first 20 minutes of meeting him is not looking for a serious relationship.

3. He’s Trying To “Bounce” You

Women tend to stay in packs. If you are out with a bunch of girlfriends and a potential date tries to get you away from them, he’s looking for a one-night stand. Here’s the reasoning. Women don’t want to be judged by their friends. A girl that goes to another club or a different bar with a guy they just met is less of an offense than a girl that goes home with a guy right in front of their friends. Men know this so they try to separate the girl from her friends.

When the two of you walk into a new bar or club together everybody will think that you’re a couple. This eliminates the chances of another guy hitting on you, leaving you as a victim to his routine. If he says something like “Hey, it’s kind of loud in here. Can we go outside and talk for a bit?” He’s probably not looking for a one-night stand. Bouncing is a very common practice in the “Pick-Up Artist” world.

4. He Doesn’t Want To Meet Your Friends

A huge tell for a guy that only wants a one-night stand is when they don’t want to meet your friends. When you’re in a bar or a club with friends, the guy should want their approval. A potential date that is interested in you and your life will want to meet your friends so they can put in a good word for him. For a guy wanting a one night stand, your friends are obstacles that could get in his way. They will try to keep you away from your friends for as long as possible and then make an excuse of why they don’t want to meet them. They might say something like “I need another drink” or “Let me run to bathroom real quick.”

5. He Doesn’t Ask For Your Number

If you really want to know whether the guy is looking for a one night stand, the best way to do it is to play the game yourself. Pretend that you and your friends are leaving the bar. Even if you’re not leaving the bar you can say “we changed our mind.” If the guy does not ask for your number before you leave, he’s only looking for a one-night stand. Men don’t want to be perceived as players by the rest of the girls in the bar. When he takes your number, other girls are going to be uninterested. This messes up his persona and he won’t risk it on a girl that is leaving.