Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for Sex & Intimacy / Sex Tips & Advice

What Women REALLY Want In Bed

By

Sex is different for girls than it is for guys. Girls experience it differently and feel differently about it than men do. If you think you know what your partner wants when she’s having sex with you, think again! You’d be surprised at the things a woman wants and needs during nookie to get off and feel satisfied. Here’s what a girl ACTUALLY wants in the sack!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fM5gC3Ti1I[/youtube]

Psychological Excitement – Not Just Physical Excitement

A woman is multi-sensory during sex – she doesn’t just want to feel what you’re doing, she wants to think about it, hear it, see it, and imagine what you’re going to do next. A woman uses her brain during sex more than anything else, so if you neglect to stimulate her mind and her imagination when you’re getting it on, you’re not going to get very far.

While girls do appreciate good technique, you can’t skate by on technique alone. If you’re totally “blah” in bed and don’t get her mind, soul, body, emotions and imagination going when you’re getting busy, it’s not going to matter if you can touch her clitoris exactly the right way. She’s not going to be able to reach orgasm if her mind isn’t adequately stimulated.

What Energies A Woman Wants To Feel

Because a woman’s emotions are so deeply involved in sex, it’s important to have the right energy when you slip between the sheets. If you have a weak energy about you – as though you’re going to ask permission to do what you want to her – she’s not going to get turned on at all. These are some things that girls really want to feel when bumping uglies:

Dominance

A woman wants to feel as though she’s with a man who is dominant. She wants to feel like he will take control of the situation if need be, and that he has the confidence to give her pleasure. Having dominance doesn’t necessarily refer to domination like in BDSM, but rather, just a man having a dominant energy and attitude about him. Make her feel like you’re the alpha male!

Variety

Girls also don’t want to do the same thing over and over when they have sex. They want variety, just like anyone else does. You may know just the right techniques but if you do them again and again, they’re going to get old after awhile. Take the time to research new techniques and try them out.

Don’t assume that because you’re good at sex and can give a girl an orgasm that you’re beyond having to hit the books to learn something new – that’s every man’s downfall. Read up on new ways to pleasure your partner and see what works and what doesn’t! She’ll love that you’re adventurous enough to bring something new to the table!

Emotion

Girls are emotional creatures – emotions govern their lives, from what they do to what they wear, what they eat and where they go. It makes sense that emotions govern a woman’s pleasure during sex as well. A woman doesn’t want to get it on with a robot – if you’re incapable of showing emotion when getting busy, your partner will get bored pretty quickly.

Instead, allow the emotions you’re feeling come through. If something feels great, don’t be afraid to say something or even just moan. Don’t be too quiet! Also, dirty talk is a great way to engage her brain during sex. It lets her know that you’re really enjoying what’s happening while also turning her on even more.

After Sex Play

You’ve heard the joke about how all men do after sex is roll over and go to sleep – unfortunately, many men actually do this! They may get up and get a drink or have a smoke afterwards, but when it’s over for a guy, it’s over. However, it’s completely different for a woman. A woman is emotionally geared up after sex – she feels intimate with you and emotionally connected to you. She may want to cuddle or talk, but she probably won’t roll over and go to sleep.

If you emotionally unplug from your partner after orgasm and go do something else, she’s going to feel disconnected from you. Even if she had an orgasm (or two or three), if she doesn’t get that emotional follow up after sex, it’s not going to end well for her. It may even discount the whole experience!

Take some time when you’re done knocking boots to stay connected with her emotionally. Lay by her side and listen to her breathe. Touch her softly and cuddle with her. Even if you can only stay awake for just a few minutes, if you’re cuddling and bonding with your partner, it will make all the difference in the world. It will also increase your chances of getting busy – and not masturbating alone – next time!

They Want Orgasms!

Girls want orgasms during sex. While it is possible for a woman to enjoy it without reaching climax, it’s just a lot better for both you and your partner if you can help her reach her peak. If a girl never has an orgasm, she’s going to feel like having sex with you is a “job” and there’s really no point in doing it at all. That’s when a guy will notice his sex life start to wane – she’s not going to get busy with you if she can’t reach orgasm.

Practice your technique and communicate with your partner about what feels good and what doesn’t. Let her know that you genuinely want to please her and need some feedback on what she likes and what she doesn’t. If your partner is having problems with reaching orgasm and it’s not happening very often or at all regardless of what you do, visit a doctor and rule out any medical issues. Explore ways to make sure your partner is enjoying sex as much as you are.

Top 10 Best Places To Have Sex While Shopping

By

Sex while shopping can be lots of fun! Give yourself a break from the grind by getting it on with these ten super steamy ideas.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1qwRSH_6PU&feature=channel_video_title[/youtube]

While Apartment Hunting

Apartment hunting can be pretty intense if you don’t have something to distract you. Some apartment landlords will hand out the keys to the apartments without accompanying you to the place. This is a great time to break in a new place! Check out the floor plan and then do it on the floor – or do it doggy style in the tub. Make sure to bring a few tissues with you – the water may not be turned on to rinse away the evidence of your tryst.

While Test Driving A New Car

Test out the backseat in a new car when you’re test driving it. Park the car in an obscure location and get busy – you can do it the traditional way in the backseat, or you can use the front passenger side seat if it reclines back far enough. You can also have oral sex this way if you get into the sixty-nine position!

In A Public Restroom In A Department Store

If you want to have sex in a department store, the best place you’re going to find is the restroom or the dressing room. The restroom offers less privacy than a dressing room, which may be more fun for you and your partner depending on if you’re into public sex. Make sure you pick a clean restroom!

In A Dressing Room

If the restroom is occupied or you just want somewhere a little cleaner to go, try the dressing room of a department store. Some dressing rooms have attendants and others don’t, so you want to try to find one that doesn’t have an attendant if you don’t want to get caught. It’s more likely that you’ll find a dressing room that isn’t attended later in the evening or close to the time that the store will be closing. Of course, you don’t want to get caught after the store closes, so give yourself plenty of time!

In A Show Camper In A Sports Store

Whether you’re thinking of buying a camper or not, taking a “look” inside it can be incredibly fun! Many sports stores will have campers set up for customers to tour, especially if it is a very large sports store. If the store is rather empty, you can duck into the camper for a quickie before anyone notices! Have fun by doing it on the fold out table (make sure it can hold your weight!) or missionary style on the camper’s bed.

In A Mobile Home Demo

Like with an apartment, you can often get away for a few minutes under the premise of touring a mobile home. Again, you’ll have to find a mobile home dealer that doesn’t accompany each of his or her customers to the home. Although, you can always as for a few minutes to discuss it privately, at which point the salesperson will most likely head to the other side of the house or somewhere else out of the way. Just be quiet if you don’t want them suspecting what you’re doing!

Under The Holiday Display At The Mall

‘Tis the season for hot sex and you can add a little bit of holiday cheer to public sex by getting it on under or in a holiday display at the mall. Many of these displays have nooks or crannies that you can hide in, or large Christmas trees you can hide behind. Either way, just make sure you’re not doing it during the hours that small children are around, lining up to see Santa! You’d have some angry parents on your hands if you were to get caught. Instead, try waiting until late evening shortly before the mall closes when there aren’t as many customers walking around.

On A Sample Bed At The Mattress Store

This one pretty much guarantees you will get caught, but if you like the idea of getting busted getting your groove on or just really want to do it in a mattress store, you’ll enjoy this. You also aren’t really going to be able to get naked in a mattress store. A handjob might be an alternative, because it’s a little more difficult for the salesperson to spot what you’re doing.

In The Dressing Room At A Lingerie Store

While this is similar to having sex in the dressing room at a department store, it’s a little bit sexier doing it in a lingerie store. This is because not only is the lighting better and will make you and your partner look great doing it, but you’ll also have fun parading around in the lingerie before you get busy! Just be aware that if you do get caught having sex while wearing the lingerie, you’re probably going to have to pay for it.

In A Show Car In The Middle Of The Mall

Another great place to have sex in the mall is in a show car. Most of the time, the windows are tinted dark, so no one will be able to see what is going on inside the car unless they’re standing really close to it and looking in. Again, you have less of a chance of getting caught if you go at a time that there aren’t a lot of people in the mall, but be aware that the doors of the car may be locked and you may not be able to get in.

How To Use The 5 Senses During Sex

By

Sex should involve the whole body for a truly amazing experience. Men are visual creatures, and that is how they express themselves sexually. They like to look at boobs. They like to watch porn. However, women are multisensory. They experience sex with all of their senses. While a great set of abs does entice her visually, so does the sound of a man’s voice or the warmth of his touch.

When she is attracted to him, his scent is stronger than other men’s scents. While men may not be inherently moved to incorporate a woman’s fragrance or the cadence of her speech into his sexual nature, it doesn’t mean he can’t consciously make the decision to do so. Here’s a quick review of the five senses, and how erotic each can be.

Sight

You already know that men are visually stimulated. The respond best when they can actually look at what is going on, rather than just feel it with their bodies. That’s part of why porn is so popular! Men are already experts in getting turned on by what they can see, but you can take it even further. Really scan your lover’s body with your eyes. See how her body is different from other women’s.

Maybe she has strong runner’s legs or perfectly olive skin. Notice the things that make her special unique, and compliment them. Tell her how much you love her wildly curly hair or the curve of her stomach. You will see her in a new light once you’ve really taken her in.

Taste

Taste is definitely a component of good sex, but a lot of the time, the taste of your partner’s salty skin isn’t always erotic. So you can have a lot of fun playing with taste and incorporating new ones into our sex routine. Try giving each other sensual massages with flavored oils, and then lick it off one another’s bodies. Blindfold her, and then feed her passion fruits or chocolate mousse.

Have a sensual dinner before sex and really pay attention to the flavors and textures of the foods. Then, have dessert off her sexy body. Drizzle chocolate sauce and whipped cream all over her and have fun licking it all up. You can also buy a variety pack of flavored lip balms, and then guess the flavor every time you kiss her hello. Whatever it is, have fun with it.

Smell

There’s a reason that certain scents seem sexy to you, or turn you on. Your sense of smell can be heightened during times of extreme arousal. Maximize the power of aromatherapy by filling the room with warm, relaxing scents.  Musky vanilla, sandalwood or lavender scents all help relax the mind and body, and makes a woman feel more sensual.

To engage your sense of smell, breathe in the smell of her skin when she’s under you. Once you know her smell, it will get you going every time you catch a whiff.

Sound

The sounds of sex are probably one of the best things about it. There’s nothing like hearing how much you’re pleasing your partner or listening to the sound of intercourse. Dirty talk is a great way to engage you and your partner’s ears when getting it on.

Whether you’re telling over the phone what you’re going to do to her when you get home, or whispering sweet nothings in her ear, you can heighten the anticipation with verbal stimulation. Also, when you’re pleasuring her or railing her, listen to her moans and hear her reaction. Then you can be certain you’re doing it right.

Touch

This is the most sexually satisfying of all the senses. What you feel with sex is what governs what you do and what you think when you’re getting busy with your lover. Play with touch by running your hands all over each other’s bodies. Feel the warmth of your lover’s skin. Sex games that maximize touch with your partner are also a great way to enhance your sex life.

Play a game where you touch her each part of her body from head to toe, but never lose contact. Then enjoy the intense pleasure when you’ve felt her with all your senses. You can also use this sense when “feeling” your orgasms. When you’re in the throes of orgasm, let the experience completely overtake you. Get lost in all the different sensations that you’re feeling, and let your partner do the same!

Q&A: Her Vagina Smells Bad – What Do I Do?

By

A vagina has a natural scent which some men enjoy and others don’t. Just like male genitals have a scent, so do female genitals. There are many things that could change the natural smell of the vagina and make the odor much stronger or even foul, so what do you do when the smell of her downstairs area becomes too much to handle?

Question: What do I do when her vagina smells really bad? I noticed, but I did not want to say anything. How do I kill that smell in my room, on my bed and on me?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6DovZn_FeAo&feature=channel_video_title[/youtube]

Take A Shower Together Before Sex

As part of your foreplay routine, take a shower before sex. Sex in the shower can be super hot, and you can make washing your lover’s vagina part of turning her on. She’ll love the feel of your hands on her clitoris and labia as you soap her up, and she very well may want to do the same to you!

A shower before sex accomplishes two things – you get to wash your partner’s vagina without her really knowing that you’re washing it to get rid of odor (as long as you act like you’re trying to turn her on rather than scrub her clean) and you’re getting her aroused in the process. It’s a win-win situation!

Both Male And Female Genitals Have An Odor

Men may act like going down on a woman that has vaginal odor is the worst thing in the world, but many men forget that their genitals also have an odor. A man’s genitals smell a certain way, even when he is clean. His scent, however, will get stronger and more pungent in between showers and especially if he’s worked outside or engaged in physical activity such as jogging or aerobics.

A woman’s vagina is the same way – her natural smell is going to be less noticeable right after a shower, but it’s still there. It will get stronger as the day goes on, but this doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with her. Women who have more pubic hair will also have a stronger odor, simply because body fluids stick to the hair. Some people find that the scent of their partner’s genitals is arousing, while other people don’t like it at all.

Also, be aware that if you and your partner have sex often without a condom, your seminal fluid is going to be hanging out in her vagina. It’s not going to hurt anything to leave it in there and your partner’s vagina will eventually clean itself out, however, many people find it easier to simply rinse the semen out by douching.

It Could Be An Infection

Women are prone to vaginal infections such as bacterial or yeast infections. A bacterial or yeast infection can cause a woman’s odor to change and become stronger, even with proper genital hygiene. If she washes regularly, or you take a shower before sex and you still notice that your partner’s vagina has a strong odor, she may have an infection.

In this case, you may want to suggest going to the doctor. This can be an awkward conversation, but if you’re genuinely concerned about her and her health and offer to go with her without criticism, she’s not going to be as offended. Do NOT make it about you and how you can’t stand your partner’s vaginal odor. She will likely never have sex with you again!

Not A Chemistry Match

Both men and women release pheromones through their genitals, and different people are attracted to different pheromones. It all has to do with body chemistry – if you find that your partner almost always smells really good down there to you, her body chemistry is likely a great match for you. Alternatively, if you find that she almost always smells really bad to you – even if she has impeccable genital hygiene – she may not be a good chemistry match for you.

Foods That She Eats

You may have heard that eating certain foods will affect the taste of your semen, and the same applies to women. The food she eats will have an impact on her vaginal odor. If she eats a lot of cabbage, garlic, broccoli and onions, her vaginal odor is going to be very pungent. On the other hand, if she’s eating a lot of sweet foods like pineapple and strawberries, her vagina is going to smell sweeter as well.

When To See A Doctor

If you’ve gone through every possible cause of her vaginal odor and you still aren’t able to eliminate it, it may be time to get checked out by the doctor. Other reasons to bring a doctor on board are:

  • Pain while urinating (you or her)
  • Discharge coming from your penis
  • If odor doesn’t go away with hygiene or gets worse
  • Sexual intercourse is painful for her

There’s nothing embarrassing about going to see the doctor – if you’re not comfortable talking with the doctor you currently have about sex or the health of your genitals, find a new one. If your partner isn’t comfortable enough with her doctor to do so, encourage her to find a doctor she is comfortable with.

How To Talk To Her About It

Having to talk to her about her vaginal odor might seem impossible, but if you do it very carefully, it will end well. Some things to keep in mind are:

Don’t Joke About It

Never make jokes about her vaginal odor or make fun of her in any way. Never allow her to overhear you joking about it with your friends, never put it in a text, etc. etc. Guys can often be insensitive, but make sure you’re aware of her feelings the entire time.

Come Off As Concerned

Don’t approach her in a critical way – she’ll instantly get defensive. Instead, make sure she knows you’re concerned about her and her health, not about yourself. If she truly feels as though you care, she’ll be more willing to investigate the problem with you. Offer to go to the doctor with her and be supportive of her as you both try to figure out the root of the problem.

Be Honest With Her

Honesty is important here. While you want to be careful about what you’re saying, lying to her or trying to “sugar coat” the issue isn’t going to get you anywhere. Just be truthful with her in a courteous way.

My Ex Wants A Booty Call! Should I Accept?

By

Sex advice often turns out to be wrong – especially when dealing with an ex. What should you do if your old significant other wants a booty call?

My ex I broke up recently, but he wants to keep hooking up NSA style, until one or both of us lands a new beau. Do you think that’s a good idea?

What She Said:

It depends. Are you still in love with your ex? Are you hoping sex will bring the two of you back together? Or are you surfing familiar terrains until someone new comes along? This is different from a “no strings attached/ just for sex” scenario because you two have a history and emotions are most likely lingering.

Finding Your True Motives

Sex with an ex can be a comforting thing. It can also be a very fun thing! It’s important to be honest with yourself as to why you’re really there (other than the obvious). If you’re hoping to win back your former partner, you need to ask yourself why. The two of you broke up for a reason, so you need to question why you’re going back now. If it’s your lover who’s initiated the physical contact, you need to clarify his or her intentions.

Finding HIS True Motives

Sorry to sound like a stick in the mud – I’m all for sex, whether it be a casual fling or a long lasting connection. The concern, in this instance, is the motivations on both sides. If you’re both clear as to why you’ve decided to hop back in bed, then sex with the ex is a “Yay!” If the lines are blurred and there’s the possibility of more heartbreak on the horizon, I’d advise you to skip it. There are plenty of other people out there, which means there’s no need to live in the past – even if that past involves a booty call.

What He Said:

You two broke up. There was probably a reason, right? What? You didn’t break up with this person because it was the most amazing, positive and life affirming experience of your life? Really? You’re trying to tell me you didn’t break up because it was amazing in and out of the sheets? Wow. Shocker. Please let me pause while I recover from the shock of that infinitely profound and unexpected response.

Wow. So that happened. As I recover the pieces of my freshly blown mind, I’m left with a thought: that relationship probably ended for a reason. Usually, a reason that’s perfectly reasonable, correct and valid (unless of course, you have relationship issues. Whole other column).

Do You Really Want To Get Burned Again?

If it ended for a reason, why would you go back? That’s like burning your hand on an open flame and then getting burned again because you wanted to see if you could put your hand on the flame in a different way without getting burned. It’s a flame. That’s your hand. You will get burned every time. Maybe not in the same way, maybe not to the same degree, but yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus and your ass will get burned every time you put in contact with an open flame.

So should you continue to hook up with someone you broke up with? I’m not sure what Miss Cleo or the Magic 8 ball will say, but I can’t see anything wrong with it, right? I mean what could possibly go wrong when you light a match on a gasoline tanker? Nothing wrong with that scenario!