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Honestly, Does Penis Size Really Matter?

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It’s an age old question. Does penis size really matter?

Certainly, it depends on who you ask. Some people prefer large penises and others prefer quite small ones.  The majority of people, however, agree that penis size is relative to the vagina.

If a penis fits the vagina, it really doesn’t matter how big it measures because, well . . . it fits!

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Does penis size really matter?

– Small Penis Guy, CA

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQUsjfaPrrA[/youtube]

The Penis Size Controversy

The controversy over penis size has been talked about for ages and no one really seems to have come up with a conclusion.  Many men feel as though they are too small and, honestly, it’s a common misconception. It’s all about whether the penis fits the vagina or not.  Everyone comes in different shapes and sizes and that includes both male and female genitalia.  Where sexual pleasure is concerned, the greatest pleasure is often derived from intercourse with someone whose genitalia physically matches your own.

If The Penis Fits…

For example, women with extremely long vaginal canals might prefer larger penises while women with small vaginas might feel that a large penis is too big or painful and prefers a smaller, more compact penis.  Men whose penises are quite wide will often like a woman to be wider as well, as that type of vagina is more accommodating.  It really all boils down to who you’re with. Is your penis too small for her vagina and you’re unable to make her climax?  Is it so big that it causes her pain?  If you find yourself in this situation, you might want to take matters into your own hands – no pun intended. If you fear that your penis may be too small, too large or simply not the right shape or size for your partner’s vagina, it’s time to get creative.

Creative Ways to Work a Size Mismatch

Don’t rely completely on intercourse for you and your partner’s sexual pleasure. It will lead to very boring, monotonous sex especially if you two have a size mismatch.  Try incorporating oral sex on both the receiving and giving ends, or use hands and toys to give your partner pleasure.  If you stick to just intercourse, you’re likely to be frustrated and disappointed.

Work with your partner to find new and creative ways you can please each other sexually in addition to intercourse.  Perhaps using a little extra lubrication or a toy during intercourse will stimulate her so that your penis size isn’t completely what she’s focused on.  There are hundreds of ways you can “ad lib” during sexual exploration and the only limit to what you and your partner can do is your imagination.

When Penis Size Does Matter

If you and your partner can’t work it out so that you can both derive sexual pleasure from each other, it’s time to evaluate your relationship.  There are ways to be intimate without sex and many happy couples do not have sex with each other at all or don’t have sex often.  Evaluate whether you would be comfortable finding other ways to be intimate besides sex.  If not, it might be time to move on.

If you and your partner are having pleasurable sex, then you can probably put the penis size issue to bed.  If you’re a good match physically, it doesn’t matter. If you and your partner aren’t a good match, the best thing to do is simply to give new, creative ideas a shot in the bedroom and see where they take you.  You can decide where to go from there.

The Secret Cure For A Dwindling Sex Life

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One Christmas a girlfriend of mine handed out packages to our little group of friends.  One by one my friends opened their packages containing beautiful flannel pajamas from Neiman’s with high-healed shoes all over them.

But my package didn’t contain pajamas. Mine contained a book and some toiletries.  Embarrassed, my friend said, “Well, I know you sleep naked, so I had to think of something else!”  I just laughed.

This particular woman has had marital difficulties as long as I have known her.  Somehow she and her husband managed to have a child; I don’t really know how they did I considering they almost never have sex.  The other women have modest sex lives, I’m sure.

Sleeping naked has many rewards

What I know for sure is that they don’t have as rewarding and active a sex life as they could if they are wearing pajamas to bed!

Wearing your birthday suit to bed offers many rewards.  Not the least of which is that it makes sex a lot more likely to happen.  Here is my list of the advantages of sleeping naked with your partner:

  1. Increased oxytocin.  Oxytocin is a hormone released with skin-to-skin contact.  Touching skin-to-skin from head to toe all night long provides us with a steady stream of this beneficial hormone.  Some of the benefits of oxytocin are: increased sense of well-being; decreased heart rate; and reduction of stress hormones, increased sense of trust, and…. Drum roll…. Sexual arousal!
  2. Getting into “the mood” for sex is hard for women. We tend to stay in our heads and worry about being tired, or that the kids will hear, or whatever we are stressing about that day.  This does not put us in the mood for sexual contact; in fact it tends to make us feel more alone and isolated. Many women will simply answer “Not tonight, dear” if asked if they want to have sex just because they have too much going on in their heads.  Getting skin-to-skin stimulates sexual feelings no matter whom you are or what is going on in your head.
  3. One of the strongest detriments for having sex is a sense of disconnect between the couple.  When we feel disconnected from our partner, we lose a sense of desire for them.  This is why good communication that involves respect and empathy helps us to feel more sexual toward each other. Sleep naked breaks down those psychological barriers.
  4. Sleeping skin-to-skin increases our sense of bonding.  Think about it, when you are first dating you can’t keep your hands off each other can you? When you have a baby you can’t keep your hands off of them either.  Bonding increases with skin-to-skin contact.

You will have sex more often.  Being close and naked makes it a lot easier to move into being sexual together.

Before you protest too much…

Okay, okay, I know what you are going to say, “I can’t sleep without clothes on!” Anytime you change a routine it takes time to adjust.  Your body is just used to your sleeping with clothing touching its skin.  It will get used to being naked, eventually.

My entire life I had slept on my side curled up in the fetal position.  There are pictures of me like this as a child.  Yet when I had shoulder surgery I could not sleep that way. I was forced to learn to sleep on my back.  It was hard the first couple of nights, but I got used to it. You’ll get used to sleeping naked, too.

Now the other argument I hear is that you’d be too cold.  Well, if you are cold, get an electric blanket!

Excuses, excuses

All of these seem like excuses to me. If you don’t want to have sex more often that’s a sign of needing help.  We are programmed through biology to want to be sexual. If something is interfering with that desire you need to check it out.

Make sure there is not something physical going on (it could be hormones).  Then get yourself to a psychologist to find out what is blocking your desire.  It could be problems in the marriage or it could be problems from your past, but it’s not natural to not want to be sexual with your partner.

The benefits of sleeping nude

Even Dr. Oz stated he is a proponent of couples sleeping naked.  A month or two ago he appeared on Oprah and told the world that if you want to increase your sex life, thereby increasing your overall health, you should sleep naked.

Having more sex has many health benefits and increases the chances of your marriage lasting. Okay, I am not talking marathon sex here; I am also not talking having sex five times a day, once or twice a day can do wonders. Having sex at least once a day increases our general health and well-being.

Spending half an hour a day in the most enjoyable and healthy exercise you can partake you will live longer, feel more satisfied with your life, and be healthier. Not to mention it will do increase the odds of your marriage living as long as you do!

How to Induce Sexual Desire In Your Bedroom

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Picture this: you guys are so into each other that you can’t wait any longer to make love.

You start ripping each other’s clothes off and proceed to the bedroom. Once you get there, somebody steps on a gadget left on the floor causing pain.

You move on but the open window is bringing in all the noise from outside and a strange smell from the nearby garbage dump. You both still try to proceed with sex but the bed hasn’t actually been made that morning and it’s smelling a bit in addition to having cookie crumbs all over it.

You both decide to try again… sometime.

What a bummer! If only you had time to prepare your bedroom for lovemaking! Well read on, following are tips that are GUARANTEED to up sexual desire in your bedroom.

How to Make Your Bedroom Hot, Sexy and Ready for Love… Anytime!

Lighting is everything.

Bright yellow lights or glaring white fluorescent lights contribute nothing to sexual desire in the bedroom. What you need are room lights that can be dimmed or a simple bedside lamp that can be dimmed. Better yet, go for scented candles ready for lighting at a moment’s notice!

Music – and Love – is in the air.

You must have some form of music player in your room right? Make sure that you have a couple of tracks that simply shout LOVE in the air. A couple of Barry White (Michael Buble for the younger crowd) CD’s never hurt. It really depends on what you and she are into in terms of music genres. Some couples like opera music (you know, the crescendos make great backdrops to orgasms!), while other’s prefer a 1980s collection of love songs.

The smell of love…

At this point, we’ll go a bit beyond the scented candles and/or burning scented oils. Try to ‘train’ her to associate a certain smell with lovemaking. The trick here is to condition her brain to think of sex every time she smells a particular smell.

For example, on the first night you plan to engage in foreplay, give her a bunch of red roses (or any flower you know she likes). This way, she thinks of making out every time she smells red roses.

Now, on the first night you plan to engage in sex, make sure red rose petals are scattered on the bed or a fresh bouquet of red roses is in the bedroom. Again, the goal is to make her ALWAYS associate a specific scent to you and your lovemaking sessions!

Action speaks louder than words.

Keep in mind that no trick beats a previously sexually pleasurable or great experience with you. Say that you guys made love a week ago at some other location and you saw to it that she climaxed BEFORE you did, she’ll remember this and you can be sure that this time – in your own bedroom – she’ll be showing you just how grateful she is!

Sexy Things to Do With Clothes

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Typically, you think of clothes as an obstacle to sex. Well, you’re about to learn how they can play a much more exciting role. And we’re not talking about dressing up like a cheerleader to act out a guy’s fantasy (though that would be fine too).

Leaving on an article or two of clothing can create a delicious sense of urgency and provide a visual thrill.

So before you strip down, check out these tips for getting your wardrobe in on the lusty action.

12 Sexy Things to Do With Clothes 

  1. Give him a long look at you in a bra, panties, and tall boots. The vixenish-sweet combo majorly turns on men.
  2. Blindfold him with his tie. Blocking his sight heightens his other senses, and not knowing what your next move is will drive him insane (in a good way).
  3. While wearing a slinky, silky camisole, climb on top of him and then slide your body all over his naked skin.
  4. Unzip his pants, but don’t pull them off. Instead, insert your hand, gently take his member out of the opening in his boxers, and treat him to some amazing oral action. Trust us, it’ll give him a rush to have only this one sexy part exposed.
  5. Fling open a front-clo­sure bra right before cli­max. Setting your breasts free at this pivotal point will send him tumbling over the edge.
  6. Whip off his belt, fold it in half, and give his butt a few playful whacks.
  7. Gently bind his ankles together using your bra. When you restrict his move­ment, you get to be in control and he feels the thrill of being dominated by you.
  8. Have him place his hands or mouth down south while you’re still in your undies. The fabric is a barrier (amping excitement), and his warm breath will feel amazing.
  9. Sit on top of him, both of you wearing just undies. Grind back and forth against him for as long as you can, then strip and have sex.
  10. Just push your under­wear aside to have sex. Again, the immediacy of it is hot—like you can’t wait to have each other.
  11. Don’t let him remove his tee shirt before sex. Then, at some pivotal moment— say, midorgasm—grab the fabric in the middle of his chest, twist it so it tightens around his torso, and pull him close.
  12. Slooowly slip off your panties but keep your skirt on before straddling him for girl-on-top sex. It sends the message that you can’t wait a moment longer to have him inside you.

From Cosmo’s Guide to Red-Hot Sex (Feb. 2008, Hearst books/Sterling)

5 Tips To Please Your Man In Bed

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Want to give your man a thrilling experience like never before? Here are 5 really simple ways to make your lovemaking hotter, steamier and more passionate, starting tonight!

1. The best position for his enjoyment

Practically every animal species utilizes the rear-entry “doggy-style” position, so it is a natural one for humans to enjoy, as well. While you won’t have face-to-face contact, there are many benefits. It’s great for guys because it gives them full control.

This is one of the best positions for hitting her G-spot and allows him to fondle your breasts, stomach, clitoris, back, neck and other sensual spots. The main benefit for your man is that he’ll be able to get incredibly deep penetration (above-average guys need to be careful as deep thrusts might hit her cervix, which can be quite painful).

2. Find your man’s “hidden” zones

Yes, men love to be touched sensually too. I call these “hidden” zones because many people don’t realize, or forget, that these areas of the body LOVE attention.

While many of these zones are obvious, like the lips, groin, and inner thighs, there are also areas that, when stroked, caressed and kissed, can drive your partner wild and even intensify their orgasm.

Believe it or not, the ears, neck, arms, chest and scalp are all really sensitive areas that love to be stimulated. Spend some time during foreplay caressing and touching these areas, and watch how it pleases your partner.

3. Set a romantic mood

Think men aren’t romantic or wouldn’t appreciate it? Think again! Everyone loves a thoughtful and kind gesture. Of course you might think that using candles, music, incense and even rose petals to set the mood of your lovemaking is a little too “cliché.” But he’ll think differently!

Your partner will LOVE YOU for this. Just imagine how happy you would feel if someone went to all the trouble to create a special lovemaking occasion that you can cherish for years to come. Could this be so “cliché” because people enjoy it so much? Point made.

4. Give him a hand job

When beginning a genital massage, start with lighter, irregular strokes – like teasing. As you get further and further into it, stick with two or three main strokes that your partner really enjoys.

Developing a good rhythm that your partner can get into is the key to bringing your partner to orgasm with a genital massage.

5. Please your man with more oral sex

If I had to give you one piece of advice to make your lovemaking perfect, it would be: learn the art of fellatio. It’s true, all men love it. It feels great and actually takes a lot of trust and comfort to let somebody have their mouth down there. In short, it’s an important part of lovemaking and is often the main event.

Problem is, women often start fellatio by sucking on the penis straightaway when, actually, they should start with some playful teasing and soft touches.

This will lead to a much more powerful orgasm as it heightens his anticipation. Make sure you use different techniques and your tongue, as well.

So there you have it. Five great ways to make your man more satisfied in the bedroom. While they’re all great, I would recommend putting most of your energy and time into learning fellatio, simply because men crave it so much and the loving smile and kisses you’ll probably get in return are definitely worth it.