Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for fellatio

How to Give a Blowjob: A Crash Course On Giving Men Great Head

By

If there’s one skill that every man would like a woman to have, that is none other than knowing how to give a BJ or a blowjob. One of the most common mistakes that women make is thinking that all the work should be done by the man in the relationship.

However, if you want to have a great sex life, you should do your part and learn about the techniques in bed that will give him the utmost sexual pleasure. So what exactly does it take to give a man great head?

Below is a crash course on how to give a man great head which will lead him to have an orgasm that he is not bound to forget anytime soon.

Step 1: Be In A Comfortable Position

Just like penetrative sex, there are a multitude of positions that you can try while learning how to give a BJ to your guy. You can either have him lie down in bed, have him standing up or make him sit on a comfortable couch.

Let’s say that you choose the last position. What you can do here is kneel in between his legs so that you can gain easy access to all ‘the goods’. Although it only takes a few minutes of direct stimulation for a man to have an orgasm especially when you’re using your mouth, you would not want to have things over too soon – so make sure that you’re in a comfortable position while going down on him.

Step 2: Start Giving Him Head By Slowly Licking Him

It doesn’t matter if he’s already hard or not. The best way to start giving him head is by using your tongue in one long, slow licking motion from the base of his penis all the way up. Do this on as many sides of his penis as you can, then when you feel that he’s all worked up, that is the time that you can slowly take him into your mouth.

Step 3: Use Your Tongue, Mouth & Fingers

As you slowly take his penis deep into your mouth, make sure that you don’t ignore the rest of his package. Use your tongue, mouth and fingers to stimulate the rest of his shaft.  Use an up and down motion with your fingers to cover the part of the shaft which you cannot take into your mouth.

Showing him that you are really into it will be a huge turn on, so stare into his eyes and watch his reaction.  Finally, marvel in your sexual prowess at your being able to give him the ultimate pleasure in bed – and use every tool at your disposal to give him a mind-blowing orgasm that he’s not bound to forget anytime soon!

Tips

Don’t forget to gently tug at, lick or even swallow one of his balls into your mouth if you want to make giving head an extra pleasurable experience for him.

Warnings

The worst way to receive a blowjob is for a man to actually feel your teeth on him – so keep your lips covered. The best way to prevent accidentally grazing his penis with your teeth is by relaxing your jaw. If you need to, cover your teeth with your lips.

10 Blowjob Mistakes You DON’T Want To Make!

By

A blowjob can be incredible pleasure for a man – sometimes, it can be even better than traditional intercourse. But you don’t want it to turn into an epic fail and even if you think you know it all when it comes to oral sex, you could still probably use to learn a few things. Just follow these simple blow job “do nots” and he’ll be wild with passion instead of cringing in discomfort!

1. Using Your Teeth

Using your teeth is probably the worst blowjob faux pas you could make. This always hurts and never, ever feels good. Even under the “right” circumstances. There’s no way to make your teeth an acceptable oral sex tool, so tuck those pearly whites under your lips for a smooth ride down his shaft.

2. Not Acting Excited Enough

Have you ever gotten oral sex from a guy who was less than thrilled to be down there? Was he silent, or even worse, begrudging? Did he act like it was a chore, or even act like impassive? It probably wasn’t very good then. Guess what? The same applies to oral sex for him. He wants you to be excited about giving him head. He wants you to love fellatio as much – or nearly as much – as he does. Bonus points for you if you love it MORE than he does! So don a smile, tell him how much you love sucking him off and act as though you’d rather not be anywhere else.

3. Sucking Too Hard At First

Sucking is awesome, but if you do it too hard at first – before he’s fully warmed up – can have the same effect as him rubbing your clitoris with a dry finger when you’re not turned on. It hurts! Suck gently until you’re sure he’s absolutely aroused and begging for more. Gradually build your way up to sucking harder, gauging his reactions the whole way. Use his body language as your cues to keep doing what you’re doing, suck harder or go softer.

4. Gagging (Or Worse, Vomiting)

If you can’t deep throat, that’s okay. But if you can’t, don’t try – at least, don’t try on him. Gagging really isn’t attractive, and vomiting on him is even worse. If you want to learn how to deep throat, practice on a peeled banana to learn how to control your gag reflex. Don’t try it on your man unless you’re absolutely sure you won’t gag – and if you’re not entirely sure of that, be certain you won’t at least vomit.

5. Doing It Too Soft

You know not to suck too hard when giving a blowjob, but did you also know that having too soft a mouth is equally as frustrating for a man? You don’t want to give head like a pansy, do you? Feel free to start out with soft licking and sucking at first to get him erect and turned on, but that phase shouldn’t last much longer past the initial erection phase. Get busy, girl!

6. Not Discussing Semen First

He probably wants you to swallow. He may want to ejaculate all over your breasts. You may not desire either of those things, but if you don’t discuss it first, you may end up with semen in your mouth and he may get offended at your spitting it out immediately and dousing your mouth with any liquid you can find within reach. So discuss where the semen is going to go before you start giving head. Surely you and your partner can find a compromise.

7. Not Keeping It Wet Enough

You’d think it’s impossible to have a dry blowjob, but it is. Of course things are always going to be damp (that is the nature of oral sex, after all) but it feels much better if it’s really, really wet. So don’t suck all your saliva back in. If you don’t have enough saliva, use flavored lube. Either way, make sure there’s plenty of moisture to keep things going smoothly (wet n’ nasty is preferred, however).

8. Not Using Your Hand

During masturbation, he usually will stroke his shaft and may play with his balls. So leaving these parts unattended can leave your guy feeling pretty neglected. If you can’t bring your mouth all the way down to the base of his shaft, try using your hand instead. Using your hand on the shaft of his penis and his scrotum while sucking on the head can multiply how much pleasure you give him by quite a bit.

9. Keeping Just The Head In Your Mouth

Although you definitely don’t want to shove his penis so far down your throat that you gag or vomit, you also don’t want to stay focus solely on the head. You want to at least go partway down his shaft with your mouth, if you can’t get it down all the way. If you can’t, again, use your hand to stimulate the base of his penis while your mouth works on the head and upper part of the shaft.

10. Playing With His Anus If He’s Not Okay With It

Some guys like anal stimulation during a blowjob while others really, really don’t. And there are usually no grey areas here, so if you aren’t sure where he stands on anal play, definitely skip it. The last thing you want to do is shove a lubed finger up his ass without his prior consent and ruining the blowjob – and possibly your relationship. If you want to experiment with his anus while giving him head, make sure you talk about it first and get the green light from him.

5 Mistakes You Don’t Want To Make When Giving Your First Blowjob

By

Your first blowjob should be great – not a disaster. A lot of women make mistakes when it comes to giving their guy head, and most of the time, little issues will be overlooked because it feels so good. However, if you screw it up big time, he won’t want it from you again! Here’s what you want to avoid when giving a first blowjob.

Using Your Teeth

It may seem like a good idea to graze your guy’s shaft lightly with your teeth or giving the head of his penis a little nibble (you like your clitoris nibbled every once in awhile, so why wouldn’t he?), but really, it’s not. Teeth can hurt and unless your man is a super masochist and enjoys cock and ball torture, letting him feel your pearly whites during fellatio is going to turn him off before you even know what happened.

Avoid using your teeth during your first blowjob by wrapping your lips tightly over them. Make sure your lips are well lubricated, either by your saliva or a good flavored lube. If your lips are dry, they won’t slide well over the shaft of your partner’s penis.

Sucking Too Hard

Lots of girls think that the harder they suck during fellatio, the more pleasurable it will be for a man. While a little bit of sucking, and even firm sucking if he’s close to orgasm is a good thing, if you do it too hard, you’re going to do much more harm than good. It may actually feel too sensitive or be painful for you to suck on his penis very hard, and it will turn him off when you do.

In this case, light sucking and licking is going to be sufficient here. Start out with light licking to tease him and get him warmed up (guys need foreplay too), and then progress to moderate sucking as he gets more and more turned on. Don’t cross the threshold though and do it too hard or too furiously.

Not Listening To His Cues

It’s crucial to listen to a man’s cues during fellatio. His body language will tell you if you’re on the right track or not. A man will thrust his pelvis towards your face, grab your hair or head and vocalize their pleasure when it’s feeling really good. If you’re not getting these results, change what you’re doing – you’re either hurting him or just not doing enough.

Also, don’t assume that if he likes something at first, that he’s going to like it the entire time you’re giving him head. Your technique should vary throughout the duration (seriously, who wants boring fellatio from a one trick pony?) and increase in intensity as he gets closer and closer to orgasm. His non-verbal cues will vary – he may start out gasping for breath and bucking furiously when you start a certain technique, but he may soon relax and get comfortable with it. In which case, you need to move on to a different technique ASAP.

Seeming Bored With It

Enthusiasm is 50% of a great first blowjob. Don’t ruin great fellatio by acting like you really would rather be doing something else. When guys fantasize about getting head, they often fantasize about whoever is doing it being really excited to do it. If you act bored with the act or don’t seem like you’re into it at all, he’s going to pick up on it immediately.

Some guys don’t vocalize their pleasure during oral sex, making it difficult for a woman to feel into it. Encourage him to show you that he’s enjoying it so you can get off on his pleasure too.

Choosing The Wrong Oral Sex Positions

There’s nothing more awkward than a woman trying to get into an oral sex position that bends a man’s penis a strange way. She may think that she’s being adventurous or exciting by doing it this way, but it really just takes away from his pleasure. Make your first blowjob all about your technique and pick a simple, tried and true oral sex position that you know will work.

Try giving him oral sex while he’s standing and you’re kneeling. Place a pillow underneath your knees so you stay comfortable. You can also have him lie on the bed with you cuddled up in between his legs. This allows you a little less control and makes it difficult for him to watch you, but you can prop his head up with pillows to give him a great view.

Your Blowjob Questions – Answered!

By

Oral sex isn’t something every girl knows how to do. Most women have some things they need worked out. Here’s what you want to know about giving fellatio!

What If I Don’t Like The Taste Of Semen?

Many women are afraid to give their partners a blowjob because they’re afraid he will ejaculate in their mouths. Some girls are terrified of this simply because they’ve heard that semen tastes bad, or because they’ve actually tasted it before and didn’t like it. Either way, there are plenty of women out there that don’t like the taste of semen and either stop a blowjob well before their lovers are about to have an orgasm, or just don’t give head at all.

Not liking the taste of semen is no reason not to give your lover the gift of oral sex. If you do happen to bring him to orgasm with a blowjob, you don’t have to swallow, or even spit if you don’t want to. Make sure your guy lets you know when he’s getting close to the point of no return, so you can be prepared to finish him off with your hand. If you have lots of practice, you can also sense that he’s about to have an orgasm by the way his body begins to react to the stimulation.

When he’s about to blow his load, slide your mouth off of him and slide your hand on in one fluid motion and begin masturbating him until he’s finished with his climax. You can allow him to ejaculate anywhere you like – he may like to do so on your breasts or your face, or he may not even care if you hold a towel over his penis to avoid lots of clean up later. He may even want to finish off himself. To put it simply, there are lots of different ways to finish up the blowjob without having to get semen in your mouth.

How Can I Change The Taste Of His Semen?

Since many women are so grossed out by the taste of semen, it’s no surprise that they’re looking for ways to make their partners spunk taste better. Even if you don’t allow your lover to ejaculate in your mouth, the “pre-cum” that seeps out of the head of his penis while you’re stimulating him orally can taste just as bitter or just as chalky.

Fortunately, there are ways to change the taste of your partner’s semen, although it requires his full cooperation and it won’t happen overnight. If your lover’s ejaculate tastes really terrible, it’s likely due to what he’s eating or ingesting. Start by looking at toxins – cigarette smoking, drug usage or alcohol drinking. All of these things will make his semen taste fairly nasty, because the toxins in these products are leaving his body through his ejaculate.

Next, eliminate foods that are well known to cause gas, like cabbage and asparagus. These can make your partner’s semen taste bitter as well. To improve the taste, have him eat more fresh fruits or drink fruit juices. Fresh pineapple or pineapple juice is very popular, because it will sweeten the taste of his semen significantly with regular consumption.

If your lover starts leading a healthy life, eliminates toxin usage, eliminates eating processed junk food and cleans up his diet, as well as getting enough sleep and exercise, he’s going to have much better tasting semen because he’s taking care of himself and his body will begin to show it.

How Do I Keep From Biting Him?

Biting a man’s penis accidentally during oral sex is a very valid concern for both women giving a blowjob and men receiving one. Getting bitten or even lightly scraped by a woman’s teeth while getting a blowjob is the fastest way to completely ruin it and turn him off for the whole night – not to mention it’s the fastest way to cause pain and discomfort.

Although this is one of the biggest concerns with going down on a man, it’s also one of the easiest to avoid. Simply curl your lips in your mouth over your teeth, covering your teeth with the inside of your lips, top and bottom. When you move your mouth up and down over your lover’s shaft, he’ll actually be rubbing up against the outside of your lips and the skin there.

You can even use your lips to cushion him against your teeth so you can put more pressure on his penis, which many men really enjoy. This simple maneuver will keep you from hurting him while you’re sucking him off, a gesture he is sure to greatly appreciate.

How Do I Keep From Gagging?

Gagging is a common problem when it comes to going down on a guy, especially if he has a long penis or is particularly well endowed. A longer penis will bump up against the back of the throat and the gag reflex more easily than a shorter penis, making it more difficult for a woman to keep from gagging while she’s going down on her lover. If your partner has a smaller penis, you may not be as worried about this. However, if your lover makes you gag every time you give him head, even when you’re not deep throating, this can pose quite the predicament.

However, even if your man has a big penis, you don’t have to worry about gagging if you use certain techniques. You may not be able to fit your man’s entire penis in your mouth if he’s big, and if you try, you’ll likely stimulate your gag reflex. So don’t sweat it and use the hand-and-mouth technique. Place your hand at the base of your man’s penis and place your mouth over the top of it, with your mouth and hand touching each other in the middle of his shaft.

As you suck up and down on the top of his penis, your hand should be in sync, stroking the bottom of his shaft at the same time. You want your mouth and hand to go up and down at the same time, as if your hand were an extension of your mouth. This will stimulate his entire penis during the blowjob without you having to cram the entire thing down your throat, causing you to gag.

On the other hand, sometimes a woman will gag if her lover has a particularly strong smell down there. Ensuring that he keeps his pubic hair short and showers well right before oral sex can cut the smell down significantly, reducing the chance a woman will gag during oral sex because of the way his genitals smell.

What Is The Best Blowjob Position For Him?

A man might answer this question with the word “any,” and this is true to an extent. Most guys are going to prefer oral sex positions that allow him to see you lavishing attention on his genitals, but some guys like laying back, closing their eyes and relaxing while you go to work on them. Every guy is going to like something different! So in all honesty, the best oral sex position for him is the one that is best for you.

You need to be comfortable while going down on him, and if your neck is sore after two minutes or you’re cutting off the circulation to your hands because all of your weight is on your wrists, you’re not going to be able to go down on him for very long. Cutting a blowjob short because you’re uncomfortable is the pits for your man! Select an oral sex position that allows you to keep going for longer without getting uncomfortable as quickly (or at all if you can manage!) will make him happier, because you’ll actually be able to get into it as opposed to continuing to shift your weight around.

He’ll be able to tell you’re uncomfortable and he’ll know instantly that you’re not as into it. He won’t care what position you choose if it’s one you can throw caution to the wind in and really go to town on him.

5 Ways To Get Her To Give You Head More Often

By

Blowjob tips are essential if you want to get good head in your relationship. Getting head is something no guy wants to turn down. But what if you’re not being offered? Here are five things you can do to get your girl to want to suck you off.

OK, even if your wife or girlfriend “sometimes” gives you head now, I still recommend you read (and reread) this article. It’s all in the name of getting a great blowjob, but what I teach you in the next few pages will do wonders for your sexual connection, your woman’s desire to try new things and the amount of FUN you guys have in the bedroom together.

Here’s a couple of basic rules and things you need to internalize in order to make this “blowjob” thing start to happen in your life.

1. Get Her Turned ON!

If you don’t already have a sex life with your wife or girlfriend, or don’t know how to get things heated up, learn! It’s not all about techniques – it’s about igniting her sexual desire for you. Also, don’t be shy about giving her oral sex. She’s not going to want to go down on you if you never do it for her.

2. Change How You Feel About Getting Head

You need to permanently change your thinking around getting a blowjob. Weirdly enough, if you want to get more head in your life you need to treat them as “no big deal.” If getting a blowjob is the “be all, end all” of your sexuality then it becomes too much pressure for her. If it’s “just something fun you guys can do” it’s more likely to happen and happen often.

3. Do Not Beg!

Don’t beg… EVER. Your woman needs to see you as a sexually powerful man. Most women want their man to be the dominant but respectful one in the sexual relationship. That means you CAN NOT BE ASHAMED OF YOUR DESIRES. If you ever act embarrassed by something you want sexually your odds of getting it go WAY down. Whether you want her to go down on you or put on a sexy clown costume and juggle your balls, you need to OWN your desire and feel confident about it. This can be hard to pull off, but it’s incredibly important.

4. Don’t Be Misogynistic

This whole method is based around loving and respecting women. In my own life I’ve discovered that the more I respect and adore women the dirtier, sexier and weirder things they’ve been willing to do with me. Even if you really want to be dominant with a woman, the best way to get there is to have a sincere desire to give her pleasure and to have FUN with her.

5. Share The Experience With Her

Start thinking of oral sex as “something you guys SHARE” instead of something she does for you. She will love this! This is a really important distinction. Once you internalize this concept you’ll both start having a lot more fun. It’s got to be fun for both of you.