Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for masturbation

Can You Use Masturbation To Control Premature Ejaculation?

By

Masturbation is something every guy does, but will doing it the right way and at the right times help you control premature ejaculation? Find out now!

Controlling premature ejaculation without relying on aids such as desensitizers or creams is totally possible. All you need is to learn how your body reacts prior to ejaculation and keep the stimulation in check before it tips over the “point of no return.” And one of the best ways to achieve this is through masturbation. Although masturbation is often cited as a contributory factor to premature ejaculation, you can turn this around and use it to your advantage.

1. Simulate Sex

Simulate the action of intercourse by stroking your penis up and down. Allow the physical sensations of stimulation to manifest. Pay attention to how your body responds and feels as the excitement piles up. You may not be able to prevent yourself from ejaculating. That is OK. The key is to recognize the point when you ejaculate and the sensations that accompany this stage.

2. Train Yourself To Stop

Perform the same routine again. Once you have an erection, stop the stimulation altogether for 15 seconds. Pay attention to how your body feels when the sensations of excitement subside. Then continue masturbating again, stopping and continuing the movements until you feel you are close to a peak. As soon as you sense you are very close to orgasm, stop all stimulation again until you regain control once more.

3. Get Close 3 Times

You may find yourself losing the erection when you discontinue the stimulation. Don’t worry. Just resume the stimulation again. Get yourself close to climaxing three times, and allow yourself to ejaculate on the forth time. This exercise may take some getting used to at first, but with some practice, you will notice 2 things happening between the stops: First, you will regain control much sooner; second, you will improve the time you take for the stimulation to reach a peak.

4. Get Close 6 Times

Increase the number of times that you stop the stimulation just to the “point of no return” from three to six. Once you can achieve this milestone, perform this routine daily.

5. Start Using Lube

Increase the challenge by using a lubricant to simulate penetration. Perform the same routine, that is, stopping three times before ejaculation and then increasing this to six times in between stops. If you have a partner, you can get her involved in this exercise.

This is an extremely useful exercise to improve your time to ejaculation. Of course, like all things worth doing, practice makes perfect. Don’t be discouraged if you ejaculate too soon on the first few attempts. With enough practice, your body will be able to endure increased levels of stimulation during masturbation, which of course you can carry over to the actual lovemaking!

10 Advanced Tools For Incredible Handjobs

By

A handjob doesn’t have to be any old handjob. These simple but effective accessories can turn something “ho hum” into something absolutely orgasmic!

While your hands (and some lube) are really all that is needed for a great hand job, some variety makes it more fun for you and him. Here are some ideas on elements that can be used to add some zest and excitement to your repertoire.

1. Candle Wax

You can buy candles that are specifically designed for body massages. As the candle burns and the wax is melted, you can pour the melted wax on your lovers body. It should be safe to pour on his shaft and testicles. His glans (head) might be too sensitive to the heat. Do a test drop first. I loved it when my wife did this for me but not something I’d want every time. I personally think warm oil/lube is better for a handjob overall but for a man, the smell, sight and feeling of the candle wax being lovingly poured on your penis is special indeed and worth doing now and again.

2. Scarf Or Tie

Take some of your silk scarves or his old ties and put them to good use. Drape the over his body, wrap them around his rod and pass them between his legs. He’ll go crazy from the soft, silky, breezy fabrics touching his sensitive spots. Do this BEFORE you get out the lube to keep them from getting soiled. If you want to get real kinky, use them to “tie him up” while you give him an exciting handjob experience. And while you are at it you can also use them to blindfold him. That adds another very interesting dimension to a handjob. It puts all his energy on assessing the pleasure of your touch.

3. Silk Or Satin Lingerie

Taking off your lingerie will certainly get his blood pumping and you can do one better. Rub your silky nightie or underwear around his shaft and balls. He’ll go nuts. This is what it did for one of my subscribers: “My favorite hand-job spin is this: my girl will take her satin Nighty, turn it inside out, and rub my hard-on with the silky material…WOW I throb big-time! She may add a vibe to tingle my balls with her other hand. Sometimes I can’t hold back and I’ll jizz now.”

4. A Vibrator

As you just read, battery operated toys are not just for women. They work exceptionally well on men’s sensitive areas. Buzz his nipples, his sack, his rod. He’ll even like it if you touch his anus with it (you can put a condom over it if you want to keep it sanitary). If you don’t have a “dildo” on hand, simply use an old battery powered toothbrush. Just keep the bristles away from him.

5. Beads

No, not anal beads (although some men would really go for that too). I am talking about pearl necklaces. If you have a bead necklace that is smooth, wrap it around his shaft and pull it back and forth to massage his manhood. Just be aware that some lubes and oils might eventually break down the string so don’t use an expensive necklace.

6. Fruit

This is for the adventurous. Take a melon and cut a hole in it the size of his erect shaft (make it a little on the tight size. Slide it on his hard-on, then move the melon up and down to push his cock in and out. He’ll smell and taste wonderful. If the suction is too strong, cut a small hole in the opposite side of the melon. You can also use a banana. Cut the end off the banana and gently scoop out enough flesh so that his penis will fit in tight. You can also put the banana in the microwave for a few seconds to warm it up but be VERY CAREFUL to test it with your finger to make sure it is not too hot. If you like the taste of kiwi then cut the top and bottom off a kiwi fruit and take a little flesh out of the center and use the “sleeve” to masturbate your guy.

7. Vegetables

Same idea as above but use a zucchini, eggplant or cucumber. Instead of scooping out the flesh you can often press in a broom handle to create a hole deep and wide enough.

8. Condoms

Put lube on his member and them roll down a condom and use it as a sleeve to jerk off your guy. A nice side benefit is that clean up is a cinch. Also, try a “ribbed” condom and turn it inside out before putting it over his manhood. The ribs will give him lots of wonderful sensations all over. Here’s something else to try with a condom. Blow it up into a balloon, a little smaller than a bowling ball. Quickly insert his penis into the hole to seal it up. If air starts to leak hold it tight around his shaft (or ask him to hold it). You will both be able to see his penis inside the “balloon.” If you can manage it, get him to come and see him squirt all over the inside. Guys will really like this visual.

9. Plastic Baggies

Fill one zippered baggie with warm water and one with ice water. Use them at different intervals touching various parts of his body to bring your man different sensations.

10. Fan

You can use a hand fan or an electric fan to blow air over your man to create a slight breeze. It feels quite refreshing on the testicles which aren’t used to a lot of fresh air.

Should You Use A Vibrator?

By

Sex toys can improve your ability to reach orgasm more quickly – and it can increase the intensity of your climax. But is a vibrator something you need or not?

This is about whether or not to bring the vibrator into the bedroom with the new guy that you’re dating.

Why You Shouldn’t

The vibrator is very intimidating for a lot of men. Our tongue cannot move 10,000 miles an hour. Our penis is not designed to pulsate as well as penetrate. We’ve seen women have orgasms with the vibrator where they lose their minds, screaming at the top of their lungs, and then we’ve also had women that have had orgasms with us with nary a moan or peep.

As a man, we want to be able to make you scream with our own tools: our penis, our fingers, our hands, our mouth. We want to be in complete control of your body.

It’s our ego. It’s who we are. It’s what we’re all about as men.

We talk about it.

“God, I made her come four times!”

We count the orgasms.

We need to know that we are masters of your body when we sleep with you.

Why You Might Want To

But we do like to also have fun. We don’t mind the vibrator as long as the vibrator’s introduced as a tool to assist our penis, hands and mouth—not as competition.

We want to be able to go back and tell our buddies:

“Yeah, it was great the other night. I was licking her clitoris and then I stuck the vibrator inside and she just came so hard, in so many different ways. Then I was on top of her and she used the vibrator on her clitoris and she was screaming and just so wet!”

That’s how we like the vibrator. We want it to be a tool on our utility belt. We don’t want it to replace us.

We don’t want to see or hear about you using the vibrator and having many orgasms. We don’t want to have sex and be unsuccessful in getting you to come, and then have you look at us and say, “Don’t worry, baby, you got me to this point. The vibrator’s just a finisher.”

As a man, we want to be the only thing your body requires, give or take a little water and a few meals per day.

That’s it.

Food. Water. And our penis. Any more than that, and the insecurities kick in. Because men are insecure also—don’t let the machismo fool you.

So if you’re interested in keeping your man happy, be graceful with how you introduce the vibrator, or consider just leaving it in the drawer altogether.

What To Do When He Ejaculates During A Handjob

By

A handjob will hopefully end in your lover ejaculating – but what do you do with his semen? Here’s how to handle it when your man has an orgasm during a handjob.

You’ve made it through the hard part – getting your partner up to the point where an orgasm is imminent. Here, you can do a couple things. You can relinquish your partner’s penis back to him and allow him to finish the job. Some couples will choose to let the man finish himself off while she concentrates on his testicles and perineum. If you are an oral sort of gal, men LOVE to have their balls licked and sucked as they masturbate.

Take Him Through The Orgasm

A more popular approach is to help your partner through his ejaculation by performing his favorite strokes and continuing to give him pleasure through his entire orgasm. Don’t make the mistake of stopping the handjob as soon as he begins to ejaculate. Continue your strokes until he begins to pull away. Most men “squirt” out close to ten times when they are having an orgasm. A few significant squirts followed by some very minor ones.

Think about it as an earthquake with a few aftershocks. The euphoric feelings that accompany the ejaculation might last a couple of seconds up to 30 seconds or more. The more you stroke, the longer he’ll come. Don’t cheat him out of any of those precious seconds.

Where Does The Semen Go?

Most of the time, women will let their partner’s ejaculate on their hands. You can keep one hand on the head of his penis while he has an orgasm (this is very pleasurable) and let his semen bubble over your fingers like a volcano, or you can keep your hands on the shaft of your partner’s penis and watch how high his eruptions will go!

If you are uncomfortable with having your partner’s semen on your hands, you can use gloves or you can hold a towel, washcloth or tissue over his urethra just as he is about to ejaculate to catch the semen. Any way you and your partner choose to handle the orgasm is fine – as long as you both are comfortable and enjoy it.

Men Love To Watch

Most men are highly turned on by you being excited (or at least fascinated) by his ejaculation. We like for you to see our eruptions as amazing or thrilling and not “gross”. We want to see wonder in your eyes as we shoot as high or far as far as we can (men are competitors by nature). Here is how one of my readers expressed it: “I want you to watch me and my manhood as I proudly throb and shoot jets of splooge for all to see! Don’t turn away, or block the squirts… sharing the full ejaculation experience with you is HOT!”

Another turn on for men is to ejaculate onto you. On your breasts, your stomach or even youth mouth if you are so willing. Again, we are very visual and marrying the erotic act of ejaculation with a visual image of your nakedness is something that fuels our sexual fires.

Letting Him Take The Reins

Depending where he wants to shoot his load, you may need to do a hand off to him in the final moments. He just might want you on your hands and knees so he can shoot all over your back and rump. Just find a way to communicate this before it is too late. But, if he comes before the plan is fulfilled, you can look forward to trying it next time.

Handing off to him to masturbate has other advantages to you and him. He can finish off really strong (he’s had a lot of practice), aim it where he wants it and you can enjoy seeing him fully enjoying himself.

There might be times where you are unable to bring him to climax with your hands. Even seasoned masturbators have times when they are unable to bring themselves to orgasm. So don’t sweat it. As you give him more and more handjobs you’ll learn the subtle nuances that tend to take him over the edge.

I’ll tell you what will almost certainly take him to his peak if you can’t seem to get him to erupt. Sit facing him, spread your legs wide, part your labia and finger yourself to orgasm. Mutual masturbation is near the top of most men’s fantasy lists. It is an explosive way to finish off a handjob session.

For clean up, you might want to have some baby wipes on hand or a very special touch is to bring in a warm, wet washcloth and wipe him clean. Or perhaps he or both of you were planning on showering afterwards.

Is Porn Actually Bad For You?

By

Porn can be a way to get any guy through dry spell or to spice up the love life between a couple. However, the most common questions is whether or not adult movies are actually bad for you. While it does allow people to indulge in their fantasies, there can be several repercussions to bring pornography into any relationship. If you are a single guy, it can also have detrimental effects to the expectations of future lovers. Here are a few ways that adult films can actually be bad for you.

It Raises Your Expectations A Little Too High

Porn is the equivalency of fantasy. When you start watching it, it is very easy to fall into the trap of living out your sexual fantasies through the characters in the movie. Lusting after porn stars that are willing to do anything can easily be detrimental to relationship that you have been in for a while or a relationship that might just be starting out. When your partner sees women that have an insatiable appetite for sex, it can put a lot of pressure into the relationship.

Guys who are single can also expect new lovers to try different positions or activities based on the adult movies they have watched. This expectation for a lover to live up to the porn stars in the movies can also create tension that would not have been there otherwise. The reality is that most women do not have the libido that men have. Not all women are shaped to the way that they are in pornography.

When men watch too much porn, they can easily push women into doing things that they do not feel comfortable with. They can also start to believe that certain sex acts are universally loved by all women.

It Desensitizes You To Sex

Porn can easily desensitize you to actual sex, leaving you with an unsatisfying feeling when you have real sex. Sex is not about getting off as hard or as fast as you can. Sex should be about the love between two consenting adults. The problem with pornography is that it will subconsciously leave you with a feeling of wanting more. This can easily turn into a vicious cycle to lowers the amount of pleasure that you feel when you are not only watching porn, having sex in real life.

If you have been watching it for a long time, you will start to see just how desensitized you have become. A video that got you really turned on two years ago may not do it for you now. Before there were things like the Internet, guys had to rely on things such as magazines or old-school pinup pictures of women. Now that the Internet is a full-fledged information machine and you can basically watch any kind of movie you want after just a few clicks, the desensitization can easily get out of control.

Porn Objectifies Women

Probably the worst thing about the adult industry is that it caters to men by objectifying women. Although there are videos that show women in control, they are not in control because of their mind or because of their physical abilities. They use their sexuality to get what they want. Pornography turns women into things that are pretty much there to satisfy the man’s sexual urge. Women should be loved because of who they are and not because of what they can provide a man sexually.

It’s Easy To Become Addicted To It

Because of all of these reasons, porn can easily become addicting. Anything that offers instant gratification can become addicting, however, pornography is becoming more and more accessible. With the invention of mobile internet, a lot of porno websites are starting to launch mobile versions of their site. While this can be great for mobile commerce, this can lead to temptation for men finding it hard to resist their addictions.

Porn is a different beast than alcohol or drugs. Porn is not illegal if you are of age. It is not even bad for the body in a physical sense, so it’s hard to regulate this for the normal male. Watching too much porn can lead to porn addiction when masturbating.

Porn, like alcohol or sweets, can be fun and harmless in small doses. However, if you start to go overboard, you might find it difficult to form a healthy relationship with a woman who is not as kinky as you. Talk with your partner or any potential partners about their views on the subject before you expose them to the kind of porn that you like.