Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for orgasm

The 9 Types Of Orgasms – And How To Give Them!

By

Orgasms for a man are EASY to understand. You simply thrust, get aroused, finish, and go to sleep. Most men can only have one type of climax – after which they usually lose their erection temporarily before they can get hard and have another.

Women however, can have MANY different kinds!

These range from those that are barely noticeable to her man, to SCREAMING, TOE-CURLING, even bed soaking squirting orgasms (Woo!) There are also many different ones in between those extremes! Unlike men, the TYPE of climax a woman has is often 100% CONTROLLABLE by her sexual partner (you)!

One of the first steps to giving your girl the strongest orgasms of her life is RECOGNIZING that YOU have control over them.

Lucky you!

You should never blame your girl for not coming. Always be honest with yourself, and ask yourself if you are really sexually satisfying her. Let’s talk about some of the kinds of climaxes women are capable of having.

Foreplay Orgasms

These take place during foreplay (or “pre-penetration.”)

Foreplay orgasms are so important, because they allow your lover to “warm up” and have multiple orgasms later when you penetrate her. Every GREAT lover should have the following in his playbook:

Nipple Climax

Not all women can have a climax through nipple stimulation alone, but since a personally know a few who can, so I had to put it in here to make the article complete!

Clitoral Orgasm

This climax concentrates on the clitoris. Not as intense as the deep spot and other vaginal orgasms but still a great warm up and relatively easy to do.

“Deep Spot” Climax

The “deep spot” climax is often the first time many woman have a true “internal” orgasm, as it’s usually easier for a woman to have one of these than it is for her to have one during sex.

“G-Spot” Climax

The g-spot climax is similar to the deep spot but not quite as intense. Still a great orgasm to have in the bag of tricks to get her “primed” for multiples during sex.

Now let’s talk about some of the orgasms women are capable of having during PENETRATION:

Penetration Orgasms

Vaginal Orgasm

Normal climax while you are inside of her, much like the “deep spot” orgasm. Usually more intense than any foreplay orgasm but for some woman very difficult to achieve. Far easier to achieve AFTER a foreplay orgasm.

Anal Climax

This occurs when you have a clitoral or vaginal orgasm during anal sex. It feels very different to a girl than a clitoral or vaginal orgasm alone.

Multiple Orgasms

Multiple orgasms are when your lover has an orgasm and you give her another (or many) orgasms right after. This is different than the continuous orgasm which is described next.

Continuous Orgasm

This is when your girl has an orgasm but instead of letting her sexual excitement come down (as many women think they have to because they are sensitive) you INSTEAD keep going and often even harder. This causes her to start climaxing UNCONTROLLABLY and over and over. With a continuous climax she will often be EXHAUSTED after and will always say she had not idea how many orgasms she had. 99% of women need to be verbally talked through a continuous climax as it is rare that previous lovers have EVER done this to her. She also has no way to do this herself through masturbation. If you make your girl have one of these, she just might become sexually addicted to you, so only do this with a girl you REALLY like!

Squirting Orgasm

Ah, the mysterious one! Well first of all I will tell you, squirting orgasms are VERY REAL and every woman has the “equipment” to have one! Let’s just say they’re a lot of fun!

So there you have it. Being a girl does have SOME advantages!

5 Mistakes You Don’t Want To Make When Giving Your First Blowjob

By

Your first blowjob should be great – not a disaster. A lot of women make mistakes when it comes to giving their guy head, and most of the time, little issues will be overlooked because it feels so good. However, if you screw it up big time, he won’t want it from you again! Here’s what you want to avoid when giving a first blowjob.

Using Your Teeth

It may seem like a good idea to graze your guy’s shaft lightly with your teeth or giving the head of his penis a little nibble (you like your clitoris nibbled every once in awhile, so why wouldn’t he?), but really, it’s not. Teeth can hurt and unless your man is a super masochist and enjoys cock and ball torture, letting him feel your pearly whites during fellatio is going to turn him off before you even know what happened.

Avoid using your teeth during your first blowjob by wrapping your lips tightly over them. Make sure your lips are well lubricated, either by your saliva or a good flavored lube. If your lips are dry, they won’t slide well over the shaft of your partner’s penis.

Sucking Too Hard

Lots of girls think that the harder they suck during fellatio, the more pleasurable it will be for a man. While a little bit of sucking, and even firm sucking if he’s close to orgasm is a good thing, if you do it too hard, you’re going to do much more harm than good. It may actually feel too sensitive or be painful for you to suck on his penis very hard, and it will turn him off when you do.

In this case, light sucking and licking is going to be sufficient here. Start out with light licking to tease him and get him warmed up (guys need foreplay too), and then progress to moderate sucking as he gets more and more turned on. Don’t cross the threshold though and do it too hard or too furiously.

Not Listening To His Cues

It’s crucial to listen to a man’s cues during fellatio. His body language will tell you if you’re on the right track or not. A man will thrust his pelvis towards your face, grab your hair or head and vocalize their pleasure when it’s feeling really good. If you’re not getting these results, change what you’re doing – you’re either hurting him or just not doing enough.

Also, don’t assume that if he likes something at first, that he’s going to like it the entire time you’re giving him head. Your technique should vary throughout the duration (seriously, who wants boring fellatio from a one trick pony?) and increase in intensity as he gets closer and closer to orgasm. His non-verbal cues will vary – he may start out gasping for breath and bucking furiously when you start a certain technique, but he may soon relax and get comfortable with it. In which case, you need to move on to a different technique ASAP.

Seeming Bored With It

Enthusiasm is 50% of a great first blowjob. Don’t ruin great fellatio by acting like you really would rather be doing something else. When guys fantasize about getting head, they often fantasize about whoever is doing it being really excited to do it. If you act bored with the act or don’t seem like you’re into it at all, he’s going to pick up on it immediately.

Some guys don’t vocalize their pleasure during oral sex, making it difficult for a woman to feel into it. Encourage him to show you that he’s enjoying it so you can get off on his pleasure too.

Choosing The Wrong Oral Sex Positions

There’s nothing more awkward than a woman trying to get into an oral sex position that bends a man’s penis a strange way. She may think that she’s being adventurous or exciting by doing it this way, but it really just takes away from his pleasure. Make your first blowjob all about your technique and pick a simple, tried and true oral sex position that you know will work.

Try giving him oral sex while he’s standing and you’re kneeling. Place a pillow underneath your knees so you stay comfortable. You can also have him lie on the bed with you cuddled up in between his legs. This allows you a little less control and makes it difficult for him to watch you, but you can prop his head up with pillows to give him a great view.

Female Orgasm – Squirting 101

By

The ability to squirt during orgasm is perhaps one of the more elusive and taboo parts of a woman’s anatomy. Squirting can be a huge turn on for guys and it can intensify an orgasm for a woman ten fold. Many people believe that squirting isn’t something women can do at all, but in recent years it has been proven that women can indeed squirt. So what is squirting anyways?

What Is Squirting?

Squirting for women is much like ejaculating is for a man. All women have a functioning prostate gland that starts producing fluid when a girl begins to go through puberty. This fluid is what is ejaculated from the vulva when a woman “squirts.” It does not come from the vagina nor does it come from the urethra, where urine is expelled. It comes from its very own special gland called the Skene’s gland. This gland is present in all women and its sole function is to serve as an exit for a woman’s prostate fluid. However, not all women can or will squirt during their lifetimes!

What Is The Fluid Made Of?

The fluid a woman ejaculates when she squirts is a clear, very thin and watery fluid. It can sometimes be milky in color, and posseses its very own odor. It does not contain any sperm, but it does contain higher levels of glucose and enzymes that are similar to male semen. Many people who were or are skeptical about a woman’s ability to squirt have said that the fluid ejaculated during orgasm is simply urine, but this has been scientifically disproved. A woman may feel like she is about to urinate when she is getting ready to squirt, but true squirting consists only of this special fluid from the prostate gland. Female ejaculate is also separate from the fluid the vagina naturally makes during sexual arousal. The fluid made by the vagina during sexual arousal is often thicker and more sticky, while female ejaculate is more of a transparent type liquid.

Stimulating The G-Spot

To make a woman squirt, it requires intense g-spot stimulation. Use very firm pressure! A woman will not squirt if not enough pressure is used. However, it is important that a woman be relaxed and extremely turned on before attempting to make her squirt. For a woman to squirt, she must be comfortable enough to completely let go, because if any part of her is holding back, she’s not going to be able to squirt. Starting with firm pressure isn’t going to do anything but make her uncomfortable. Get her very wet and very turned on before you begin stimulating her g-spot and prostate gland. Stimulate her labia, her vagina and her clitoris first, or at the same time that you stimulate her g-spot. Have patience, because it will usually take a few to several tries before squirting is actually acheived.

There is nothing wrong or abnormal about female ejaculation – in fact, quite the opposite! Squirting can deeply enhance a woman’s orgasms and spice up a couple’s sex life tremendously. Every woman can learn how to squirt – she just has to learn to let go!

4 Things You Need Before Giving A Handjob

By

A handjob seems easy enough to do, not always. If you want to give your guy the handjob of his life, be sure to have these handjob essentials before you start.

There are several things you need to do before getting started on your man’s member. While he doesn’t have to do as much grooming and freshening up for a handjob (think of it as a great way to please your man after he’s mowed the lawn), you may have to put in a little more effort on your part.

1. Groom Your Hands

Make sure your hands are soft and your nails are clipped. Nothing can be more frustrating than for a man to be quite aroused but having his penis get snagged by a hangnail mid-job. Generally, women have soft hands but if you notice any calluses or rough spots, you might want to take care of those first before beginning the massage.

Get some good lotion and let the lanolin soak in so your hands will the soft as an infants. Last but not least, be aware if you have any cuts or open sores on your hand. If you do and aren’t sure if your partner has a sexually transmitted disease (or if you know that he does), be sure to wear latex or vinyl gloves for the job. Gloves are also great if you do have calluses or rough spots on your hands and most guys love them (contrary to popular belief) because it gives the massage a slicker, more uniform feeling.

2. Use Lube!

Get some lube. No, lotion simply won’t do – it is too thick and gloppy! Think twice before using oil if you plan on having intercourse using a condom later (it can break down a condom quickly). Lube isn’t that expensive and works much better for the task at hand (no pun intended) – make sure you get the water based lubricant as well.

Have it ready by the bed (or venue of choice) so that when you begin, you can easily coat your hands and your partner’s penis with the substance. You can put it in a bucket of hot water or even a small crock pot so it stays warm throughout the handjob. You will most likely need to reapply throughout the massage. Slipperier/wetter is better!

There are now all sorts of “fantasy” lubes on the market now. You can get lube that warms, lube that cools, is flavored, is organic (no chemicals) or even desensitizes which is good if your man comes too quickly with your touch.

Note: IF YOU ARE GOING TO USE OIL – one recommendation is to use grape seed oil. It slides well and is all natural. You can pull it out of the cabinet in the kitchen for an impromptu handjob while dinner is simmering. Never use oil if you plan to use a condom later – the oil will degrade the condom and make it more susceptible to tearing or breakage.

3. Get Your Stuff Together

Have other items of interest ready. This goes without saying, really. If you plan on using gloves or condoms for added protection, have those ready to go (it helps to have the condom already unwrapped). If you want to use edible items or other props (such as feathers, etc.) you will want to get those out and set up next to the area in which you will be giving the genital massage.

Less time fumbling around with items that you’re going to use equates to a more enjoyable experience with your partner. Also make sure any toys you might be using are within reach.

4. Get Comfortable

Make your partner comfortable – and you too! This is actually a very important part regarding erotic massage that is often given very little or no thought. First of all, if your partner is not comfortable, his enjoyment will be hindered somewhat – making it more difficult for him to have an orgasm or the fantastic one you are planning to give.

If the woman is uncomfortable, she will tire of massaging her partner’s genitals more quickly and easily than if she were set up well and relaxed. So, unless you are wanting the handjob to be “risky” or “surprising” (like in his office or in the woods), find a comfortable place in which to give your partner the genital massage. You can also add extra comfort by propping either you or your partner (or both!) up on soft pillows.

Be sure to position yourself so that your hands and arms will not become tired easily. The bed is an obvious choice but also consider a sofa (one that is protected or cleans up easily) or an office chair that leans back. Most men do like to lounge back while they are masturbating or receiving handjobs as it is usually a comfortable position and allows for the thrusting of the hips.

Female Masturbation – 5 Shower Favorites!

By

Female masturbation exists and the tub is one of the ladies’ preferred places because it’s so easy and private. Here are five ways women masturbate in the tub!

With A Detachable/Massage Showerhead

This is perhaps the easiest female masturbation techniques for the bathtub. A detachable showerhead is perfect, because it allows the girl to aim the stream of water wherever she wants it – either on her whole vulva or directly on the clitoris. A massage showerhead is even better, because it features several different pulsating patterns. A detachable massage showerhead is pretty much a water squirting vibrator.

A massage showerhead that doesn’t detach is still a female masturbation fave, because a girl can still lie on the bottom of the tub underneath the water, and let the water pulsate on her vulva. She can angle her body any way she likes to get the sensations she desires.

Under The Bathtub Faucet

This works well for women who either have only a tub or can’t use their showerhead for female masturbation for one reason or another. A woman will scoot her bottom up all the way to the front of the tub, so she can place her vulva directly underneath the running tub faucet. This works better for smaller women or ladies who are more flexible, because the position required to get adequate stimulation to the clitoris can be quite difficult to get into.

With A Waterproof Sex Toy

Having a waterproof sex toy on hand is probably the easiest way to get off in the water. Female masturbation has endless possibilities when you use sex toys to reach orgasm. A waterproof sex toy can be used while standing in the water or submerged in the tub.

A few tips for buying sex toys for the tub:

  • Look for rechargeable ones that don’t require batteries. They are longer lasting and much easier to use.
  • Pay attention to whether it is “waterproof” or “splashproof.” “Splashproof” generally means that bodily fluids and some splashing won’t bother it, but it’s not really suitable for the tub. Don’t assume anything is waterproof just because it looks like it is – make sure the box or toy specs state that it is.
  • Invest in silicone lube. It works much, much better in the water and doesn’t rinse right off like water based lube does. Yeah, you’ll need soap and water to get it all the way off, but it lasts longer in a wet environment. Just make sure any sex toys you’re using with silicone lube aren’t also made out of silicone as this will degrade your toy more quickly.

Good, Old Fashioned Fingering

Some girls are incredibly discreet about their female masturbation habits. For this reason, many of them choose not to use any sex toys that could get them caught. This is also why the bathroom is such a great place for masturbation – you can do so under the ruse of washing up and usually no one will bother you.

Many women will simply use their fingers when masturbating in the bathroom. Fingers are readily available and covering up what you’re doing should someone walk in the bathroom is much easier since you don’t really have anything to hide anywhere.

Electric Toothbrushes, Shampoo Bottles, Etc.

Many ladies get creative when it comes to female masturbation in the bathroom. If they don’t have any sex toys on hand (which many girls don’t because they don’t want to spend the money or are afraid someone will find their stash), they can use a variety of things that are already in the bathroom.

For example, some girls use a spinning toothbrush on their clitoris instead of a vibrator. While a sex toy is much, much easier to use (and better) than a toothbrush, you can’t usually leave your sex toys out on the counter next to everyone else’s toothbrushes without getting caught. Slick shampoo bottles and even bars of soap can be used to slide around the clitoris during a bath.

Investing in a great sex toy to use in the bath is probably your best bet, but if you’re in a pinch, look around – you probably have something you can use. Just steer clear of razors of any kind (ouch!) and make sure you have another toothbrush on hand you can use if you end up getting yours “dirty.” In fact, buying a brand new one from the store so you can distinguish between the two is probably a really good idea.