Relationship Advice

The Right Way To Break Up With Someone

A break up isn’t fun for either partner, but sometimes it’s just necessary. Here’s how to break up with someone the right way & minimize hurt feelings.

What She Said About The Right Way To Break Up:

Breaking up is never easy but if you want to do it the “right” way you need to be completely honest with the other person. This honesty needs to happen face to face also. So don’t be the ass who broke up with someone via text or email. I don’t care if the relationship was short lived, be respectful and end it like an adult. If you are done with the relationship then you need to save both of you time and pain and end it. Sort of like ripping off a band aid, don’t draw it out.

When you draw it out by asking for space or time to think you are just making things worse and you know you want to end it but are just trying to be nice. You have to end it and be done with it all the while you need to give the person your reasoning for ending it. Don’t leave them questioning what they could or should have done different or make them question your reasons for ending it. Be honest about why you are breaking up. It might not be easy and it might hurt, but it’s a hell of a lot easier to tell the truth then leave them hanging with no clear reason of the break up. It hurts when you hurt someone you care about but in the long run it would hurt even more if you lied to them just to protect their ego.

Long Term Relationships

If you are ending a long term relationship, be prepared for a lot more hurt and be prepared to have solid reasons why you are instigating the break up. Do not give them the line “It’s not you, its me” because it’s them, everyone knows it’s them. After you do break up, you need to have the courtesy to return their stuff, anything that belongs to them that they left at your place.

Then rid your self of things that remind you of them. I am not a follower of feng shui but it makes sense that personal items can illicit emotions and holding on to their items might bring negative energy into your life. So go ahead and throw away their tooth brush and any other mementos that serve no purpose.

When it comes to social media like Facebook, it might be best to “hide” them from your feed and do not overly boast about your newly singleness. You can easily hide your own relationship status from your feed without having to declare that you are single. Also, cut off your communication with them and do not text or call. Your ex will need time to heal from the break up, to cry, to be sad, to be mad, etc. and since you are the cause of these emotions, you can no longer be a shoulder to cry on.

Short Term Relationships

If you are ending a short term relationship you still need to give your ex the same respect, but you don’t need to be so dramatic about it. Yes give them a reason why you are breaking up, but honestly you don’t need to worry too much about hurting them. You should still not make a big deal about the breakup on Facebook. If it was a short term relationship, you shouldn’t worry about taking new pics with other guys or being out and loving being single.

You might even want to consider defriending the person if you two don’t have many ties (e.g. similar friends). It can still be messy but just take into account their feelings and try not to destroy them. On that note, do not even mention being “just friends” that may come in time but if you just broke the heart of a person who cared for you, you need to distance yourself and do it fast.

The main idea here is whether you were in a long term or short term relationship, if you have fallen out of love, met someone else or no longer love your partner the same way that you used to and want to end it, then end it. Put your foot down and break up. This is for your sake and for their sake too.

What He Said About The Right Way To Break Up:

Think of it as what it is: you’re firing someone. HR doesn’t give you a long drawn out emotional speech. They state the reasons, quickly and simply. It’s the bullet points they give you, not the in depth explanation. You don’t need it anyway, you already know what’s going on. They hand you your last check and then escort you out of the building. It’s not painless, it’s just as painless as possible.

That’s the way your break up should be. If you have their stuff, hand it to them when you break up, or just mail it back. Tell them simply and efficiently why it’s over. Then walk away or end the call. Less is more. The whole process should take no longer than five minutes. It may seem harsh, but it’s not. You’re just being professional about it and no one is really going to want this drawn out anyway.

Should You Date Someone Who Still Lives With Their Parents?

By dicksinthecity

Should you date a person who still lives with their parents, or should you call the date off without getting to know them? What is the right thing to do?

You’ve met someone. You like them. They like you. You really hit it off. But there’s a small problem. They live at home. With their parents. And they aren’t in college anymore. Should you date them? Should you kick them to the curb?

What She Said About The Date:

Yes, but if it is a temporary living situation. Lots of men (and women) are forced to move back in with their parents for different reasons but that doesn’t mean that they are a loser. People get laid off, people get out of relationships and sometimes they need to shack up with mom and dad for a few weeks. Things happen, but if a guy lives at home and is adamant about getting out soon or knows it is only temporary then cut him some slack.

If you meet a great guy who happens to be in between jobs then that’s okay. The key is that he knows he needs to be constantly looking for a better job and has drive and passion. If this guy never left home (and he is over 21) then you should not date him! If he spends all day on the couch playing video games and has his mom dad his laundry you should not date him!! Your life is not a romantic comedy and he is not Matthew McConaughey. You should have the instinct to know if he is a loser or not and living at home should not be an immediate red flag. His way of handling it should be.

You can’t fault him for getting laid off or needing to be home to help an ailing parent. And he should talk about getting out there, on his own feet and actually do things that prove he is trying. Dating a guy who has had some financial problems but has passion is a lot better then dating a guy who has his own place but is a douche bag.

What He Said About The Date:

Yes, there was that movie where Matthew McConaughey got tons of sex while living at home, but that’s only because A) it’s a movie and B) he looks like Matthew McConaughey and he can get sex even if he had a strap on dildo attached to his chick. Which is reason 3,432,324,993,120 that ever man hates him and will kill him if they have a chance and think they can get away with it.

Does the fact that your partner lives with their parents make them a bad person? Well, they certainly aren’t a serial killer (that you know of) but it’s not a great sign either. Sure, things happen, but when you have to have wild hot, nasty, “knock stuff over” kind of sex, where are you going to go to have the intercourse exactly? In the car? At your place? In the park? Camping? You definitely want to take into account logistics of actually spending time together (and yes, having sex) when your date lives at home with the ‘rents.

There’s only so many times you can take your partner to the swingers club just so you can have sex without having to worry about waking your parents before it gets old. Sure, that’s at least six months to a year away, but it can and will happen.

Dating a partner who lives at home is like anything else, it can be a deal breaker, but if they’re the right person, then they’re the one? Who cares if they’re in their late 40’s, living at home and their mom is still doing their laundry and cutting the crust of their sandwiches? What’s wrong with that? Nothing, that’s what.

Dating a guy or girl just because they have money isn’t a great reason to date someone, but it tends to be a quite comfortable one. You don’t need money to have a good time and dating doesn’t require money, if you have ample amounts of creativity. So you shouldn’t just kick someone to the curb automatically for lack of funds. Give it a go, and see how it feels. You might really like this person. There’s no point in killing a relationship for no good reason.

You should always give them enough room to hang themselves or rope you in. Then, if you get to that point, where you know definitively how you feel about them and more importantly what kind of relationship you want from them, then you can make the call and go forward from there.

Should You Schedule A Date Night?

By loveandsex

A date night could easily be the missing ingredient to your relationship. So many men and women find themselves distanced from their partners after a long week. Most of the time couples deal with a stressful week by unwinding in front of the television or heading out with friends. This is normal, especially when you’re in a long term relationship, but it’s not necessarily a good thing.

While sitting in front of the TV might be relaxing for some, this doesn’t exactly help out the relationship. A date night can be a welcome surprise and bring that spark back between the two of you. There are several reasons that you might need to schedule a date night. Some couples believe that having to schedule a date night means that there is a problem in the relationship. However, this is not necessarily true. Here are a few reasons that you should actively schedule a date night.

You’re On The Books

A date night will put something on the books. It shows your guy that you are committed to spending time with him and it shows you that he is committed to spending time with you. When you put something on the books you have made the commitment and you should not back out of it. Some people make empty promises to their partners in the vein of “Yeah, we’ll head to dinner some time this week or something.” This kind of phrasing and ambiguousness doesn’t really put confidence into the relationship. Scheduling a date night will lock them down without dispute, giving both a time and place to spend some much needed quality time together.

Work Schedules

There are instances where people have very demanding jobs. This is becoming more and more of an issue, because people are working long hours simply to make ends meet and pay the bills. Just because you have a demanding job doesn’t mean that you can’t have a great relationship. You don’t have to sacrifice one for the other. In the event that you do have a demanding job, scheduling a date night might be needed. There are times when jobs require insane amounts of overtime.

If you or your partner has a demanding job then you should consider scheduling a date night so you do not schedule anything in its place by accident. Just because you have to schedule a date night doesn’t mean that you don’t care about the relationship. It simply means that you have other obligations and responsibilities that must be tended to.

You Have Something To Look Forward To

The day to day activities of life can easily make it mundane. Monday turns to Tuesday, which turns to Wednesday and you’re doing the same thing over and over again. When you schedule a date night with your partner, you have something to look forward to. You have something that will make your week go by a little faster and you can put up with some of the monotony until you reach the coveted night. Consider date ideas and think about what you want to do or what you want to eat. These can help you get excited about the date and forget about the pressures of work and family if for just a second.

Reservations

If you’re taking your partner to a romantic, high end restaurant, scheduling a date night is essential. Some restaurants require reservations up to a week in advance depending on how popular they are. If you schedule a date night then you can get a reservation way before the good times fill up. Getting into a trendy restaurant the day of can be a challenge.

Even if you can get a reservation it might not be at the time that you want. If you are going to a movie, a play or you have another event planned, having a reservation at the best time possible will work to your advantage.

A Date Night Can Breathe New Life Into A Relationship

Remember back to the time that you first started dating your partner? Do you remember how it felt to get dressed up and go out on the town? How he or she made you feel special because you had then on your arm? You can still have that feeling when you schedule a date night with your partner.

Schedule a date night and then go out and buy a new dress or dress shirt for the occasion. Watch how your partner’s eyes light up when they see you in your new outfit. Whether you have been working too hard or the relationship has felt a little distant lately, having a date night can easily bring the two of you back together again.

5 Ways To Get Her To Be Better At Sex

By loveandsex

Sex tips aren’t something you can just give to a partner who is bad at sex – you have to be gentle about it. Here’s how to nudge your lover in the right direction.

Having sex with a girl that doesn’t really know what she is doing can be very frustrating. Nobody wants to sleep with a dud. A girl that is inhibited by her sexuality or simply does not know how certain positions make you feel can easily leave you exhausted with your sex life.

Just because the girl doesn’t really know what she’s doing, it doesn’t mean that you should end the relationship. You can turn this around by some simple communication exercises. Here are a few suggestions for getting her to be better at sex.

1. Talk To Her

Maybe she knows that your sex life is on the rocks, but maybe she doesn’t. For you know, she could think that everything is hunky dory. Talk to your girlfriend or wife and tell her that you think the sex could be improved. Every relationship has problems and sex is a very common one.

Talking to your wife will let her know that you are not satisfied with the sex, but willing to work on it so the relationship can improve. An improved sex life will lead to an improved relationship from an overall standpoint. You don’t want to be negative about your sex life. Keep things light and positive.

2. Find Out Her Fantasies

There is nothing that is going to get a girl enjoying herself more in the bedroom than exploring her very own sexual fantasies. When a girl is exploring her fantasies, she is going to be much more open to leaving her inhibitions at the door. Talk to her about what she finds hot. One of the problems with guys is they are centered on what they want in the bedroom rather than what their partner wants.

Your sex life should be filled with compromise. If your girl comes back and says that she wants to try something that you’re not really that thrilled about, go with it. When she sees that you’re compromising with her fantasies, she’s going to be more open to your fantasies.

3. Be The Guy She Wants To Change For

Whether you need to schedule more date nights or make more time for her in your every day life, be the guy that she wants to change for. Sex can be a never-ending conundrum. You don’t want to change because you’re not getting the sex that you want.

She doesn’t want to have sex because you’re not changing for her. Break this cycle by helping her out whenever possible. Make sure she has gas in her car. Do the laundry without being asked. When she is not worried about other things in her life, she will be more carefree and more open to feel the emotions she needs to make you happy.

4. Work On The Relationship

Sometimes a girl will be lethargic about sex because the relationship has other issues. Whether she is worried about the longevity of the relationship or if there have been infidelity issues, working on the relationship will definitely improve the sex. Reaffirm how much you care for her every day. Do little things that will make her feel special. No girl or guy wants to be in a relationship that isn’t going anywhere.

Sure casual relationships can be fun for a while, but the passion eventually wears off. A relationship cannot be sustained by sex alone. Realizing this and working on your relationship is a great way to get her to be more open about sex and better in bed.

5. Teach Her

Guys love it when women are vocal in bed. Why wouldn’t it be the other way around? When you are having sex, don’t be afraid to tell her what you want. Try to avoid things that are light-years ahead of the norm. For instance, don’t tell her that you want to have anal sex with her if you have never done it or ever discussed it. If you want to try a new position or you want her to go faster or slower, tell her.

Women aren’t mind readers. They might be able to pick up on a few things here or there, but telling her what you want outright is a surefire way to easily get the positions that you like. If she’s doing something wrong, correct her in a positive manner. Never criticize her during or after sex. The last thing that you want is for her to get embarrassed or ashamed of her techniques. Use positive reinforcement and you will start to see a vast improvement in your sex life.

How To Have A Great Date Night With Your Partner

By dicksinthecity

Dating tips just aren’t for singles – they can help couples improve their relationship and make their sex life hot again. Try these killer date ideas.

Date night – we all know they’re important for anyone in a long term relationship. Date nights are crucial to the overall health and success of your relationship. But how do you have a really, really great one? What dating tips do you need to take your date nights from good to great?

What She Said:

Having a great date night takes effort. If you are in a long term relationship, you never want to get too predictable or too comfortable. To avoid boredom on your date you need to do something expected at an unexpected time. For example. if you always go out on Saturday, why not switch it up and go out on a date on a Tuesday. Or maybe you can surprise them at work and bring them lunch. Little changes will surprise and delight your other half. most importantly, you should do something you know your man would love to do but it ight not be your first choice.

Get tickets to his favorite sports team. Or instead of going to a restaurant you always go to, find a hole in the wall pub. If he always pays, why not pick up the check and take him out on a date! Tell him the time and pick him up. Drive him to the place and pay for everything. Its a super sweet gesture that will make your man feel loved! But if you do take him out, make sure he knows that he is required to put out at the end of the date.

What He Said:

The most important way to have a great date night is to have a date night in the first place. Pick a night of the week, or month or whatever and make that date night in your day planner. Set that date night in stone. Let nothing get in the way of it. Not friends, not family, not kids, nothing! You must ruthlessly protect date night from all threats, foreign and domestic. Yes, it may seem extreme, but it’s for a reason.

There are many legitimate reasons you may think you should cancel or reschedule your date night. But if you wait to the right time for date night, it’s never going to happen. Life happens so fast and before you know it, skipping one date night turns into skipping several and then you wonder why your relationship is in trouble.

Don’t let it get there. Have date night, no matter what.

After you’ve established your date night routine, it’s important to break it. The biggest threat to date night aside from not having it at all is allowing it to get stale and predictable. It could be something big like a weekend trip somewhere or something simple, like driving to the fancy pat of town and having coffee.

Another great way to spice up date night is to go back to the beginning. If you’re in the phase of your relationship where you’re having “date night” it’s safe to say you’re past the honeymoon phase. That’s natural, but that doesn’t have to mean the relationship gets stale and boring. Think back to your favorite memories from the early days of your relationship.

Recreate them whenever possible, and if you really want to add fireworks, try combining them (think sex in the backseat of a car in public while on vacation, for example). It’s worth the effort and even better, you’ll find yourself creating new, exciting memories and adding spark and sizzle to your relationship.

Date night is like the booster rocket attached to your relationship. It will help your relationship break the atmosphere and take things to the next level. You don’t just have one booster rocket attached to your space shuttle of love. You have several. They each burn for a while, then they run out of fuel and fall off.

This will keep happening until you are out of rockets. Then you go to the space station of love, get some more rockets, refuel, take some vitamin e and ginseng and then you go back out into space, ready to explore and go deeper and deeper inside of the galaxy.

That’s how it is. You can never stop having date nights, and if you’re going to have them, you might as well do it right. It’s much easier to keep your relationship going that it is to go out, filter out all the losers, perverts, sex offenders and douchebags while looking for a new relationship. Keep the one you’ve got. It’s worth it.