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You are here: Home / Archives for sex tips

How Much Anal Sex Is Too Much?

By loveandsex

Anal sex requires some gentleness to begin with – you’ve really got to be aware of how hard you’re going, how fast you’re going and how much lube you’re using (probably not enough!) If you follow all of the anal sex “rules,” you should be pretty safe – but what if you’re doing it pretty much non-stop? Sure, you’re observing all of the precautions, but how can you tell if you’ve gone overboard with the backdoor action?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OORQSqlL7WA[/youtube]

Taking Precautions With Anal Sex

If you’ve read anything about anal sex at all, you probably already know that you have to take precautions. It’s not at all like vaginal sex. The anus doesn’t lubricate itself, so you want to make sure to use plenty of lube when you do engage in the backdoor fun. Also, going slow, communicating and working your way up in size (do not start with a giant dildo) is in order when it comes to anal sex. The tissue of the anus is very tender and thin, and can tear easily, so always be gentle and slow!

Make Sure You’re Relaxed And Aroused

A vagina can often be penetrated at any time – lube or no lube. There have been countless women who have succumbed to their partner’s wishes for a “quickie” and got it on without being relaxed or aroused – but the sex still took place, right? Not so with anal sex. The receiving partner must be relaxed and aroused for this to work properly! If the anus is not relaxed, it is going to be much, much more difficult for anything to be inserted – if it is possible at all.

Also, lube is not optional for anal sex! You may think it is for vaginal sex (and in some cases it is, but lube is always handy), but it is absolutely MANDATORY for backdoor action! Use a good, thick lube that doesn’t get sticky or dry out easily.

Starting With Sex Toys

A lot of people like to start anal play by using sex toys. This is because they can start small and work their way up (often, starting with just the fingers or a penis is too much at first) – and that’s a good thing. You can start with a tiny butt plug (they make ones that are really small) and graduate to larger objects as you become accustomed to the feeling. Always make sure that your anal sex toys have a flared or ring style base, or they can get lost in there!

When To Stop

It’s not hard to tell when you’ve had enough anal sex – in fact, knowing when to put the brakes on things is relatively easy. If you experience pain at all, it’s time to stop! Plain and simple. There’s no grey areas here – if it hurts at all, find something else to do! Other reasons to stop may be if you notice any bleeding, or if you just feel like something isn’t right. Listen to your body and when it tells you that it’s had enough, you should know it!

The “amount” of anal sex that crosses the line varies from person to person. One person may not be able to tolerate as much as another, so only you will know what the right “amount” is for you. Again, let your body guide you. If you feel discomfort, pain or just want to stop, go ahead and stop!

A Note On Desensitizing Lubes

Never use a desensitizing lube on your anus during any type of anal play. This actually “numbs” the area from feeling pain – which can seem like a good thing, but it’s not. If you’re not aware of any pain during anal sex, it’s likely something could go very wrong and you wouldn’t be aware of it until later. Pain is your body’s way of saying “Stop!”

Symptoms Of Anal Sex That Is Too Intense

If you’re having anal sex that is too intense or goes overboard, you may notice these things:

  • If you’ve been using big sex toys, such as a large butt plug (or your partner has a really big penis), you may notice that your anus stretches and it becomes more and more difficult to control your bowel movements
  • Pain or discomfort that goes beyond just when you’re having anal sex
  • Bleeding or hemorrhoids

Communicating With Your Partner

Communication is essential for successful anal sex. You want to be in constant communication about what feels good, and more specifically, what doesn’t. If something hurts, don’t be tempted to just “endure it” or “push through it” just because your partner enjoys it. And if you’re the giving partner, you definitely want to be asking your lover if everything is going okay on a regular basis.

Filed Under: Anal Sex Tagged With: anal sex, anal sex toys, lube, sex tips, Sex Toys

What Exactly Is The “Vulva?”

By loveandsex

Sex tips are all about what to do, right? Wrong! You’d be surprised at how many sex tips guys have read and still don’t know what a “vulva” is – do you?

Most Guys Don’t Know What It Is  – And Why It’s Different From The Vagina

An unfortunate amount of men are grossly uninformed about the vulva. Everyone knows about the vagina – that’s where the penis goes. When I say the word “clitoris,” there are some of you high five-ing each other going, “Hell, yeah, I know about the clit!” However, upon hearing “vulva,” most are either scratching their heads or answering something like, “It’s, you know, down there.” Well, it’s your lucky day. I’m going to explain what it is, and what exactly is “down there.”

The first thing that may surprise you is that the vulva is not a thing. It’s all the things. Contained in the vulva are the mons veneris, labia majora, the urethra, the clitoris, the vaginal opening, and the perineum. There are some other things in there, but for our purposes we’ll focus on just these.

Mons Veneris

The Mons Veneris is more commonly referred to as the Mound of Venus – the fatty tissue over the pubic bone. It is most easily distinguished by the fact that it is where the bush is. Or, if she is waxed, where the bush would be.

Labia Majora

Labia majora literally means “big lips.” I hope you are able to imagine where I’m going with this. They are the two folds that protect all the good stuff underneath. There is usually hair growing on them. However, again, in this day and age do not be shocked if that area is bare. Plus, it’s easier to see if labia majora are turning red. If they are, it means she’s turned on.

The Urethra

The little hole where the pee comes out. Don’t put your penis in there.

The Clitoris

If you do not know about the clitoris, you are in trouble, pal. This is the one and only place you can stimulate that will virtually guarantee an orgasm. It is covered with a thing called the “clitoral hood,” because it’s a hood – over the clitoris. Right up under there is the epicenter of nerve endings. If you can get your tongue, finger, or head of your penis on that spot, you have struck gold. Your woman will thank you dearly.

Vaginal Opening

Otherwise known to you as “Jackpot!” It is located below the urethra, and this is the place you can put your penis.

Perinium

The Perinium is a little known area of nerve endings. It is located between the vagina and the anus. You call yours a chode. If you lick that spot lightly, she’ll get a pleasant shock.

So, unless you’re referring to her actual vagina (you know, the Jackpot), then when you say “vagina,” you’re really talking about the vulva.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: clitoris, cunnilingus, female orgasm, oral sex, orgasm, sex tips, vagina

The TRUTH About The Clitoris (What You Never Dared To Ask!)

By lloydlester

The female orgasm doesn’t have to be elusive – just focus your attention on her clitoris and you’ll have her screaming your name over and over again!

Giving a woman the infamous clitoral orgasm has always been a mystery for many men. The breathtaking sexual release that accompanies each orgasm is something that most men never quite fathom. But inducing a clitoral orgasm is something that you should try to achieve in any lovemaking session.

Is It A Woman’s Thing?

Well, some men consider clitoral stimulation to be a woman’s personal task, and should be done by the woman during self-stimulation or masturbation. Personally, this is an unjust observation, because when it comes to a man’s sexual satisfaction, women are always willing to pleasure their partners. So why not fulfill her sexual cravings too? It takes two to make love, and when one partner is not sexually fulfilled, the relationship can easily get stagnated.

Multi-Tasking For Clitoral Ecstasy

When you are having intercourse, you should also explore different ways to give your female partner greater pleasure in bed. For example, when you are penetrating her, you should find ways to arouse her clitoris – that mound of flesh found anterior to the labia minora. This will greatly increase the odds of both of you achieving a simultaneous climax – something that many couples covet, but few actually achieve it.

Why Are Clitoral Orgasms Highly Favored?

Clitoral orgasm is very much favored because of one unique reason: it can be induced in many ways that most men can never imagine. You see, the clitoris is known to have many nerve endings, and thus is highly sensitive to stimulation. The plain, cold, and rusty sexual encounters can be livened up into hot and steamy sessions once the couple becomes inventive in bed.

Many women fancy thrilling sexual explorations through various ways of arousing the clitoris. Some women prefer direct stimulation while others find the ‘direct approach’ a little too sensitive to their liking. If you have the good fortune to observe how your partner stimulates herself, you will be able to tell exactly how she likes to be pleasured. You can then give her that pleasure exactly the way she wants it.

If there is only one thing you learn today, always remember that you should accept the fact that your woman needs stimulation to her clitoris during penetration in order to achieve an orgasm. Give her the clitoral orgasm that she wants (and certainly deserves), and the both of you will surely enjoy a more satisfying sex life to boot!

Filed Under: Orgasm Tagged With: clitoris, female orgasm, orgasm, sex tips

How Erotic Massage Can Turn Up The HEAT In Your Sex Life!

By loveandsex

Erotic massage can connect you with your partner in an intimate way that you’ve never experienced before. Here’s how to make your love life HOT again!

Complete & Total Connection

Imagine the pleasure you’d feel in being completely connected with your partner in terms of physical intimacy. This is what erotic massage can do for you! No matter what stage or condition your relationship is in, sensual massage can help take your relationship back to a reinvigorated state of excitement, as well as bring it to a whole other level. By touching your partner through the art of sensual massage, you can encourage your partner to bond and open up to you like never before.

The History Of Erotic Massage

Both royalty and commoners alike have practiced erotic massage for several centuries. It was practiced in many countries, including China, Egypt, and India, as well as in a variety of cultures around the world, such as by the Greeks, Egyptians, Celtics, and Aztec Indians. Over the years, it continued to develop into a respected form of art through which partners express both love and passion.

The Benefits Of Erotic Massage

The art of touch through sensual massage provides many benefits, not only for the recipient, but the practitioner as well—benefits that can greatly strengthen the bond between lovers. For men who complain of a lack of sexual desire in their female partners, sensual massage can bring about a great deal of positive change in their sexual relationships.

Sensual and erotic massage helps facilitate communication between couples through the simple act of spending quality time together in a caring and sensual manner. This helps to build greater trust and intimacy. Although the act of sex itself is a form of touch and intimacy, the problem is that it’s often over too quickly. For a man, sexual intercourse often results in focusing on his own performance and pleasure rather than his partner’s. As a result, the woman is often left dissatisfied.

One out of three woman is having difficulty achieving an orgasm. Even more women complain of feeling dissatisfied with sex. The reason for this is often due to men not taking the time to set the mood for their female partners. Instead, men have a tendency to move too quickly. As a result, for many women, sex becomes more of a chore than a pleasurable experience.

Women Aren’t Wired The Same

What many men don’t realize is that women are wired differently than men. While men are biologically programmed with an instinctive desire to have sex, women need to feel sexually aroused before they will want to have sex. Although it is easy for a man to get aroused by simply thinking about or seeing his female partner naked, a woman needs much more than that to feel sexually excited.

Some men who have learned this important lesson about women have tried turning to massage as a way to sexually stimulate their female partners. However, a lot of men have failed to achieve their desired results.

This is because many men don’t know how to give a massage. Instead of relaxing and sexually stimulating their partners, they wind up causing unintentional pain and discomfort, often times leaving their women with more stress than they had before the massage.

Improve Your Relationship

Incorporating sensual and erotic massage into your relationship is a great way to meet your partner’s innate need for physical touch. The blissful benefits of sensual touch can help relax, soothe, and even sexually stimulate your partner to the brink of pleasure.

By taking the time to learn how to perform these special massage techniques, you will know just how to go about providing a sensual massage that unlocks your partner’s desire for sex, unleashes her wild and playful side, and helps her achieve those mind-blowing orgasms she so desperately wants and needs!

Filed Under: Foreplay Tagged With: erotic massage, foreplay, have better sex, sex tips

Sex Tips: How To REALLY Please A Woman

By loveandsex

Sex tips will really help you up your game and learn how to bring a woman maximum pleasure – don’t think that you’re too advanced for THESE suggestions!

Men seem have a rather difficult time pleasing a woman. This is not because she lacks the right equipment to achieve orgasm. Men lack a real understanding of how female pleasure works. Most seem to have it in their heads that poking a woman in the vagina will give her screaming orgasms. However, this is way off base.

The walls of the vagina have very little in the way of pleasure building nerve endings. This is the reason that about 75% of women have never had an orgasm during intercourse. However, it’s not as difficult to make her cum as you, and often times she, has made it out to be.

Masturbation Is A Large Part Of A Woman’s Satisfaction

Most women masturbate. In fact, they masturbate much more than you think. In some cases it is the only way a woman gets off. When you’ve been ineptly prodding her nether regions to no avail, she usually thinks, “I’ll just finish this job myself later on.” She knows exactly where her glorious bundle of orgasm-inducing nerves is concentrated.

She can hit that spot and stay until climax, instead of getting bored, losing concentration, and wandering off the hot spot. Also, a woman feels fewer inhibitions on her own.

Her State Of Mind Plays A Role Also

A large part of a woman’s sexual satisfaction has to do with her state of mind. Women have not been socialized to like sex in the same way men have. They are taught to associate a certain amount of shame in conjunction with their sexuality. Even as they mature and discover themselves, it is still a very large barrier to break through. Related to this is the fact that sexual portrayals in media both disregard and objectify the female.

Women are the mechanisms of the male fantasy, and there is immense pressure to live up to that fantastical standard, which has little to do with her pleasure. Knowing how much you love to see Briana Banks screaming in ecstasy mere seconds into penetration could lead her to feeling sexually inadequate when a glance from your member doesn’t send her over the top. Pressure to orgasm practically guarantees its impossibility.

You Can’t Just Turn Her On Like A Switch

Finally, a man should know that sexual stimulation for a woman is not an on/off switch. Just because you touch her in a certain spot, does not necessarily mean you are going to make her orgasm. Before you even think about making contact with her clitoris, you need to prepare her in other ways.

Otherwise you’ll be fumbling around down there while she’s watching Everyone Loves Raymond on TNT. Kiss her, stroke her, caress her, and really value the woman in your bed. When she feels relaxed, comforted, and valued by the man in her bed, then she can achieve real sexual satisfaction.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: female orgasm, have better sex, orgasm, sex tips

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