sex tips – Page 48

Is Monogamy Overrated?

Monogamy seems to be the popular choice for couples in long term relationships – but is it necessary? Can you have a satisfying relationship without it?

What Other Relationship Options Are There?

You can’t argue that monogamy isn’t exactly the one size fits all relationship type we were taught growing up. Don’t believe me? Just hit the internet! It seems like there are all kinds of relationships out there (open relationships, swingers, polyamorists, just to name a few) and they all seem sexier than monogamy and they’re getting way better press too.

Is It Still Sexy?

Religious organizations will argue that monogamy is under attack. Really? I didn’t know swingers were breaking into people’s homes and making them have sex with other people. While monogamy isn’t exactly under attack, it’s kind of lost its luster. It’s about as sexy as flossing or paying your taxes on time. Sure, there’s something to be said for it, but there’s a good chance that something will put you to sleep.

That doesn’t make monogamy overrated, any more than a gun in and of itself is a bad thing. It depends on the application and the situation. If you go on a date and your date pulls out a hand gun, it’s probably not a good night for you. If a burglar is breaking into your home and you call the cops and all they do is try and put the bad guy on “time out” you’ll be wishing he/she was packing heat (get your mind out of the gutter people!).

It’s Hard Work

Monogamy isn’t what we thought it was. It’s not like you get in a monogamous relationship and then that’s it. Since you’re not having intercourse with other people by design, you have to work to maintain the spark, probably a lot harder than non-monogamous people, because they have the benefit of the spark that comes with being with and being desired by other people.

It’s Also Safer

Then again, monogamy, by default, may not be sexy, but it is safer. Since you’re aren’t fucking other people (as long as there is no infidelity) then you don’t have to worry about AIDS, herpes or any of those STD’s that scare the shit out people who are fucking around. You don’t need to wear condoms, if you’re not screwing other people and since you know you’re both clean and safe, you can do all kinds of crazy sex, wild intercourse, anal sex and whatever else you like with a clean conscience (and clean health record).

That can make monogamy seem a bit more appetizing. If variety is the spice of life, then monogamy is like eating your vegetables. People who practice non monogamy (I wonder if they ever got it right yet) will argue that monogamy is dead and that it can’t work and that it will always end with infidelity or a sexless marriage. That’s crazy. It’s statistically impossible that all monogamous relationships end up like that. Some of them have to be really great. Some married people have to be fucking more than porn stars, right? It’s just simple numbers.

Decide For Yourself What Is Best For You

Monogamy seems overrated largely because we get such a bad view on it. Sex sells and if it bleeds it’s news. Fear sells. No one is going to buy a copy of People Magazine to find out about the happily married celebrity couple that have been monogamous for years, have amazing sex and fall more in love every day. You just don’t hear about that. You know why? It’s nothing compared to the crazy coke head celebrities who go off and have sex with the poolboy all while living in an apartment.

Monogamy is what you make of it, assuming you decide to make something of it in the first place. You may not want to. That’s cool too. If you are into it, great! If you’re not, that’s great too. Just keep your mouth shut to the people who don’t share your view point. You can’t change them and just because monogamy (or non monogamy) doesn’t work for you doesn’t mean it doesn’t work for them. Monogamy isn’t overrated or underrated. That’s like saying Spicy Brown mustard is over rated or underrated. It’s mustard people. That’s it. You put it on your hot dog, if you like it on your dog, and if you don’t well, you don’t.

It’s really that simple. Monogamy is what it is. It’s not good or bad, it just means you don’t mess around. Well, with anyone other than your husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend. It’s not rocket science. If it works, it works. If it doesn’t it doesn’t. If your relationship ends it’s not monogamy’s fault. It’s yours.

5 Sex Games To Play When You’re Bored

By serenapaige

Sex games are great way to not only improve your sex life and intimacy but to also sure a common problem of boredom around the home. Many couples find that six games can be an excellent way to pass the time on rainy weekends or as a way to break up the monotony during the week.

If you would like to increase the intimacy in your relationship while also spicing up your sex life, these sex games are the cure you have been looking for. Here are 5 that you and your partner will love when you’re bored.

1. Meeting For The First Time

If you have ever had a one night stand you know the excitement that comes with meeting a new person. Building of the sexual tension between the two of you and not really knowing the other person can be a powerful aphrodisiac. If you’re looking for great sex game to play meeting for the first time can help you live out a fantasy of meeting your partner in a whole new light. Pick a local bar that you can meet each other at.

Have your partner dress-up and go to the bar at a specific time. Meet your partner at the bar and pretend that you’re both meeting each other for the first time. Try to pick up your partner and take her back to your place. Reenacting this one night stand scenario is an excellent way to live out fantasies that you have never explored before.

2. Power Control

Power control is a great game for couples who like to mix up the dominance in the bedroom. Get an egg timer and set it to 3 minutes. Determined which partner is going to be dominant first. Allow the egg timer to start and that partner will be the dominant one until the timer has reached the three minutes.

Once the timer has reached the three minutes, the dominance will shift to the other partner. Reset the timer each time. See how long each of you can last under this power struggle game. If you or your partner has an affinity for being the dominant or the submissive one in the bedroom, you will definitely find that this game will bring you out of your comfort zone.

3. Blindfold

The blindfold was made for sex. In this game, you or your partner will be blindfolded on the bed. They have to keep the blindfold on the entire time. The other partner must tease and caress their partner while the other doesn’t know what to expect next. This is a great game that you can play with each other and it incorporates trust and intimacy into the relationship. One of the features of this game is that it relies on the element of surprise and anticipation. The only rule to the game is that you can’t peek.

4. Master/Slave

It’s not the most original game, it’s a staple for a reason. The master slave relationship is usually found in the BDSM scene, but you can use a much more light version of the game for your regular romps in the bedroom. One of your is the master and the other is the slave. You can choose whether or not to blindfold, tie up or do anything else you deem appropriate to the slave. The slave must abide by all of your rules at all times.

If you are the master, make sure that you’re not pushing the limits on what your partner is going to feel comfortable with. The last thing that you want is for them to break character instead of being completely enticed with your sexual dominance.

5. Strip Poker

Strip poker has been seen in movies, TV shows and in the adult industry for a reason: it’s fun! Try your hand at strip poker with your wife or husband to really get a prize for winning. If your partner does not know how to play poker, teach them. Each time they lose a hand, they lose a piece of clothing.

If you really want to make things interesting, each of you can also bet sexual favors. For instance, you can bet a blowjob or an erotic massage on the hand instead of clothing. This is one of the best games to play on a rainy night or on a weekend getaway. Make sure that you have a proper deck of cards so there is no cheating and so neither of you has an unfair advantage over the other.

Are You Following These 4 Rules Of Foreplay?

By loveandsex

Foreplay is essential for great sex, but do you really know what you’re doing? Here are some before sex musts that you definitely don’t want to avoid.

Most men and women do not understand these rules and are, as a result, not as good at foreplay as they could be. These are important to learn now because when you and your partner are in the heat of the moment, you won’t have time to check back with each other. So let’s take a look at how the rules of it work.

1. No Genital Touching

Foreplay does not involve genital touching. Some couples I’ve worked with had the belief that if the woman was giving the man a handjob or if the man was playing with her clitoris, then they were engaging in foreplay. WRONG! It does not involve touching your partner’s genitals in any manner.

So when it comes to it, keep your hands away from your partner’s vagina until you know that she is well into the second stage (plateau). Also, if she tries to touch your penis, you should pull her hand away. By holding back, you’ll be increasing sexual tension in both of you.

2. Oral Sex Isn’t Foreplay

Foreplay is not the same as oral sex. Another problem I’ve encountered with couples is that they falsely believe that oral sex counts. While it’s true that some people would agree with that idea, the truth is that oral sex is just another variation of vaginal intercourse.

Also, refer back to the first guidelines and keep your hands (and your tongue) off of each other’s genitals.

3. Go Slow!

It should be slow. It is not meant to be a quick hurdle men have to jump over to get to the finish line. Instead, it is supposed to be a slow, gradual increase in sexual arousal and tension. When it’s done properly, women become so aroused that they will actually beg for penetration. Imagine how that would make you feel as a lover!

4. Foreplay Can Happen Anywhere!

It can begin anywhere. Another misconception about foreplay is that it must begin in the location where sex is going to happen. For example, if you are going to have sex in the bedroom, then foreplay starts when you get into the bedroom. WRONG!

Dirty Talk For Guys – What They REALLY Want To Hear

By dicksinthecity

Dirty talk will turn a man on like you wouldn’t believe! Here’s what to say to rev his engines and really get him going.

What She Said

Guys are visual creatures so it’s understood that once a lady is naked, he’s not listening to a word you are saying. Then again, even when women are fully clothed, guys have a hard time listening. All jokes aside, there are things women can say that men love to hear. A good place to start is with his best friend (and hopefully yours) his penis.

Praise him for how big it is and how it makes you feel. Regardless of the size, you should tell him it’s the biggest you have ever seen and even letting out a squeal of delight when you first lay eyes on it is a plus. While having sex you can exaggerate your moans and heavy breathing but be careful, there is a fine line between expressing your enjoyment and sounding like a porn star. Saying his name is also a super hot thing to do, as long as you remember what his name is.

Also throwing in some dirty talk is great! You don’t have to know that to say when it comes to dirty talk, you can just describe to him how amazing he is making you feel or even graphically tell him how bad or hard you want it. Words like “hot, wet, throbbing” are also good. Guys love to have their ego stroked and are competitive creatures and they want to know they can get you off and please you.

Basically the right things to say are anything that inflates his ego! Telling him he feels huge, or is the best you have ever had is a major win. Make your man feel like a superhero. If you really want to turn up the heat, saying, “Oh God, I am going to come,” will send him through the roof! So only, use that phrase when you have gotten what you want and are ready for your big strong stud of a man to come too.

What He Said

It be one part porn star, one part weather reporter. It should be hot and nasty (if you think you’re going to dirty or blue, you aren’t going far enough. This is where you tell him how amazing he and his baby maker are, in great, great detail. It’s almost too much to handle, feels so great, you may be sore tomorrow, you might walk funny tomorrow, it’s hitting your g-spot, etc.

Also, you should be like the weather channel: constant updates. If he’s doing it right, tell him. If he needs to touch your clitoris, be sure to let him know. He wants to rock your world more than you want him to, so give him the verbal cues he needs. Hell, draw him a map if you have to. Engraved invitations are good too. Remember to be careful how you phrase this. Don’t tell him he’s doing anything wrong, even if he is. Tell him it would be really hot if he did (fill in the blank).

Basically, your job is to make him feel like the most amazing stud lover on the planet, one that every woman wants but only you have (unless you’re in an open relationship or into swinging, and that’s another column). If you do a good job of it, you’ll be rewarded, day and night. Every man loves to feel like God’s gift to the vagina (gay men not so much) and I would encourage you to go into great detail about how he rocks your world like no other.

You don’t have to lie, that may not be the best idea either. Focus on what he’s legitimately good at and work from there. He’s really eager to learn to do you better. Focus on not just doing it during naked time but giving clues on how to improve in terms of comments you make during boom boom time. He’ll probably pick up quicker than you think and if he doesn’t, just keep dropping hints, and be less and less subtle.

Make him feel like the king of your castle. That’s really what all this boils down to. Men love to feel strong just as much as women love to feel safe and secure. You should do that, and use language that would make Prince blush.

The Truth About How Long You REALLY Need To Last In Bed!

By lloydlester

Premature ejaculation is surrounded by many myths. Most guys think that they need to have marathon sex to be any good – but is it really true? Find out now!

For many men, sexual endurance and self-confidence go hand in hand in the bedroom. If you are not lasting long enough, your sense of self worth and confidence are likely to plummet.

But first – exactly how long is long enough?

How Long Should Sex Really Last?

There is something about adult movies that gives men the misconception that sex should last for an hour or more. But the simple truth is, you only need to last as long as a YouTube clip!

While the debate about ideal sexual stamina has been ongoing for as long as mankind, sexual therapists have in recent years suggest that intercourse that lasts from 3 to 7 minutes is satisfactory. Anything from 7 to 13 minutes is considered desirable – not including the time reserved for foreplay.

Sounds surprising? Well it shouldn’t be. Considering that most women need about 7 to 15 minutes of sexual stimulation to reach an orgasm, the suggested duration for “desirable” sex sounds logical.

Here’s the simple truth – great sex does NOT involve a stopwatch. Many men are so preoccupied about not wanting to climax too soon, that they ended up doing exactly what they fear most! Sexual anxiety will almost always impair your performance in bed!

Don’t Focus On The “Magic” Number

For a woman, great sex involves a slow, titillating build-up that envelopes both her mind and body. Use this to your advantage. Don’t view sex in terms of duration. View it in terms of quality. Such a mindset will do a whole lot of good to your confidence in bed.

You see, of all the “instruments” you can use to stimulate and arouse a woman sexually – your fingers, tongue and penis – the last one is ironically the one you have the least amount of control over.

Accelerate Her Sexual Anticipation

So, use your fingers and tongue to heighten her anticipation and arousal FIRST. Give her sensual hot spots some tender, loving attention. And I don’t just mean the obvious places. A woman is incredibly blessed with many erogenous areas on her body. The nape of her neck, her ear lobes, the underside of her arms are all great places to start with.

When a woman is sufficiently aroused before penetration, it actually lowers her threshold for orgasm, reducing the turnaround time for her to reach a climax during intercourse. And when that happens, your confidence will soar, performance anxiety will take a backseat, and you will naturally last longer too!