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Oral Sex Troubleshooting & What To Do If Things Aren’t Going Well

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Oral sex doesn’t always go as planned. Sometimes she won’t respond well to your technique – so here’s what to do to troubleshoot oral sex.

Have you ever had a situation with a woman where you had no idea what to do, or worse, you knew what was wrong but needed a nice way to say it? This is the article for you then, where you’ll get feedback on several tricky yet manageable situations and questions you know, the kind that you want to ask about, but were afraid to.

“She Doesn’t Seem To Enjoy My Oral Technique”

It could be that you’ve noticed her not as engaged as she usually is while in the heat of the moment, or maybe she isn’t as excited about you going down on her lately as she used to be. There could be a few reasons why she’s acting a bit different:

  • You’re so concerned about your technique and pleasing her, that her anxiousness is rubbing off on her and she’s not able to get in the mood
  • You’ve lost the fun quotient and are a bit robotic or mechanical, and she’s getting a bit bored with the lack of variety.

Really though, it doesn’t matter what the reason is because the answer is the same: if she gets even a whiff of you not being 100% enthusiastic or into cunnilingus with her, she’ll have a hard time enjoying it.

So how to remedy this? Put your concerns or fears out of your head for a bit, and focus on the aspects of oral sex that are a total turn on for you. Most women will go crazy with that knowledge, and be able to open up and enjoy themselves more fully. So flash her a winner of a smile with a tweak of naughty to it, and then just go to it. It’s highly unlikely that with that attitude, you’ll get any complaints.

“She Has Lots of Pubic Hair?”

Some gents are quite fond of the 70’s look, but others would much rather see what they are doing, or they find the trimmed and/or baby smooth look a real turn on. Doesn’t matter really what matters is how you deal with it.

If it’s the first time that you’re going down on her, it may just be that she hasn’t had time to do any shaving yet. Give her some warning next time and see if she takes care of things without you having to say anything on the matter.

If your hints don’t get the job done, it’s time for the next step: subtlety. If the two of you ever watch porn together, try casually mentioning how hot you find the barely there hair on the ladies. Or, don’t trim your pubic hair. When she’s done going down on you next time, apologize for not keeping things neat and tidy, and then say with a naughty smile, “I will if you will!”

If neither of those tactics work and you really need her to perform some maintenance, your only other option is to talk to her about it directly. “I think you’re amazing, and I love going down on you. I find it difficult to see what I’m doing though, and I’d really like to give you the most amazing orgasm ever! Is there any way that we could trim things up together? I’m totally willing to help.”

“It’s Taking Too Long”

The length of time it will take to get your partner off depends on her as long as it takes. There’s really no way to predict how long, other than to use your past experiences with this woman as an indicator as to what might happen in the future.

Some women, it takes a while to get to where they need to be, both mentally and physically. Others can build the necessary tension in a few minutes, and can fly towards orgasm straight-on without a lot of coaching or encouragement. And for different women it’ll change based on their mood, cycle, past experiences, stress levels, diet, medications, and even alcohol. (Alcohol, while in small amounts can help her relax, but too much and it’ll take her much longer to climax, if at all)

Another factor that needs to be taken into account as to how long a session will last, is how much foreplay time she received prior to oral sex. The more time you spend prepping her, the less time it’ll take for her get to the finish line.

Also, the better you know your partner, the easier time you’ll have of figuring out what’s ‘normal’ for her, and how long it should take to make her orgasm.

“She Doesn’t Smell Fresh”

She may have looked irresistible when two of you went out dancing before your night of bliss, but once those beads of sweat have cooled? They aren’t anywhere near as appealing.

The easiest answer is to suggest getting her out of her clothes and hopping into the shower together. Take the sensuality one step further by lathering her up yourself, making sure not to get any soap inside of her or else she’ll be dry and may complain about itching and burning later. Icky.

If you don’t have the opportunity to take a shower together, flavored dental dams work really well to mask offensive odors in a pinch, as do some flavored lubes. Worst case scenario? Grab a warm cloth and gently wipe her down yourself, making sure to let the heat of the water soften up her vulva while you kiss and stroke her skin elsewhere.

“I Think She’s Addicted To Her Vibrator and Can’t Have an Orgasm With Me”

There is such a thing as too much, as you probably well know from your own masturbation experiences. When someone gets used to a certain method, feeling, or approach, it can be incredibly difficult to respond without it. Less variety in this case isn’t a good thing, so you may need a bit of time to, literally, retrain your partner’s clitoris to accept different, softer kinds of fondling.

If your gal isn’t willing to let go of her vibrator for a while and try playing without one (it may take her longer to have an orgasm, but in time she’ll reprogram her body to react in the same way), try it her way instead. Buy a long handled vibrator, so you can use it in tandem with your hands and mouth. See if you can alternate movements or change things up a bit with the extra ‘hand’, and watch carefully how she responds. It may take a bit of time for her to relearn how to orgasm by someone else’s hand, but eventually she’ll find the pleasure completely worthwhile.

“When She Has an Orgasm, She Pees. Ick!”

What you think is pee is probably just a tiny bit of liquid that women squirt during orgasm. It’s extremely rare for a woman to pee during orgasm same thing for a man so assume that it’s really her body’s signal that she’s had an amazing orgasm. G-spot orgasms can also create a much larger amount of fluid, but again, it’s not urine.

If the liquid really grosses you out or you’re convinced it is pee, there are a few things you can do. First, go to the bathroom before you start your next oral episode, and then ask your partner if she needs to go too. It’ll prompt her to empty her bladder just in case, without you having to say it. Also, make sure that there’s a towel handy for quick and easy clean up after you’ll want one too for your orgasm anyway, so it’s not out of the ordinary. Dental dams provide a separation between her fluids and your mouth too, and if it’s only a small amount you’ll likely not even notice.

5 Ways To Get Him To Stop Watching Porn

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Porn is something all guys watch at some point in their lives. It’s a normal and natural thing to be curious about porn and to want to see what it’s all about – it’s even more common for men to use it when they get older during masturbation, simply because men are visual creatures and need something to look at when they do their business. But what do you do if he wants porn on all the time? How can you get him to look at YOU instead?

1. Find Out What He’s Watching

Whether you do this by asking him straight up what kind of porn he likes, or by doing a little secret digging in his computer files while he’s not home, you need to find out what kind of porn he’s watching. This may be the key here. If he likes BDSM or even has a secret fetish that he feels like he can’t share with you, what he watches during masturbation can give you a clue. If you find that what he watches when he masturbates differs greatly from what you two do together, try incorporating a little bit of what he likes into sex. Do it slowly so you don’t tip him off. But if you start playing the game the way he likes it, he’ll be more apt to do it with you than to have vanilla sex and retire to his computer or television later.

2. Make Amateur Porn

Guys are visual, period. They need to see things to get off. Women can use their imaginations all day long and imagine in great detail everything they need to during a masturbation session, but men find that very difficult. It’s much easier if they can look at a bouncy pair of breasts or a dripping wet….well, you get the picture – while they get the job done. So if you’re tired of him looking at other women instead of you, don’t ask him to stop looking at porn flat out – because that’s not going to happen. Instead, make porn for him – of you!

Take some naughty pictures of yourself or have a trusted friend do it. You can throw the digitals into a free, easy to use online editing program to make yourself look your best – or if you REALLY want to go all out, have professional boudoir photos done. If he has some really sexy pictures of YOU to look at, he might not go looking at other girls all that often.

3. How Do You Look?

Guys like different body types. Some men enjoy very thin, athletic women, while other guys like a few rolls they can grab on to while they slam into you from behind. It’s all about personal preference. So don’t assume that your man wants to see you skin and bones just because that’s what all the Victoria’s Secret lingerie ads look like. But take some time to really think about the type of body your man does find attractive. This is where checking out his porn collection can come in handy. Are all the girls a little round, while you look like you just ran a marathon? Try packing on a couple pounds if you’re comfortable with that.

Does he seem to like more athletic women, while you’re a little more round? Try getting healthier and losing a few pounds, if you’re comfortable with it. You don’t have to change your looks to become a complete carbon copy of his little porno mistresses, but if you take some time to think about what HE really likes and try to meet those desires a little, you’ll notice a huge difference in how much more attention he pays to you.

4. Get Some Damn Confidence

Honestly, it doesn’t matter THAT much to your guy what you’re packing. He wouldn’t be with you if he didn’t find you at least somewhat attractive. You want to know the biggest difference between those porn girls and you? Confidence! They know what they’re doing, they’re confident in their ability to do it well and that translates on screen. Slip on a pair of heels, strut your stuff and act like you KNOW you look good! Because you do! Just a change in your attitude and enthusiasm about the way you look and sex in general is enough to get him to turn off the tube and follow you to the bedroom.

5. Have More Sex

Next time he wants it, don’t brush him off. Don’t tell him you have a headache, don’t tell him you’re on your period, don’t tell him that you “just don’t feel like it” and most certainly, you should not do it and fake an orgasm. Just get into it! The more sex you have, the more you’re going to want it. Same goes for him. If he knows he can get mind blowing sex pretty much any time he wants, he’s not going to want the porn as much, if at all. So don’t wave him off next time he appears interested in having sex with you. Turn the interest right around and pounce on him! Give him something to remember next time he goes looking for something good to watch. He might just say, “Forget it!” and go looking for you instead!

How To Recover After Having Sex On The First Date

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Having sex on the first meeting can really screw things up for you. But is it possible to put having sex behind you and start over?

You messed up. You had too much wine, the lighting was just right or you gave into primal urges that you know you shouldn’t have. Now you’re looking for you panties as he’s making coffee in the other room. You really like this guy, but having sex with him on the first meeting was never supposed to be in the cards. The worst part is that you think you might have a future with him and you don’t want him to think that you’re the kind of girl that gives it up willy-nilly. Even though the relationship has gotten off to a sexualized start, you can recover. Here is a guide on how to recover after having sex with him on the first date.

Understand The Situation

You slept with him but that doesn’t mean that he’s your boyfriend. This also doesn’t mean that you’re his girlfriend. Understanding the relationship took a turn gives you perspective. Yes, most of the mystery was lost when you slept with him, but this doesn’t mean that you can’t have a meaningful relationship. Knowing that having sex with him on the first date doesn’t define the relationship is the first step in recovering from this misstep.

Don’t Return Texts

More than likely, the guy is going to feel guilty about having sex with you on first date. If the guy is truly interested in pursuing a relationship, wait for him to call. If he sends a text, shoot him one back that says “Give me a call when you get a second. Thanks!” or something similar. Guys that were only interested in having sex will text you with expectations. Guys that want to move past the mistake of getting physical too early will want to take you out on a proper date. Proper dates require real communication. Phone calls are real communication. The only exception is if he is truly busy and he sends you a text from work asking you to have dinner with him.

Second Time Around

So, you went on the first date and we know how that turned out. What about the second date? The second date is going to be the real date. This is a test of how you can handle the fact that you have already been together but don’t really know each other. One of the best things to do is talk about the fact that you did sleep together. Don’t make excuses or you could make him feel inadequate or unworthy. For instance, if you say “ Listen, I had a lot to drink the other night” or something similar, he might think that you used him for sex. You might even get him thinking that you think he used you for sex. Just say, “I don’t want what happened the other night to ruin what we might have.” This tells him that you are open to the idea of a relationship, but it’s business as usual from here on out.

Make Him Wait

You had sex on the first date, but that doesn’t mean that you’re going to give it up again. Make him wait and earn sex again. Having sex with him again on the second date could lead to expectation. If he asks you to come over to his house after the date, politely tell him that you don’t think that’s a good idea. He should agree. If he presses the issue, he might only be in it for the sex and you should tread lightly. Once a guy has had sex with you, he might lose interest. This is common, which is the reason that you should never have sex on the first date. If the guy does press the issue, he sees you as a way to get laid and his interest in a serious relationship has faded. Move on. Once a guy sees you in this light it’s going to be very difficult to bring him back. Decline the request and make him wait for at least 2 more dates before you sleep with him again.

Having sex with a guy on the first date is a horrible idea that usually ends badly. If you do slip up and give into the temptations of the flesh, there are a few ways that you can steer the relationship back to where it needs to be. By knowing how to handle the situation, you might be able to understand the situation and get your guy to accept the fact that you both faltered. Always remember that you are in control of the situation and if the guy isn’t up for a real relationship, you will move on.

Why Your Guy Thinks You’re Sexy

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Foreplay often means undressing in front of your fella – which can be nerve wracking! But he’s not looking at your cellulite. Here’s why he thinks you’re HOT!

Your Breasts

Breasts are often served up first during foreplay, much to every single guy’s excitement. Some men are really super into breasts while others just “like” them, but there are very, very few guys (if any) that don’t like breasts at all. The thing is, a lot of women think that men only like certain kinds of breasts. For example, a man might only think a pair of breasts are sexy if they’re the right size and if they’re perky.

This isn’t true at all – it’s simply the result of social conditioning by lingerie companies. Men actually love all breasts. Any size, shape, color – it doesn’t matter. A woman with very large breasts might be unhappy that her breasts sag when she’s not wearing a bra, but her man is most likely just enjoying burying his face in them and making motorboat sounds. A woman with small breasts might want them to be bigger, but her guy is most likely just enjoying tickling and playing with her perky nipples. Men love breasts and they love every kind.

Your Butt

Your fella loves your butt. No matter what your butt looks like – whether it’s big and smackable, or a tiny little thing that looks good in a tight pair of jeans. Guys love to look at butts when they have sex, they like to grab them, smack them and sometimes even bite them. They like to watch you parade around in your underwear around the house and give you a little smack here and there. He especially likes to see it jiggle a little bit – or a lot, depending on his preferences.

Very few men have looked at a woman and said, “Wow, that ass just looks terrible. Just terrible.” In fact, what usually goes through a guy’s mind when he sees a butt that he particularly likes is how great it would look served up to him doggie style. So even if you have stretch marks or cellulite, you can bet that your guy loves your butt. Period.

Your Skin

Good foreplay involves lots of touching of your skin. Your guy loves your skin – he enjoys it so much because women’s skin is almost always softer than a man’s. It always smells good, is usually hairless in the important places and just feels great to rub, stroke, touch and grab. He’s not going to notice your stretch marks. He’s not going to be scrutinizing the quality of your skin, trying to figure out whether it’s dry and ashy and if you need to use more moisturizer or what kind you should use. He’s just enjoying touching and feeling the skin all over your body. So let him and don’t worry about it!

Your Lips

Most guys aren’t into fake lips. Ones injected with fillers, or those with lipliner drawn on so scarily that they really do look almost like a clown. Nope. He loves your soft, natural, wet lips. He especially enjoys them when you’re kissing him, or when he can feel them wrapped around his penis during a blowjob. He doesn’t like it when you put on gobs of lipstick or lipgloss – he may enjoy the way that looks in a photo or something, but he doesn’t want to come away with red or pink lips when he kisses you. And it just frustrates him if you’re wearing a lot of lip color, because then he can’t kiss you. He likes to kiss you whenever he wants!

Brush your lips with your toothbrush when you brush your teeth to remove dead skin and make them super soft. Dab on some good, organic balm and you’re perfectly kissable. He’ll love it.

Your Enthusiasm

If you are INTO sex, he’s going to be INTO you. Period. It doesn’t matter if you have rolls, cellulite, acne, droopy breasts. Doesn’t matter at all. If you are enthusiastic, excited about having sex with him and genuinely into it, he’s not going to notice all those things that you spend hours in the mirror picking apart. He’s just going to be so excited about how excited you are to be doing it with him. So next time you go to get it on with your beau, strip your clothes off, let him feel your skin, kiss him all over, rub your breasts in his face and act like you’re having the best time in the world. He won’t know what hit him.


Fellatio Techniques That Will Make His Legs Shake!

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Fellatio is an incredible way to give your man sexual pleasure – with these suggestions you can literally BLOW his mind!

These moves that will make him squirm, slither and squeal with ecstasy! If you’re a bit shy about trying these moves for the first time on a penis, don’t fret! Most guys don’t know the difference between an “ice-cream swirl” and a “top to bottom lick” – they just like what feels good to them! Don’t be afraid to use a new move right there on your partner’s penis. If he likes it, he’ll be sure to let you know! This is also a great learning experience – by trying out new fellatio moves on your partner’s penis, you can learn what he likes and what he doesn’t like and use that to build the basis of your fellatio repertoire.

Start With Your Lips

Think of them as soft, wet, squishy pillows. Wouldn’t you want your entire penis wrapped in them if you were a man? Of course! That’s why lips play such an important role in fellatio technique. Lips can create a soft, swirling motion or a tight squeezing motion depending on how you position them. Although your tongue is pretty darn powerful during a fellatio session, your lips can absolutely become your go-to when giving a blowjob. Let’s go over some exact lip techniques that you can use while performing fellatio on your partner.

  • Make an “O” with your lips. You can make a loose “O” or a tight one, depending on what mood you and your partner are in and even depending on which stage in fellatio you are. Tighter, harder and faster moves are best when your partner is close to experiencing an orgasm and lighter, softer moves are great for when you’re building him up to a climax. Slide your “O” completely up and down his penis (as far down from the base as you can get all the way up to the head) – this will allow your partner to feel the full effect of your lips on his penis. For a little extra something during this move, try rotating your “O” like you were going down a twisty slide. This will completely rev him up!
  • Kiss the head. This is kind of like a French kiss, so you may want to incorporate a little tongue here – but not too much! This move is still meant to put your lips in the spotlight. There are so many sensitive nerve endings in the head of the penis that a wet smacker right on top will put him directly into bliss mode. Kiss the head of his penis just like you would French kiss his mouth – but this time, the sloppier the better. If your partner loses an erection quickly, you can use your hand to massage the base of his penis up and down to keep him erect. You can also do this just for added pleasure.

Licking Techniques

Although whole-mouth techniques are by far more pleasurable than just licking alone, the tongue plays a very important part (if not a crucial part!) in fellatio technique. It is important that you not rely solely on the tongue during a fellatio session – this will surely not provide enough stimulation for your partner to get close to climax. You can, however, vary your sucking and lip techniques by utilizing the tongue techniques, building a fellatio repertoire that rivals even the best of the best.

  • Lollipop lick – remember those long, twisty lollipops from the carnivals? The ones you couldn’t possibly fit all the way into your mouth? Well, the best technique for those was to lick from the bottom to the top, following the swirl of the candy. That’s how you’re going to perform this tongue technique. Start at the base of your partner’s penis and lick all the way from the bottom to the top (no stopping!) and make a swirling motion while doing so. Spend a little extra time on the head if you can, using this motion. This is a great teasing move – it will give him the feel of your tongue from the very base of his penis to the tip, but without being fully engulfed by your mouth.
  • Flick his head – we’ve told you that the area where the most pleasurable nerve endings are hiding is right there in the head of your partner’s penis. Why not take a page out of the cunnilingus book and flick your man’s head with your tongue much like he would flick your clitoris? Again, this move is not something that is going to suffice if it’s the only motion you’re making during fellatio. But it could be the difference between being close to climax and being in orgasm city! You can do this while your partner’s head is in your mouth (this will add extra sensation – especially if you press your lips together to create more pressure in the tip) and will give him the most for your effort. You can also do this move outside of your mouth (with just your tongue touching the penis) if you want to back off the juice a little.

Sucking Techniques

Even if you are no fellatio queen (yet, anyway) you can probably venture a fairly accurate guess by saying that the sucking techniques are the most important part of fellatio. They sure are! Our mouths have the unique ability (over any other phallus friendly orifice in our bodies) to create suction, or a vacuum feel. This is what will drive your man wild and bring him to orgasm again and again (although probably not during the same session or even the same night).

  • Head sucking – this is another powerful tool in the fellatio giver’s arsenal. Be careful using this technique, however, because it can do one of two things – either cause discomfort because the sensations are too powerful or cause an almost immediate orgasm. If used in moderation (okay, heavy moderation), this technique can catapult your partner into blowjob bliss. Place your mouth over the top of his penis, covering the head and the frenulum completely. Make an up and down sucking motion (you can also swirl your tongue around for added effect). You can do this soft or hard, depending on both you and your partner’s mood during any particular fellatio session.
  • Shaft sucking – this is different from deep throating! You will take your partner’s entire penis that you into your mouth, but without straining yourself or activating your gag reflex. Move up and down methodically (you can do this either quickly or slowly, depending on your partner’s preferences as well as how far along in the fellatio session you are and how close to having an orgasm your partner is) while creating a sucking motion – much like sucking on a popsicle. You can also do this with a great deal of suction or with very little, also depending on your partner’s preferences and the stage of fellatio in which you are in.