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7 Sex Secrets Men Don’t Want You To Know!

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Sex for a guy is something we all think we have figured out – but the truth is, fellas may surprise us. Here’s what guys think about sex that may shock you.

He DOES Like Cuddling After Sex!

While guys are pre-programmed to roll over and go to sleep after having sex, they don’t necessarily always want to do just that. In fact, he does like to cuddle every now and then, especially if he’s a married fella. He won’t admit it, but he likes falling asleep holding you in his arms – or at the very least, pressed up against you.

Your warmth, soft skin and scent lull him to sleep better than just about anything else. Keep in mind, however, that this doesn’t apply to one night stands. If he doesn’t know you very well, it’s more likely that he’ll want to get out of the bed afterwards as fast as possible.

If You’re Confident, He Won’t Notice Your Flaws

Self confidence is everything for a guy when it comes to selecting a woman to date. He’s not going to notice the girl who could be mistaken for a room decoration at a club, he’s going to notice the girl that is out there talking to everyone, even if the woman in the corner is “hotter.”

The same goes for sex – if you’re confident during sex and go in knowing what you want (bonus points if you know how to please him too with a great handjob or blowjob), he’s not going to notice the cellulite on your thighs. In fact, he’s probably not even going to notice the stretch marks on your stomach while you’re riding him – because you’re riding him! Be confident and don’t care about your flaws and he won’t either.

He Doesn’t Like Sex In The Shower OR On The Beach

Shower sex and sex on the beach are actually pretty overrated. While many girls think that guys like doing it in unconventional places – and while it IS true that guys like sex period – the shower and the beach are probably his least favorite places to get busy. Unless you have some serious equipment installed in the shower (we’re talking handlebars, foot rests, etc.) you’re not going to be able to line up well enough for penetration, especially if you’re all slippery from the soap.

And what guy wants sand in his pants? Sure you can bring a blanket and all, but let’s face it – he’s still going to get sand in his ass and so are you. Try doing it in the ocean or just in your bedroom with some lovely white noise ocean sounds playing in the background.

Dirty Talk Is Difficult For Him

While many people think that it’s the ladies that struggle with dirty talk, guys actually struggle with it too. He feels silly saying, “I want you to suck my…” or “I love it when you…” especially if he’s trying to be explicit. Also, he doesn’t know what to call your downstairs area – does he say the P word, or will that make you feel cheap? Does he call it a vagina, or will that make you feel like he’s being clinical? He’d rather avoid this grey area completely and just voice his pleasure with caveman sounds.

Sometimes He Doesn’t Feel Like It

Sure, girls are always the ones getting the bad rap for having “headaches” and foregoing sex for the evening. However, not all guys are horn dogs who want to get it on every single second of every single day. In fact, there are plenty of times that he doesn’t want to do it, and maybe his girl does! He may do it just to appease her or because he feels like he should, but that doesn’t mean he’s always super into it. Sometimes, he’d rather just take an aspirin and go to bed too.

Your Sex Toys Freak Him Out

Truth is, a guy can’t compete with a vibrator that offers 6,000 rpm and incredible clitoral stimulation. He just can’t. Does he know that you appreciate intimacy with him more than a killer orgasm, at least most of the time? Possibly. So keep your sex toys under wraps, especially if you two are new to each other. He doesn’t want you to ask if he can use your g-spot vibrator while he gives you oral sex. He also doesn’t want to see your Rabbit. Just settle for his finger this time.

He Doesn’t Always Want To Try For “Multiple Orgasms”

Multiple orgasms can happen for girls and guys, although it’s a little bit more difficult for guys to achieve this because of the whole ejaculation thing. Many women are under the impression that guys want to have more than one orgasm, or want to give their partners multiple orgasms. They may think that the more orgasms that are had all around, the better the sex is.

Sometimes, he just doesn’t want to shoot for marathon sex. He doesn’t want to try to give you more than one orgasm, and he certainly doesn’t want to try (and probably fail) to have more than one O himself. In fact, if the climaxes are good enough for the both of you, he feels like one should do it. Don’t try to have sex all night long if you sense that your lover would be plenty satisfied with one orgasm. Instead, focus on making that one climax as good as you possibly can.

If you rock his world enough with that one, he’ll be too sensitive and much too tired to continue on. Same goes for you!

Orgasm Dilemma – What To Do If You Can’t Have One & Your Guy Gave Up

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An orgasm isn’t always easy for a man to give, and he can quickly get discouraged if he can’t find a “formula” to get you over the top in what he views as a reasonable period of time. But should you just forget about ever reaching orgasm during sex at all? And is it really only up to him to learn how to give you pleasure?

A Woman’s Orgasm

It’s not easy to make a woman orgasm, and unfortunately, many guys give up before they’ve ever learned how to make their partner climax. A woman requires a clear mind, a relaxed body, emotional immersion and the right physical stimulation to get over the top. Finding the right combination of these things (which could differ on any given day depending on the woman’s mood) can be daunting at best. Don’t put all the blame on your guy though – having an orgasm starts with YOU.

Start Masturbating

How can you expect your guy to learn what pleases you if you don’t even know? How can he learn how to bring you to an orgasm if you can’t even do it yourself? You know what gets you relaxed. When you touch down there, you know immediately if it feels good or if it doesn’t. Face it – he can’t tell what you like or don’t like unless YOU show him or tell him! It’s not like as soon as he touches you or licks you he knows whether that stroke worked or not.

Don’t turn your nose up at “clicking your own mouse” – there’s nothing wrong with female masturbation and it’s one of the only paths to supreme sexual bliss for a woman (that is, unless you’re with a total Casanova but even then, all women are different and he may not know how to please YOU). After masturbating a few times, you’re going to learn that you like it this way but not that way. You’ll figure out that you can reach orgasm faster if you do it like this, not like that. You’ll come away with a better understanding of your body and your sexuality, plus lots of new ways to play.

So grab a vibrator, use your fingers or whatever else you want and indulge in a explorative solo session. Do what feels good. Remember what it is. Do it again. Repeat.

Teach Your Man

When you find out what works, let your guy know. Don’t expect him to find out all on his own, that’s just cruel. He can’t – you don’t have a magic indicator that lets him know when he’s getting warmer or if he’s doing things the right way. If you prefer circles on your clitoris as opposed to an up and down motion, by all means tell the guy! He’ll appreciate it so much more than if you let him stumble around in the dark and get upset when he doesn’t do the right thing.

A lot of girls are too quiet during sex. They fail to let their man know what feels good during sex, so he never really knows. Many girls don’t make a peep, or much noise at all whether it feels incredible or whether it hurts like hell. So a guy will try and try and try, but will soon give up because he doesn’t feel like he’s getting anywhere. If this describes you, take a long look in the mirror if you want someone to blame for not getting off during sex. You cannot expect your guy to get it right if you don’t give him any feedback. Period.

How To Let Him Know What You Like

Dirty talk is an excellent way to not only let your lover know what really gets you going, but also to spice things up and add variety to your sex life. Dirty talk in and of itself can get you more turned on and closer to orgasm than ever before, not to mention its added use for communication of likes and dislikes.

Next time he makes a move that feels better than the rest, say “Oh yeah, just like that.” If he’s in the wrong place and suddenly moves to the right one, shout “Yes! Right there!” Don’t be afraid to get into it, he’ll think it’s hot. You can even use dirty talk to get really naughty if you want to. Tell him, “I want you to ____ my ____ right now until I ____ all over you!” Ad lib as necessary. After the initial shock and disbelief that these things are coming out of your mouth, you’ll love voicing what you want until you’re coming.

Overcoming Shyness

If you’re too shy to tell him outright what you want either during a normal dinner conversation (yes, it’s perfectly appropriate to say “Hey honey, I’d like to try ___ tonight” over braised chicken) or during sex, then you might think you’re out of luck and will never be able to communicate your desires to your lover. Wrong! You can, without using any words at all!

Just make more noise when he does the right thing. Body language is also a big indicator that he’s on the right track too. Gasp, moan, shout his name, buck your hips – do anything to let him know that you really LOVE what he’s doing. If he never gets this feedback from you, he’ll assume that every single thing he does is wrong – and then give up.

He may change his moves around and try to do something different, but he’ll figure out what you enjoy the most pretty quickly when you stop moaning when he does the wrong thing. That’s right – if he starts getting off course, you’re not going to be as vocal. He will automatically take that as a cue that he needs to go back to what he was doing before, when you were moaning, screaming and bucking wildly.

The icing on the cake? He’ll actually do what you want – meaning, you might actually get off.

Sex Positions: He Wants Doggy Style And I’m Done With It!

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I love different sex positions and I loved “doggy style” when my boyfriend and I first got together, but now it’s my least favorite. My boyfriend still tries to initiate sex this way, but I really don’t enjoy it. How do I let him know our doggy days are over?

What She Said

Speak With Him Honestly

The sooner, the better! While there are compromises in relationships, doing something you really don’t enjoy physically isn’t necessary. For whatever reason, your body’s response to pleasure in doggy style sex positions has changed. Sex should be fun and spontaneous, but if you know something doesn’t work for you anymore it should be off the menu. He’ll surely understand, once you express that this position no longer feels good to you.

Take the sting out of delivering this news by adding a few new sex positions that you are interested in trying. It’s not the end of the world – in fact, it’s an invitation to a new one!

What He Said

You know what? It happens! Some people can eat ice cream all day, every day and never ever ever get bored. Some people eat it for a week and then get bored with it. You have gotten bored with doggy style as far as sex positions go. It’s time to find a new flavor.

Perhaps you’ve gotten bored with it because it’s physically uncomfortable or doesn’t hit your g-spot like it used to. That my friends, is what the liberator is for.

Go to their website, check out the different models and positions they can be used for (they have very “informative” video demonstrations with the super sexy sex educator Jaiya) and order one. That may be all you need to get things going again.

Then again, maybe the position isn’t for you. There are dozens of books on sex positions, like Kama Sutra, that offer new and exciting sex positions for the two of you to try. The options are as limitless as they are magically delicious.

Bring Sex Toys Into Play

Maybe you need to bring some sex toys into play instead of trying different sex positions. Again, do an Internet search for sex toys, find some you like and order them online or go to your local sex shop and buy some if you don’t want a paper trail (just remember to pay cash!) That will add some new toys to your sexual sandbox and that can occupy you for hours upon hours.

Of course, I don’t think any of this will really help as long as he’s the one doing the sexual initiation. You really can’t let him know his doggy style days are over. What you can do is offer him new and exciting positions and avoid the doggy style sex all together simply by beating him to the punch. You should be the one to initiate sex and lots of it. In the new positions you want to try. You’re bound to find one that he likes just as much if not more than doggy style. Then he will be constantly harassing you to do it that way instead of doggy style, but that however, is a whole other column. Enjoy and you’re welcome!

How To Make Sex Over 40 GREAT! (Ladies Only)

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Sex tips specifically for women over forty can help older women have a super hot, satisfying orgasmic sex life! Sex tips for these women differ slightly than sex tips for younger women, because as the body ages, it is important to realize that sex can be different too. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have AWESOME sex! It could be better sex than you ever had!

Use Plenty Of Lubrication

A lot of couples assume that if they’re turned on, they don’t need additional lubrication during intercourse. Having plenty of lubrication, natural or otherwise, is essential for great sex for both younger couples and older ones, although, older women may find that they need a little more than they used to. This is not at all uncommon. In fact, every couple should have a bottle of good, water based lubricant in their nightstand drawer, because honestly, it just makes sex feel better!

When there’s less friction and more sensual gliding, things are going to feel better. This is especially true for older women, because as the body ages, the vagina can become drier and less supple. Using good quality lubricants like Pjur can help moisturize the tissues down there and make your genitals look and feel supple and young – not to mention, sex will feel better without the uncomfortable friction!

Have Lots Of Foreplay

When you’re younger, you can often jump right into sex without a lot of foreplay because sex is newer and more fun – it doesn’t take long for the body to get excited. But when you’ve been around the block a few times so to speak, just the idea of having sex isn’t enough to get a woman turned on. Women naturally require lots of foreplay before sex to get them aroused enough for sex to feel good, yet this is one of the sex tips that is most commonly ignored.

Don’t underestimate the power of foreplay and make sure that you engage in it as often as possible. Foreplay can start as soon as you wake up – lovingly caress your partner, tease them and whisper naughty things in their ear. You’ll both be thinking about sex all day and by the time you get home, it will be all you can do not to rip each other’s clothes off and get it on right then and there.

Invest In Good Quality Sex Toys

When you get older and more experienced with sex, you will naturally want to try new things and stretch your boundaries a little bit. Investing in some good quality sex toys can definitely spice up your sex life. Go shopping with your partner or alone and look for sex toys that you can use together as well as during masturbation. Let your partner get a masturbation sleeve to spice up his solo sessions, and get yourself a great little clitoral vibrator that you can use with him or on your own. When you’re over forty, you can afford to take some risks and experiment with new and fun sex toys!

Share Your Fantasies

If you’ve never shared your sexual fantasies with your lover, now may be the time. You’re getting older, so there’s really no point in keeping everything to yourself and never getting to live out your fantasies. This works well when you’ve been in a long term relationship with someone for quite awhile, because you tend to get more comfortable with someone as you age and continue to have a relationship with them.

So instead of being shy and keeping all of your sexual fantasies to yourself, take a little risk and start to tell your lover what really turns you on. Take turns sharing with each other what new things you’d like to try, or different ways you’d like to do things. If you’re comfortable and safe in your relationship, revealing your innermost desires can really be a lot of fun!

The Fantasy Box

Even if you’re older and wiser, sharing your deepest sexual fantasies with your partner can be a little nerve wracking. Try a Fantasy Box. The Fantasy Box concept is an excellent way to introduce new and different things in your sex life in a fun, new way. Each of you write a few different fantasies that you’d like to try and put them on slips of paper. Put them in a special box, a hat or whatever you can find and mix them up. Pull one out and have a blast acting out the fantasy! This way, you both get to try each other’s fantasies without judgement.

5 Tricks To Keep Married Sex Hot – REVEALED!

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Sex tips aren’t just for newbies – even couples who have been having sex together for years can use a handful of sex tips to keep the temperature in the bedroom from plummeting. Here are five suggestions that will keep sex with your spouse as great as it was in the beginning!

Lavish Your Partner With Oral Sex

When you and your lover first got together, oral sex was most likely on the menu more often than it wasn’t – this is probably due in part to the fact that you most likely engaged in oral sex before you actually did the dirty, and also because it was new. As you and your spouse have aged and have gotten more comfortable with each other, you likely don’t shave every day or make sure your nether regions are groomed and presentable for oral sex. Therefore, going down on each other has probably taken a bit of a backseat in your marriage.

Bring that back by lavishing your partner with oral sex. Take a shower with your partner first, and make shaving or washing part of foreplay. Getting your spouse fresh, clean and smelling good for cunnilingus or fellatio is a turn on for both you and your lover! Once they’re ready, sit them down and pitch your tent between their legs – yeah, you’re going to be camping out there for awhile. This is what is meant by lavish – lick every single nook and cranny, slowly as though you never want it to end. Be enthusiastic and never give your partner the idea that you’d rather be doing something else. It’s likely they’ll return the favor – and it will be mind blowing!

Go Super Slow (Make Sure The Kids Are In Bed)

Make sure the kids are in bed – or call a babysitter and head to a hotel for a night of long, drawn out sex. Married couples are often overwhelmed with daily life such as work, kids, bills and other day to day stresses that they’re lucky if they get to squeeze in a quickie here and there. If you want to heat your sex life back up though, you’re going to need to make time to enjoy your partner sexually.

On your night “off” so to speak, plan for a romantic evening with dinner, dessert, candles, romance – the whole nine yards. Once you get to foreplay and sex, don’t speed it up – keep going slow and don’t be in a rush to get to the finish line. Enjoy each and every moment like it was “new” – just like when you and your spouse were first together. So what if you’re not checking your phone for a few hours? It’s totally worth it.

Try New Sex Toys

This doesn’t necessarily mean introduce more vibrators or dildos into your sex life – because you probably have already had your fair share of those. You’ve done vaginal penetration, you’ve vibrated the clitoris – it’s time to find something really, really new to do! If you’ve never tried anal sex, buy a teeny-tiny butt plug or anal vibrator that allows you to experiment with anal sensations without committing to full on anal sex. Never tried bondage before? Grab an Under The Bed Restraint that slips under your bed (and is easily hidden when not in use). Let go of your inhibitions and explore things that turn you on that you’ve never tried before.

Try All Natural Sexual Enhancers

There are plenty of libido enhancers on the market and a lot of them don’t work worth a damn. However, there are some great products out there that will definitely heighten the sensations experienced during sex – and we’re not talking Viagra here. Sensitivity gels and creams work well, as do tingling and sensation intensifying lubes. One of the better sexual enhancers on the market these days are Penthouse Performance & Pleasure Shots – one for guys and one for gals. Like a little energy drink, you chug it and in about thirty minutes, everything feels amazing!

Find A New Sex Position Or Two

One mistake that married couples often make when trying to spice up their sex life is bringing in tons of new sex positions – and it’s difficult to get really good at one or two if you’re just trying as many as you can. Instead, pick one or two new sex positions that give you and your partner new sensations and work on mastering them. After a few tries, the sex position will still be “new” enough to bring the heat, but you’ll have practiced it enough to know exactly what to do to make it feel incredible.