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You are here: Home / Archives for loveandsex

First Date Success Checklist

By loveandsex

A first date can be nerve racking if you aren’t prepared. Too many dates go into the gutter because the guy is not prepared for the evening. If you have a first date coming up, there are a few things that you need to take into consideration before you walk out the door. First dates are first impressions. We all know how much a first impression counts so you want to make this as smooth as possible. Here is a first date checklist to help you get through the evening without incident.

Schedule The Date

Sounds pretty simple, right? Well, too many dates fall prey to guys forgetting times, where the girl lives and or what day the date is supposed to be on. Don’t miss out on an opportunity for a future relationship because you have forgotten pertinent information. Once you have scheduled the date, write it down on a calendar or set a reminder on your phone. Hopefully, the girl is good enough that you won’t forget any of this information. However, times and dates can get lost in translation. Make sure that she knows when the date is supposed to occur also.

Make Reservations

This might not apply if you’re simply going out for a drink or heading out to the lake for a day of hiking, but if you’re going to a restaurant, get a reservation. The last thing that you want to do is show up on a Saturday night to find out that there’s a 45-minute wait for a table. Double check the reservation the day of the date to make sure that the restaurant has not made a mistake. You’ll be glad that you did.

Invest In A GPS

How many times have you tried to wing it when looking for a store? This isn’t something that you want to do on a first date. Use a GPS and key in the address an hour before you have to be there. The GPS should give you the estimated time of arrival for the location. This can keep you on schedule. Plan on being a few minutes early. Don’t be 15 minutes early, but a couple of minutes gives you time if there is traffic or accident on the way.

Have Mints/Gum On Hand

It doesn’t matter if you’re going to a restaurant or just a walk. Being fresh is key and you’re breath can deteriorate over time. Make sure that you have something to combat this situation. The last thing that you want is to have a sewer system in your mouth when you lean in for a good night kiss.

Remember Your Wallet

You would think this is a given, but there are time when we get so flustered that we rush out of the house without our wallet or our credit card. Make sure that you have your wallet and all of the pertinent methods of paying for the date with you before you leave the house. If you have recently cancelled a credit card, take it out of your wallet. The last thing you want is to have the waiter come back saying that your card was declined.

Dress Appropriately

The date will really determine what you are going to wear. Are you going to a swanky concert or a find restaurant? Dress accordingly and make sure that the clothing is clean. Iron your shirts and pants if needed. Be aware of details that will make you stand out from previous dates she’s had. Don’t choose a shirt with a ring around the collar. Wear a tie if needed. A sport coat is a great way to show that you know how to dress for a formal date. Make sure that she’s aware of any specific attire that she needs. If you’re taking her paddle boating, make sure that she is wearing sneakers. If you’re going to a nice restaurant, make sure that she knows it so she can dress accordingly.

Make After Date Plans

If everything is going well, you might want to have a plan in place for after the date. Dinner is a great way to spend some time with a date, but the restaurant is going to want their table back at some point during the night. A change of venue is exciting anyway. Have somewhere that the two of you can go after the initial phase of the date if it’s called for. Choose something that you will both enjoy. Something as easy as a cup of coffee at a local brewer can work well.

First dates can be dreadful if you aren’t prepared. By following these guidelines you should be well on your way to a second date.

Filed Under: Dating Tips Tagged With: date ideas, Dating Tips, first date, flirting

Is Porn Responsible For Erectile Dysfunction?

By loveandsex

Porn is pretty much everywhere and most guys use it. Since men are visual creatures and usually need to SEE something arousing to be able to get off, most people don’t bat an eye at adult movies anymore. But could porn be the culprit for men who experience erectile dysfunction?

The Prevalence Of Porn

Yes, adult movies really are everywhere, and they’re in every flavor that one could imagine. You can find porn on the Internet easily, with just the few clicks of your mouse. You can find photos or videos of just about anything you might desire, and if you’ve got the money, you can watch live webcam performances of your favorite stars or video chat with live, hot naked women.

But it’s not just the nudity that’s everywhere – what has changed in the porn industry over the years is the need to continually push buttons and push boundaries. What’s new? What’s exciting? What hasn’t been done before? Adult film stars and producers want to get noticed, and the best way to do that isn’t flashing your breasts – that’s been way overdone. The best way to get noticed is to do something that makes people do a double take. “Did they really just do that? Let’s watch!”

What Does Pushing The Envelope Mean For Men?

For many men, the tasteful nude spreads in Playboy just doesn’t do it anymore. But neither does some of the more risque stuff. Many men are so bored by “just naked women” or “just sex” or “just anal sex” that they continually look for new things to become aroused by. Since the adult entertainment industry basically caters to these desires, it’s a recipe for disaster.

So instead of browsing through tastefully done photos of gorgeous naked women, men are looking for more extreme forms of sexual gratification, including hardcore sex, rough anal sex, golden showers and more. Since men get desensitized to seeing such extreme things on screen, what happens is that it becomes more and more difficult to become aroused through normal nudity or normal sex.

Does It Really Cause Erectile Dysfunction?

Yep. For example, say a man is used to masturbating while watching really rough BDSM or domination. This is what arouses him, and he is always looking for something that he hasn’t seen before. So when he goes to have sex with his wife, what happens? He’s looking at a normal, naked woman and unfortunately, it does nothing to turn him on since he’s so accustomed to being aroused by porn that pushes the envelope.

So he can’t get it up. And she gets frustrated, thinking it is her fault.

In reality, the man has trained himself to sexually respond only to certain things, and the specifics differ from guy to guy. But the concept is the same – if a man masturbates regularly to intense porn, he will most likely have difficulty becoming aroused by normal sex with his partner, resulting in difficulty achieving an erection.

What To Do About It

If you find that you struggle with erectile dysfunction and suspect it may be due to porn, you can take control of your sex life again if you want to have satisfying sex with your partner.

Start by weaning yourself off the most extreme stuff. Take a few minutes to analyze the type of porn you watch at present – what kind of things does it feature? What is it that turns you on the most? Whatever that is, take it down a notch. For example, if you’re currently watching porn that features heavy BDSM, try going down a notch to something that features bondage only. Then you can downgrade to light bondage and so on. In theory, this does not sound difficult to do. The real challenge is avoiding the temptation to watch what you normally do.

Think of it as training yourself to enjoy porn that is much closer to the realistic sexual experiences that you have with a partner, instead of only being able to enjoy things that are only attainable through porn.

When you accomplish this, you will be more satisfied during your sexual encounters with your partner. You will enjoy regular intercourse much, much more than masturbation and masturbation will simply become a “quick necessity” rather than a go-to for the satisfaction of your sexual fantasies. In short, your sex life with your lover will become much, much better and you won’t be in danger of experiencing erectile dysfunction during normal intercourse!

Filed Under: Erectile Dysfunction / Last Longer In Bed Tagged With: adult movies, erectile dysfunction, internet porn, masturbation, porn

Why You Can’t Ignore His Balls When Giving Him A Blowjob (Or A Handjob)

By loveandsex

A blowjob should involve your man’s entire genital area – including his scrotum. You don’t want to just stick to the head and shaft of his penis – there’s lots more down there that has sensitive nerve endings that can create waves of intense pleasure. Here’s why you shouldn’t skip over his boys during a blowjob.

You Knew They Were Sensitive, Right?

It’s no secret that a man’s testicles are incredibly sensitive. You’ve heard how painful it is for a man to get “kicked in the junk” or to take any kind of hit to his testicles. This is because they’re extremely sensitive to pain – but this also means that they’re incredibly sensitive to pleasure as well.

There are lots of pleasure inducing nerves in the skin of his scrotal sac, but there are also nerve endings inside that can send waves of pleasure up and down his body when his balls are jiggled, sucked or fondled. So basically, that’s like 2 different sensations at once! Couple that with stroking the shaft of his penis while you pay attention to his boys and you’ve got a recipe for INTENSE orgasms!

Fondling The Scrotum With Your Hands

This is easiest to do during a blowjob, but can be done during a handjob also. When you’re giving him head, reach down and gently cup his testicles with the palm of your hand. Roll them around in your hand gently, and don’t be afraid to give them a gentle squeeze also. You don’t want to be too rough with this though, so pay attention to your guy’s body language when you do it.

If he seems to be shrinking away or is acting like he’d rather you be doing something else, then that’s probably the case and you’re making him uncomfortable. Play with your technique until you get him moaning, groaning and grinding his pelvis into you.

Licking And Sucking His Scrotum

This can feel absolutely divine during fellatio, but a lot of girls don’t like it because men are usually pretty hairy down there. Also, his scrotum is where most of his “manly” odor tends to hang out (due to the hair), so most girls tend to steer clear.

Encourage your man to shave and stay clean so you can tongue his balls. When he hears that you’re interested in doing it, he’ll most likely be more than happy to make the necessary arrangements for you to be comfortable down there.

While cupping his scrotum, bathe the skin with your tongue. Stretch your tongue out wide to cover as much area as possible. Gently suck each testicle into your mouth, but make sure you don’t graze him with your teeth or suck too hard. Again, make sure you’re paying attention to his body language so you can tell what gives him pleasure and what doesn’t.

Getting Down N’ Dirty

Remember that enthusiasm is almost 90% of a blowjob. If you’re going to be putting your mouth on his scrotum anyways, don’t be afraid to get a little down and dirty. Let things get WET! If your mouth is dry, use some flavored lube. Let it get sloppy and let your man enjoy watching and hearing you go to town on his entire “down there” area.

Spread his legs wide and make him feel exposed as you suck his penis and lick his balls. You can even lick up and down his perineum (the patch of skin below his scrotum but before his anus) if you’ve got enough guts to do it. If you do, make sure you use as firm a tongue as you can manage to indirectly stimulate his prostate gland.

Lick him from bottom to top over and over, and watch his eyes pop out of his head! Start at the perineum and lick all the way up, over his balls, over his shaft and all the way up to the head of his penis. Suck on the head of his penis some before you travel all the way back down his shaft with your tongue. Repeat this a few times before you really get going and he’ll be as hard as a rock and begging you to take him all the way into your mouth.

When it comes to stimulating his scrotum during oral sex, use your imagination. Do what comes to mind, see if he likes it, and if he does make a mental note to try it again later. If he doesn’t, scrap that idea and try something else. It’s all about having fun and giving your man incredible orgasms!

Filed Under: Oral Sex Tagged With: blowjob, fellatio, handjob, oral sex, orgasm, sex tips

How To Keep Having Sex Even After You Ejaculate

By loveandsex

Foreplay is usually before sex, right? It doesn’t have to be! Use foreplay to give your partner an orgasm if you ejaculate too early.

Women don’t care if you’ve ejaculated or not, but THEY DO CARE IF YOU STOP THE FUN. They’re pissed with guys who don’t understand a most basic sexual principle: Just because you’re relieved doesn’t mean I am. The issue with premature ejaculators is not the white liquid – it’s that after they shoot, fast guns stop everything and act like the woman is also done.

Who Decides When Sex Is Over?

The man? The woman?

For most, it’s neither. It’s an orgasm. Semen is an oracle declaring to men, “That’s all folks!” Feeling relieved, they believe this and retire like car salesmen without any after-sales service.

But here’s the thing: Semen really is just semen. It means you climaxed, good for you! The juice represents the procreative aspect of things, but sex isn’t solely for procreation, is it?

AN ORGASM DOESN’T SAY OR MEAN ANYTHING unless you want it to. You can treat it as if nothing happened.

Men stray after they spray when they make their orgasm the sole goal.

When that’s the case, then there’s really no difference between masturbation and intercourse – the hot girl is irrelevant. (Be careful when setting goals, they’re double edged. They set your focus, but they also define your blind spots.)

Yeah, the penis-inside-the-vagina bit may be over, but not the fun. For there’s no stopping a couple from doing other stuff. Penetration isn’t the only thing on the menu. Thrusting may be over for now, but not the sex.

Doesn’t it makes more sense to wrap up when both partners are satisfied, whether this is attended by one orgasm or not, than wrap things up simply because one sees white liquid?

Treat Your Orgasm As If Nothing Happened

This doesn’t mean that you continue with the poking. No! What can you do with limp equipment, really? Forget your thing. After reaching orgasm, you experience a virtual absence in arousal, a refractory period of 5-15 minutes. Since you already got into her pants, you can easily dress up & leave or doze off, and there’s absolutely nothing she can do about it. Now this is where most men blow it big time.

Invest in the refractory period and distance yourself from the other guys.

MAKE THE NEXT SEVERAL MINUTES ABOUT HER!

Notice how easy it is to tease and please when you’re done? You really don’t need much after you’ve sprayed, do you? You can actually think straight, can you?

Forget your temporarily dilapidated tool and unleash your most prized possessions – your tongue and hands.

Give her oral sex and get busy. Explore her body as if the first time. Kiss her ears, neck and back. Stroke her hair. Pull it lightly. Caress her shoulders, gently sweep her inner thighs. Get busy with her nipples and stroke her breasts. (Are you sensing more foreplay coming?)

In a few minutes, you will feel another surge of the urge. In an instant, you will become a man again. It’s like being reborn, only better. It’s your second chance at bat, an opportunity the average guy rarely finds.

The loss of arousal and erection are not final. Barring medical conditions, arousal and erection should return. You may be calmed and satisfied after one blow, but just you wait a few minutes and you’ll be begging to ride her again.

Simply knowing this brings you on a different footing from the inexperienced boy who retires after one shot and anxiously wait for next week’s booty call. He never gets to meet his 2nd and 3rd winds!

This is the real issue with premature ejaculation, it’s how you treat her when you’re done.

Filed Under: Foreplay Tagged With: female orgasm, foreplay, have better sex, orgasm, premature ejaculation

The 10 Condom Commandments

By loveandsex

Condoms are essential for safe sex, but do you know the ten condom commandments?

1. Always Have One With You

Always have condoms handy, wherever you go. Guys, don’t carry them in your pocket or wallet though. It’s easier for a girl, because condoms can easily go in the purse without worry, but the heat from a pocket or wallet can degrade the latex material. Don’t keep them in the car either, or you’ll expose them to even more extreme temperatures of heat or cold, depending on what season it is.

Guys, stash them in your nightstand, your bathroom, your locker at the gym, your desk at work and anywhere else you can think of where you can grab one and go if you need to.

2. Learn How To Put It On The Right Way

You may think you know how to put on a condom correctly, but you may not. There’s a certain way to grip it at the base, and you of course have to leave enough space at the top for semen. Take the time to read the instructions (they’re in every box) and follow them to a T. Incorrect condom use is mainly what is responsible for condom failure. Studies show that when put on, worn and used correctly, that the success rate is much, much higher.

3. Always Check For Holes, Expiration Dates, Etc.

So your buddy gave you a condom “just in case.” You’d better check it out. Inspect the wrapper for tears, holes or other issues and always make sure the condom isn’t expired. Do this for your own stash too – that box of condoms you have tucked away in your bathroom medicine cabinet may be older than you think. If one is questionable, toss it and get a new one. You can afford it. You can’t afford the alternative or you wouldn’t care enough to use one at all.

4. Get Your Correct Size

A LOT of guys assume that they need the large or “magnum” size condoms, when in reality, a regular condom will do just fine. The different sizes out there are based on length AND width, so check out what size condom you need and use the correct one. Using a condom that is too tight can cause it to break, or using one that is too loose can cause it to slide off.

5. Use Plenty Of Lube

Lube makes sex feel better anyways, but it also makes condoms work better. Put a dab of lube on the inside of the condom before you put it on for heightened sensations, and make sure to coat the outside and get it good and wet before intercourse. Plenty of lube will help keep it from stretching too much, tearing or breaking.

6. Experiment With Different Kinds

Don’t just pick up the most random box of condoms you can find and use those. Take some time to find out which ones fit best and feel best. Get a variety pack and pay attention to the different sensations and which ones are better for you and your partner. Go online and purchase some of the higher quality condoms used by professionals in the porn industry. If condoms are going to be your new favorite accessory (and they SHOULD be if you’re not in a monogamous relationship), then spend the time and money to find a brand and style that you really enjoy.

7. Don’t Forget Them For Oral Sex

Oral sex is “technically” safer than vaginal or anal sex when it comes to the transmission of STD’s, but that doesn’t mean that you should forgo the rubber if you’re having oral sex. Use flavored condoms for oral sex, because they taste (and smell) much better than regular condoms. ABOVE ALL, do not use condoms treated with spermicide for oral sex! If going down on a girl, cut the condom lengthwise and put over the vulva like a dental dam, with a squirt of lube in between her and the rubber.

8. Discuss Condoms BEFORE Having Sex!

Do not discuss them five seconds before penetration, or even afterwards. The last thing you want to do is afterwards have to ask, “Hey, did you wear one?” If you’re hooking up, discuss it before the clothes even come off. If you’re too drunk to put one on correctly or too drunk to care, then you’re too drunk to get it on. Have the conversation about safety as soon as you decide that yes, you’re going to be taking your pants off for this person.

9. Keep Tools On Hand In Case Of Breakage

Condoms can break. Even when you put them on correctly, even when you do everything you’re supposed to. It can happen. So make sure you have a backup plan. If you’re not super sensitive to spermicide, consider using it in addition to the condom just in case. Spermicides are handy – they come in a variety of different forms that sometimes, you or your partner can’t even feel! The “thin film” kind can be folded and inserted into the vagina, where it melts and can’t be felt AT ALL. Suppositories are similar, while gels and foams are a little more messy. If you haven’t used spermicide before sex and the rubber breaks, have a bottle of gel or foam spermicide on hand that you can insert immediately – however, the suppositories and films won’t work well after the fact.

Also consider birth control – if you’re on birth control regularly and also use condoms, your layers of safety are well put in place. If you choose not to use birth control regularly, consider having the morning after pill (called Plan B and available at pharmacies and Planned Parenthood across the country) available. If you choose to use Plan B, have it on hand. Do NOT wait until you have a breakage to go get it. There’s a small window in which the medicine can really be effective, and this window is AS SOON as you can, but before 72 hours has passed. The more hours that pass between the breakage and the Plan B, the less effective the medication will be.

10. NO GLOVE, NO LOVE!

If you’re with someone who you are not monogamous with, who hasn’t been STD tested, or you aren’t sure of their sexual history (or all of the above), use a condom. Do not compromise, do not allow yourself to be talked out of it. Do not let someone say they’ll pull out, or that you don’t need one because they “love you.” If you don’t want an STD or an unplanned pregnancy, protect yourself. Insist on if there’s no glove, there will be no love. PERIOD. Do not compromise. Do not budge. If they want it bad enough, they’ll put it on. If not, they weren’t worth your time anyways.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: condoms, lube, oral sex, safe sex, sex tips, STDs

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