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Oral Sex Troubleshooting & What To Do If Things Aren’t Going Well

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Oral sex doesn’t always go as planned. Sometimes she won’t respond well to your technique – so here’s what to do to troubleshoot oral sex.

Have you ever had a situation with a woman where you had no idea what to do, or worse, you knew what was wrong but needed a nice way to say it? This is the article for you then, where you’ll get feedback on several tricky yet manageable situations and questions you know, the kind that you want to ask about, but were afraid to.

“She Doesn’t Seem To Enjoy My Oral Technique”

It could be that you’ve noticed her not as engaged as she usually is while in the heat of the moment, or maybe she isn’t as excited about you going down on her lately as she used to be. There could be a few reasons why she’s acting a bit different:

  • You’re so concerned about your technique and pleasing her, that her anxiousness is rubbing off on her and she’s not able to get in the mood
  • You’ve lost the fun quotient and are a bit robotic or mechanical, and she’s getting a bit bored with the lack of variety.

Really though, it doesn’t matter what the reason is because the answer is the same: if she gets even a whiff of you not being 100% enthusiastic or into cunnilingus with her, she’ll have a hard time enjoying it.

So how to remedy this? Put your concerns or fears out of your head for a bit, and focus on the aspects of oral sex that are a total turn on for you. Most women will go crazy with that knowledge, and be able to open up and enjoy themselves more fully. So flash her a winner of a smile with a tweak of naughty to it, and then just go to it. It’s highly unlikely that with that attitude, you’ll get any complaints.

“She Has Lots of Pubic Hair?”

Some gents are quite fond of the 70’s look, but others would much rather see what they are doing, or they find the trimmed and/or baby smooth look a real turn on. Doesn’t matter really what matters is how you deal with it.

If it’s the first time that you’re going down on her, it may just be that she hasn’t had time to do any shaving yet. Give her some warning next time and see if she takes care of things without you having to say anything on the matter.

If your hints don’t get the job done, it’s time for the next step: subtlety. If the two of you ever watch porn together, try casually mentioning how hot you find the barely there hair on the ladies. Or, don’t trim your pubic hair. When she’s done going down on you next time, apologize for not keeping things neat and tidy, and then say with a naughty smile, “I will if you will!”

If neither of those tactics work and you really need her to perform some maintenance, your only other option is to talk to her about it directly. “I think you’re amazing, and I love going down on you. I find it difficult to see what I’m doing though, and I’d really like to give you the most amazing orgasm ever! Is there any way that we could trim things up together? I’m totally willing to help.”

“It’s Taking Too Long”

The length of time it will take to get your partner off depends on her as long as it takes. There’s really no way to predict how long, other than to use your past experiences with this woman as an indicator as to what might happen in the future.

Some women, it takes a while to get to where they need to be, both mentally and physically. Others can build the necessary tension in a few minutes, and can fly towards orgasm straight-on without a lot of coaching or encouragement. And for different women it’ll change based on their mood, cycle, past experiences, stress levels, diet, medications, and even alcohol. (Alcohol, while in small amounts can help her relax, but too much and it’ll take her much longer to climax, if at all)

Another factor that needs to be taken into account as to how long a session will last, is how much foreplay time she received prior to oral sex. The more time you spend prepping her, the less time it’ll take for her get to the finish line.

Also, the better you know your partner, the easier time you’ll have of figuring out what’s ‘normal’ for her, and how long it should take to make her orgasm.

“She Doesn’t Smell Fresh”

She may have looked irresistible when two of you went out dancing before your night of bliss, but once those beads of sweat have cooled? They aren’t anywhere near as appealing.

The easiest answer is to suggest getting her out of her clothes and hopping into the shower together. Take the sensuality one step further by lathering her up yourself, making sure not to get any soap inside of her or else she’ll be dry and may complain about itching and burning later. Icky.

If you don’t have the opportunity to take a shower together, flavored dental dams work really well to mask offensive odors in a pinch, as do some flavored lubes. Worst case scenario? Grab a warm cloth and gently wipe her down yourself, making sure to let the heat of the water soften up her vulva while you kiss and stroke her skin elsewhere.

“I Think She’s Addicted To Her Vibrator and Can’t Have an Orgasm With Me”

There is such a thing as too much, as you probably well know from your own masturbation experiences. When someone gets used to a certain method, feeling, or approach, it can be incredibly difficult to respond without it. Less variety in this case isn’t a good thing, so you may need a bit of time to, literally, retrain your partner’s clitoris to accept different, softer kinds of fondling.

If your gal isn’t willing to let go of her vibrator for a while and try playing without one (it may take her longer to have an orgasm, but in time she’ll reprogram her body to react in the same way), try it her way instead. Buy a long handled vibrator, so you can use it in tandem with your hands and mouth. See if you can alternate movements or change things up a bit with the extra ‘hand’, and watch carefully how she responds. It may take a bit of time for her to relearn how to orgasm by someone else’s hand, but eventually she’ll find the pleasure completely worthwhile.

“When She Has an Orgasm, She Pees. Ick!”

What you think is pee is probably just a tiny bit of liquid that women squirt during orgasm. It’s extremely rare for a woman to pee during orgasm same thing for a man so assume that it’s really her body’s signal that she’s had an amazing orgasm. G-spot orgasms can also create a much larger amount of fluid, but again, it’s not urine.

If the liquid really grosses you out or you’re convinced it is pee, there are a few things you can do. First, go to the bathroom before you start your next oral episode, and then ask your partner if she needs to go too. It’ll prompt her to empty her bladder just in case, without you having to say it. Also, make sure that there’s a towel handy for quick and easy clean up after you’ll want one too for your orgasm anyway, so it’s not out of the ordinary. Dental dams provide a separation between her fluids and your mouth too, and if it’s only a small amount you’ll likely not even notice.

Am I Crazy Or Is She Cheating?

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Cheating is a tough thing to confront, so you want to make sure you’re positive your partner is cheating before you open your mouth. Here’s how to know.

Nobody wants to play the jealous boyfriend, but at one point or another you might find your mind wandering into scary territory. “Is she cheating or am I crazy?” This question comes up too often and it’s hard to determine for some women. The fear of your girlfriend cheating is enough to make any man shake with terror. The fact of the matter is that most women do not cheat. If they are not happy in the relationship, they will probably just break up with you. However, there are a percentage of women who do fall prey to their temptation. Fortunately, there are some very common trends in women who do cheat. Here are a couple of signs that can keep you on the lookout the next time your questions arise.

Her Age

Younger girls are more adept to play games. That’s not to say that an older woman will not stray, but younger girls have little commitment even if they say that they are committed. If your girlfriend is turning 25, 30 or 35 watch for signs of a crisis. These are the ages that women start to question everything about themselves. Have you ever heard a woman say something like “5 years ago I wouldn’t have done this?” Well, 5 years ago she may not have cheated. Ask your partner if she is happy in the relationship and assure her that you are. Make sure that she knows you would never have an affair and wait for her to assure you. If she doesn’t tell you that she would never cheat, get rid of her.

Job Changes

Job changes are a sign that she might be in a place to cheat on you. When a woman starts making more money or she’s put in a higher position at work, she can feel the power. She might feel like you’re yesterday’s news, especially if she’s making more money than you. One of the best ways to combat her new sense of entitlement is to tell her how proud you are of her. Brag about the promotion and let her know that she’s made a big accomplishment. This will give her the emotional support that she needs. If she starts staying at her job late at night after the first 3 months, you might want to consider whether or not she’s actually “working.” Get details when she works late. Find out what she was doing, but don’t make it obvious. Tell her that you want more time together and see what she says. If she gets defensive, something is definitely up.

She’s Put The Brakes On The Relationship

Remember when she used to call you at work just to see how your day is going? When was the last time that happened? If your romance has come to a complete halt, it’s probably time to be concerned. Get together with her and ask what is going on. Confronting the problem is the best way to move past it. The problem might not even have anything to do with you. Talk it out with her and decide on the best course of action. If she says that there’s not a problem with the relationship, offer to take a weekend trip so you can rekindle the romance. If she’s not interested, take caution. She might be seeing somebody or she’s been cheating.

You Haven’t Had Sex In A Couple Of Weeks

Sex is a pretty big part of the relationship. If you aren’t having sex, there are a couple of things that might be going on. One of the possibilities is that she’s not cheating and she’s just not interested in pursuing the relationship any further. The other possibility is that she is cheating and she’s saving all of her sexual attention for the new guy. Before you storm in and accuse her of anything, talk to her. She might have something going on with her vagina that she’s too embarrassed to tell you about. Assure her that you just want to know what the problem is. Women tend to without sex is there are deeper issues in the relationship so be prepared to talk through other issues when you bring this up. If she tells you there is nothing wrong after repeatedly asking her, assume the worst.

Cheating happens. There’s nothing that we can do to avoid getting cheated on, but diagnosing a cheater can be fairly easy when you put the relationship under a microscope. Always express concern before you accuse your girlfriend of cheating on you. If you accuse her of cheating and she’s not, she could lose all respect for you.

5 Ways To Get Him To Stop Watching Porn

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Porn is something all guys watch at some point in their lives. It’s a normal and natural thing to be curious about porn and to want to see what it’s all about – it’s even more common for men to use it when they get older during masturbation, simply because men are visual creatures and need something to look at when they do their business. But what do you do if he wants porn on all the time? How can you get him to look at YOU instead?

1. Find Out What He’s Watching

Whether you do this by asking him straight up what kind of porn he likes, or by doing a little secret digging in his computer files while he’s not home, you need to find out what kind of porn he’s watching. This may be the key here. If he likes BDSM or even has a secret fetish that he feels like he can’t share with you, what he watches during masturbation can give you a clue. If you find that what he watches when he masturbates differs greatly from what you two do together, try incorporating a little bit of what he likes into sex. Do it slowly so you don’t tip him off. But if you start playing the game the way he likes it, he’ll be more apt to do it with you than to have vanilla sex and retire to his computer or television later.

2. Make Amateur Porn

Guys are visual, period. They need to see things to get off. Women can use their imaginations all day long and imagine in great detail everything they need to during a masturbation session, but men find that very difficult. It’s much easier if they can look at a bouncy pair of breasts or a dripping wet….well, you get the picture – while they get the job done. So if you’re tired of him looking at other women instead of you, don’t ask him to stop looking at porn flat out – because that’s not going to happen. Instead, make porn for him – of you!

Take some naughty pictures of yourself or have a trusted friend do it. You can throw the digitals into a free, easy to use online editing program to make yourself look your best – or if you REALLY want to go all out, have professional boudoir photos done. If he has some really sexy pictures of YOU to look at, he might not go looking at other girls all that often.

3. How Do You Look?

Guys like different body types. Some men enjoy very thin, athletic women, while other guys like a few rolls they can grab on to while they slam into you from behind. It’s all about personal preference. So don’t assume that your man wants to see you skin and bones just because that’s what all the Victoria’s Secret lingerie ads look like. But take some time to really think about the type of body your man does find attractive. This is where checking out his porn collection can come in handy. Are all the girls a little round, while you look like you just ran a marathon? Try packing on a couple pounds if you’re comfortable with that.

Does he seem to like more athletic women, while you’re a little more round? Try getting healthier and losing a few pounds, if you’re comfortable with it. You don’t have to change your looks to become a complete carbon copy of his little porno mistresses, but if you take some time to think about what HE really likes and try to meet those desires a little, you’ll notice a huge difference in how much more attention he pays to you.

4. Get Some Damn Confidence

Honestly, it doesn’t matter THAT much to your guy what you’re packing. He wouldn’t be with you if he didn’t find you at least somewhat attractive. You want to know the biggest difference between those porn girls and you? Confidence! They know what they’re doing, they’re confident in their ability to do it well and that translates on screen. Slip on a pair of heels, strut your stuff and act like you KNOW you look good! Because you do! Just a change in your attitude and enthusiasm about the way you look and sex in general is enough to get him to turn off the tube and follow you to the bedroom.

5. Have More Sex

Next time he wants it, don’t brush him off. Don’t tell him you have a headache, don’t tell him you’re on your period, don’t tell him that you “just don’t feel like it” and most certainly, you should not do it and fake an orgasm. Just get into it! The more sex you have, the more you’re going to want it. Same goes for him. If he knows he can get mind blowing sex pretty much any time he wants, he’s not going to want the porn as much, if at all. So don’t wave him off next time he appears interested in having sex with you. Turn the interest right around and pounce on him! Give him something to remember next time he goes looking for something good to watch. He might just say, “Forget it!” and go looking for you instead!

How To Seduce An Older Woman

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Seduction isn’t always easy, especially if you’re honing in on an experienced cougar. Here’s how you can seduce a lady who’s a bit wiser (in years) than you.

The allure of a more mature woman can be intoxicating to younger men. Older women have more experience, know exactly what they want and they can be a lot of fun. Men in their early to mid 20s love older women because they tend to be more mature and straightforward both in the bedroom and out of it. Women in their early 20s like to play head games and beat around the bush in what they want out of a relationship. Older women take all of the hassle out of dating and are usually established financially and emotionally. If you would like to know how to seduce a mature woman but don’t know how to engage them, there are a few things that you should know beforehand.

Forget Everything You Think You Know About Women

One of the biggest aspects of using seduction on younger girls is using flare. Money, power, job titles all come into play when you are seducing a younger girl. This doesn’t apply to older women. Seducing a mature woman doesn’t require a position at a high paying law firm or a sports car. More than likely, an older girl will be financially secure. In fact, they will probably make more money that you do. This is okay. You just have to learn how to use your other attributes to appeal to them. Forget everything that you think you know about women when you are trying to seduce an older girl. Talk to them as you would a friend or a colleague, but keep sexual tension.

Have Confidence

Older women can be intimidating. This is not a new concept. Many men get hung up on whether or not a mature woman would actually date them instead of the other way around. A woman in her 40’s wants confidence. Attraction is not built through physicality alone. You must be confident and show her what you have to offer other than what is in your pants. Appeal to her emotional side. Challenge her thinking in conversation. All women want a challenge, but to seduce an mature woman you need to take it to the next level. Do everything that you wouldn’t do with a younger girl. Talk about politics, religion or other controversial issues without allowing the conversation to get heated. This shows your confidence and will separate you from the rest of the guys trying to gain her affection.

Be Established

Yes, she’s established, but that doesn’t mean that she’s going to pay your bills. Older women don’t want a leach. They want somebody that is going to hold their own. This doesn’t mean that you need to be a millionaire; it just means that you need to be in a position where you can pick up the bill every once in a while. Show her that you are ambitious and that you know what you want out of life. Younger guys tend to use older women as a crutch. You want to separate yourself from the other guys trying to date her.

Be Mature

Everything about you should present an image of maturity. The way that you dress, the way that you speak, the food that you eat and the way that you handle yourself are all taken into account when trying to seduce. The days of bummy t-shirts and ripped pants should be over. Tuck in your shirt and get a decent pair of dress shoes when taking them out. Maturity is in the details. Ironing your clothes, keeping your car and your home clean are all signs that you are mature. Take pride in yourself and in her. This will show the ultimate amount of maturity.

Be Physical Without Being Creepy

Seducing an older girl is all about comfort. The age difference could make the situation awkward from the beginning. However, if you are getting the vibe from an older woman, be as physical as possible without being creepy. Don’t touch her legs at first. Go for the lower back, shoulders or arms to start out. These are key stepping-stones to get you into the majors. Older women love sex, but they need to feel comfortable first. Don’t mess it up by getting too touchy right off the bat. Build rapport and then you can start getting bold.

An more mature woman is sophisticated and can be a lot of fun. They will challenge you in the way that you see yourself. Presenting yourself as an equal is the best way to seduce a mature woman. Although you may not have the financial means to be an equal with her, an emotional equality will be enough to get you through to the next round.

Best Online Dating Tips Of 2011

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Online dating can be an excellent way to meet new people – so check out our best suggestions of this year and make a goal to meet someone in 2012!

Don’t forget to take a look at some of our all-time favorite online dating articles! The tips and advice here will help you pimp your profile to the max so you get maximum exposure to the people you’re interested in, as well as teach you what to say and what to do when you find someone you really like. You won’t have success in online dating without these great suggestions!

We’ve also spent this year searching for great dating resources to help you up your game and meet more people than ever before. We want you to have the confidence and the know-how to approach someone you’re interested in, ask them out, get a number, wow them with an incredible first date and sweep them off their feet! Although these resources aren’t specifically for online dating, they contain the SECRETS to dating (online or otherwise) that every man should know – that is, if he ever wants to snag a date!

  • Pandora’s Box (THE definitive resource on ALL things dating – after this, you’ll be able to date ANY woman you want!)
  • 300 Creative Dates (great for when you actually take your online romance into the real world – you’ll learn unique, inexpensive dates that will totally capture a woman’s heart! NO OTHER GUY has ever taken her on dates like these before!)