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Sex Tips & Advice

Orgasm Tips – How The Orgasm Cycle Works In Men And Women

By loveandsex

An orgasm is the icing on the cake when it comes to sex, but men and women don’t experience an orgasm the same way. Here’s how to understand the difference.

The “Human Sexual Response” is a cycle of 4 stages. They are:

  • Excitement
  • Plateau
  • Orgasm
  • Resolution

Stage One – Excitement

This happens the first instance you see a scrumptious fox on the street (or on TV). Really, any physical or psychological event that causes parasympathetic nerve stimulation can commence the cycle. The stimuli vary and may also take the form of a sound, emotion or a naughty thought.

Things get ugly right away – your heart starts racing, respiratory rates shoot up, blood flow to the genitals increases. In seconds, little Johnny would have grown a few inches. Your scrotum thickens and the testes rise. It’s official, you’re horny.

A woman similarly experiences increased blood flow to the genital area, causing her clitoris to swell. The vagina increases in diameter & length, her cervix and uterus are pulled up. She starts producing more lubrication and is getting very wet. Her breast and nipples become erect, and she starts breathing heavily as heart and respiratory rates shoot up.

Now, while there are many similarities in how the genders experience Excitement, there is one glaring difference. Generally, MEN GET HOT IN AN INSTANT. Snap! And we’re good to go. Women need a reasonable time. For the life of us, we cannot understand why it takes a woman ages to be ready. For her part, she can’t comprehend the ridiculous speeds with which guys can be neutral one second and insanely horny the next.

Recognize this distinction in arousal speeds. This single disparity will snowball through intercourse. Because they get aroused in an instant, men will often misjudge the readiness of their partners as they lustfully advance to the rest of the stages. As a result, women often feel left behind, even left out of the SEX. Not good.

Stage Two – Plateau

“Plateau” may bring images of restful leisure, but don’t be mislead, PLATEAU is a turbulent stage – no restful leisure here. Remember those ugly things that take over your body during the Excitement Stage? Well, they continue with full abandon during Plateau.

Heart rate reaches as high as 175 lustful beats a minute. Respiratory rates remind you of your track and field days, (who says sex isn’t a sport?) Your penis undergoes extreme congestion and you’ll be seriously thinking if it can explode or fly off your body. This is where you do most of the works – kissing, sucking, penetration, sexual positions etc.

Stage Three – Orgasm

Orgasm, this is the money-maker right here. Lasting only a few seconds, O’s are considered the most ecstatic moments of a person’s existence. After tension building in stages 1&2, blood congestion in the genitals is suddenly and decisively expelled through muscular contractions. This may sound straightforward, but the euphoria of discharging built-up tension sends people through the roof, profanity may be the only sufficient way to describe a pleasure-intensive experience.

Male vs. Female Orgasm

ROUND 1 – The First Blow

Who can orgasm faster?

Both male & female, with proper stimulation, can peak in 2 minutes or less. However, consider the labels. A man who ejaculates in a heartbeat becomes a Premature Ejaculator – a woman achieving the same feat, with moans and everything, is called a keeper.

ROUND 2 – Point Of No Return & Refractory Period

The POINT OF NO RETURN (PNR) is the point of stimulation after which no force in heaven or earth can stop a man from having an orgasm.

During masturbation or intercourse, a man crosses a line after which it is impossible to stop climaxing…even if he stops stimulation. It doesn’t matter if the security guard is about to walk in on them, he will climax, it’s going to happen and there’s nothing anybody can do about it. (Premature ejaculators should back-off or tone down stimulation before reaching PNR.)

Here’s the thing: Women don’t have PNR. Even when she’s on the verge of having an orgasm, you can easily frustrate her orgasm by suddenly changing the rhythm or focus of stimulation, for example. You have to build and stimulate a woman ALL THE WAY, plus the follow through.

Looks like women got the raw deal here, huh?

Not really. There’s something to balance this out – the REFRACTORY PERIOD. Guess what – only men have them too! This is the few minutes after orgasm when the penis begins limping, during which it’s impossible to reach orgasm.

Post climax, the Refractory Period sets in and no force in heaven or earth can make a man cum. A woman may give the best head, but it’s not going to happen, and there’s nothing you can do about it, Anna!

Women don’t have this Refractory Period. Whereas an orgasm returns men to pre-arousal levels, an ‘O’ brings Eve to pre-orgasmic levels. They simply return to blissful levels of the Plateau, capable of approaching orgasm again. That’s why they can hit a string of climaxes – also known as multiple orgasms!

After catching her breath, and about half a minute of extreme clitoral sensitivity, she can simply continue like nothing happened. If she so desires, she can jump off the cliff again and again like an Energizer bunny without any refractory bother. Only guys have the PNR and the RP.

ROUND 3 – Staying Power

For guys, an orgasm often signals the end. For many women, it’s really just the beginning – sort of a warm-up.

She may feel perfectly satisfied after one soulful blow, but she can definitely gun for more. While men find subsequent orgasms less satisfying and more difficult to build, women stack theirs – which means subsequent O’s are easier to build and can be stronger in intensity.

Ensuing blows are sweeter, deeper, more satisfying than the first one, some ladies even have problems when reaching the 4th or 5th because they don’t wish to stop anymore! They enter an “orgasmic cloud” where climaxes become blurred one from another and the whole experience blends into one long-lasting orgasm. It becomes an orgasmic overdrive and if not for sheer exhaustion, they wouldn’t retire.

It may take a girl some time to heat up, but she sure makes up for it later.

STAGE FOUR – The Resolution

After all that orgasmic hooplah, comes the Resolution – the period when genitals return to their unaroused state.

If men don’t gun for another climax after the Refractory Period, then the Resolution Stage automatically sets in. Since women have no refractory period after orgasm, they simply return to pre-orgasmic levels of the Plateau until they decide enough is enough.

Filed Under: Orgasm Tagged With: female orgasm, have better sex, orgasm, sex tips

Foreplay Tips – 3 Phenomenal Ways To Give Women Extended Orgasms!

By lloydlester

Foreplay is a great way to make sure that your partner is satisfied during sex. These three foreplay suggestions will help you get your girl hotter than ever!

When it comes to sex, many men tend to do away with foreplay and get into the act of intercourse right away. While that may fulfill your sexual desires, the same cannot be said of your woman. If you truly want to add some zest into your sex life and make sure she enjoys every moment of lovemaking with you, you should never skim on this important aspect of lovemaking. Keep reading for three essential foreplay tips that will surely light her passion and keeping her orgasmic engine revving wildly!

Bring On The Adult Books

There is something about adult literature that porn movies can never match up: it allows your partner to use her own erotic imagination to visualize what goes on in those story lines. Believe me, this is far more powerful than popping that adult movie into the DVD player. So grab one of those adult books and read them to her and watch as her vivid imagination goes wild!

Bring On The Big Sex Toys

Sex toys are doing a thriving business these days and they play a far more essential role in your sex lives than you would probably imagine. Vibrators and dildos will help you learn more about her body and what turns her on the most. For instance, different women prefer different speed, intensity and even angles of penetration. By learning what she likes best when using these toys, you can mimic or replicate the same movements on her when making love so that she receives maximum pleasure from you. Well, sex toys are not just for ladies. For example, the penis ring is a great aid to help men last longer in bed and give her a more sensational experience to boot!

Talk Dirty – With A Difference!

How about engaging in a sexy conversation through phone? Many couples who are a little too inhibited in bed find themselves far more liberated when they talk dirty though the phone. It can take the shyness off her when she cannot see you face to face. By engaging in phone sex, you can really get her to loosen up herself, and with the help of a little dose of alcohol, you may even spice up the conversation! And you don’t have to be far apart to engage in phone sex. Call her at home while you are just in the next room!

Filed Under: Foreplay Tagged With: female orgasm, foreplay, have better sex, orgasm, sex tips, Sex Toys

6 Places To Never Overlook When Giving An Erotic Massage

By loveandsex

Erotic massage can lead up to some great sex, but make sure you don’t miss any of THESE areas – or your erotic massage will flop before you ever have sex!

There are few things that feel better than a massage. It can be relaxing or invigorating, subtle or intimate, sensual or straightforward. Here are some unusual suggestions to share a massage with your partner that will prime her for the orgasm experience of her life.

As our skin is an organ, every little bit of it is covered in sensitive nerve endings and the same is true for your partner. Lest we not forget some of the more hidden away, less known or irregularly used areas begging to be touched, let’s discuss briefly where they are, and how to touch them to get your partner aroused and excited.

The Neck And Shoulders

There are few things better than a nice massage after a long day. Grab the massage oils and start rubbing her lightly, then increase your intensity as her muscles warm to your touch. Look for the cues that your partner is giving you, they’ll let you know if they want a harder or softer touch by the way they respond and move. Add some kisses up and down her spine, neck and shoulders, and you’ll add a romantic feel to the already relaxing benefits.

Ears

When kissing a woman’s neck and shoulders, throw in a little ear nibbling too. Gently lick inside the ear lobe but don’t go too crazy with your tongue. The key is finesse and a lightness of touch; you want her to shiver with pleasure, not recoil with wetness.

Hands And Fingers

A lot of people over look the hands and fingers but there are a lot of sensitive nerve endings in this part of the body. Massage each hand thoroughly with a bit of massage oil, taking special attention to rub each finger, as this feels very good. If you are feeling adventurous bring them up to your mouth and suck on each finger, or if she’s struggling to get in the mood, try massaging the soft flesh in between her index finger and thumb to magically melt away her headache or tension.

Feet

Massaging someone’s feet can be very intimate, depending on how you go about it. Maybe even grab a reflexology chart specifically made for lovers that you can attach to her feet such as the Sexy Love Sock – this way you know exactly where to rub to relax the corresponding body part. Just make sure to massage with enough pressure so that you don’t get her laughing and tensing up from being tickled.

Inside Of The Elbows/Back Of The Knees

These crooks aren’t touched very often, so why not give them a bit of attention too? Use the tips of your fingers to lightly scratch these areas, starting just before the bend and ending just after; it’s an easy way to give your partner goosebumps and in a way that few others will seek out and try.

The Face And Scalp

We’re not talking about the kinds of caresses that you give when you’re just about to kiss a woman. No, these are deeper strokes that relax a woman around her face and scalp. Try lying her down on her back, and putting your thumbs along the inner sides of her nose where it meets her eyebrows. Push lightly to see how much pressure she likes (it can hurt or throb at bit at first if she holds tension here) and then move your fingers just a hair out towards the edge of her eyebrows and repeat. Move along the entire eyebrow area in this manner. Some spots will be much more tender than others, so make sure she tells you how each one feels, and spend extra time anywhere it’s really sensitive.

Then, move behind her and fan your fingers over her hairline so that your thumbs are at the top of her head, your index fingers are almost together, and your pinkies are by her ears, then rub small, firm circles. Ever so slowly move your fingers as you rub towards the back of her head, and soon you’ll have a puddle of a woman at your feet. She’ll definitely be ready for sex after this!

Filed Under: Foreplay Tagged With: erotic massage, foreplay, seduction, sex tips

Last Longer In Bed Naturally With These 2 Fool Proof Tips!

By jackgrave

Last longer in bed and wow your girl with only these two simple, easy to do suggestions. Last longer in bed starting TONIGHT!

The secret to lasting longer in bed is to understand that premature ejaculation is all in your head. Now as much of an oversimplification as that sounds, it really is true. The biggest difference between the men who can last longer in bed and those who can’t is what goes on in their head.

Sure, there are a few strategies and techniques that can help you last longer in bed too, but you can make a dramatic difference in how long you last just by making a few distinctions and changes to what goes through your head before and during sex.

So below I want to show you the things that men who last longer in bed do differently to those who don’t so you can copy them and start having better sex right now!

They Don’t Take Sex Too Seriously

A major cause of premature ejaculation is anxiety and stress. Some studies claim that experiencing these emotions cause your body to release the hormones adrenaline and dopamine into the bloodstream which have been found to encourage premature ejaculation.

It’s no surprise then that the people who seem to last long in bed are the ones who don’t worry too much about sex and don’t take it too seriously. Why not join these people? Because when you think about it, there’s no real need to worry that much about sex. Sex is perfectly natural and is something that has been happening between people for hundreds of thousands of years, so why stress about it? If something goes wrong there’ll always be another chance to have sex.

This relaxed kind of attitude is shared by most men who can last long in bed so why not adopt it yourself? You’ll no doubt start enjoying sex a lot more when you stop taking it so seriously and allow yourself to just have some fun.

They Consciously Relax Themselves

No man is perfect and every man at times feels stressed even if he has some empowering beliefs about sex like the ones I just talked about. But the other thing that makes the difference between men who last and those who don’t lies in how they HANDLE stress. Most men who experience premature ejaculation don’t know how to handle stress, anxiety and nervousness when it arises.

And as a result often it will end up taking over and causing premature orgasm. The men who last longer in bed have a different strategy. When stress arises for them they react differently. These men don’t just let it swell and grow, they take a time out. They stop what they’re doing, stop their thoughts from running, just stop everything and they take a moment to consciously relax their body and mind and take in some long deep breaths.

Before they know it, their stress is gone.

It really can be as easy as that, but you’ve got to remember to actually do it. It’s too easy to let yourself get caught up in the moment and let your worries snowball. If you do catch yourself worrying about sex just stop what you’re doing for a minute and just observe your thoughts while you relax and take in a deep breath. The transformational effect it will have on how long you last is nothing short of phenomenal.

Filed Under: Erectile Dysfunction / Last Longer In Bed Tagged With: last longer in bed, orgasm, premature ejaculation, sex tips

Striptease Tips: Entice Your Guy Before Oral Sex With Lingerie!

By loveandsex

A striptease is definitely great visual stimulation for a man before oral sex. But if you can’t dance, lingerie is another great option to make his eyes pop!

A striptease always in order, but as many women are not only self conscious about their bodies but their dance moves as well, this is not an option for everyone. If you like to dance though, throw on a cute outfit and pop in a sexy song while giving your partner an eyeful and a lap dance. We promise, it won’t be long before your partner can’t stand it anymore and is nearly busting out of his zipper. If you want to try doing a striptease before fellatio and are a little worried that your dancing isn’t up to scratch, stop worrying! Almost all men aren’t paying attention to how well you are dancing or anything of that nature. They’re too busy watching choice body parts jiggle and gyrate.

If You’re Not Into Doing A Striptease

Not a striptease kind of gal? Not to worry – a nice piece of lingerie can work wonders as well. Just make sure it is something you feel comfortable in and maximizes your best assets. Your partner may have a preference to the type of lingerie he likes but honestly, most men don’t care what type it is (whether it’s bikini cut or boy cut, etc.) as long as it’s lacy and see through! Women that are uncomfortable about having small breasts can buy lingerie with a little bit of padding for an extra lift and women that are concerned about their tummy can purchase what is called a “baby doll” type of lingerie – a sexy bra with a sheer or lacy material attached to it to flow over the tummy. It is enough to cover you up but it is still enticing!

How To Buy The Right Lingerie

  • Find a lingerie store with dimmed lighting – no one will feel comfortable in lingerie underneath harsh, fluorescent lighting. If it’s not possible to find a store with dim lighting, consider buying your size and keeping the tags on and the receipt handy while you try it on at home. If it doesn’t fit, you can take it back.
  • Absolutely wear something that you find yourself attractive in and feel comfortable in. If you are not comfortable and confident, you will not look sexy to your partner before fellatio!  Isn’t that the whole point of lingerie? Even if your breasts are not hanging out and the lingerie is simple, if you can walk over to your partner and feel like a bombshell then your partner will probably think you’re a bombshell!

How To Give Him Even More Eye Candy

Interestingly enough, oral sex is a good visual tool by itself. Your mouth working up and down his hard penis may be just enough eye candy for him – and you guessed it – most guys like to watch while you do it! This feels incredibly good to a man – it makes the connection between mind and body and gives the fellatio a whole new aspect to it. You can also look him in the eye while giving him fellatio if you and your partner enjoy this. The more visual stimulation during a fellatio session, the better!

If you’re not comfortable with your partner watching you while you perform fellatio on him, you can try dimming the lights or using candlelight. This may help relax both of you and it will help set the mood for fellatio. Dim lighting or candlelight is somewhat of a compromise between full lighting and complete darkness – your partner gets to see you perform fellatio on him but you get the comfort of not doing so in the blaring lights.

Filed Under: Oral Sex Tagged With: fellatio, lingerie, oral sex, striptease. lap dance

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