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You are here: Home / Archives for Sex & Intimacy

Sex Tips & Advice

Should You Try Water Bondage?

By loveandsex

Water bondage is form of restraint that includes playing with water in addition to ropes, ties and gags. Having sex in the pool or shower is definitely fun, and restraining your partner can be too. Should you combine the two and try water bondage? Or is it really something better left to the hardcore sex lovers?

What Is Water Bondage?

Water bondage is a type of BDSM sex act where water is used in addition to ropes, restraints, gags and other equipment. The sub in this situation is usually tied up or gagged, and either sprayed or dunked. Often, the sprays are strong and painful, as this is a part of the “torture” involved in this type of activity.

Sometimes a Houdini tank is used in professional scenarios, and in intense situations, a breathing apparatus may be used as well. Breath play involves dunking the sub underwater and forcing them to hold their breath for as long as possible, giving them the sensation of  pressure on their lungs and invoking the fear of drowning.

Is Water Bondage Dangerous?

Water bondage can be very dangerous if not done properly, especially when working with a large body of water. It’s not something that should be taken lightly – it’s a very, very hardcore form of domination and most people aren’t going to be into it. You really have to be enjoy the pain or fear factor to enjoy it. Here’s why it can be more dangerous than it is fun and why you might want to leave it to the professionals:

Dunking

Dunking can be especially dangerous, because the sub is not able to speak or make gestures to let someone know if they are running out of air. This can easily cause the sub to drown, because no one really knows how long they can really hold their breath. If the dom is particularly aroused by the dunking, he or she may be more apt to leave the sub underwater for longer than they can handle.

Spraying

Spraying is another popular form of water bondage, which includes spraying high pressure streams on the sub while they are tied up or restrained. The higher the pressure, the more it hurts, so in some scenarios, the sprays will be from high pressure, industrial type hoses. In soft core scenarios, the sprays may be from a shower head or a regular hose.

Staying Safe

While this is an extreme form of BDSM and is therefore dangerous in and of itself, there are some ways that you can try to stay as safe as possible if you decide to engage in an activity like this. Going for light bondage or sex in the water can be a great way to get your “feet wet” so to speak, without engaging in the type of activity that hardcore BDSM fans like to do.

Don’t Use Gags

While a gag can be fun during other types of BDSM play, it can take the danger level of water bondage up quite a bit. Being submerged or sprayed heavily can make it difficult or impossible to breathe. A gag also makes it difficult to breathe, and when you combine the two, it can be almost impossible for a sub to catch his or her breath properly. Choose one or the other, but avoid using both.

Avoid Submersion

Submersion or dunking is probably the most intense part of this form of BDSM and is probably the most dangerous. Some hardcore fetish websites feature women or men being chained or tied up in a tub or tank, where they are barely able to get their heads out enough to breathe. This may seem erotic, but it’s actually incredibly dangerous. Spray your sub with a hose, but avoid submerging them.

Come Up With A Safe Word/Gesture

With any BDSM play, it’s important to have a safe word picked out before you start. With hardcore play, a gesture might be in order if a gag is being used or the sub cannot speak for other reasons. If you’re using a gag, do not bind the hands so much that the safe gesture cannot be used and if the hands are bound, do not gag the mouth so the safe word cannot be used. Make sure that both the dom and the sub agree that all play stops immediately if the safe word or gesture is used!

Filed Under: Bondage, Fetishes, & Fantasies Tagged With: bdsm, bondage, domination, fetishes, masochism, sex tips

5 Tricks To Lasting All Night Long

By isabellastone

Premature ejaculation affects a lot of guys. Tell me if this scenario sounds familiar: you’re in bed with a girl, you’re both enjoying yourselves, and you’re about to wow her with your next move when wham! You finish early. Your girl smiles and mumbles something, and you feel like a sexual failure.

This scene is all too common, but it thankfully can be avoided next time with just a few tweaks. Use the following tips next time you feel the need to push off that inevitable moment, and last all night.

Distract Yourself

Forget the usual advice to “think about baseball.” Or Margaret Thatcher naked. You don’t want to be scared off sex forever! It may seem counter-intuitive, but the best thing to distract yourself with is how sex feels, looks, even smells and tastes.

Instead of mindlessly pumping away toward the Big O, pay attention to other things, like how soft your partner’s skin is, the curve of her neck, or the pain of her nails dragging down your back. Notice the smell of her skin and the wetness between her thighs. When you become mindful, you can last longer and enjoy the sexual experience more. What could be better than that?

Concentrate On Her Pleasure

Instead of focusing on yourself, make it all about her. Choose positions that feel best for her (trust me, she’ll let you know when you’ve hit the right spot). Pay attention to her body’s cues, and you won’t be so hung up on your own.

Women are all about foreplay, so if you can make the foreplay last a long time it won’t matter if you finish shortly after the actual sex starts because in her head it started long before the actual penetration. Once she’s had a few orgasms, keep going, and try to get a new personal “high score.” Remember, a high percentage of women are multi-orgasmic, so challenge yourself to give her more than last time! Making the experience better for her is going to not only improve your stamina but will also improve your sexual reputation.

Change Sex Positions

This is the single easiest thing you can do to avoid premature ejaculation. If you feel yourself getting a bit too heated in one position, move to a completely different one. If you are in doggy style, move to missionary. The trick is to really change it up-moving from one variation of doggie to another isn’t going to cut it. Be careful not to change sex positions too frequently, as it is going to take her out of the mood and feel more like a distraction than anything else.

Wear A Condom

First of all, you should be practicing safe sex anyway, and for most of you, that means wearing a condom. However, if you are in a long term relationship, or you’ve both been tested and she’s on the pill, condoms might not seem like a necessity. If you’re having trouble lasting, though, that little prophylactic can be a lifesaver. We all know that condoms can dull sensation? In this case, a little dulling is exactly what you need. There are plenty of good brands out there now that feel almost like you’re not wearing anything, except that little extra something can keep you lasting much longer.

Change Your Masturbation Habits

If I were to tell you to stop masturbating altogether, and you were to actually listen, your next sexual encounter would probably be record for shortest time between start and finish. I won’t tell you to stop the self-love! I will, however, let you in on a secret. When you are young and just discovering masturbation, you tend to do it fast and furiously, which made sense back then because you were trying not to get caught. Nowadays you hopefully have more leisure but probably still use the vice-grip, carpal-tunnel inducing, furious shake technique you used at 14. Stop it!

Use your self-love time to retrain your body to sustain an erection. Use the start-stop technique of backing off when you feel an orgasm coming on. Doing that a few times will not only train your penis to stay hard without cumming, it will also make the inevitable payoff mind-blowingly better than your normal orgasm.

This technique also translates well to the bedroom. Slow down every time you’re on the verge and by the time you do climax the release will be incredible.

Being an amazing lover isn’t all about lasting longer in bed, but using these tricks to make yourself last longer can have the effect of making you a better lover. With just a few simple tweaks to your technique, you can improve your stamina, keep going all night long, and make yourself seem like a sex god in her eyes. It’s a win-win for both of you.

Filed Under: Erectile Dysfunction / Last Longer In Bed Tagged With: condoms, foreplay, how to last longer in bed, last longer in bed, male orgasm, masturbation, premature ejaculation, sex tips

Women’s Masturbation Secrets – REVEALED!

By loveandsex

I have some shocking news. Girls like to masturbate. Of course they do, masturbation is really fun! They masturbate far more than you give them credit for. In fact, for a shockingly large amount of women, that is the only way they can achieve orgasm. While you’re aimlessly poking around down below, she’s thinking, “Whatever, just fake it so he’ll stop. I can take care of myself later.” This is not because of your inadequacies as a lover, nor is it unfixable. It’s simply a lack of understanding how her body works.

Men and women experience sex in very differently. For men it’s relatively easy: see woman, want to have sex with woman, hopefully penis will touch woman. Obviously that is an oversimplification, but, compared to the woman’s experience, that’s all it is. If you develop a better understanding of how women satisfy themselves, perhaps it would seem less complicated.

She Creates A Mood

In order to achieve orgasm, a woman needs the right atmosphere. She doesn’t light candles and get out the satin sheets every time she masturbates; she just needs to feel comfortable. If not, she can’t concentrate on the task at hand, so to speak. If she is too cold or too exposed or too anything that distracts her pleasure, it’s not going to happen. That sounds daunting, but finding the right ambient balance isn’t too difficult if her mind is calm. Plus, extreme horniness will always overtake any environmental distractions.

She Sets A Pace

Regardless of the method, a woman fingers herself rhythmically. Meaning, there is an even flow of strokes and caresses, allowing her to concentrate on the sensations each touch gives. A choppy technique can be distraction. Whereas a man responds to physical stimulation alone, a woman puts herself into an almost meditative state. Otherwise, no amount of touching will induce orgasm. Again, this sounds quite complicated to men, but a woman does know how to adjust her focus in different situations.

She Has A Specific Technique

All women have that one sure-fire orgasm making technique. This is not to say that a woman has only one way of satisfying herself, but she does have a method that guarantees her orgasm. I know that you are hoping that I’m about to tell you what it is, but I’m not. It is as diverse as ladies themselves. Some women like direct manual stimulation of the head of the clitoris, but some ladies are far too sensitive and require indirect stimulation. There are even girls who can get off just by rubbing their inner thighs. Whatever her technique, find out what it is, and learn to employ it in given situations.

She Uses A Vibrator

Many girls start out using their fingers during masturbation, but it doesn’t take long for them to graduate to sex toys when they get older. Once a woman tries a vibrator, there’s often no going back – simply because a vibrator offers pleasure whenever she wants it and can make her orgasm fast and hard. Girls are busy ladies after all, and they don’t always have time to sit around and finger themselves for an hour until they reach climax. Instead, using a vibrator can help her get things done quickly, with just as much – if not more – pleasure than if she used her hands alone.

She Reads Erotic Novels

Men look at porn when they masturbate, but women don’t respond to visual stimuli the way men do. They prefer to use their imaginations to think about sex and different sexual scenarios that turn them on. Sometimes, women can do this on their own without any help at all, but other times, she may enjoy reading a romantic or erotic novel before she masturbates or while she’s doing it. Girls love using erotic novels for masturbation because it really gets their biggest sexual organ involved – their brain!

She Does It More Than Once

If a girl reaches orgasm through masturbation once, it’s likely that she’ll do it again a few times before she’s thoroughly finished. Many times, girls will experience their first round of multiple orgasms through masturbation, simply because they stop after the first orgasm but realize they don’t feel quite done yet. Unlike men, girls don’t go back down to an unaroused state after their first orgasm. Instead, they go back to the “plateau” phase – which comes after the foreplay phase but before the orgasmic phase. That makes it much easier for her to reach orgasm again after the first time!

Filed Under: Masturbation Tagged With: clitoris, female masturbation, female orgasm, fingering, masturbation, orgasm, Sex Toys, vagina, vibrator

Top 10 Best Places To Have A Quickie

By loveandsex

Sex can be super fast and incredibly fun – it’s called a quickie. Getting it on with a time limit of several minutes can leave you and your partner flushed, exhilarated and wanting more. Here are some excellent places to go when you want to get busy on the fly.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9bBkm6aHoU[/youtube]

On A Hospital Elevator

Having sex in a hospital elevator can definitely lift a somber mood, and it’s even better when you’re at the hospital for something happy like the birth of a baby. Heck, why not practice making a baby right then and there? Press the stop button (make sure there’s not an alarm on it) and go at it. And you definitely want to press the stop button – hospital elevators are well known for stopping at almost every floor to let doctors and nurses off and on. Also, watch where you’re going! The elevator may very well take you into the morgue.

The Exam Table At The Doctor’s Office

Forget reading magazines or organizing your to-do list on your phone while you wait for the doctor to come in and examine you. Instead, hop up on the exam table and grab a quickie! It can make the wait less boring, but you do stand a chance of getting caught. Also, you may very well leave evidence – like semen – behind for the nurses to find when they flip the room for the next patient. You don’t want that noted in your chart!

In Your Neighbor’s Pool

Sex in the water is super fun, and it can feel extra naughty when you get busy in your neighbor’s pool while they’re gone. If you like the idea of possibly getting caught, plan to do it when they’ve gone off to the store or are just running errands. If you definitely don’t want to get caught (and if you want to turn your quickie into something more leisurely), choose a time that they’re on vacation or staying somewhere for a day or two and you know they won’t be back for quite some time.

Your Parent’s Bedroom

Bring back the feelings you had when you were a teenager and were trying to get some on the fly before your parents caught you by having sex in their bedroom. As an adult, you know you’re not going to get in trouble like you did when you were a kid, but getting caught can still be kind of embarrassing. For those who want a quickie but don’t want to risk the parents busting in, do it in their vacation house or while they’re not home.

On The Bathroom Floor (Yours Or Someone Else’s)

The bathroom floor is a great place for a quick romp, because it will make you feel sexy, dirty and a little raunchy! Even more so if you’re doing it in a public bathroom or at a friend’s house. Make sure the bathroom is clean though – either lay down a blanket of some kind or use standing sex positions.

In An Empty Bedroom Or Closet At A Friend’s Party

If you’re at a party and are feeling a little tipsy, your inhibitions are definitely down. It’s a perfect time to take advantage of your need to feel a little risque, so grab your partner and head to an empty bedroom or closet at a friend’s party. If it’s a wild party, you can pretty much guarantee that there are other people all over the house doing the exact same thing – just don’t be surprised if you walk in on another couple getting busy when you’re looking for a place to go yourself!

Doggy Style Looking Out Over An Observation Deck

Sometimes, you need a quickie with a view. If you live near a mountain or lake with some kind of observation deck, it can be an incredible place to get down on all fours and do it doggy style. The reason for doggy style sex here? So you can both take in the surroundings!

In The Empty Moving Van Before Returning It On Moving Day

You’ve finished moving, and you and your partner are completely exhausted – and exhilarated. You’re both covered in sweat and looking mighty fine – so why not throw down a blanket in the empty moving van and get busy? Sex or oral sex is great here – just leave the door cracked open so you can get out! You definitely don’t want to get locked in a moving van. Someone will eventually find you, but what are they going to think when they open the door and find you and your partner alone with nothing else in there?

In A Tanning Bed

Having sex in a tanning bed can be great fun, but there’s a few things to watch out for. Make sure that you and your partner’s combined weight don’t exceed the weight limit of the tanning bed. You don’t want to get busted by breaking the bed, and you’ll most likely be financially responsible for the damage. Also, limit it to a quickie, because you’ll end up with some funky tan lines if you stay in there longer than just a few minutes!

The Stairwell Of An Apartment Building

This is probably one of the best places to get busy on the fly. It has everything you need – good seating, handrails if you get really wild (or want to play with a little bondage), and privacy. Most people take the elevator in apartments, so if you sneak into the stairwell, you’re unlikely to get caught. It’s even less likely you’ll get caught if you pick a time where most everyone is in bed.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: doggy style, have better sex, quickie, sex tips

It Was Supposed To Be Just A Fling…Is It?

By dicksinthecity

Sex can be casual, or it can mean something more. What do you do if the sex wasn’t supposed to mean anything, but you start having romantic feelings?

There’s this hot guy and the office. He was a so hot, I couldn’t help myself…neither could he. We hang out, hook up, then show up at work like we can’t stand each other. It was strictly a “no strings” deal going in, but all I do is think about doing him. Am I developing feelings?

What She Said:

It sounds like you’re getting good sex, so congratulations are in order! And, given that you mentioned you’re thinking about sex all the time, it sounds like it’s the act you’re attached to – not the guy.

It reads like an ideal situation and you’re both doing everything “right.” You’ve agreed on the boundaries (you don’t spend the night and you don’t discuss it at work); as well as what kind of relationship you’d like (sex with no strings). I’m going to assume that birth control and safety from STD’s have also been discussed. An accidental pregnancy is a quick way to snafu non-attachment!

Women Naturally Develop Emotional Attachments

In broad biological terms, women are hardwired to get attached to men they sleep with – it’s released in our hormones when we mate, so there’s no getting around that reality. But there is a way to beat it. If you feel you’re falling for this guy, take a step back emotionally and physically. Journal, talk to yourself in front of the mirror, write “NO” on the back of your hand, splash cold water over your face – whatever it takes to wake up and remind yourself what you’re really getting out of this situation. You might think you’re falling in love with him, when you’re really only falling for his body.

What you’re getting out of this is valuable. Sex is a healthy and necessary part of life and it sounds like you have a good physical connection with this guy. You both knew what you wanted from the get-go, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Keep your priorities in check and treat each other with respect – you’ll be fine. If emotions are starting to surface, be honest and see what happens. In the meantime, enjoy!

What He Said:

Sounds like he just plain screwed you stupid. You got it so good, you don’t know up from down and all those orgasms have straight fried your brain. There’s nothing to be concerned about. It is, after all, called mind blowing sex for a reason. Give it time. Let the new-ness of the relationship wear off. After your body and mind have adapted to their worlds consistently being rocked by this guy, then you’ll know if it’s really more than just screwing for you.

Don’t Get Caught

Maybe it is, maybe it’s not. Time will tell. The most important thing to consider here is the workplace aspect. Never ever do it at work. Never talk dirty at work. Never send naughty emails via company email accounts. Channel your inner secret agent and you should be fine.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: adult dating, Dating Tips, Relationship Advice, sex advice

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