Sex Tips & Advice

What To Do When He Lasts TOO Long In Bed

Sex is fun, but does it stop being exciting when your partner lasts forever and can’t reach orgasm quickly? After going at it for awhile, it a woman can become unaroused and lose her lubrication, making it uncomfortable to continue with penetration. Here’s how to deal with someone that lasts too long.

Question: Me and my girlfriend really enjoy each other during sex, but thing is that I last around 30 or 45 minutes. I know that’s great, but sometimes she gets tired. She orgasms great but after a while she gets tired and sometimes I feel that I am pushing her to finish me off. Sometimes I think that after she gets done, she is not enjoying it – even though she insists on finishing me. We have a great time, but should I stop? What can I do?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1jd4HgqvmY[/youtube]

An Orgasm Doesn’t Have To Happen During Intercourse

A lot of people get stuck on the notion that you have to have an orgasm during intercourse for sex to be good. This couldn’t be farther from the truth! While reaching climax during sex with your partner is definitely a great way to enjoy it and bond with your significant other, you can orgasm in other ways and still have just as much fun.

For example, if you always have an orgasm during oral sex but don’t have one during intercourse, have your lover give you a blowjob after sex. This way, she gets hers and afterwards, you get yours too. Even though you didn’t both have an orgasm during penetration, you both still leave sexually satisfied.

Try Using A Good Lubricant

Using a good, water based lube that lasts a long time is essential if you can’t reach orgasm quickly through penetration. There’s no reason to stop if your partner is comfortable, and keeping her moist down there will make sure that she doesn’t start to chafe. You want to reapply lube often – you really can’t overuse the stuff. Adequate lubrication will keep intercourse from becoming uncomfortable or painful, so unless she’s tired, she’ll be happy to keep going so you can get yours too.

Try A Sensitizing Lube

There are all kinds of lube out there, and many of them can help you have a faster, harder and more pleasurable climax. Sensitizing lubes are made with ingredients that stimulate blood flow to the penis (or the vagina in a woman’s case), allowing a person to feel each touch in amazing detail. It’s like HDTV for your penis!

Is Your Foreplay Missing?

It’s hard to switch your brain and body from thinking about work or things on your to-do list to thinking about sex. Some guys don’t have any problem with this because they think about sex most of the time, but other guys may take longer to get into the groove of things. This might be responsible for taking a long time to reach climax. In this case, all that may be needed is a little foreplay to get yourself really ramped up before sex with your partner. If you’re already aroused before you start, it won’t have as far to go to reach orgasm.

Vidoes Or Magazines

Guys are visual, so sometimes getting it on with the lights off just doesn’t do it for them. Take your natural need for visual stimulation during sex into account when you try to figure out the cause of your inability to orgasm quickly. Are you getting it with your partner?

Try turning the lights on during sex so you can see what’s going on – or watch a porn flick or look at an erotic magazine with your lover. Be creative and find ways to stimulate yourself visually during sex. You’ll most likely find that you’re able to have an orgasm more quickly if your eyeballs are involved too.

Bring In The Sex Toys

If a woman has trouble reaching orgasm, she might try using sex toys with her partner to help her have a climax. Why not do the same for a man? There are lots of sex toys for boys out there, from cock rings to masturbation sleeves and more. Remember that you and your lover don’t have to orgasm together during intercourse – be openminded to try different ways of pleasuring each other. For example, have your partner use a lubed up masturbation sleeve on you while you watch a naughty video – even better if she’s filmed one of herself beforehand.

Communicate With Your Partner

If a woman can’t get her man off during sex, she’s probably going to take it personally. Let her know that there’s nothing wrong with what she’s doing and that she doesn’t have to finish you if she’s not up for it. Tell your lover that you can take matters into your own hands if you need to, and you can even make her a part of it by inviting her to watch or participate in mutual masturbation.

Finding The ‘Right Couple’ To Try Swinging With

By michaelandrews

Would you like to experiment with the swinging lifestyle? Once you have made the decision to do it, the biggest hurdle to overcome is to find another suitable couple to play with. Fortunately you can benefit from the experience of others by knowing the best way to find other people. Here are some ideas to help you.

It Doesn’t Always Happen Right Away

Firstly, be aware it can be a lengthy process. You may end up chatting with a large number of couples before you find one you really click with. This is hardly surprising; it is difficult enough to find two people who are attracted to each other, but to find four who all share some chemistry can seem nigh-on impossible.

You will meet couples who may be interested in you but who for whatever reason you don’t feel particularly attracted to. Don’t be concerned about this – it really does go with the territory.

Also, do not despair or be in a rush to start having sex once you decide you and your partner would like to be swingers. Many people decide to play with the first people who come along and find that the experience is not really very pleasurable. In fact it can be a disaster.

Don’t Be Too Picky

At the other extreme don’t be picky to the point that you never let it happen. If you spend a bit of time with a couple (say having a drink or a meal) with no pressure or expectations on either side you may feel the attraction grow. If your initial impression isn’t totally negative than allow some time to get to know them a little better.

All this said, what is the best way to meet another couple for swinging? There are in fact three ways.

People You Know

The first way is to consider people you already know. You may think your friends would not be interested in swinging, but swinging is surprisingly widespread. Do not discount your friends! Think about who you already know who you find attractive.

Invite them for dinner and drop a few subtle hints. Lead the conversation in a sexual direction and see their reaction. Of course if you get a negative reaction you know to back off as you don’t want to destroy your friendship.

Online Dating Websites

The second way and probably the most widespread is to meet couples through an online swingers website. There are a number of good ones which have large numbers of couples (and singles) who are swingers and are looking to meet other likeminded people.

You can get a very good idea about them from the information they post online, including their interests and physical characteristics. Usually they will (or should) put up some photographs so you can get a better idea of their body shape and sizes.

To do this you should also put up your own details by creating a profile. This will allow other couples to contact you if they are interested. The first step will be to have some brief message exchange to see if there is some connection.

If it all looks promising, you should meet as soon as possible. This should only be for the purposes of checking each other out. Unless you are not fussy at all you will find this an essential step as despite all the online conversation in the world you will not know if you all click until you meet each other.

A Swingers’ Party

The third way you can meet other swingers is to go to a swingers party. Getting invited to these can be quite tricky. However, swingers websites often list parties. Choose one in your area and put your name down as being interested. If you go to a swingers party remember the golden rule amongst all swingers is “no means no.”

You will not be pressured into doing anything you don’t want to, and no one will mind if you decline an invitation to play. Swingers parties are a very good way to meet a number of couples all at once to see if you feel a special connection with any of them.

Meeting another couple to swing with can be a bit tricky. However it is worth the effort because when you find the right couple you will definitely have a lot of fun.

How Your Penis Is Ruining Your Sex Life

By loveandsex

Your penis, unfortunately, is not the center of a woman’s attention. In fact, most women aren’t going to be as enamored with your penis as you are. So if you want to be with someone who just looooves wieners, be gay.

If that doesn’t sound like an appealing option for you, then learn to tame your manhood. I know, when you’re in arousing situations, it’s screaming in your ear to get it some attention, but if you don’t allow good sense to overrule, you may end up turning her off. Let me give you a few scenarios where you should tune out Mr. Happy.

Scene I:

She wraps her arms around your neck, giving you a long, sensuous kiss.

What your penis tells you: Grab boobies! Grab booty! Get your hands on whatever you can!

What you should do: Return the kiss. Appreciate what you can get out of that act alone – feel the warmth of her lips and the taste of her breath. Keep your hands occupied by stroking her back or hair. This may encourage her arousal. If it doesn’t, try giving her lips a little lick. Never should you resort to mauling to express your attraction. It feels disrespectful to her, and her defenses immediately go up.

Scene II:

You’re on the couch watching a movie, and you start making out.

What your penis tells you: Put her hand down your pants! Push her face into your lap!

What you should do: If you’re making out for a bit, this time when it’s okay to head for second base. Just don’t grab! Ease your way up there. The nipples tend to be quite sensitive, so if you’re gentle with them it can be a great source of arousal for her. Then maybe you can pause the movie and politely suggest retiring to the bedroom for a bit.

Scene III:

The clothes are off, and sex is definitely going to happen.

What your penis tells you: Stick it in! Stick it in! Stick it in NOW!

What you should do: Take deep breaths. Concentrating on your breath will help occupy your mind, and the steady oxygen to your brain will have a calming effect. Once you’ve cleared the testosterone cloud, you can really enjoy the sex. Inhale her scent, and feel her skin. Become cognizant of the woman with you. It will only increase the pleasure of the experience. In the end, your penis will thank you.

How To Get Her To Make A Dirty Video For You

By loveandsex

Porn is great but homemade porn is better. However, it can be difficult to get your girlfriend or wife to agree to get naked on camera. It’s not impossible though – tons of women make XXX films for their guys – Want your girl to make a naughty film for your viewing pleasure? Check out these tips to convince your girl to do it.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QG9g8owDvgQ[/youtube]

Women Naturally Want To Make Their Man Happy

All women have the drive to please their man – it’s hardwired into their DNA. Instead of baking pies a la June Cleaver, you’d rather a racy movie starring your gorgeous lady. How do you tell her? Just tell her! Let her know that making a homemade porn with her (or videotaping her masturbating by herself) is something that you’d really like to do and it really turns you on. If she knows how much you want to see her on film, she’ll most likely be up for it if it will make you that happy.

It Doesn’t Have To Be Full On Porn

If your girlfriend or wife has never done anything sexy on camera before, they may feel a little shy or apprehensive about the whole idea. Don’t assume that for it to turn you on that it has to be full on porn – quite the opposite. Even just a soft core film with limited nudity, or even no nudity at all, can be enough to get you going. It’s also a great way to slowly introduce her to the idea so that later on, you can make a XXX film.

Have her do something sexy on film with her clothes on, such as giving you a blowjob in a low cut shirt. It’s sexy, reminds you of her and she doesn’t have to show anything of hers to the camera. She can also do an erotic dance while wearing a sexy dress or some of her favorite lingerie. Light some candles and turn out the lights – the soft lighting will make her feel more comfortable and won’t transfer as many of her imperfections onto film.

Tell Her You’d Rather Masturbate To Her

Guys are going to masturbate – it’s a fact of life and most women know and accept this. They also know that men are visual creatures and need something sexy in front of their eyeballs to get off. This is the part that girls hate – they don’t want their partner watching and masturbating to other naked women. Your woman may not say anything about it, but it’s pretty much guaranteed that porn featuring other girls grates on her nerves.

Use this to your advantage and tell your partner that you’d much rather be watching her than some naked chick you’ve never met and don’t care about at all. This single phrase will probably be the most convincing thing you can do to get her to make a dirty video for you. She’ll appreciate that you’d rather be watching HER while you touch your penis than another girl and will do her best to make that happen.

Give Her Some Ideas

You don’t want to insist that your girlfriend make a video of her vagina up close and personal to start off with. It will probably freak her out and turn her off to the idea of making an adult movie for you all together. Instead. start small and work your way up. Give her some ideas of sexy things she can do on camera that will turn you on, that don’t involve her doing things featured in Hustler.

You can also get some ideas by watching soft core porn together. When you watch it with her, point out things that you think are hot and that you’d love to see her doing. Something along the lines of “She just doesn’t do that right, I bet you could do it better” or “I’d love to see you try that.”

Don’t be afraid to play around with the camera a little and have fun with it. Turn it on and forget about it, doing things that you normally do together. Take a short video, watch it together and then delete it immediately. Get her comfortable with the idea of having the video camera around.

Help Her Feel Sexy

She may agree to try videotaping herself doing sexy things for you, but you’re not going to get very far if you don’t make her FEEL sexy while doing it. Here are some easy ways to make her feel super hot, which will help her open up and let her inner vixen out.

Buy her sexy lingerie. Shop online together or visit a store with her in tow. Make SURE you choose something together and that she’s tried on. Don’t bring home something that doesn’t fit her – especially if it’s too small.
Candles or dimmer switches are amazing at hiding skin imperfections. Meaning that if you use soft lighting, she’ll feel like she looks better and you will both actually look a lot better on film.
Give her encouragement when she does something. If she’s dancing or moving around in some way, tell her how hot it is when she does. Get vocal – if you just sit there quietly, she’ll think she’s doing something wrong.

Assure Her That You’re Trustworthy

She might be afraid that if she makes a sexy video for you of herself, that she’ll be the next YouTube or Facebook star the moment you guys break up. This is a legitimate fear – one that you have to ease before she’ll ever step in front of the camera. If you’re with a new girl, don’t expect that she’s going to make a movie for you right away.

Take some time to build a trusting relationship with your partner so she knows you’re not going to sell out on her. Reassure her that this video is for your personal pleasure only and that if you break up with her, you will respect her enough to delete it immediately in front of her. Also, promise not to make any copies – and don’t.

Also, you can offer to make her a video in exchange for one of her if she’s still apprehensive that you might distribute the video in some way or show it to your friends. This way, she feels like she has a little leverage, or an “insurance policy” so to speak. However, this means you both have to trust each other with this kind of thing. If you don’t feel like your relationship is ready for this level of trust, put the homemade porn idea to bed until your relationship progresses.

How To Get Your Partner Interested In Swinging

By michaelandrews

Swinging can be a great activity for a couple to take part in. Done the right way, it need not be damaging to your relationship at all. In fact, the consensus amongst most ‘successful’ swingers is that it actually enhances their relationship and brings them closer together.

What If Your Lover Doesn’t Like The Idea?

However, while there are thousands of happy swinging couples worldwide, there are also many people in a relationship who would like to try swinging but who have a lover who is not keen. Their attitude may be from simply not being interested to being totally negative about the idea.

If you have a wife or husband in this category, don’t despair. Your dream of being swingers need not die. Just realize that the approach you have been taking so far has not worked – so it’s time to take a new approach.

Don’t Get Angry With Your Lover

The first thing you must do is not get angry or upset with your wife or husband’s reaction if you bring up the idea of being swingers. Trying to plead with them or in any way coerce them into trying it will not only get no positive result, it could even harm your relationship.

Even if you do get them to agree to try it this way, it will probably not be a pleasant experience for you both; you certainly won’t be able to relax and enjoy it. Try not to get resentful. Instead, realize that you want to try swinger sex so that it will be fun for both of you. ‘

If you have the best of intentions than it is simply a matter of finding the right approach, the approach that works without damaging your relationship. After all your relationship is (or should be) the most important thing.

Introducing The Topic In The Right Way

When you introduce the idea of swinging, remember that your wife or husband will have beliefs about what swinging means and why you would want to try it. Does it mean you don’t find them attractive enough?Are you bored with your sex life?

These thoughts may be going through their head. In fact, they may even fear that by becoming swingers you will find someone else more attractive than them and leave them!

Removing Their Fears About It

So your whole focus in introducing swinging to your wife or husband is to remove their fears. You do this by letting them know that you love and adore them more than anyone else, and that your reason for wanting to try swinging is to enhance the sex life you already have with them.

You need to let them know that swinging is not about replacing any gaps in your relationship. It is all about adding some spice and sharing the experience together. You could even let them know that because you find them so attractive and sexy, seeing them turning someone else on would be highly arousing for them.

Also make sure that you make your wife or husband feel safe in your sexual relationship. Build up their trust in you. Let them now that you would never hurt them or allow them to be hurt in a swinging situation.

If you approach the idea of swinging with your lover in this way you not only have a much greater chance of taking part in the swinger lifestyle, but of you both enjoying it as well.