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How To Become More Sexually Confident

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Everyone has insecurities, worries and apprehensions about sex. The first step to reducing your insecurities is realizing that you’re absolutely normal, you’re not alone and no one is 100% smooth and confident when it comes to sex. But does that mean you have to bumble your way around the bedroom? Of course not! You can start reducing your sexual insecurities now and stop being a sexual dud – it’s time to learn how to become a master of sexual pleasure and become confident about your skills in the sack!

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Accepting Your Insecurities

Everyone has insecurities about sex, even if they seem confident. People might be worried about the way they look naked or how they compare to their partner’s other lovers. They might be unsure that they will last long in bed or that their sexual skills will be up to snuff. Insecurities and worries plague everyone, so if you’re not totally and completely confident when it comes to sex, you’re certainly not alone. This goes for men and women who have had multiple sex partners or have never had sex before at all. Start accepting your sexual insecurities as being a perfectly natural part of being human. Once you do, you’ll start move past them. If you stay focused on your worries, you’ll never be able to be sexually confident!

Learn Sexual Skills

Sexual skills don’t come naturally to everyone – if anyone! How to please someone sexually is something that must be learned rather than something that just happens. If you haven’t taken the time to research and learn different ways to please someone in bed, it’s time to start! Whether you’ve never had sex before or have had multiple sex partners, there are always things you can learn about oral sex, anal sex, sex positions and how to blow your partner’s mind. There are tons of great resources on how to give a woman an orgasm, find the g-spot or send a man through the roof by giving him an amazing blowjob. As you learn more and more ways to pleasure your partner, you’ll become increasingly more confident in your ability to give someone an orgasm. The more skills you master, the more confident you’ll be in the bedroom!

Practice Makes Perfect

Sure, reading a book on how to give a blowjob or how to go down on her is great, but you’re never going to get really good at it unless you’re able to put the techniques you’re learning into practice. If you want to get good at anything – whether it’s baseball or sex – you have to practice what you learn regularly. If you’re expecting to become absolutely great at sex overnight, it’s not going to happen – it takes time. Of course, sex practice is a lot more fun than sports practice! To become a real sex master, have sex as much as you can and put your skills to the test again and again. Your partner will really enjoy having sex more often, as well as being the subject of your practice! Both you and your partner will notice your improvement the more that you have sex, and you and your partner can even have fun learning how to pleasure each other together!

Threesomes And Swinging – How To Begin

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So, you’ve talked the talk, eh? Last time I wrote about starting the discussion about threesomes or swinging, or just a general open relationship discussion with your partner. So let’s assume for the sake of this discussion that you’ve had the talk and gotten the elusive GREEN LIGHT, what now, where do we go from here? Is there a button we can press, maybe on our headboard, that’ll just deposit a swinger couple or unicorn (single female) in our bed?

Let’s all just take a moment and think of how nice instant swinger delivery would be. Now that we’re back from the land of make believe, we’ll get down to brass tacks. Moving from the fantasy of bringing another person our people into your bed to the actual doing it can be a difficult transition, but you’ve made it past the first great hurdle, so there’s a good chance that playing the rest of this game well will be a ticket to open-relationship for you. The next steps beyond talking about it are communication, deciding what you want, finding the special people, diving in.

Communication is Key

No, I didn’t just cut and paste a paragraph from my last article. If you thought that you’ve had your communication and can now settle into your new life of leisure as a swinger, you’re sorely mistaken. In any relationship, be it business, romantic, or sexual, communication is the lubrication that keeps it going. And you all know how much we swingers like lubrication! When most people decide to open up their relationship, it’s tempting to believe that jealousy is the only emotion to look out for, because it’s the cornerstone of any open relationship problems, right? Well, yes, jealousy has a lot to do with the vast majority of the lifestyle problems, but I’d caution you that sometimes jealousy comes disguised as other things.

Sometimes you’ll be scooting along down the non-monogamy super-highway and suddenly you’ll get this odd feeling. Maybe you don’t quite know what it is, a twinge of what could feel like jealousy, or guilt, or envy, or even outright shock. And these little twinges often don’t even add up to full on feelings. The reason for this is that we KNOW which feeling buttons to press in a monogamous relationship when your partner kisses, fondles and sucks someone else. It’s ingrained into our subconscious. How so? We’ve seen it EVERYWHERE, in movies, magazines, novels, television, news reports. When you see how Tiger’s wife reacted to his cheating, you say “Aha, that’s how one reacts!”

So this opening up to new experiences may trigger wholly unidentifiable new versions of emotions. We truly are off the edge of the map here, and navigating this trip is a bit more sketchy and unfounded. So why all this talk about micromotions, and things we don’t understand. Because it’s VERY IMPORTANT that you not dismiss these feelings. As you experience opening your relationship up, make sure you talk about all these little emotional fluctuations. It’ll keep you sane, likely confirm that your partner is feeling them as well, and will let you identify and process the emotions before they can turn into festering cancers that become capital J Jealousy.

Communicate today, communicate tomorrow, communicate forever. Excessively. Be annoying about it at the beginning, so you can make it over the first great hump into swinging and non-monogamy, altering your world view.

Threesomes, Foursomes, & Moresomes

So, if you haven’t been scared off by my excessive insistence on excessive communication that I talked about excessively up there, well then you’re ready to have some non-monogamous fun. You’ll probably even have some idea of the KIND of non-monogamous fun you’re looking for, but it’s worth addressing. There are a lot of people who find the word swingers rather scary, to them it conjures men with gold medallions nestled in curly chest hair, the wife swappers and key partiers from the seventies. Don’t worry, though, even if you have sex with other couples, you don’t have to call yourselves swingers. I won’t make you. And you won’t be branded with a large red S on your chest. Which I suppose would be more Superman than Hester Prynn, but I digress.

So, really it’s a numbers game, are you looking to invite one other person into your bedroom, or two. (Though, I suppose you could just take a deep breath and go the full orgy, but that’s really an advanced level game I’d recommend you play AFTER your first, um, fivesome at least.) If it’s a threesome you’re after, which kind? Do you want to invite another man or another woman to come play with you? Often this decision is determined by the sexuality flexibility of one of the two partners. If the female is bi curious, then it makes a good deal of sense to bring in another female, if the male is bi curious, then another male. (Of course you could both be straight and still have a slammin’ time with another male or another female – see how lovely and flexible non-monogamy can be?)

When you decide to make it a swinging (there’s that word again…I’m taking it back) sort of evening and bring another couple in, well there’s a whole HOST of decisions and discussions that have to be made that are a bit outside the scope of this article. Suffice to say, with another couple, you’re looking at a four way connection, which can be a bit harder to obtain.

We Want YOU!

Once you’ve decided WHAT you want, it’s time to start thinking about WHO you want. Because non-monogamy isn’t something you can just start doing immediately; presumably you are two people sitting there reading this, so even as kinky as you get with each other right now, you’re still being monogamous. It’s time to invite new people into your relationship.

One of the easiest ways to bring someone else into your relationship is by using one of the lifestyle/swinger/open relationship websites. I know, I know, you’re saying you just want to have a little fun and see what happens, signing up for an online dating site, why that would make you swingers. Sure, it lacks the spontaneity of a drunken evening with your single friend that manages to turn into a night of debauchery and hedonism that would make Caligula blush, but this is a way to find people who are familiar with the ropes, and it’s always good to have someone who’s been through what you’re going through.

Other alternatives involve the extremely difficult Vanilla Pick-Up. This move is achieved by going to a bar and bringing home one or two vanilla sex people (ie, non lifestyle). If picking up people at the bar was difficult for you in single life, multiply that by a very large number, because that’s how hard the Vanilla Pick-Up is. That said, it’s not impossible, but you ought to brace yourself for the potential for jealousy and the D word (Drama. Swingers try so hard to avoid it that we don’t even like saying it).

The upside is, with a Vanilla Pick-Up, it’s much easier to have this person out of your lives if you need that to happen. Unlike, say, the Friend Play. Here’s where you set your sights on a friend or friends and drop hints that you might want to get with them. And sometimes hints don’t work, because they’re not in that headspace.

I have found, rather unsurprisingly, that honesty is the best policy here. The statement: “My wife and I think you’re interesting and would be interested in having some fun with you sometime. We don’t want to pressure you in any way, but wanted to put that out there in case you might be interested” has actually netted Marilyn and I some fun times in the past. Be prepared for “What!? No way!” and the slamming of doors. Just in case.

Can’t Get Wetter Than Wet

At a certain point, the prep work will be done. Your communication is firing on all cylinders, you’ve got your scopes set on someone who returns the interest, you’re confident that you know what you’re looking for from this encounter and all involved share the same expectations.

So, now you ought to do it.

Seems like a no brainer, doesn’t it? But it’s tempting to hemm and haw a bit once the reality of this threesome or foursome settles in. To say “I’m not really feeling great this weekend, maybe next weekend.” Or find other ways of postponing or changing or delaying jumping in. While those opposed to non-monogamy would call this your conscious trying to keep you from doing something terrible, I’d remind you what Pinnochio did to that annoying cricket in Collodi’s original novel – he smashed the bastard with a hammer.

Communication again becomes key here, sit down with your partner, one on one, and decide that nothing that happens in this first experimentation will change your relationship. That nothing will be held against the other person, that this will not destroy you, and any concerns you have will be talked about at length, EVEN if you have to stop your playtime to have the discussion. (Something you should not be afraid to do.)

I urge to take a deep breath, close your eyes, and jump in. Because just like everything else in life, if you don’t like it, you don’t have to do it again, but you’ll really never know until you try. And some of life’s best moments are the ones you’re nervous about.

So, with the stars aligned, you can begin your adventure and experimentation with non-monogamy. You may find it’s not for you, and if this is the case, you can chalk it up to something you tried and didn’t like. But it’s also possible you’ll find that non-monogamy opens up a whole new world for you and your partner, and a world that most swingers would argue has brought them closer than they ever thought possible.

Increase Your Sex Drive – Viagra Alternatives For Women

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You may or may not know this, but for women, sex is 50% physical and 50% mental. If we don’t feel balanced and healthy in both of those areas — the desire for sex just falls to the wayside. If we’re tired, stressed, or overwhelmed, we know that having sex will help us feel better, but often times, we just can’t get past the other “stuff” to want it much less enjoy it. This is where natural herbal supplements can help. They can help balance our hormones levels so that we feel more balanced, energized, and sexy. Here’s how women can increase their sex drive naturally – without harmful side effects.

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Sex For Women Starts On The Inside

It’s easy for day to day stresses to really take a toll on a woman’s psyche. After a long day at work, she’s probably not going to feel very sexy. Of course not! She’s tired – well, exhausted really – and her mind is going over a thousand things at once. She may be rushed and not eating balanced meals, which is going to make her body feel even more tired and worn down, and she may not have had time to get her hair and nails done or even get her eyebrows waxed. The point is, women can often feel very run down because of simple daily stresses and when this happens, they don’t feel very sexy at all. For a woman to feel really sexy, her body needs to be in balance. She needs to get the vitamins and nutrients she needs, as well as enough rest and enough time for personal hygiene.

How Natural Supplements Can Help

Natural supplements for female libido can actually make a huge difference in a woman’s life. Natural supplements don’t have the same side effects as pharmaceutical libido enhancers (such as Viagra or Levitra), and often include lots of things that woman needs in her body on a daily basis anyways. Many natural libido supplements contain vitamins and minerals that will help a woman’s body function properly, as well as containing all natural herbal ingredients that will help balance hormone levels and make a woman feel, well, like a woman again.

Feeling Better, Naturally

If a woman’s body is balanced, she is better equipped to handle the daily stresses that would normally get her down. She’ll feel less tired after work (even though nothing has changed at the office) and she’ll feel better about herself in general. She’ll naturally feel more sexy and womanly, which translates directly into more sex for both her and her partner. Instead of focusing on treating the symptoms of a decreased sex drive like pharmaceutical remedies do, herbal libido enhancers to increase sex drive focuses on the real root of the problem.

When a woman’s body and emotions are out of whack, everything is out of whack and there’s really no way that she can fully let herself go to have great sex. Herbal supplements for female libido might not only increase her sex drive naturally, but also help her to feel better about herself all around because her body is more balanced and it’s working properly. Her mind, emotions and sexual needs are all on the same level and she will feel better in almost all respects, including but of course not limited to – sex!

Female Orgasm Tips – 5 Powerful Ways to Make Sure She Gets Thigh-Quivering Orgasms (Every Time!)

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Did you know that direct penetration during sex is the least effective way to bring a woman to an orgasm? That is true. Men and women are wired differently when it comes to sex. It is far easier to stimulate a man to an orgasm than a woman. Yet when a woman climaxes, she usually does so with greater intensity than guys.

It is not easy to bring a woman to an orgasm through intercourse alone. In fact more women are known to achieve a climax through self-stimulation than through sex! So what are the tricks to make sure she gets one when you make love to her? Keep reading – these tips would keep her orgasmic furnace burning hot…

Tip #1 – “Emotions In Tandem”

Men and women are different because men can achieve an orgasm in almost any situation. It is easier for a woman to achieve an orgasm if she develops an emotional attachment or trust for the man she is with. Having said that, it is important to ensure your woman is comfortable and satisfied. A quick session for you will only leave her in the ‘rut’, totally unfulfilled!

You may think that you know your woman inside out; if she is having a real orgasm; if she is totally aroused. But in reality, it is not that simple. The first secret to a woman’s orgasm is to make love to her passionately and not treat her as a sex object waiting to fulfill your sexual lust.

Female orgasms should be treated in a delicate manner and you should work towards it. The secret in triggering an orgasm in any woman lies in building up an erotic anticipation to the point that she craves for you to bring her around in a hurry.

Tip #2 – “Kiss To Tease”

The very act of kissing alone can bring a woman to an orgasm if done correctly. Therefore, this should give you a good idea how pleasurable the simple act of passionate kissing can be to a woman. So before you proceed to lovemaking, indulge in some passionate kissing. Take your time to kiss her slowly and passionately. Kissing can activate her senses and set her on fire. Tease her; fill her to the brim with the desire of wanting you.

Tip #3 – Clitoral Stimulation: The Right & Wrong Ways To Do It

A woman’s clitoris is a key instrument to bring her to an orgasm. Thus the way you stimulate this super erogenous zone is really vital. You see, when a woman is not properly aroused, touching or stimulating the clitoris may feel uncomfortable for her. The trick is to give her stimulation indirectly at first. Try running your fingers on each side of her clitoris shaft and caress her clitoral hood with your thumb. When she becomes aroused, you will feel her breathing heavily and the clitoral hood swelling up. This is when you know she is ready for more.

Tip #4 – The Rhythm Of Sex

Many men are mistaken that women are equally attuned to the speed and rhythm of a man’s touch. This is a fallacy. How you touch and caress her can vary in speed but the rhythm should not alter. Starting sex slowly is a great way to get her all warmed up to the act. As the sex progresses, women prefer the speed (including that of thrusting) to increase, culminating to a boil as an orgasm approaches. But make sure the overall rhythm or tempo remains the same.

Tip #5 – The Tantalizing Grind

Many men simply engage in straight thrusting motions during sex and wonder why their partners never get an orgasm. No matter how hard or how deep you penetrate her, you are unlikely to stimulate her enough to climax. The right way to perform penetration is this: instead of thrusting straight in, perform a grinding movement, using your hips to mimic a rotational motion. This works great for her because your pubic mound will rub against her clitoris as your penis stimulates her g-spot and sufficiently stimulate her to an intense orgasm.

Stop thinking about how well you will perform in bed for her! Focus on how she feels once you get started on her. Once you begin to realize that she feels great when you do sexual things for her, you will find your self confidence soaring and that you will actually achieve what most men fail to achieve in bed – bringing a woman to a spine-tingling series of orgasms!

Do Tongue Piercings Improve Oral Sex?

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You’ve probably heard that tongue piercings make make oral sex better, but is it true? How much of a difference does a tongue piercing really make when it comes to giving a blowjob or going down on a girl? Here’s the downlow on oral sex and tongue piercings and whether you should get one to please your partner.

Tongue Piercings And A Blowjob

Depending on the style of tongue ring worn, a tongue ring can definitely improve the sensations a guy feels during a blowjob. One of the most sensitive parts of a man’s penis is on the underneath, just below the head where the head meets the rest of the penis. The position of a tongue ring, even just one with a small ball on the top of the barbell is perfect for titillating this most sensitive spot and can really drive a man wild. Of course, the tongue ring will also stimulate other parts of the penis as well, and can provide tons of new sensations than just the tongue alone can. Other styles of tongue rings can be worn to create different sensations, such as “doorknocker” style tongue rings. These consist of a ring attached to the top ball of the tongue ring and the ring can move freely in a variety of ways. However, with the right skill set, a woman with or without a tongue ring can blow her partner’s mind during a blowjob!

Tongue Piercings And Cunnilingus

Tongue rings also have the potential to improve cunnilingus when a guy has his tongue pierced. During oral sex, the tongue ring will move around with the tongue, stimulating different parts of the vulva such as the clitoris while the tip of the tongue is stimulating an entirely different place. A man can use a tongue ring to drive his partner wild and give her incredible orgasms, even if he’s not schooled on how best to give a woman an orgasm through cunnilingus. There are many styles of tongue rings that are great for going down on a girl, however, the most interesting and titillating is the vibrating tongue ring. There are many tongue rings available that have a small vibrator attached to the top ball of the tongue ring and will vibrate as you lick your partner’s clitoris! Many women have trouble reaching orgasm through oral sex alone, however, a vibrating tongue ring can definitely put an end to that!

Should You Get A Tongue Piercing?

While there are many benefits that a tongue ring can bring to the bedroom, there are also risks involved as with any body modification, such as with genital piercings. Tongue piercings can get infected and cause major problems, and can also chip the backside of your teeth and reduce your gum line. Fortunately, piercings are removable and non-permanent so getting a piercing for your partner isn’t quite the committment getting their name tattooed on you would be. However, make sure you’re willing to go through the pain, swelling and healing period that comes with a tongue piercing and that you’re willing to take proper care of your piercing and keep it clean and infection free. Find a reputable, sterile piercing studio that has experience with tongue piercings and never, ever try to pierce your tongue yourself.