Sex Tips & Advice

50 Shades Of Grey – The TRUTH About “Girl” Porn

50 Shades Of Grey is one of the best selling books of all time – and you’ve likely heard about the darker sexual plot. Is erotica about to become mainstream?

Scores of women, all over the world are obsessed with 50 Shades Of Grey – an S&M related erotic thriller. It’s given birth to an entirely new genre of literature: “girl porn.” But what does that mean, exactly? What does it mean to women? To men? More importantly, what does it mean to you?

Sorry, It’s Not “New”

The whole “girl porn” thing isn’t new. Books like “My secret garden” have told stories of female centered erotica for years, and the concept is as old as time itself. It’s just becoming more and more prevalent and mainstream. Why? Part of it is feminism, partly due to relaxing social attitudes towards sex and sexuality, but mostly it’s due to one thing: technology. It used to be if you were a woman and you wanted to get your girl porn on, you had to buy a book, and carry that book around wherever you wanted to go and read it.

Everyone likes a little naughty reading time, but nobody wants to really be outed as doing it. Enter smartphones. And tablets. Amazon and Apple sell the tablets simply to drive purchases of digital content through the mediums they rule with an iron fist. conspiracy theories aside, this allows you to buy as much girl porn as you can stand, read it wherever you like and no one will no about it.

You might be asking yourself “Tony, are you saying that woman on the subway who looked way too happy to be there was getting her girl porn on? Am I really to believe that she was reading 50 Shades Of Grey?” Yes grasshopper. She was and you should. The explosion that is 50 Shades of Grey is directly related to the explosion of iPads, Kindle Fires, iPhones, Android phones, android tablets, and the like.

Girls Like It Dirty!

Here’s another truth: women are dirty. They talk dirty and they want dirty things. Chris Rock has this joke: “your woman is nastier and dirtier and more sexual than you ever imagined. She’s dying to do it. But anything you mutter ain’t getting done.” Women have always been this sexual. They’ve always been into porn. They are just into a different kind of porn than men are. Don’t believe that women are pervs too? Two words: Magic Mike. Women losing their minds over have naked shirtless men who are ripped and in great shape. They eat that up. Literally.

Women have always been massively sensual creatures, but they’ve been bread to repress that. Times are changing. That repression is being peeled away layer by layer. Thanks to technology and the internet, women in particular have access to any kind of sex and relationship type they could possibly want, and access to any kind of girl porn they want. They know it’s out there, and that helps them know that it’s okay, whatever that it is.

The Domination Factor

50 Shades Of Grey also reveals and increasing desire for women to be submissive and dominated. Often the women who exhibit the strongest desire to be dominated in the bedroom are the ones who are most dominant outside of it. It may seem a bit screwy, but it’s not. It actually makes quite a bit of sense when you think about it.

There is so much pressure on women today, most of it put on women by themselves and other women. They are obligated to “have it all” whatever that means. They are earning more than ever, having more responsibilities than ever. There’s an ever increasing number of roles women are having to play and as they take many of the leadership and powerful roles that men have traditionally played, they begin to feel the same pressures.

With all the hats women wear today, it’s no wonder that they want to throw them all off (in addition to their clothes). Being submissive allows you to surrender control and not have to worry about anything. You can use it as an excuse to give into any number of secret sex related desires you’ve long held (orgies, swinging, anal sex, lesbianism, bondage, etc), and in your mind you’re totally in the clear because you were “forced” to do it, but really, that isn’t true at all.

You were simply creating a scenario where you could finally allow yourself to have the kind of pleasure you’ve long desired, but do it in a way that’s safe for your mind and body. And for a woman, that’s an incredibly appealing proposition. That’s what these girl porn books offer.

Things Never To Do In The Bedroom

By dicksinthecity

Sex tips aren’t always about what to do during sex, but also what NOT to do. Here’s what you need to steer clear of, or else!

Everyone talks so much about what to do in the bedroom, but what about what not to do? What are the deal breakers you need to know about?

What She Said:

When it comes to sex, anything goes and every person brings their own fetishes, fantasies and turn-ons into the bedroom (or closet, back seat of car, laundry room, couch etc.) If two consenting adults are ready and willing there is nothing that should ever be considered taboo.

The only thing that should never ever be done is faked enjoyment, desire or passion This goes for men and women. You can tell when your partner is faking it and not just an orgasm but faking the desire. Maybe he/she gets a little too into the sex, like over the top moans or facial expressions.

You can clearly tell they are trying too hard and that is a huge turn off! When you feel or see your partner check out or see that they are not even showing signs of excitement, its hard to have fun yourself. There is nothing wrong with not being in the mood and you can fake-it-till-you-make-it, but sometimes if you know for sure you are not going to get pleasure,how can you completely give it?

What He Said:

You should never surprise anyone in the bedroom. You can’t just think “Hmm….I bet she’d really like me to have anal sex with her right now” and then haul off and do it. Not only do you need lots of lube, that’s just not something you can try and find out the hard way if your partner is into that.

You shouldn’t be discussing much in the bedroom, either. Now is not the time to have long, drawn out in depth conversations about what you’re into or not into. Actually, you shouldn’t be talking about much of anything. The conversation should consist of things like “yes! Yes! Yes!” or “harder/faster” or “do this or that.” And of course dirty talk is always okay.

But you shouldn’t be talking about much else, because if you are, then you’re thinking, and if you’re thinking, you’re not feeling. The more in your head you are, the less in your body you are and that means less getting naughty.

Don’t do anything you see in porn either. Yes, I know, it looks hot. Sometimes it is hot. But they are highly trained professionals in peak physical condition and it’s still a lot for them to pull some of that stuff off. You are not a trained professional. Don’t try and be one.

And don’t for the sake of all that is good and holy, ever tape yourself having sex. I don’t care how hot you are. If I have learned nothing else from my friend in the porn industry, I have learned this: leave the fucking on film to the professionals. Even if you’re a professional model having sex with one or more other professional models, you won’t look anywhere near as good as they do screwing on film.

Why? They know their best angles. They have the right lighting that makes their bodies look amazing. They have Photoshop to take out any blemish, stretch mark, or anything else they don’t want you to see. They also know all the best angles and they will only show you those. They cut out the stuff that isn’t hot, or that makes them look like mere mortals copulating on film. They have an entire production team surrounding them to make them look amazing at all times.

You have none of this. You will not look as good as they do doing it, and you’ll probably beat yourself up about it. Not to mention that they have a job that consists of them having oral sex, intercourse and a host of other sex acts on tape for the world to see. You work in accounting and your wife is a middle school teacher. If that ever gets out, and there’s always a chance that it will, will you be able to keep your job or spot on the city council? No, not so much. If you’re into swinging, cool. If you’re sex prowess is legendary, great! But don’t ever, ever, put it on film.

And for God’s sake make sure your smart phones are in the other room. If you take naughty photos on your phone and your phone gets stolen, the first thing that’s going to happen is that who ever steals it is going to post your nude photos up on your facebook account (which, conveniently is already installed on your phone if you’re like most. And your phone always has internet access so hackers can get your photos off your phone even if you don’t lose it.

What To Do When Sex Hurts

By loveandsex

Sex tips aren’t always about how to do it better. If sex hurts, you need some suggestions on how to fix the issue. Find out now how to relieve sex pain!

For the woman that finds sex painful, it can be rare to find a position or angle that will help her orgasm with any kind of ease. If she has had this issue for any length of time, she has already associated intercourse with pain in her mind, so overcoming this can be incredibly difficult. There are a handful of reasons why a woman might find sex painful or uncomfortable, but only a doctor can decide what the underlying symptoms might be.

First Timers

Although it’s nothing more than a myth that sex always hurts the first time, for some women, especially if she has never used a sex toy or tampon, it can be very overwhelming. She may have a particularly firm hymen, or she may not be adequately aroused and lubricated to ensure safe penis passage.

Some women also clench up during their first few sexual encounters because they aren’t body-aware and are nervous, or anticipating some form of pain. Go slowly, but if you cannot enter her one finger without serious discomfort, it’s time to visit her doctor.

A Funny Feeling

For many women, sex is more than just a penis entering her vagina. It is a full-body experience, and one that she takes very seriously. If she’s not feeling into it, if you’ve recently had a fight or are otherwise emotionally disconnected from one another, it could be incredibly difficult to make sex work at all, let alone getting her to let go and release.

Take some time to woo your lover again with bubble baths, massages, lots of kissing and foreplay, and try out one of the more intimate, face-to-face positions in this eBook as a starting point. Once she’s feeling comfortable with you, this too shall pass.

Lack Of Lubrication

A woman who has just given birth, or one who is over the age of 40 will likely need a bottle of lubricant nearby during most sexual encounters, but there are a lot of other factors that could inhibit a woman’s ability to get moist. Make sure she’s really excited, because for most women that is the only reason that keeps her from getting slippery.

If you are both sure she’s adequately aroused, grab some water-based lube for all-round, long lasting use. Warm it up with your hands first so it doesn’t surprise her, then lovingly massage her labia and vaginal opening with a little drop before entering her.

Have Patience

Yes, some women can orgasm quickly during intercourse, but this kind of quick release is a learned skill that she has to perfect over an extended period of time. For most women, getting to orgasm will take at least twenty minutes, but could be even closer to the forty minute mark with foreplay and fingering, especially if she hasn’t reached climax during sex before, or is still learning to make it there consistently.

Take your time when seducing your partner and really enjoy the experience for as long as you can. You don’t need to clock-watch – just chill out and take your time. Rushing her will only increase her anxiety about reaching the mark, and you’ll be defeated before you’ve even begun.

Allergies Or Medications

The special spots between a woman’s legs are highly sensitive, and for some women, prone to rashes or irritation. If she is complaining before sex that she’s not feeling 100% ‘down there,’ take the time to investigate and ask questions. Has she used any new products lately, such as a douche or laundry soap? Have you changed brands of condoms or lube? Did she get sunburned, has her personal sexual activity changed?

Have you been playing with food or other strange insertions? Any of these things can impair her comfort and ability to climax. If after a week or so of waiting for things to heal or clear up after changing products or habits, a trip to her doctor is the next step.

Irregularity

No, I don’t mean her behaviour in this case, but rather how things are flowing ‘down there.’ When her body is backed up or her cycle is strange, she may struggle with feeling sexy, or worry that she’ll have to run to the bathroom in the middle of a session. She might not have the body-comfort necessary to share this kind of information with you, so you may just need to wait a day or two if you think this could be an issue, and see if it works itself out.

A Jaded Past

When a woman has been sexually abused or treated poorly in any past sexual relationship, it will affect your relationship with her, no questions asked. If she is willing to talk about it with you, listen carefully to determine what bothers her most. You need to determine her triggers and avoid situations that might remind her of the past. If past abuse holds her up sexually, suggest the two of you go to professional help together so that she can move passed her past, and you can learn how to please her in new and exciting ways.

When To Call The Doctor

There are a few instances where a medical problem comes in between you and your partner’s personal enjoyment. For women who find sex extremely painful during penetration, it might be necessary to visit a doctor and rule out Vaginismus. It is a relatively rare condition, but there are options for treatment. Take a trip with her to her gynaecologist, or even her G.P. If you would like to learn more about Vaginismus, show an interest and participate in the process, so you can find out what you can do to help her scream in ecstasy instead of pain.

How To Delay Ejaculation – Naturally!

By lloydlester

Premature ejaculation will ruin your sex life completely if you don’t get control over it. Learn how to wait as long as possible before ejaculation now!

Are you sick and tired of not lasting long enough during sex? Is delaying ejaculation becoming an arduous thing to do, one that causes you great embarrassment in front of your lover? There are many forms of sexual dysfunction that occur among men, and nothing is more debilitating than premature ejaculation. Yet the good news is also that premature ejaculation is the easiest to treat among all male sexual problems.

Indeed, you can completely cure PE using natural, practical methods without making embarrassing trips to the doctor. These are the key techniques and strategies:

1. Understand Your Ejaculatory Process And Sexual Responses

Without a proper understanding of how your body responds to sexual stimulation, you will never be able to control how soon you ejaculate during sex. Arousal control is key to keep PE in check. And before you can control your arousal, you have to understand how it works. In a nutshell, your body goes through 4 key stages of response during sex. The first stage involves “excitement” when your penis starts to fill with blood and becomes erect.

The second stage occurs when your penis is fully erect and you feel relaxed and under control. Stage 3 is when intense sensations begin to envelop your penis and you are about to “pop.” This leads into the final stage where ejaculation takes place. The arousal and erection fade away soon after.

2. Develop Mental Control

Much of a man’s inability to hold ejaculation stems from psychological or confidence-related issues. The very thoughts that run though your mind during sex will affect your sexual endurance. Some guys allow the sensations of intercourse to rule over their head and that is a quick and surefire way to blow early.

You must learn how to control your arousal right from the beginning. This can be achieved by focusing NOT on intercourse but on the entire sexual experience. This is a huge difference. To develop mental or arousal control, you need to focus on the ALL the sensations you experience and GIVE during sex, and not just focusing on how you feel in your own nether regions.

3. Regain Physical Control

Adding physical control to mental control will allow you to totally re-wire your ejaculatory triggers so that you can decide when you want to ejaculate. Training your ejaculatory muscles is critical to developing physical control. You see, your pelvic or perineal muscles control when you ejaculate. By strengthening the proper set of muscles, you are able to keep them relaxed at all times even with the most intense sexual stimulation.

There is no better time to start than now!

Many guys just lament that they can’t last long enough, and never make the effort to address this problem. Others resort to short-term tactics like desensitizing sprays and lube which don’t address the root causes. But if you are willing to put in the effort to understand how you body responds and develop both mental and physical control over your ejaculatory reflexes, you will be able to completely TRANSFORM your sex life and enjoy sex to the fullest!

5 Ways To Get Her To Be Better At Sex

By loveandsex

Sex tips aren’t something you can just give to a partner who is bad at sex – you have to be gentle about it. Here’s how to nudge your lover in the right direction.

Having sex with a girl that doesn’t really know what she is doing can be very frustrating. Nobody wants to sleep with a dud. A girl that is inhibited by her sexuality or simply does not know how certain positions make you feel can easily leave you exhausted with your sex life.

Just because the girl doesn’t really know what she’s doing, it doesn’t mean that you should end the relationship. You can turn this around by some simple communication exercises. Here are a few suggestions for getting her to be better at sex.

1. Talk To Her

Maybe she knows that your sex life is on the rocks, but maybe she doesn’t. For you know, she could think that everything is hunky dory. Talk to your girlfriend or wife and tell her that you think the sex could be improved. Every relationship has problems and sex is a very common one.

Talking to your wife will let her know that you are not satisfied with the sex, but willing to work on it so the relationship can improve. An improved sex life will lead to an improved relationship from an overall standpoint. You don’t want to be negative about your sex life. Keep things light and positive.

2. Find Out Her Fantasies

There is nothing that is going to get a girl enjoying herself more in the bedroom than exploring her very own sexual fantasies. When a girl is exploring her fantasies, she is going to be much more open to leaving her inhibitions at the door. Talk to her about what she finds hot. One of the problems with guys is they are centered on what they want in the bedroom rather than what their partner wants.

Your sex life should be filled with compromise. If your girl comes back and says that she wants to try something that you’re not really that thrilled about, go with it. When she sees that you’re compromising with her fantasies, she’s going to be more open to your fantasies.

3. Be The Guy She Wants To Change For

Whether you need to schedule more date nights or make more time for her in your every day life, be the guy that she wants to change for. Sex can be a never-ending conundrum. You don’t want to change because you’re not getting the sex that you want.

She doesn’t want to have sex because you’re not changing for her. Break this cycle by helping her out whenever possible. Make sure she has gas in her car. Do the laundry without being asked. When she is not worried about other things in her life, she will be more carefree and more open to feel the emotions she needs to make you happy.

4. Work On The Relationship

Sometimes a girl will be lethargic about sex because the relationship has other issues. Whether she is worried about the longevity of the relationship or if there have been infidelity issues, working on the relationship will definitely improve the sex. Reaffirm how much you care for her every day. Do little things that will make her feel special. No girl or guy wants to be in a relationship that isn’t going anywhere.

Sure casual relationships can be fun for a while, but the passion eventually wears off. A relationship cannot be sustained by sex alone. Realizing this and working on your relationship is a great way to get her to be more open about sex and better in bed.

5. Teach Her

Guys love it when women are vocal in bed. Why wouldn’t it be the other way around? When you are having sex, don’t be afraid to tell her what you want. Try to avoid things that are light-years ahead of the norm. For instance, don’t tell her that you want to have anal sex with her if you have never done it or ever discussed it. If you want to try a new position or you want her to go faster or slower, tell her.

Women aren’t mind readers. They might be able to pick up on a few things here or there, but telling her what you want outright is a surefire way to easily get the positions that you like. If she’s doing something wrong, correct her in a positive manner. Never criticize her during or after sex. The last thing that you want is for her to get embarrassed or ashamed of her techniques. Use positive reinforcement and you will start to see a vast improvement in your sex life.