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You are here: Home / Archives for Sex & Intimacy

Sex Tips & Advice

4 Simple Ways To Build Sexual Tension

By loveandsex

Sex tips will come in handy when you are trying to build sexual tension. However, you must understand that women’s minds work indirectly. Women don’t try to find concrete solutions to problems. They prefer to talk them “out of their system.”

A woman comes home from work and tells her boyfriend that another co-worker is driving her crazy. The man tries to solve this issue for her by giving her suggestions, such as “just talk to her about it”, or “go tell your story to the boss.” But women don’t want solutions, they want to express their feelings to “get them off their chests.”

So how can you apply this to attracting women? If you understand how women think, you are much better able to communicate with them on their level, or “speak the same language.” You will also not have to deal with rejection.

1. Answer Questions With Questions

Often men make the mistake of bringing up topics like,

“I went to X school…”
“I live in X city…”
“I work in X industry…”

Many men meet women and then use these topics because they run out of things to say. Big mistake.

How can you tell that you’re doing well with women? When they start asking YOU these questions. There’s no point bringing up these topics before they’re really important. Do you really want to know the occupation of the guy passing you in the street? Most likely, you don’t care.

Well, women feel exactly the same way.

Unless a woman is already interested or curious about you, she won’t ask these questions. This is where you can build tension without much thinking. Answer her questions with questions.

2. Be A Blank Canvas

If she knows nothing about you, she’ll want to know something.“He was amazing! But I don’t know anything about him. Where does he work? How old is he?”

Why do we do this? Because the more a woman needs to fill in the blanks, the more she’s thinking about you. The more she thinks about you, the more she’ll like you. Singles are more likely to be interested when they do not know anything about you.

3. Don’t Give In To Her

After a woman begins to show interest she may say things like, “Do you like my hair?” “Why would you do that? Is it because you don’t like me?” This is where most guys crumble while they are flirting.

Never give in to this. Instead, brush off her questions and never directly answer them. If a woman says, “Oh, I can’t believe you did that! Is it because you don’t like me?” and you say, “No, no, I do like you, I’m sorry.” Bam! You’ve just lost the upper hand and the woman has found out exactly what she wanted to know.

If you want to keep women interested, you need to keep them curious and keep them guessing. You can do this by putting down her comments. These questions present a great opportunity to build tension by teasing her further. “Do you like my hair?” “No, not really.” “Why? Are you trying to bring the 60’s back into fashion?”

“Do you like my hair?”
“Well, do you like it?”
“Why do you want to know?”

After you tease a woman about her dorky hair, walk, tag sticking out of her jeans, or whatever it is you have identified to tease, she might respond with a test like “Oh but you love me anyway!” As a general rule: never say “yes.”

4. Don’t Lose Her Interest

Many women stop being interested in men once they find out the men like them. This is a solid fact that I can verify. Many women I’ve spoken to say they lose interest and stop calling men once they know the men like them.

“Awe… but you love me!”
“Do I?”
“Is that what you think?”

If the woman asks personal questions, answer them with sarcastic and humorous answers

What’s your name? How old are you? These questions women are most likely to ask when they’re interested in you.

Men will then usually resort to tedious factual answers with bad body language that will not lead to the kind of flirtatious exchange that engages a woman’s attention. It’s not that these questions are bad – they just shouldn’t be used in a first encounter.

When women hit you with standard questions like these, it’s a good idea to have cheeky indirect answers ready to throw back at them. Playful and absurd remarks work the best. Here are some examples of better responses:

If you don’t talk in a playful tone of voice you’ll come across as serious, arrogant or just weird and you will never get a first kiss. On the other hand, if you answer her questions playfully with logical answers you’ll seem childish and feminine. So make sure your comments are both playful and absurd.

Of course you can’t keep this charade up forever, but by answering her questions in a funny way, you show her that you have a fun personality and don’t take the date too seriously. You can always answer these questions later if they keep coming up.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: approach women, flirting, sex tips, singles

One Night Stands: To Hit It Or Quit It?

By dicksinthecity

Sex tips can give you the technique that you need, but they generally do not focus on the ramifications of having sex. Here is what real men and women are saying about engaging in a one night stand.

What She Said:

Should You Have A One Night Stand?

A one night stand sounds like a hell of a lot sexier in movies than they are in real life. For women its not always as great of experience as it is for men. And usually there is a lot of alcohol involved. Yes, a stranger’s body can be thrilling and the idea of “using” someone can feel forbidden but the majority of the time that strangers body isn’t being used to please you.

If you are new to ONS and your sexual past consisted of committed relationships or even friends with benefits, then before embarking on a one-night stand you need to prepare yourself. One of the best sex tips is to mentally prepare yourself. Women often blur the lines between sex and emotions.

Know what you are doing and know that a ONS may not leave you with a feeling of fulfillment that you were used to in other relationships. Also, prepare yourself with protection. Bring condoms!!! Make sure your heart, mind and body are ready for this. You know yourself best.  Many women are able to separate sex from love and have a grand time doing it.

But if you are going to part take in your first ONS, be honest, know that there may not be fireworks, it may be super awkward and you may have regrets the next day.  All that being said, if you are ready and prepared then by all means, hit it and quit it!

What He Said:

Decide For Yourself!

Sex is like pizza. Even when it’s not that great it’s still really nice to have. Is it better when you’re in love and with your soulmate and your having that Sting and Trudy tantrically infusing nine hour marathon sex session? Sure. But if you meet some guy or some chick at a bar and you have a hot and heavy ten minute sex session and you used protection, this can be great too.

Condoms? Those are for sailors. 

Chuck Norris might not approve of one night stands, but why not? Yes, avoid the alcohol filled ones. Not just because the performance of both of you might not be so great, but those are often the hookups where condoms and other safety mechanisms get left by the wayside.

If you want to get good at having one night stands, it’s really quite simple. Go to a bar where you don’t ever go in a different city or neighborhood and have sex someone you would never ever want to see again, no matter how good the sex is. Stay sober. Go back to their place. Take a cab. Have really hot sex. Do not be there when they wake up. Don’t give them your real name.

I have a friend who takes this to a crazy level. She has wigs, glasses and fake names and even accents. Even if she went to the bar she always goes to no one would even recognize her. She finds that this randomness leads to better sex.

I don’t know what the point of this is, but it’s never stopped me before. If you are into this, go for it, if you’re not, you’re not. But don’t rule it out unless you’ve tried it. Sure girls tend to be more emotionally driven when having sex so many tend to prefer in relationships. A preference based on experience is one thing. A preference based on dogma that was forced up on you is an entirely different thing.

Whatever you want to do with one night stands, yay or nay, is totally cool. Just make sure you’re the one making those decisions. And just because you decide to bang lots of random people doesn’t necessarily mean you will get an STD, but it does mean you need to be really, really careful and secure your private parts like they are a crime scene on CSI. More sex can mean more exposure to risk, so you need to take that into mind before you take that hot piece of ass home with you.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: condoms, having sex, one night stand, sex tips

3 Sex Tips For A Better Sexual Relationship With ALL Women!

By loveandsex

Sex tips usually try to tell men how to last longer in bed. However, according to a recent study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, the “most desirable” length of time to spend having sex turned out to be only 7 to 13 minutes. Women started rating anything from 10 to 30+ minutes as “too long”. In fact, only 3 to 7 minutes of intercourse were needed for the act to be considered “adequate” and only when sex averaged one to two minutes or less did couples think that coitus wasn’t lasting long enough.

Be open, ask your wife which of the many techniques that she has experienced turn her on the fastest. Don’t worry about her finding the question awkward; she’s been waiting to hear it from you for years, but you haven’t afforded her a safe place to be explicitly asked about this delicate issue.

Knowing that she has an easier time coming all by herself, it can be easy to feel rejected and replaced. You’ve heard that old joke, right? “Why did God create man?” “Because a vibrator can’t mow the lawn.” That may be true – I’ve seen some pretty ridiculous contraptions in my search for sexual fulfillment, but none that could cut the grass!

But for women, sex isn’t a separate part of our existence. Lust isn’t distinct from our love and respect for you. These emotions intertwine and are incredibly complex. Here are 3 sex tips for better relationships.

1. A Vibrator Can’t Cuddle

Yes, sometimes when we are hot and bothered, when we need to relax and focus or fall fast asleep, masturbating is preferable. Sometimes we all just want to be alone – you too, right? But there is a clear distinction between the easiest way to orgasm, and the most enjoyable sexual experience. Sexpert Tracey Cox points out that “there is a reason why we jump through extraordinarily complicated hoops to not only make someone like us, but lust after us – it might be harder to have an orgasm with another person but it’s usually far superior quality.”

2. Throw Out the Calendar

What kind of hoops have you been jumping through? Sex schedules, couch cuddling sessions, couple’s therapy, a bevy of skills workshops – your brain is probably so full of new techniques that it’s ready to explode! Throw out that calendar. Women want the type of orgasms that are hot, exciting, intense, and don’t interfere with their afternoon workout and getting dinner on the table! The only way to ensure you are prepared for hot sex is to master one mind-blowing skill at a time.

3. Be a Musician, Not a Technician

You’ve warmed your wife up and she is primed and ready with you between her legs. As one hand heads for her soft bits, you run down the list of techniques to try in your head. You are so preoccupied with what’s next in your arsenal that you can’t really tell if she’s enjoying herself or not. You don’t bother to ask, because you’re too concerned with transitioning into the next move, and acting out the lie that you’re best for her as a “strong, silent type”.

A technician keeps a list of jobs he needs to get done and checks each one off in a row, making sure he hits every point until the machine in front of him is “fixed”. While an indispensable part of being a good man in day-to-day life, darling, this is not a sexy skill. Kim Cattrall writes that “the musician who never gets past technique never really plays music”. You need to be fit and finessed enough to know a few techniques really well when having sex. When you are a master at making love, you can have dozens of skills in your arsenal, but only when you can do them all well.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: better sex, female orgasm, orgasm, Relationship Advice, sex tips, vibrator

3 Easy Sex Tips To Banish the Anxiety Of Climaxing Too Soon!

By lloydlester

Premature ejaculation will really ruin your sex life if you let it. You can easily eliminate this from your sex life with 3 EASY techniques.   So, if  you constantly feel you are performing below par you can take control now. The simple truth is, premature ejaculation is a very common problem that many men face in the bedroom. It can affect even the healthiest men and deal a devastating blow to one’s confidence.

And the worse enemy behind longer-lasting sex is performance anxiety. Many men finish too quickly in bed because they fear they cannot perform to their partner’s expectations. These sex tips will tackle the nervous and anxious about their own abilities before the lovemaking even begins. Negative thoughts start to creep up on their minds. For example:

“Will I last long enough this time round?”
“I hope I don’t blow early again”
“I think I can’t please her enough”

Do you know what these negative thoughts will do? It will play out exactly what you fear most – an early ejaculation! These simple tricks will help you overcome your endurance shortcoming…

1. Cognitive Exercises

Imagine yourself with the natural ability to last as long as you want. How does that feel like? What will that do to your sex life? Will that give your woman the best sex of her life (I bet it will!)? You are what you think. The way your thoughts are played out during sex have a tremendous impact on the actual outcome and how long you last. So think positively!

2. See The Bigger Picture

Chill out! Your sex life does NOT end with premature ejaculation. There is always another time to have a go at it again. The quicker you realize this, the sooner your anxieties will disappear. PE is not a lifelong disease. With the right conditioning strategies, you can completely stop early ejaculation and enjoy longer-lasting sex every time!

3. Open Up!

Communication is KEY in any long term relationship, even more so when it comes to making love. Talk to your partner about your anxieties. Share with her what you are frustrated about. Most men never open up to their partners. But if you do, you will be pleasantly surprised to know that she will have her own anxieties about sex too.

Just like you, your woman will be wondering if she’s pleasing you enough during sex, or if you are enjoying her company! So don’t fret about you being the only one who does not measure up!

Filed Under: Erectile Dysfunction / Last Longer In Bed Tagged With: better sex, male orgasm, orgasm, premature ejaculation, sex tips

5 More Female Orgasm Myths You Think Are TRUE

By loveandsex

A female orgasm is associated with a lot of myths. Here are 5 of the most common myths that men think are true.

1. Women Can Only Reach Orgasm Through Vaginal Intercourse

This is a myth that has caused many men and women over the years to take the sexual needs of a woman for granted. This myth was actually started by Sigmund Freud, the developer of psychoanalysis. Through his research, he discovered that women could easily reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation.

But Freud dismissed this type of stimulation as juvenile, as he believed it was important for women to become more sexually mature by focusing only on vaginal stimulation to reach orgasms. The problem is that the vagina was not designed for orgasms. It does not have the concentrated nerve endings that one finds in the clitoris or in the head of a penis.

As a result of Freud’s determination, women who could not reach orgasm through vaginal intercourse were considered to have some type of psychological impairment. All sorts of methods and devices were devised in an attempt to “liberate” women from their reliance on the clitoris for sexual pleasure, many of which failed.

2. Only Women Fake Orgasms

It’s important for both men and women to realize that orgasms are not going to happen during every sexual encounter. As a result, women aren’t the only ones faking things. Studies show that about one-fifth of men admit to having a fake orgasm with a partner at one time or another.

Their reasons were the same as women’s: they didn’t want to hurt their partner’s feelings, they were tired and wanted to get it over with, etc. Orgasms don’t always come easily in a partnership. Even though masturbation often results in an orgasm every time, it’s important to remember that it’s simply because you’re already feeling aroused (which is the reason you’re masturbating in the first place) and you also know your body and what gets you off.

3. Men Only Care About Their Own Pleasure

This myth was probably true at some point in the past, but today more and more men worry about their role as lovers. Many strive to give their partners a sexual experience that’s just as pleasurable (if not more) as what they hope to experience themselves.

The only reason this myth continues to persist is a lack of understanding of female climax and how to help women achieve them. This isn’t something men and women are taught in sex education classes. And even if you asked your father, you’d probably still be left in the dark.

Every woman’s body is different, so even if you figured out how to give one partner mind-blowing orgasms, those same techniques might not work with another.

The key to knowing what’s sexually stimulating to your partner is communication. In an honest, caring relationship, the easier it is to share your thoughts and feelings, the easier it will be to experience a pleasurable sex life.

4. Most Couples Have Great Sex Every Time

Why does everyone else’s sex life appear to be better than yours? It could be because you’re at different stages of your relationships. You can’t compare sex from a six-month relationship to a six-year-been-there-done-that relationship. Our nervous system is designed to become desensitized to things that we routinely receive stimulation from. That’s not to say that long-term sex can’t be as pleasing—it’s just different.

If you and your lady know all the right buttons to push with each other (and you should after all that practice!), orgasm is often guaranteed and sex can still be very loving and passionate. My guess is that you wouldn’t be able to hold down a job with the amount of energy it would take you to sustain such a sex life.

5. Sex Is The Most Important Part Of A Relationship

Couples can only spend so much time in a relationship having sex. So if you love someone for more than just sex, you have no choice but to relate to each other on other levels. Sex is, indeed, a very important part of a relationship. However, most people (including men) have other needs, usually divided equally.

When you look at it this way, although sex tends to be a man’s number one need, it still accounts for only 25% of what he needs in life to be happy. Based on a variety of surveys and studies on long term relationships, approximately 20% of men believe that mind-blowing sex is “crucial,” whereas the other 80% look at it as “the icing on the cake” of a healthy relationship.

Filed Under: Orgasm Tagged With: better sex, female orgasm, having sex, masturbation, orgasm, sex tips

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