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You are here: Home / Archives for Sex & Intimacy

Sex Tips & Advice

How To Keep Having Sex Even After You Ejaculate

By loveandsex

Foreplay is usually before sex, right? It doesn’t have to be! Use foreplay to give your partner an orgasm if you ejaculate too early.

Women don’t care if you’ve ejaculated or not, but THEY DO CARE IF YOU STOP THE FUN. They’re pissed with guys who don’t understand a most basic sexual principle: Just because you’re relieved doesn’t mean I am. The issue with premature ejaculators is not the white liquid – it’s that after they shoot, fast guns stop everything and act like the woman is also done.

Who Decides When Sex Is Over?

The man? The woman?

For most, it’s neither. It’s an orgasm. Semen is an oracle declaring to men, “That’s all folks!” Feeling relieved, they believe this and retire like car salesmen without any after-sales service.

But here’s the thing: Semen really is just semen. It means you climaxed, good for you! The juice represents the procreative aspect of things, but sex isn’t solely for procreation, is it?

AN ORGASM DOESN’T SAY OR MEAN ANYTHING unless you want it to. You can treat it as if nothing happened.

Men stray after they spray when they make their orgasm the sole goal.

When that’s the case, then there’s really no difference between masturbation and intercourse – the hot girl is irrelevant. (Be careful when setting goals, they’re double edged. They set your focus, but they also define your blind spots.)

Yeah, the penis-inside-the-vagina bit may be over, but not the fun. For there’s no stopping a couple from doing other stuff. Penetration isn’t the only thing on the menu. Thrusting may be over for now, but not the sex.

Doesn’t it makes more sense to wrap up when both partners are satisfied, whether this is attended by one orgasm or not, than wrap things up simply because one sees white liquid?

Treat Your Orgasm As If Nothing Happened

This doesn’t mean that you continue with the poking. No! What can you do with limp equipment, really? Forget your thing. After reaching orgasm, you experience a virtual absence in arousal, a refractory period of 5-15 minutes. Since you already got into her pants, you can easily dress up & leave or doze off, and there’s absolutely nothing she can do about it. Now this is where most men blow it big time.

Invest in the refractory period and distance yourself from the other guys.

MAKE THE NEXT SEVERAL MINUTES ABOUT HER!

Notice how easy it is to tease and please when you’re done? You really don’t need much after you’ve sprayed, do you? You can actually think straight, can you?

Forget your temporarily dilapidated tool and unleash your most prized possessions – your tongue and hands.

Give her oral sex and get busy. Explore her body as if the first time. Kiss her ears, neck and back. Stroke her hair. Pull it lightly. Caress her shoulders, gently sweep her inner thighs. Get busy with her nipples and stroke her breasts. (Are you sensing more foreplay coming?)

In a few minutes, you will feel another surge of the urge. In an instant, you will become a man again. It’s like being reborn, only better. It’s your second chance at bat, an opportunity the average guy rarely finds.

The loss of arousal and erection are not final. Barring medical conditions, arousal and erection should return. You may be calmed and satisfied after one blow, but just you wait a few minutes and you’ll be begging to ride her again.

Simply knowing this brings you on a different footing from the inexperienced boy who retires after one shot and anxiously wait for next week’s booty call. He never gets to meet his 2nd and 3rd winds!

This is the real issue with premature ejaculation, it’s how you treat her when you’re done.

Filed Under: Foreplay Tagged With: female orgasm, foreplay, have better sex, orgasm, premature ejaculation

The 10 Condom Commandments

By loveandsex

Condoms are essential for safe sex, but do you know the ten condom commandments?

1. Always Have One With You

Always have condoms handy, wherever you go. Guys, don’t carry them in your pocket or wallet though. It’s easier for a girl, because condoms can easily go in the purse without worry, but the heat from a pocket or wallet can degrade the latex material. Don’t keep them in the car either, or you’ll expose them to even more extreme temperatures of heat or cold, depending on what season it is.

Guys, stash them in your nightstand, your bathroom, your locker at the gym, your desk at work and anywhere else you can think of where you can grab one and go if you need to.

2. Learn How To Put It On The Right Way

You may think you know how to put on a condom correctly, but you may not. There’s a certain way to grip it at the base, and you of course have to leave enough space at the top for semen. Take the time to read the instructions (they’re in every box) and follow them to a T. Incorrect condom use is mainly what is responsible for condom failure. Studies show that when put on, worn and used correctly, that the success rate is much, much higher.

3. Always Check For Holes, Expiration Dates, Etc.

So your buddy gave you a condom “just in case.” You’d better check it out. Inspect the wrapper for tears, holes or other issues and always make sure the condom isn’t expired. Do this for your own stash too – that box of condoms you have tucked away in your bathroom medicine cabinet may be older than you think. If one is questionable, toss it and get a new one. You can afford it. You can’t afford the alternative or you wouldn’t care enough to use one at all.

4. Get Your Correct Size

A LOT of guys assume that they need the large or “magnum” size condoms, when in reality, a regular condom will do just fine. The different sizes out there are based on length AND width, so check out what size condom you need and use the correct one. Using a condom that is too tight can cause it to break, or using one that is too loose can cause it to slide off.

5. Use Plenty Of Lube

Lube makes sex feel better anyways, but it also makes condoms work better. Put a dab of lube on the inside of the condom before you put it on for heightened sensations, and make sure to coat the outside and get it good and wet before intercourse. Plenty of lube will help keep it from stretching too much, tearing or breaking.

6. Experiment With Different Kinds

Don’t just pick up the most random box of condoms you can find and use those. Take some time to find out which ones fit best and feel best. Get a variety pack and pay attention to the different sensations and which ones are better for you and your partner. Go online and purchase some of the higher quality condoms used by professionals in the porn industry. If condoms are going to be your new favorite accessory (and they SHOULD be if you’re not in a monogamous relationship), then spend the time and money to find a brand and style that you really enjoy.

7. Don’t Forget Them For Oral Sex

Oral sex is “technically” safer than vaginal or anal sex when it comes to the transmission of STD’s, but that doesn’t mean that you should forgo the rubber if you’re having oral sex. Use flavored condoms for oral sex, because they taste (and smell) much better than regular condoms. ABOVE ALL, do not use condoms treated with spermicide for oral sex! If going down on a girl, cut the condom lengthwise and put over the vulva like a dental dam, with a squirt of lube in between her and the rubber.

8. Discuss Condoms BEFORE Having Sex!

Do not discuss them five seconds before penetration, or even afterwards. The last thing you want to do is afterwards have to ask, “Hey, did you wear one?” If you’re hooking up, discuss it before the clothes even come off. If you’re too drunk to put one on correctly or too drunk to care, then you’re too drunk to get it on. Have the conversation about safety as soon as you decide that yes, you’re going to be taking your pants off for this person.

9. Keep Tools On Hand In Case Of Breakage

Condoms can break. Even when you put them on correctly, even when you do everything you’re supposed to. It can happen. So make sure you have a backup plan. If you’re not super sensitive to spermicide, consider using it in addition to the condom just in case. Spermicides are handy – they come in a variety of different forms that sometimes, you or your partner can’t even feel! The “thin film” kind can be folded and inserted into the vagina, where it melts and can’t be felt AT ALL. Suppositories are similar, while gels and foams are a little more messy. If you haven’t used spermicide before sex and the rubber breaks, have a bottle of gel or foam spermicide on hand that you can insert immediately – however, the suppositories and films won’t work well after the fact.

Also consider birth control – if you’re on birth control regularly and also use condoms, your layers of safety are well put in place. If you choose not to use birth control regularly, consider having the morning after pill (called Plan B and available at pharmacies and Planned Parenthood across the country) available. If you choose to use Plan B, have it on hand. Do NOT wait until you have a breakage to go get it. There’s a small window in which the medicine can really be effective, and this window is AS SOON as you can, but before 72 hours has passed. The more hours that pass between the breakage and the Plan B, the less effective the medication will be.

10. NO GLOVE, NO LOVE!

If you’re with someone who you are not monogamous with, who hasn’t been STD tested, or you aren’t sure of their sexual history (or all of the above), use a condom. Do not compromise, do not allow yourself to be talked out of it. Do not let someone say they’ll pull out, or that you don’t need one because they “love you.” If you don’t want an STD or an unplanned pregnancy, protect yourself. Insist on if there’s no glove, there will be no love. PERIOD. Do not compromise. Do not budge. If they want it bad enough, they’ll put it on. If not, they weren’t worth your time anyways.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: condoms, lube, oral sex, safe sex, sex tips, STDs

Oral Sex Troubleshooting & What To Do If Things Aren’t Going Well

By loveandsex

Oral sex doesn’t always go as planned. Sometimes she won’t respond well to your technique – so here’s what to do to troubleshoot oral sex.

Have you ever had a situation with a woman where you had no idea what to do, or worse, you knew what was wrong but needed a nice way to say it? This is the article for you then, where you’ll get feedback on several tricky yet manageable situations and questions you know, the kind that you want to ask about, but were afraid to.

“She Doesn’t Seem To Enjoy My Oral Technique”

It could be that you’ve noticed her not as engaged as she usually is while in the heat of the moment, or maybe she isn’t as excited about you going down on her lately as she used to be. There could be a few reasons why she’s acting a bit different:

  • You’re so concerned about your technique and pleasing her, that her anxiousness is rubbing off on her and she’s not able to get in the mood
  • You’ve lost the fun quotient and are a bit robotic or mechanical, and she’s getting a bit bored with the lack of variety.

Really though, it doesn’t matter what the reason is because the answer is the same: if she gets even a whiff of you not being 100% enthusiastic or into cunnilingus with her, she’ll have a hard time enjoying it.

So how to remedy this? Put your concerns or fears out of your head for a bit, and focus on the aspects of oral sex that are a total turn on for you. Most women will go crazy with that knowledge, and be able to open up and enjoy themselves more fully. So flash her a winner of a smile with a tweak of naughty to it, and then just go to it. It’s highly unlikely that with that attitude, you’ll get any complaints.

“She Has Lots of Pubic Hair?”

Some gents are quite fond of the 70’s look, but others would much rather see what they are doing, or they find the trimmed and/or baby smooth look a real turn on. Doesn’t matter really what matters is how you deal with it.

If it’s the first time that you’re going down on her, it may just be that she hasn’t had time to do any shaving yet. Give her some warning next time and see if she takes care of things without you having to say anything on the matter.

If your hints don’t get the job done, it’s time for the next step: subtlety. If the two of you ever watch porn together, try casually mentioning how hot you find the barely there hair on the ladies. Or, don’t trim your pubic hair. When she’s done going down on you next time, apologize for not keeping things neat and tidy, and then say with a naughty smile, “I will if you will!”

If neither of those tactics work and you really need her to perform some maintenance, your only other option is to talk to her about it directly. “I think you’re amazing, and I love going down on you. I find it difficult to see what I’m doing though, and I’d really like to give you the most amazing orgasm ever! Is there any way that we could trim things up together? I’m totally willing to help.”

“It’s Taking Too Long”

The length of time it will take to get your partner off depends on her as long as it takes. There’s really no way to predict how long, other than to use your past experiences with this woman as an indicator as to what might happen in the future.

Some women, it takes a while to get to where they need to be, both mentally and physically. Others can build the necessary tension in a few minutes, and can fly towards orgasm straight-on without a lot of coaching or encouragement. And for different women it’ll change based on their mood, cycle, past experiences, stress levels, diet, medications, and even alcohol. (Alcohol, while in small amounts can help her relax, but too much and it’ll take her much longer to climax, if at all)

Another factor that needs to be taken into account as to how long a session will last, is how much foreplay time she received prior to oral sex. The more time you spend prepping her, the less time it’ll take for her get to the finish line.

Also, the better you know your partner, the easier time you’ll have of figuring out what’s ‘normal’ for her, and how long it should take to make her orgasm.

“She Doesn’t Smell Fresh”

She may have looked irresistible when two of you went out dancing before your night of bliss, but once those beads of sweat have cooled? They aren’t anywhere near as appealing.

The easiest answer is to suggest getting her out of her clothes and hopping into the shower together. Take the sensuality one step further by lathering her up yourself, making sure not to get any soap inside of her or else she’ll be dry and may complain about itching and burning later. Icky.

If you don’t have the opportunity to take a shower together, flavored dental dams work really well to mask offensive odors in a pinch, as do some flavored lubes. Worst case scenario? Grab a warm cloth and gently wipe her down yourself, making sure to let the heat of the water soften up her vulva while you kiss and stroke her skin elsewhere.

“I Think She’s Addicted To Her Vibrator and Can’t Have an Orgasm With Me”

There is such a thing as too much, as you probably well know from your own masturbation experiences. When someone gets used to a certain method, feeling, or approach, it can be incredibly difficult to respond without it. Less variety in this case isn’t a good thing, so you may need a bit of time to, literally, retrain your partner’s clitoris to accept different, softer kinds of fondling.

If your gal isn’t willing to let go of her vibrator for a while and try playing without one (it may take her longer to have an orgasm, but in time she’ll reprogram her body to react in the same way), try it her way instead. Buy a long handled vibrator, so you can use it in tandem with your hands and mouth. See if you can alternate movements or change things up a bit with the extra ‘hand’, and watch carefully how she responds. It may take a bit of time for her to relearn how to orgasm by someone else’s hand, but eventually she’ll find the pleasure completely worthwhile.

“When She Has an Orgasm, She Pees. Ick!”

What you think is pee is probably just a tiny bit of liquid that women squirt during orgasm. It’s extremely rare for a woman to pee during orgasm same thing for a man so assume that it’s really her body’s signal that she’s had an amazing orgasm. G-spot orgasms can also create a much larger amount of fluid, but again, it’s not urine.

If the liquid really grosses you out or you’re convinced it is pee, there are a few things you can do. First, go to the bathroom before you start your next oral episode, and then ask your partner if she needs to go too. It’ll prompt her to empty her bladder just in case, without you having to say it. Also, make sure that there’s a towel handy for quick and easy clean up after you’ll want one too for your orgasm anyway, so it’s not out of the ordinary. Dental dams provide a separation between her fluids and your mouth too, and if it’s only a small amount you’ll likely not even notice.

Filed Under: Oral Sex Tagged With: clitoris, cunnilingus, female orgasm, oral sex, orgasm, sex tips

How To Be A Great Kisser

By serenapaige

The kiss is an art form that a lot of couples assume isn’t necessary – but it is for amazing sex! Learn how to give the best lip service your partner’s ever had.

A kiss tends to be an oversight for some men. We want to get to the main event and rush the foreplay. The problem with this is that women like kissing just as much as sex. When you’re a bad kisser, women instantly shut down. If you’re wondering why you’re not going on more second and third dates, it could be because you’re a bad kisser. Being great at kissing can get you second and third dates based on this fact alone. So if you’re tired of getting the run-around from women and you’re willing to put a little practice into kissing, you can start out with these suggestions.

Lips

Obliviously it goes without saying that your lips are the most important part of kissing. However, a lot of guys forgo taking care of them before they go on a date. During the fall and winter months, lips can be bombarded by colder weather. Chapped and cracked lips are not sexy. Always carry lip balm with you to cut down on having chapped and cracked lips. Nobody wants to start kissing you when your lip could split and start bleeding. Applying lip balm to your lips once every hour will have them repaired in about a day.

Mirroring

Have you ever watched a couple kissing each other? When you watch a couple kiss, they are usually mirroring each other’s actions. When a guy puts his arms around the girl’s waist, she puts her arms around his waist. When the guy turns to the left to kiss his girlfriend, she turns to the left. Mirroring is compliance. This only occurs when the girl is comfortable with the guy. If she is not comfortable while kissing you, you should be able to feel it.

Escalation

Have you ever seen a guy go in for that kiss with too much momentum? This can be one of the most cringe-worth moments in a guy’s life. Kissing should be able escalation. You want to start slow. Barely touch her lips with you own and then escalate the situation further by kissing a little stronger every 5-6 seconds. When you start out too fast, you ruin the moment. Starting out slow is essential for getting her in the right mood.

Don’t Be Too Stiff

If you’re too stiff while you’re kissing, she will probably not be into it. Locked knees, hands gripping her waist like Stallone in Cliffhanger and a stiff neck are not what you want. Be loose, but firm. Hold her while you’re kissing, but don’t pull her into you so she can’t breath. You want to have mobility to distribute your weight while kissing. Moving your head and rocking back and forth are staples of good kissing. If you’re too stiff she won’t be able to mirror your movements. Remember that you’re leading during the kiss and she is supposed to be mirroring you. It shouldn’t be the other way around.

The Tongue

The tongue is another part of kissing that can be confusing. Yes, using your tongue is a lot of fun, but you shouldn’t be Reptile from Mortal Kombat. Keep that thing in your mouth until it’s time to use it. Don’t immediately shove your tongue into her mouth. This goes back to escalation. You want to ease into using your tongue. When implementing the tongue into kissing you want to gauge the situation based on her reciprocation. If you’re using your tongue and she’s not using it back, you might want to hold off until she feels more comfortable.

Hands

Your hands are a good way to pull the girl in closer and turn it on fairly quickly. If you’re hands are roaming around her body or her breasts, she could get uncomfortable. This also comes back to mirroring. When you start kissing, feel free to move your hands around her back and bring them up to her neck or cheeks. If she starts to pull back or she stops you from moving your hands around her, stop moving them immediately. She might be comfortable kissing her, but not comfortable with mauling her with your hands.

Finishing

Eventually the kissing will stop. When you are stopping you don’t want it to come to a grinding halt. Taper off from the kissing to tease her and leave her wanting more. If you stop immediately you will ruin the whole kiss. Pull your lips away slowly and take a second or two to allow the air to clear. You won’t want to pull away and then just start talking or walk away. Finish strong!

Filed Under: Kissing Tagged With: flirting, foreplay, kissing, seduction

5 Ways To Get Him To Stop Watching Porn

By loveandsex

Porn is something all guys watch at some point in their lives. It’s a normal and natural thing to be curious about porn and to want to see what it’s all about – it’s even more common for men to use it when they get older during masturbation, simply because men are visual creatures and need something to look at when they do their business. But what do you do if he wants porn on all the time? How can you get him to look at YOU instead?

1. Find Out What He’s Watching

Whether you do this by asking him straight up what kind of porn he likes, or by doing a little secret digging in his computer files while he’s not home, you need to find out what kind of porn he’s watching. This may be the key here. If he likes BDSM or even has a secret fetish that he feels like he can’t share with you, what he watches during masturbation can give you a clue. If you find that what he watches when he masturbates differs greatly from what you two do together, try incorporating a little bit of what he likes into sex. Do it slowly so you don’t tip him off. But if you start playing the game the way he likes it, he’ll be more apt to do it with you than to have vanilla sex and retire to his computer or television later.

2. Make Amateur Porn

Guys are visual, period. They need to see things to get off. Women can use their imaginations all day long and imagine in great detail everything they need to during a masturbation session, but men find that very difficult. It’s much easier if they can look at a bouncy pair of breasts or a dripping wet….well, you get the picture – while they get the job done. So if you’re tired of him looking at other women instead of you, don’t ask him to stop looking at porn flat out – because that’s not going to happen. Instead, make porn for him – of you!

Take some naughty pictures of yourself or have a trusted friend do it. You can throw the digitals into a free, easy to use online editing program to make yourself look your best – or if you REALLY want to go all out, have professional boudoir photos done. If he has some really sexy pictures of YOU to look at, he might not go looking at other girls all that often.

3. How Do You Look?

Guys like different body types. Some men enjoy very thin, athletic women, while other guys like a few rolls they can grab on to while they slam into you from behind. It’s all about personal preference. So don’t assume that your man wants to see you skin and bones just because that’s what all the Victoria’s Secret lingerie ads look like. But take some time to really think about the type of body your man does find attractive. This is where checking out his porn collection can come in handy. Are all the girls a little round, while you look like you just ran a marathon? Try packing on a couple pounds if you’re comfortable with that.

Does he seem to like more athletic women, while you’re a little more round? Try getting healthier and losing a few pounds, if you’re comfortable with it. You don’t have to change your looks to become a complete carbon copy of his little porno mistresses, but if you take some time to think about what HE really likes and try to meet those desires a little, you’ll notice a huge difference in how much more attention he pays to you.

4. Get Some Damn Confidence

Honestly, it doesn’t matter THAT much to your guy what you’re packing. He wouldn’t be with you if he didn’t find you at least somewhat attractive. You want to know the biggest difference between those porn girls and you? Confidence! They know what they’re doing, they’re confident in their ability to do it well and that translates on screen. Slip on a pair of heels, strut your stuff and act like you KNOW you look good! Because you do! Just a change in your attitude and enthusiasm about the way you look and sex in general is enough to get him to turn off the tube and follow you to the bedroom.

5. Have More Sex

Next time he wants it, don’t brush him off. Don’t tell him you have a headache, don’t tell him you’re on your period, don’t tell him that you “just don’t feel like it” and most certainly, you should not do it and fake an orgasm. Just get into it! The more sex you have, the more you’re going to want it. Same goes for him. If he knows he can get mind blowing sex pretty much any time he wants, he’s not going to want the porn as much, if at all. So don’t wave him off next time he appears interested in having sex with you. Turn the interest right around and pounce on him! Give him something to remember next time he goes looking for something good to watch. He might just say, “Forget it!” and go looking for you instead!

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: adult movies, masturbation, porn, sex tips

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