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Why Flowers And Jewelry Are Murdering Your Sex Life

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Have you ever sprung for a fancy night out on the town, a lavish bouquet of flowers or a piece of sparkly jewelry that makes your paycheck want to shrivel up and commit ritual suicide, thinking it was going to light a MAJOR fire in your sex life?

Only to find yourself hours later, feeling frustrated, horny and ripped off, staring at the ceiling, cursing your hard on and wondering why the night of head-board-cracking passion you were desperately dreaming of failed to materialize?

If you have, you sure as heck ain’t alone!

“I ain’t saying’ she’s a gold digger , but she ain’t messing with no broke bloke” – Kanye West

“Are those space pants? Because they make your ass look out of this WORLD” – Unknown.

Fact is a the world is chock full guys who have been brainwashed into thinking that the way to turn a woman on (whether she’s your wife, your girlfriend or even just that hot and sultry check out girl who always mangles your bread with such erotic passion) is by “being romantic” and “buying her stuff.”

Why Buying Romantic Stuff Won’t Get You Laid

  • It’s totally insulting to women and paints them as “gold diggers” who’s motors go into overdrive thanks to physical things (I think you can agree with me if you’re on this site that women are sexy, wonderful, awesome and smell great.)
  • It’s complete and utter BULLSHIT.

No Woman Can Really Be Seduced By Flowers

Despite what the romance industry and “Sex In The City” would tell you, NO WOMAN actually gets turned on by flowers (or by jewelry, or by super-price tickets to Cats. Actually, tickets to Cats might be grounds for divorce in some states.)

Now, I’m not saying your wife (or girlfriend or the mail carrier with the delectable thighs) won’t sleep with you if you shell out a lot of cash for on her.

A lot of women, when faced with a big bouquet, a bottle (or three) of good wine or a rock that makes your monthly mortgage look like pocket change will lay back and LET you make sweet (boring) love them out of a sense of duty or gratitude.

But There’s a Huge Difference Between Gratitude and LUST

Out of a sense of GRATITUDE, your wife (or girlfriend or that one waitress with the sexy limp) might LET you have your way with her .

But she probably won’t ENJOY it. She won’t BRAG to her friends about what an amazing lover you are and she won’t count down the moments until the next time she can pounce on you like a lioness digging into a porterhouse steak.

Bringing back my high school algebra, the equation is:

“Materialistic Romance” = “Sense of Gratitude and Duty” = Boring “by the numbers” sex where you think about porn stars and she thinks about knitting, or no sex at all because you’re both “too tired” and “married people don’t have that much sex anyway.”

Getting into her lizard brain and TURNING HER ON = Overwhelming, logic-killing lust = Silly grins, swishing hips, orgasms that make you pass out and the kind of cheat-proof marriage that builds nations and rolls back unfair taxation.

Pretty big difference, huh?

So how do you actually TURN YOUR WOMAN ON?

You don’t do it by “buying her stuff.”

How To REALLY Turn Her On

You’ve probably heard this before, but a woman’s biggest erogenous zone is her MIND (while a man’s biggest erogenous zone is his stomach. Wait, that’s probably not quite right.)

And the biggest way to “tickle” that erogenous zone – blowing past all her defenses, making her feel like you’re the ONE MAN who understands how to turn her on and get her so hot and ready she eye-f*cks the check out boy at the supermarket – is with stories and WORDS .

The simple fact is if you can TALK to your woman, draw her attention to the fires burning in her body and engage her imagination, you’ll have the “bed-destroying” sex you’ve been craving since your honeymoon, and that no amount of flowers, overpriced entrees or blood diamonds can ever replicate.

I’ll be teaching you some specifics about how to use language to turn any woman on in my next few articles.

In the meantime…

How To Make Your Girl’s Sex Drive Stronger Than Yours!

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Sex tips are definitely something you want to have on hand to keep your sex life fresh. If you want MORE sex, here’s how to revv up your lady’s sex drive.

Do you ever feel as though you have a HIGHER sex drive than your girl? Maybe you’re always the one who has to initiate sex, or maybe she’s just not in the mood as often as you are.

If you’re finding these things happening with your woman, you’re not alone.

But, I’m going to venture that the REASON WHY she doesn’t seem to want to make love as often as you do is NOT because she has a lower sex drive!

Why She Doesn’t “Want” Sex

What is really happening is you’re just not satisfying her enough during sex to make her CRAVE it!

You see, in order for a woman to experience REAL sexual pleasure, she MUST be having orgasms. Her moaning, saying its good, or just letting you have sex with her IS NOT ENOUGH. Think about how sex would feel for YOU if you always got “close” but were never able to fully get off. That would pretty much suck, right? Well that’s exactly what your girl is going through if you’re not giving her the mind-blowing orgasms she craves!

If you’re not giving your girl orgasms when you make love, it may SEEM like she is having fun. But in reality, she’s probably just being nice, and sleeping with you because she feels she has to. And if this is the case, then she’s not going to want to have sex with you very often.

Worst case scenario, if she’s been with a guy in the past who was capable of giving her orgasms – and you are not – she’s probably not going to stick around very long unless you are married or financially supporting her.

It’s sad, but true.

But fortunately since most guys DON’T know how to give a woman orgasms, you probably don’t have anything to worry about. (But in a way, isn’t that even MORE sad?!?)

Getting Her Off

On the upside, giving a woman orgasms is not difficult, it’s just DIFFERENT! A woman’s body works very differently than a man’s, and once you know the subtle differences, it’s actually very EASY to give your woman not just one orgasm, but 2, 3, 4 or more – even different kinds like blended orgasms!

When you ARE able to give your woman orgasms, sex with you is not frustrating… it’s FUN! So of course, she’ll want to have sex with you all the time! Often times, she’ll even be the one asking you for sex!

How To TELL If You Are Getting Her Off

The lesson to take away here is that your girl’s “sex drive” and how often she wants to have sex with you have nothing to do with body chemistry and everything to do with whether or not you are sexually satisfying her.

With this in mind, here’s how to tell if you are:

  • If your girl wants sex at least 3-4 times a week, then you are satisfying her.
  • If she DOESN’T want sex at least 3-4 times a week, then I am sorry, but you are not.

It’s really that simple.

How To Make Absolutely SURE You Satisfy Your Woman Every Time

Start by giving her a foreplay orgasm each and every time. Giving a girl an orgasm through intercourse is a MUCH more intense experience for a girl, and giving her one of these body-shaking orgasms usually requires you know some techniques.

On the other hand, giving a woman a foreplay orgasm is easy.

So easy, that there is NO EXCUSE for not being able to give your girl a foreplay orgasm! But first, REMEMBER:

While you’re going to give her this orgasm during foreplay, it’s important that you continue to think of foreplay as PART of the sex, because to your girl, it is! Women love foreplay and you can keep it going until she is DESPERATE for you to be inside of her. Women LOVE this!

Here are a few ways to keep foreplay going:

  • Kiss her for 10-15 minutes before taking off clothes (hers or yours)
  • Rub her over her “area” for 5 FULL minutes and refuse to take her panties or clothes off no matter how much she or you wants it – tell her how much she wants you AND how much you want her
  • If you start the technique I’m about to share with you AFTER you do all this stuff then you are almost GUARANTEED to give her a foreplay orgasm!

Giving A Clitoral Orgasm

The easiest way to give her a foreplay orgasm is by stimulating her clitoris. Here’s one way to do it that I know your girl will like:

  1. When massaging it, use one finger in circular strokes directly on it, but to the upper right. Think of it like the 1:30 position on a clock. For reasons I can’t explain, this particular area of a woman’s clitoris is packed with even MORE nerve endings than the rest!
  2. Make sure she is wet, or add lube (you can also lick your finger).
  3. It’s important that you keep a steady pressure the whole time, but not too hard! We girls are much more sensitive than you are, so start off light, and don’t go harder until she starts pressing herself against you.
  4. Once she starts lifting her hips towards you, go just a little bit faster – and tell her softly and gently, “Come for me baby and totally relax.” This reassures her that it’s “okay” to let herself go, and often you reassuring her is exactly what she needs to go from feeling really good to going OVER THE TOP and having an incredible orgasm!

Discover How To Give Her More Advanced Orgasms

Giving a woman a foreplay orgasm is always a good time, but if you REALLY want to take her pleasure to a level that no man ever has before, you’re gonna have to give her the more ADVANCED types of orgasms that make her whole body pulsate with pleasure! The type of orgasms that leave her lying there wondering what just happened – and instantly have her calling you the BEST she’s ever had!

The Best Sex Tips You’ve Never Heard Of

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Sex tips are often things you see over and over again – the same ones, literally beat into your brain. But here are some incredible sex tips that are brand new!

Everyone could always use a really great sex tip, regardless of your skill level. From passionless missionary sex to oral sex that is more paint by numbers that porn star wild, you may need a few tricks of the trade to spice things up. Or maybe things are hot and you want to make them even hotter.

What She Said:

There are so many sex tips out there when it comes to pleasing your man, but what about you? Below, I offer some sex tips specifically for women to use on themselves.

Sex is a mental thing for women, we have to shut out the outside world and ignore our to-do list. You have to silence your inner critic and all those voices in your head. One way to help silence them is to prep your mind for sex. Think sexy thoughts throughout the day. Why not wear sexy lingerie under your normal work clothes. No one has to know what you are wearing under there and that makes it all the more sexy! Another tip is to watch a sexy movie or read some erotica before you get busy with your man. There is such a wide array of porn that is catered to women that you are bound to find something that helps light your fire.

Now that you have spent some extra time getting yourself into the mood, the next step is to get it on. My next tip and one of my favorites, is to TAKE CONTROL! Make the first move or show him what you like. In order for him to please you he needs to know what you like. So many women just go through the motions of sex without speaking up or showing their lover what they like. So get on top of him and use him as your own personal sex toy.

While you are on top, lean forward so your clitoris gets all the delicious contact it needs. While on top you can also control the pace and depth. Make it a game, tell him he can’t come until you have. A woman who can own her sexuality and isn’t afraid to ask for what she wants in bed is the sexiest sex tip of all!

What He Said:

The best sex tip I can offer is to look good naked. Working out is great. It boosts your libido, your mood and when you look great naked, you want to be naked more often. It also can help you attract the hottest lovers of your life!

Any kind of exercise will do, at the end of the day it’s what works for you. Yoga is great, because it’s basically porn already. Don’t believe me? Go to a yoga class. There are strippers and porn stars who wear more clothing. And you’ll get all hot and sweaty with sexy people bending over, twisting like pretzels, it’s hot.

You have to own it too. Sex starts and ends in the mind. If it’s not there to begin with, it won’t happen in your naughty bits. Meditation is good, but also just stand naked in front of your mirror butt ass naked and really get comfortable in your skin. You are hot to someone and someone will want to have hot steamy intercourse, oral sex, anal sex, or whatever the hell else you’re into but first you have to feel good about you. That’s first.

Assuming you’ve got that taken care of, let’s get down to the brass tacks. Make your fantasies a reality. You may need to get creative. If you’ve always fantasized about a three way and you’re in a monogamous relationship, try getting a vibrator and using it in your backdoor while you have intercourse with your husband. If you want to be with a girl and you’re afraid or not ready (and you’re a woman) go to a strip club. Get a lap dance. If you’ve always wanted to be in control, buy handcuffs and handcuff your man to the bed. If you want to be dominant, be dominant. If you want to be submissive, be submissive.

I’m a big believe that the greatest sex tip is to find a way to have the vacation sex you love in your every day life. You may have to schedule it. Like married people with kids schedule sex or old people schedule their last glass of Ovaltine before the big Matlock Marathon. Just be consistent and be patient.

10 Libido Types – Which One Is YOUR Girl?

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Libido types are important for understanding your partner. The more often you can practice touching each other, the easier and more magical it will get! The amount of time that you have available for sex will vary, but you can maximize your chances by gaining an understanding of your wife’s libido. Take these tips to heart and make the most of her love-style.

1. The Sensual Type

The sensual woman is an emotional creature and sex is a pure expression of her love for you. She adores the exotic when it comes to exploring the finer things in life, so don’t be surprised if she enjoys feeling champagne bubbles on her skin or the taste of fresh fruit and chocolate during foreplay.

2. The Erotic Type

Eroticism is defined by its intensity. An erotic libido demands the extraordinary – something breathtaking and adventurous. This woman probably won’t turn down “ordinary” sex, but to really grab her attention it needs to have that spark.

3. The Dependent Type

A dependent libido understands sex as a way to relieve stress and relax. A woman thus inclined is likely to become upset and frustrated without frequent release, but may not always be willing to initiate. To avoid the cycle of abstinence – then fighting over a lack of sex drive – then make-up-sex release, you may want to try adding some other regular physical activity to your routine.

Try going for hikes or playing a sport together to invigorate that competitive spirit and warm up your bodies, minds and emotions before letting go.

4. The Reactive Type

This sexual personality is rarely aroused before their partner. They will almost never instigate sex through foreplay, but can have an active sex life if their lover takes the lead. It can take a lot longer to get things going, but don’t fret! Showing and telling your wife how turned on you are by her is a surefire way to ignite her flame.

5. The Entitled Type

Hopefully neither you nor your wife fall into this category. This kind of lover doesn’t really believe they have any responsibility to pleasure their partner, or believes their skills are better than they truly are, and so feels as if they are entitled to receive pleasure but don’t actually give any back. This type of lover holds and resonates loving sexual energy, but never replicates or reciprocates it. In short, the entitled libido is selfish, ignorant or both. It’s time to do something different, right?

6. The Addictive Type

This kind of person tends to get sex-obsessed. It is an absolutely necessary component of their day-to-day lives, often to the detriment of other areas, including relationships. Addictive lovers are prone to cheating and may have a difficult time maintaining relationships if they cannot overcome their emotional dependence on sexual pleasure. Discovering their true sexual and emotional potential will help them recover from addiction and learn to enjoy a healthy, regular sex life without feeling desperate.

7. The Stressed Type

A stressed out lover is no fun for anyone, so if this describes you or your wife, some immediate change is necessary! This kind of libido is going to be very low, because sex is an uncomfortable event filled with anxiety. Pressure to perform and worries of inadequacy make true intimacy nearly impossible. This person needs to do some real soul searching and work towards coming to accept their body and having their body accepted by others.

8. The Disinterested Type

Sometimes the result of past sexual distress, sometimes the product of a very low libido, some men and women are just not very interested in sex and orgasm. This, of course, does not mean they don’t enjoy intimate touch! Some women do not enjoy the thrusting of a penis inside them, but instead find great pleasure in oral sex, mutual masturbation and the skillful manual manipulation of a coochie connoisseur, and don’t mind reciprocating for an eager lover.

9. The Detached Type

A detached lover doesn’t necessarily dislike sex, but rather tends to forget about it when it is on the back burner. Even if they feel sexual, they may tend to spend a few minutes with masturbation rather than initiate sex, because of the time it would take away from the things currently occupying their mind. With this kind of partner, it can be important to make dates.

Take time away from the TV, the computer, Addictive lovers are prone to cheating and may have a difficult time maintaining relationships if they cannot overcome their emotional dependence on sexual pleasure. the kids and the kitchen; turn off the cell phones and lock the doors (or better yet, go somewhere special away from it all!) and get your minds focused on each other.

10. The Compulsive Type

Folks with fetishes and problems with chronic masturbation tend to fall in this category, where sex is only really enjoyable if they are able to follow a specific ritual. This need is often psychosomatic and can easily be adapted to work in a relationship.

Most women who are only able to achieve orgasm through one specific act or movement can learn to achieve orgasm in other ways if the sensation is altered over time – in other words, if you spend enough time fingering her while she uses her vibrator, she can probably learn to orgasm just from your hands, without the use of the vibrator!

Help! My Libido Is Higher Than My Man’s!

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Libido can be a drawback for any relationship. When your libido doesn’t match up with your guy’s it’s best not to the problem fester. It’s a growing phenomena that women are wanting and asking for more sex these days. Sometimes, a woman might want it a lot more than her man. Women are making the first moves and sometimes their partners are saying no. What’s a girl to do?

What She Said:

Chat With Your Man

First thing to do is have a chat with your man. We women are emotional and if our guy is turning us down, we take it personally. We think he is cheating, or doesn’t find us attractive. But before you jump to conclusions, you should see if maybe your guy is stressed, or over worked, or maybe he has money issues on his mind, or career problems.

All these outside forces can affect his libido and have nothing to do with you! Instead of holding a grudge, talk to him.  See if something else is on his mind and explain to him your needs. If he is not in the mood, tell him that you aren’t looking for a hot sex marathon, but a little hanky panky would be fun.

Masturbate For Him

Even some cuddling can be amazing; women want to feel closeness with their guy, that doesn’t always-necessary mean sex. If it is the big O that you are looking for and your guy is not in the mood, why not let him watch you please yourself? Who knows, the visual might be all he needs to revive him and have him give you a hand, or penis.

What He Said:

Make An Effort To Turn Him On

Of course women want it more than men, they don’t have to do anything. All you women have to do is lay there and pretend it’s not happening, which you’ve been practicing for centuries. Then he rolls off you and he buys you something. It’s a good deal. There’s no pressure.

A guy has to perform. Literally. And double standards and unreasonable expectations used to be things that society only heaped on women. It was a kinder, simpler time, when men where men and women were the ones slitting their wrists if they couldn’t fit into their skinny jeans or if their man was banging someone else.

Now men have to deal with that stuff too. How messed up is that? What’s worse, now that women have their own money, they have their own power, now their acting just like men expecting more and more of their partners.

Don’t Put Too Much Pressure On Him To Perform

Yes, porn, cock rings, Viagra and all that jazz are great, but maybe make sure he isn’t feeling burdened or pressured. Maybe he can’t fuck all night long. Maybe he only does it in between commercials. Maybe he feels insecure about his penis size, or how long he lasts, how hard he gets or whatever.

Let him know it’s all good, and you’re not expecting anything other than the good loving he is known to deliver. If there’s pressure or stress on his mind, do what you can to alleviate it. A lot of it is out of your hands, to be sure, but whatever you can do to lighten things up, the better.

Taking the pressure off is huge, but so is turning the heat up. Take him to a strip club. Get each of you a lap dance. Take him to a yoga class and dress super sexy. Go to the beach, spend time at pool or hot tub. If you can afford a weekend getaway, do it. That alone can be huge in getting the boom boom back in the bedroom.

Sometimes the act of physically being in a new place makes the mind feel like it’s physically separated from the problems that a person’s going through, despite the fact that they are in their own head.

Let him know quickies are all good, buy some Kama Sutra books or porn, but be advised that it may take a bit of effort to get the sex life ramped up how you like and one partner may still have a stronger libido than the other, but hopefully, if you’re patient and persistent, you’ll be having sex on a more regular basis.