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Lube – The Lowdown On Why You Need It And What To Get

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Lube is essential for sex to be really great – no matter what you might have heard before. Here’s what to get and why.

Why Lube?

Sexual lubricants add a lot to the lovemaking process. Depending on their function, timing, and use, they can help a woman achieve orgasm faster, make sex feel better, and alleviate uncomfortable aftereffects (like chafing or burning). Sure, your own spit works just fine it’s free, always available, and works. But it only works for a short time, and sometimes you want a lubricant that will last a bit longer, taste somewhat different, or serve another function that will heighten the sexual pleasure for both of you.

Factors That Decrease Lubrication

There are some factors that will add or decrease from a woman’s natural lubricant, such as:

  • Age: Plays an important part of the lubrication process. As a woman gets older, she stops producing as much natural lubrication because of hormonal fluctuations.
  • Having Kids: It’s common for a woman to have extra moisture when she’s pregnant, and less when she’s breastfeeding. Blame it on the hormones again.
  • Drugs: A large number of drugs (both prescribed and otherwise) play with a woman’s wetness. Any medication that warns of dry mouth, antidepressants, cold medicines and alcohol all contribute to lower lubrication.
  • Stress and Travel: Stress reduces anyone’s sexy feelings, but travel could go either way. Some folks use traveling as a way to relax and enjoy some space away from home, but those who travel for work, for instance, may see it as a chore or necessity. Some women who fly a lot have even coined a term called ‘lube lag’, where they find their natural lubrication severely reduced because of their lengthy travel times.
  • Condoms and Dental Dams: Even though lubricated themselves, condoms have a tendency to dry a woman out, so make sure to have extra lubricant on hand when playing with either.
  • Menstrual Cycle: It goes without saying that during a woman’s cycle, the amount of lubrication available to her is going to differ. However, you’ll notice that, for some women, the middle of the month (around ovulation) is when she’ll be the wettest, only secondary to when she’s actually menstruating.
  • Extended Sex Sessions: If you’ve ever had a marathon oral sex session, you’ll be nodding your head as you read this. Not only will you feel raw and dry after about 30 minutes of stimulation, but she’ll be walking a bit funny the next day because of the lack of wetness.

Different Types Of Lube

There are different types of lube to look out for when going shopping. Look for these:

  • Water Based: Most lubricants on the market today are water based, such as the infamous KY Jelly. This type of lubricant is most people’s favorite because it doesn’t stain and can be used anywhere on the body even ingested in small amounts so there’s little worry when going down on a woman. Having said that, even the best water-based lubricants dry out with extended use, and some folks have developed allergies to them.
  • Oil Based: Oil based lubes are fantastic for anal play, because they last forever and warm to the touch. They are also lovely for body massage. The only caveats with oil-based lubricants is that they make things so slippery that condoms and dental dams can slide right off, as well as if you’re using latex based products, the oil in the lube will break the latex down.
  • Petroleum Based: These lubes, such as Vaseline or baby oil, are also great for anal play, but they will degrade condoms or dental dams and can potentially cause infections in a woman’s vagina so most people avoid these lubricants.
  • Silicone Based: It isn’t as easy to find silicone lubricants as the others, although most sex shops do carry them. They have a silky, soft feel to them and last longer than all of the other types other than oil-based. They are safe to use on all parts of the body and will not stain. However, make sure to test silicone lubricants before using them internally, as more than a few people have allergies.

Whichever lubricants you decide on with your partner, just remember to not squirt it directly on your partner. Instead, put the lubricant in your hands, rub them together a bit, and warm it before putting it wherever it is you’d like to get slippery.

Dirty Talk Fundamentals – Know These & Become A Master Of Sex!

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Dirty talk can spice up your sex life and make it hotter than ever before. These dirty talk secrets will turn you into a SEX god!

Your Mindset

To get into the proper mindset for dirty talk, imagine studying and learning a new language. The first time you tried to wrap your head around say, Spanish, it probably felt like you would never master the skill and in the beginning, this may also feel as awkward.

Try to practice saying a phrase or two that you really find stimulating. Find some examples and make them your own. You don’t want it to feel forced. Once you begin to use some of these techniques, you will build on your intimacy with the rapport between you and your partner and it will begin to flow and become natural for you to speak to each other this way.

The Trust Factor

Real dirty talk is ideally for the married, committed couple and honestly, it is not intended for casual hookups. Its use is for a committed relationship and for the long haul. You may be asking yourself WHY?? It’s the trust factor. It takes a very trusting partnership to be able to lay yourself, so bare and so intimately, on the line with another person. You are exposing your innermost thoughts, sexual fantasies and desires. If you did this with everyone you dated, it would lose its value and worth. Throwing around words or phrase examples you learn is not all that it takes to create a long lasting relationship. It is a tool to build on the sexual intimacy you have already started together and to in turn, make it stronger.

Comfort Level

Back to the “trust” level, it’s important that you both agree that you institute a “STOP” word when the level has gotten too dirty or to signal that one of you is becoming uncomfortable with the situation. Pick one! NOW!!! Make it something fun!! Your stop word can be as simple as “Bridle” – as in to “rein in your horse” – or just a sweet, quick, “Honey, hush.”

“Sponge Bob” is a great word to use if, say, one of you hears the kids up and moving around and you need your partner to know they might hear you or to let them know to turn their vocal volume way down low. Your comfort level will likely change and grow over time as you experiment with each other and find out what works, what doesn’t and expand on your vocabulary.

What’s Offensive And What’s Not

Understand up front, that some words you try may be found to be offensive by your partner. Then again, you may be surprised at the types of words that get your partner turned on. IF there are words that your partner finds offensive, kick it to the curb, and find another word to take its place. Some women may find it offensive to be called a whore, slut or cock-sucker in the bedroom, while others may even encourage it.

Play With Your Location

Dirty talk is fun and gives an added dimension to your regular lovemaking, if your in-laws are visiting and sleeping in the next room or your child is having a slumber party, he or she may not feel like being as verbal. Be flexible!!

Oral Sex – How To Make Showering Beforehand SEXY!

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Oral sex is incredible for you and your lover – she loves when you go down on her because not only does it feel great, but you’re also focusing solely on her sexual pleasure. You love bringing out her wild side and give her a leg shaking orgasm, but she but it’s much better if she’s clean and trimmed first. Here’s how you can make sure she’s fresh in a sexy way.

Although all women and their partners are different, there are a few things that you can both do to make oral sex more pleasurable for both the man and the woman. Some men prefer a woman’s vulva to have no hair and others prefer a bush – both are fine and we’ll go into more detail about pubic hair later in the book. But we can almost guarantee that everyone appreciates a good shower!

She’ll Probably Smell Fine

If you haven’t figured it out already, women are very sensitive about the natural smell of their vagina. This obsession probably started around the time that women as fifth graders were made to watch the “Mom, I don’t feel so fresh” video when learning about their coming menstrual cycles. Fortunately for you, most women who know they’re going to experience oral sex will make sure they are very clean first. You will probably not have to introduce the subject at all – it will most likely already be taken care of, out of the fear that her natural scent doesn’t smell all that great.

Women Do Have A Natural Smell

Of course, under normal circumstances, her down-there smell is usually just fine. Most women’s sensitivity and self-consciousness about her natural smell is largely unfounded. Some women, of course, have a stronger scent than others and if you’re new to oral sex, you may need to take some time to adjust to her natural scent. After some time after both you and your partner are more comfortable, she may not even need to shower first at all. This is entirely a personal choice. However, especially in the beginning, a shower first will ultimately make both you and her more comfortable and receptive to cunnilingus.

If A Bath Before Sex Is Necessary

There may be a time or two in which you don’t feel comfortable with her natural scent at that moment and wish your partner to shower first. She may be comfortable not showering. In this case, it is best that you approach the subject of showering delicately so as not to offend her. A suggestion for a shower for two (or sex in the shower) will almost always do the trick!

Keep in mind that you don’t want to ask outright, so you may want to say something like, “I would love to wash your hair in the shower to help you relax” or “Massaging my soapy hands into your breasts would really help turn me on…would you like to shower with me?” More than likely, your partner will happily oblige. You can even help turn her on and get her yearning for your mouth on her clitoris by erotically stroking it with a soapy hand. Get creative!

How To Keep Sex With A Co-Worker A Secret

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Sex with someone you work with can be a lot of fun, but you definitely want to keep it under wraps. Whether you’re just having a casual fling with someone from another department or are actually involved in a more serious relationship with them, it may not be the best idea to have the details of your sex escapades made known to your entire workplace. Here’s how to make sure your sex life doesn’t get outed.

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Is Sex With Someone You Work With A Good Idea?

Again, this is something you need to think about before you get into it, whether you’re looking at casual sex or a steady relationship. Although this kind of sex can be super hot, it’s also best to examine the situation beforehand and think with your head – not your penis.

What kind of rules does your workplace have about relationships between the employees? Is it simply something the company frowns upon or are there serious repercussions if you ever got found out? If the latter is the case, sex with someone you are employed with really may not be the best option for you. Some other things you want to think about are whether the person is married or not (that will really complicate things) and if you could withstand losing your job if you got busted. Really think it through first!

Keeping It On The Downlow

If you do decide to go ahead and have sex with someone you work with (in or out of an actual relationship), you’ve got to make sure that the sex stays on the downlow. Here’s how to make sure your secret stays a secret:

  • Don’t let the sex affect your attitude at work. Don’t walk into work looking like you just got laid, while your fellow employee does just the same. Pretty soon, people will put the puzzle pieces together. Just go to work like you normally do and act the way you normally do.
  • Be incredibly discreet. Put their phone number in your phone under another name.
  • Don’t allow the work relationship you have with this person to change at all – people can sense this. Treat them the way you normally would at work (as though nothing were going on between the two of you personally) and make sure the romance and sex is limited to only after you punch the clock. Work hours are not the time for flirting or sexual innuendo!
  • Never refer to sex at the workplace, and never talk about what you’re going to do later, where you’re going to meet up, etc. Make sure those conversations stay under wraps.

Is There Anything Really Wrong With Sex With Someone You Work With?

All disclaimers aside, no. If two people are legally of age to have sex and consensually do so, there’s really nothing wrong with it at all. So if you do decide to take the plunge and date a co-worker, have fun with it! Don’t be sorry or feel guilty about it if you and your partner have both agreed to make things stay professional at work.

Relationships that have started between employees are not at all uncommon – in fact, it makes total sense that since you’re at work all day almost every day, that you’ll meet someone you find interesting and want to get to know better (or have sex with). If you really like this person or feel a strong sexual attraction to them, there’s no reason to be completely closed off to the idea – because with the right attitude, you can have a lot of fun and you may just meet someone you fall in love with! You just have to make sure you go about it in an adult way and cover all your bases first.

Some Important Things To Remember

  • Absolutely no affection, fondling, flirting or anything else while you are at work. This rule CANNOT be broken if you don’t want to get caught and possibly lose your job.
  • If you’re going to date around the office, make sure you don’t date everyone in the office. You don’t want to get a reputation for being that guy.
  • Be open to a long term relationship. It may start out as an office fling, but it could easily move into something more. The thing that is unique about office relationships is that you spend so much time with the person at work that you really get to know them. So take your time with it and let it go wherever it goes!

Foreplay Mistakes That Will KILL Your Sex Life (And How To Fix Them!)

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Foreplay is an essential part of sex and if you make any of these blunders, you could really do damage to your sex life! Here’s what NOT to do!

Many men slip up during an intimate foreplay with their women. These are three common mistakes that men make when initiating this prelude to sex.

Problem #1 – Foregoing The Kiss

You should prolong the kiss instead! It doesn’t have to be the usual lip-locking. Women actually enjoy it when their men give tender kisses, long strokes of the tongue, and loving bites on their neck and shoulders.

Problem #2 – Paying Most Of Your Attention To The Breasts

Women are uncomfortable when men pay too much attention to their bosoms. Of course, women love it when their partners do incredible things with their breasts. But, they still prefer that their partners adore EVERY detail on their bodies.

Problem #3 – Hurrying Through Foreplay

This is a big no-no. Always remember that foreplay should be done in the smoothest and most comfortable manner possible. Women love it when their men spend time in exploring every sensitive hot spots on the female body. At times, women are the ones who dictate when their men should proceed. However, there are moments when women allow their men to follow their own plans when pleasuring them. But you should not advance towards her inner thigh if she is not yet fully prepared for it. It can be quite unpleasant for women when they are not totally in the mood for the actual sexual intercourse.

What else can you do to give her phenomenal foreplay – one that will set her up for a powerful series of orgasms later? Well, the following tips will come in handy for you!

Tip #1 – Take Pleasure In What You’re Doing

You must be having fun during foreplay in order to become the best in what you are doing. Women can actually tell when their partners are not in the mood for sex even with the bits of action during the prelude. A man’s satisfaction in the sexual overture is a big factor in turning on a woman. Yes, it all begins in the mind! So make sure that you have the appropriate outlook when it comes to the foreplay and the main act.

Tip #2 – Open Communication

If you do not know what to do, then just ASK her. For example, ask if she wants kisses or those titillating nibbles on her skin and if she prefers gentle fondling to wild grasps. In return, be sure that you are ready to give her anything that she asks of you!

Tip #3 – Dirty Talking

Most guys do not know how effective dirty talking can be during foreplay. You may not know this but women CAN get highly aroused even with just words, especially those that depict what you plan to do to them in bed. Aside from dirty talking, try speaking to her of your unadulterated appreciation of her whole being, her beauty, and your contentment on having her all to yourself!

Tip #4 – Be Smooth!

Wait for her to tell you that she is ready to move forward. Let the whole act blend smoothly into sexual intercourse. Do not skip the “appetizer” and head straight for the “main course.” Always be gracious during the prelude to intercourse!

Let foreplay lead both of you into amazing sex. Don’t skimp on it. Apply the above tips and spice things up in your bedroom tonight!