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How To Give Him A Handjob That Will Trump All Handjobs

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Handjobs are like snowflakes, no two are alike. But how do you give a really, really special handjob? You know, the kind: the ones that are hot, sexy, and stand the test of time. Truly earth shattering and amazing handjobs. We have your tips and tricks to best handle the dicks.

What “She Said” About Giving A Great Handjob

Monkey See. Monkey Do.

There is something so magical about handjobs! Maybe its the remembrance of prom dances of the past or the thrill of discovering yourself.

But giving a good hand job is an art form that any woman should do her best to master. The key to giving him a hand job that will trump all hand jobs is to cater it to what he likes and of course lube!

The best way to cater to what he likes is to pay attention to what he does when he plays with himself. If you have not gotten to the level of masturbating in front of each other, have no fear! You can ask him while making out how he likes to pleasure himself (maybe don’t use those exact words though). A simple”show me” or “i think it’s so hot to watch you play with yourself”. Then as he starts jerking off, pay attention! Watch his grip, speed and pace. Then when you feel like you can take over, grab hold of his cock and let him sit back and relax.

Another way to give him a handjob that will trump all handjobs is remember to be gentle!

Yes it’s called jerking off but pay attention to what he likes. Listen to his moans! You can also straight up and ask him if he likes what you are doing, if he wants you to switch it up or change your pace. And while you are so close to his ear, you might as well let out some moans of your own and let him know how much you enjoy pleasuring him.

Maintain Eye Contact

Once you have him in hand, keep maintaining eye contact with him. This can intensify things for him and be super hot. Of course you do not want to stare at him the whole time, mix it up! Make out with him kiss his neck and chest.

Lube It Up

Another way to give him a handjob that will trump all handjobs is lube! Lube is the best invention since the hand job was invented. And I am not talking about regular lotion here. I mean really good, slick, moist, wet lube! Lube that has only one purpose and it is for sex and handjobs.

You can find lube everywhere from sex shops to target! KY has some great lube if you are shy, or specific sex store sell lubes for different appetites if you are daring. Regardless, once you have the lube use it! Let it slide all over your hands as you wrap them around his member. I guarantee he will be in paradise.

Enthusiasm

And lastly, the number one thing that will make you the best at giving him a hand job is your enthusiasm! BE excited to get him off and tell him how much you like it and of course let him know he is a god with a penis like you have never laid hands on!

What “He Said” About Giving A Great Handjob

Focus

The most important key to giving a great handjob is focus. You need to care about nothing else on earth except giving the best handjob on record. You need to do it like the fate of the world depends on it. You need to work that cock like it’s the first time you’ve ever had your hands on it, and that you’re finally getting your hands on it after a long, long wait.

Patience And Variety

The other thing is patience, you need to make him ride the wave of pleasure with your handjob. Give it to him fast, then slow, get him on the verge of coming, then back off, vary speeds from kind of fast to super slow to really fast to you know.=

Eye Contact Is Key

Keep eye contact while giving the handjob at all costs. You don’t need to do anything with your eyes except devour him. He needs to feel wanted. You have to have him, and you love worshipping his cock. You are the goddess who is the center of his universe and you love worshipping at the altar of his member. That dick is your key to heaven and you’re going to make sure you get there.

That shit is hot. So is spitting on it. But that’s another story, a porn story…

What You Need To Find Out On The First Date

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The first date is a critical time to find out certain things about the guy you’re with to determine whether you want to keep dating him or not.

You’ve got yourself a hot date with a new potential romantic partner. You’re all excited, and you’re really looking forward to it, but now what? What do you need to find out on the first date?

What She Said About The First Date:

The only thing you need to find out is:

  1. Does he worship Satan?
  2. Is he married?
  3. Does he have a warrant out for his arrest?

Other then those 3 topics, you should not be worried about finding things out about a guy on a first date, all the details will fall into place. There should not be questions you think you should ask or a mental check list of what you hope he will say. First dates are all about having fun and getting to know someone!

If it is super important for you to find certain things out about him before you even consider continuing on the first date let a lone having a second date then here are some general things that you should find out.

Is He A Good Kisser?

Ok, so maybe you will have to wait till the end of the date to find this out, but a lot can be discovered in the way he kisses you. Starting with who makes the first move to kiss. Does he very nervously try to lean in? Does he grab you and push you gently up against a wall? Does he peck you on the cheek like you’re his sister? Then you need to find out how he kisses you and how you two kiss together. Is it sloppy? Pokey tongue? No tongue? Do you guys find your groove? The best kisses are the ones where the two people are able to adapt to each other and sort of let their tongues dances. If he is a good kisser first time around, imagine how good he will be in bed!

Is He Nice To Waiters/Waitresses?

This is pretty self explanatory. If he is a dick to others when he is trying to impress you, he’s going to someday be a dick to you. I am not saying that he needs to overly tip or make a big deal but seeing how he treats people that are basically working for you, is a huge insight to how he treats people on a day to day basis. This could also go the other way, is he is flirting with the waitress or gives her his number then this guy is a jerk.

Does He Listen To You?

First dates are all about getting to know the other person and also about trying to impress them. There is a fine line between listening to the other person and preparing something great to say. If he is so in his head that he is worried about what he will say next that he doesn’t even hear what you are saying then this guy blows.

Did You End The Date Still Hungry?

Not hungry for food, hungry for more of him! And not sexual, I mean hungry to learn more about him, to spend more time with him. Oh, ok and maybe a little naked mattress dancing. But if you ended the date and found that you wanted more, that is awesome!

These 4 points that I talked about are pretty general but I hope you get the idea. You could spend the date wondering if he is the one and building up your expectations but then you are just going to be disappointed. Instead, have fun and get to know the guy. Listen to your heart and your gut. If you feel a spark then plan a second date or invite him up for a cup of sex…err…coffee.

What He Said About The First Date:

The main thing you want to find out on a first date is whether or not you want a second one. It’s really that simple. How do you do that? The first test is simple chemistry. When you look in their eyes, do you feel a tingling in your naughty places? That’s most important. If you don’t look at them and think it would be fun to get naked with them, why bother with the rest?

This brings you to the second thing you need to consider on your first date. My rule of thumb is if you don’t want to be around them when their clothes are on, then you shouldn’t take their clothes off. No one is saying you need to be face to face with your soulmate before you do it, but you should at least like them and run a little background check in your mind. I don’t mean an actual background check, but simply run them up against your list of “must haves” and “deal breakers.” If they pass this check, then see if they have any of your “nice to haves.” If they do, score!

I also say no first date should last longer than an hour, ideally 30 minutes. Why? Because you’re going to know whether or not you want a second date, almost right away. If you don’t want to see them again, why drag it out?

The Right Way To Break Up With Someone

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A break up isn’t fun for either partner, but sometimes it’s just necessary. Here’s how to break up with someone the right way & minimize hurt feelings.

What She Said About The Right Way To Break Up:

Breaking up is never easy but if you want to do it the “right” way you need to be completely honest with the other person. This honesty needs to happen face to face also. So don’t be the ass who broke up with someone via text or email. I don’t care if the relationship was short lived, be respectful and end it like an adult. If you are done with the relationship then you need to save both of you time and pain and end it. Sort of like ripping off a band aid, don’t draw it out.

When you draw it out by asking for space or time to think you are just making things worse and you know you want to end it but are just trying to be nice. You have to end it and be done with it all the while you need to give the person your reasoning for ending it. Don’t leave them questioning what they could or should have done different or make them question your reasons for ending it. Be honest about why you are breaking up. It might not be easy and it might hurt, but it’s a hell of a lot easier to tell the truth then leave them hanging with no clear reason of the break up. It hurts when you hurt someone you care about but in the long run it would hurt even more if you lied to them just to protect their ego.

Long Term Relationships

If you are ending a long term relationship, be prepared for a lot more hurt and be prepared to have solid reasons why you are instigating the break up. Do not give them the line “It’s not you, its me” because it’s them, everyone knows it’s them. After you do break up, you need to have the courtesy to return their stuff, anything that belongs to them that they left at your place.

Then rid your self of things that remind you of them. I am not a follower of feng shui but it makes sense that personal items can illicit emotions and holding on to their items might bring negative energy into your life. So go ahead and throw away their tooth brush and any other mementos that serve no purpose.

When it comes to social media like Facebook, it might be best to “hide” them from your feed and do not overly boast about your newly singleness. You can easily hide your own relationship status from your feed without having to declare that you are single. Also, cut off your communication with them and do not text or call. Your ex will need time to heal from the break up, to cry, to be sad, to be mad, etc. and since you are the cause of these emotions, you can no longer be a shoulder to cry on.

Short Term Relationships

If you are ending a short term relationship you still need to give your ex the same respect, but you don’t need to be so dramatic about it. Yes give them a reason why you are breaking up, but honestly you don’t need to worry too much about hurting them. You should still not make a big deal about the breakup on Facebook. If it was a short term relationship, you shouldn’t worry about taking new pics with other guys or being out and loving being single.

You might even want to consider defriending the person if you two don’t have many ties (e.g. similar friends). It can still be messy but just take into account their feelings and try not to destroy them. On that note, do not even mention being “just friends” that may come in time but if you just broke the heart of a person who cared for you, you need to distance yourself and do it fast.

The main idea here is whether you were in a long term or short term relationship, if you have fallen out of love, met someone else or no longer love your partner the same way that you used to and want to end it, then end it. Put your foot down and break up. This is for your sake and for their sake too.

What He Said About The Right Way To Break Up:

Think of it as what it is: you’re firing someone. HR doesn’t give you a long drawn out emotional speech. They state the reasons, quickly and simply. It’s the bullet points they give you, not the in depth explanation. You don’t need it anyway, you already know what’s going on. They hand you your last check and then escort you out of the building. It’s not painless, it’s just as painless as possible.

That’s the way your break up should be. If you have their stuff, hand it to them when you break up, or just mail it back. Tell them simply and efficiently why it’s over. Then walk away or end the call. Less is more. The whole process should take no longer than five minutes. It may seem harsh, but it’s not. You’re just being professional about it and no one is really going to want this drawn out anyway.

How To Tell Him You’ve Been Faking Your Orgasm

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An orgasm is something many women fake, but you definitely have to come clean if you want to actually have a decent sex life. Here’s how to tell him.

No guy wants to know that you’ve been faking your orgasm, but you have been and you’ve decided you want to tell him the truth: he’s not doing it for you. This is a delicate conversation to say the least. How do you do it? How can you tell him you’ve been faking your orgasm?

What She Said About Your Fake Orgasm:

Why have you been faking? I don’t understand women that think its ok to pretend that something is working for them so in turn, their guy will continue to do it thinking that is what works! It would be so much easier to just let him know you didn’t come but he could do so-and-so and that might help! If you have been with a guy for a while and you have been faking it you are kinda screwed.

If you tell him now you are going to shatter his little perfect sex world and take away all his glory! It’s like giving him the Olympic gold and then taking it back because you lied about the scoring. Or giving him a puppy then running it over. OK, that was extreme but guys really take pride in getting their women off which is why it is never good to fake it. When you fake it you are just denying yourself pleasure and setting your guy up to continue to fail you.

Let’s say you are not in the mood for sex or too tired etc, there is nothing wrong with telling your man that you didn’t come but had a great time getting him off. Or telling him that you really loved all the foreplay but for one reason or another, tonight was not your night. If you honestly do not resent the fact that he didn’t get you off then reassure him that he can get you next time. If you are left with”Pink Balls” (female blue balls) then you might need to take matters into your own hands, or take his head into your lap. But, what ever you do, don’t fake it.

Alas, if you have been faking it and you feel you must tell him, do not do it when you two are having sex or right after you had sex. So how do you bring it up? Well, a great trick is to use media! So, wait until something like a TV show or magazine article mentions it and then you can casually say “Sometimes (not all the time, even if it is all the time never say all the time!!!) when we are having sex i don’t come and in order to help you finish i fake my orgasm”. There, honest and quick. But be prepared for him to care and even be a bit bothered that you have been faking. You need to reassure that he is still the man, so let him know the reasons why you have been faking.

Some of these reasons could be:

  1. You love what he does to you, it makes you feel so good but sometimes it gets so intense you fake it.
  2. You could say that you like how he feels inside you and don’t always need to come.
  3. You were so tired but love all the foreplay and all you really needed was a little bit of loving. Anything around those lines should be helpful as he tries to pick his deflated ego.

Also, please know you do deserve to come every single time you have sex, so don’t think that it’s all about him! Do not play the “I didn’t need to come” card all the time. So now that you have confessed you two need to get on figuring out what he can do, or what you can do or what a battery operated friend can do to get you there. If you are ballsy enough to admit that you have been faking then you are ballsy enough to bring a vibrator to bed.

What He Said About Your Fake Orgasm:

This conversation isn’t going to be easy, and it’s probably going to hurt him. Men are all about the idea of doing the job well, and they take pride in it. If you’ve been faking it, you’ve been telling him that he has been doing it right and that’s not true. Now you’re going to pull the rug out from under him and he’s going to land on his ass.

In addition to the pain in his ass, will be the pain in his chest. You’ll break his heart. I don’t know if you should come out and say it, but if you have to, say “I always enjoy sex with you, but I don’t always achieve orgasm. Let’s work on that together. Here are the following things I’d like to try.” Telling him straight up that your faking your orgasm isn’t pleasant, so be sure to have other options ready and let him know you enjoy having sex with him and want to continue to do so.

Also, if you do have orgasm with him from say oral sex or anal sex or by hand and not intercourse, let him know and maybe suggest toy use, but that’s another column left for another time.

Foreplay Moves That Guys Love

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Foreplay isn’t just for girls – guys actually enjoy foreplay before the action too. Check out these steamy moves guaranteed to make him hot.

First things first, foreplay was not invented for men. Most men are just in it for the benefit of women. Bless those men! Still, some men don’t give a crap about women. Of course, those men are jerks. If we are going to focus on foreplay moves based solely on pleasing men then all you need to know is that men are all about their penis.

Men are wired to go from 0-100 in sixty seconds. So any sort of “special moves” you think you need to learn or “erogenous zones” you think you need to touch are pretty much moot. I’m not saying women should forgo foreplay on a man all together, lets not get lazy here ladies, I’m just saying that the foreplay can all be penis focused.

What She Said About Foreplay Moves:

Focus On His Penis During Foreplay

That’s it. Men do not need long make out sessions, neck kissing or back massages. Once a guy is aroused, the only thing he is thinking about is how long it will take you to stop fussing with him and get your hands on his penis. So get a hold of that python and get comfortable.

Praise His Penis

Once you have laid eyes on his penis, tell him how big, huge, gigantic, large, superior it is. Any adjective that makes his penis sound like the biggest one you have ever seen. You can even say “That is the biggest one I have ever seen.” If you are not into talking, then gasps of surprise and arousal are always a wonderful move that guys dig. Once you have spent a few seconds admiring, its time to move on to the next foreplay move.

Work His Penis

You’ve seen it, you’ve commented on it and you’ve “oohed” and “ahhed.” Now you just have to touch it. So stroke it, caress it, give him a handjob. Keep an eye on your man and see what sort of pressure he likes and how he likes his penis to be pleased.

Put His Penis In Your Mouth

Just like stroking his penis with your hand, do it with your mouth. Although you have more opportunities with your mouth, saliva is a wonderful tool and your tongue is the strongest muscle in the body. Use your spit, use your tongue! Kiss his most prized possession, lick every where. Pretend its an ice cream cone or sucker and start giving that man a blowjob.

There you go. Four easy steps and in all honestly, most likely he was aroused and ready to go before you even got to step one. Foreplay for men doesn’t have to be an all day affair. They can get hit by a gust of wind and be aroused. I am not saying all men are solely about their penis for foreplay, but lets face it, that is where they want to be touched, licked and praised. So you can save yourself a lot of time and energy by focusing your foreplay on his best friend. Even after these tips, I’m pretty sure you could have probably just leaned over and whispered “Lets have sex.” That comment alone would have been all the foreplay you needed to do.

What He Said About Foreplay Moves:

There’s this notion that foreplay is for women. Men love foreplay too. Why? Cause we’re tired of doing all the damn work. We have to jump through all these hoops to get your number, to get you to go out with us, to get you into bed, and then you just take your clothes off and expect us to instantly begin dispensing the multiple orgasms. Really?

Why can’t men enjoy foreplay?

Just massage him. Give him a good one and get him relaxed. Work out the knots. You might think this is in his best interest, but really it’s in yours. The more relaxed and tension free he is, the longer it will last and the better it will be. He’ll be all zen like and won’t be focused on racing to the finish line, rather, he’ll be overjoyed with how good he and it feels and his pleasure will be enhanced, and then he’ll hit it like a rock star.