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You are here: Home / Archives for Sex & Intimacy

Sex Tips & Advice

10 Blowjob Mistakes You DON’T Want To Make!

By loveandsex

A blowjob can be incredible pleasure for a man – sometimes, it can be even better than traditional intercourse. But you don’t want it to turn into an epic fail and even if you think you know it all when it comes to oral sex, you could still probably use to learn a few things. Just follow these simple blow job “do nots” and he’ll be wild with passion instead of cringing in discomfort!

1. Using Your Teeth

Using your teeth is probably the worst blowjob faux pas you could make. This always hurts and never, ever feels good. Even under the “right” circumstances. There’s no way to make your teeth an acceptable oral sex tool, so tuck those pearly whites under your lips for a smooth ride down his shaft.

2. Not Acting Excited Enough

Have you ever gotten oral sex from a guy who was less than thrilled to be down there? Was he silent, or even worse, begrudging? Did he act like it was a chore, or even act like impassive? It probably wasn’t very good then. Guess what? The same applies to oral sex for him. He wants you to be excited about giving him head. He wants you to love fellatio as much – or nearly as much – as he does. Bonus points for you if you love it MORE than he does! So don a smile, tell him how much you love sucking him off and act as though you’d rather not be anywhere else.

3. Sucking Too Hard At First

Sucking is awesome, but if you do it too hard at first – before he’s fully warmed up – can have the same effect as him rubbing your clitoris with a dry finger when you’re not turned on. It hurts! Suck gently until you’re sure he’s absolutely aroused and begging for more. Gradually build your way up to sucking harder, gauging his reactions the whole way. Use his body language as your cues to keep doing what you’re doing, suck harder or go softer.

4. Gagging (Or Worse, Vomiting)

If you can’t deep throat, that’s okay. But if you can’t, don’t try – at least, don’t try on him. Gagging really isn’t attractive, and vomiting on him is even worse. If you want to learn how to deep throat, practice on a peeled banana to learn how to control your gag reflex. Don’t try it on your man unless you’re absolutely sure you won’t gag – and if you’re not entirely sure of that, be certain you won’t at least vomit.

5. Doing It Too Soft

You know not to suck too hard when giving a blowjob, but did you also know that having too soft a mouth is equally as frustrating for a man? You don’t want to give head like a pansy, do you? Feel free to start out with soft licking and sucking at first to get him erect and turned on, but that phase shouldn’t last much longer past the initial erection phase. Get busy, girl!

6. Not Discussing Semen First

He probably wants you to swallow. He may want to ejaculate all over your breasts. You may not desire either of those things, but if you don’t discuss it first, you may end up with semen in your mouth and he may get offended at your spitting it out immediately and dousing your mouth with any liquid you can find within reach. So discuss where the semen is going to go before you start giving head. Surely you and your partner can find a compromise.

7. Not Keeping It Wet Enough

You’d think it’s impossible to have a dry blowjob, but it is. Of course things are always going to be damp (that is the nature of oral sex, after all) but it feels much better if it’s really, really wet. So don’t suck all your saliva back in. If you don’t have enough saliva, use flavored lube. Either way, make sure there’s plenty of moisture to keep things going smoothly (wet n’ nasty is preferred, however).

8. Not Using Your Hand

During masturbation, he usually will stroke his shaft and may play with his balls. So leaving these parts unattended can leave your guy feeling pretty neglected. If you can’t bring your mouth all the way down to the base of his shaft, try using your hand instead. Using your hand on the shaft of his penis and his scrotum while sucking on the head can multiply how much pleasure you give him by quite a bit.

9. Keeping Just The Head In Your Mouth

Although you definitely don’t want to shove his penis so far down your throat that you gag or vomit, you also don’t want to stay focus solely on the head. You want to at least go partway down his shaft with your mouth, if you can’t get it down all the way. If you can’t, again, use your hand to stimulate the base of his penis while your mouth works on the head and upper part of the shaft.

10. Playing With His Anus If He’s Not Okay With It

Some guys like anal stimulation during a blowjob while others really, really don’t. And there are usually no grey areas here, so if you aren’t sure where he stands on anal play, definitely skip it. The last thing you want to do is shove a lubed finger up his ass without his prior consent and ruining the blowjob – and possibly your relationship. If you want to experiment with his anus while giving him head, make sure you talk about it first and get the green light from him.

Filed Under: Oral Sex Tagged With: blowjob, fellatio, oral sex, orgasm

The 9 Types Of Orgasms – And How To Give Them!

By shawnalenee

Orgasms for a man are EASY to understand. You simply thrust, get aroused, finish, and go to sleep. Most men can only have one type of climax – after which they usually lose their erection temporarily before they can get hard and have another.

Women however, can have MANY different kinds!

These range from those that are barely noticeable to her man, to SCREAMING, TOE-CURLING, even bed soaking squirting orgasms (Woo!) There are also many different ones in between those extremes! Unlike men, the TYPE of climax a woman has is often 100% CONTROLLABLE by her sexual partner (you)!

One of the first steps to giving your girl the strongest orgasms of her life is RECOGNIZING that YOU have control over them.

Lucky you!

You should never blame your girl for not coming. Always be honest with yourself, and ask yourself if you are really sexually satisfying her. Let’s talk about some of the kinds of climaxes women are capable of having.

Foreplay Orgasms

These take place during foreplay (or “pre-penetration.”)

Foreplay orgasms are so important, because they allow your lover to “warm up” and have multiple orgasms later when you penetrate her. Every GREAT lover should have the following in his playbook:

Nipple Climax

Not all women can have a climax through nipple stimulation alone, but since a personally know a few who can, so I had to put it in here to make the article complete!

Clitoral Orgasm

This climax concentrates on the clitoris. Not as intense as the deep spot and other vaginal orgasms but still a great warm up and relatively easy to do.

“Deep Spot” Climax

The “deep spot” climax is often the first time many woman have a true “internal” orgasm, as it’s usually easier for a woman to have one of these than it is for her to have one during sex.

“G-Spot” Climax

The g-spot climax is similar to the deep spot but not quite as intense. Still a great orgasm to have in the bag of tricks to get her “primed” for multiples during sex.

Now let’s talk about some of the orgasms women are capable of having during PENETRATION:

Penetration Orgasms

Vaginal Orgasm

Normal climax while you are inside of her, much like the “deep spot” orgasm. Usually more intense than any foreplay orgasm but for some woman very difficult to achieve. Far easier to achieve AFTER a foreplay orgasm.

Anal Climax

This occurs when you have a clitoral or vaginal orgasm during anal sex. It feels very different to a girl than a clitoral or vaginal orgasm alone.

Multiple Orgasms

Multiple orgasms are when your lover has an orgasm and you give her another (or many) orgasms right after. This is different than the continuous orgasm which is described next.

Continuous Orgasm

This is when your girl has an orgasm but instead of letting her sexual excitement come down (as many women think they have to because they are sensitive) you INSTEAD keep going and often even harder. This causes her to start climaxing UNCONTROLLABLY and over and over. With a continuous climax she will often be EXHAUSTED after and will always say she had not idea how many orgasms she had. 99% of women need to be verbally talked through a continuous climax as it is rare that previous lovers have EVER done this to her. She also has no way to do this herself through masturbation. If you make your girl have one of these, she just might become sexually addicted to you, so only do this with a girl you REALLY like!

Squirting Orgasm

Ah, the mysterious one! Well first of all I will tell you, squirting orgasms are VERY REAL and every woman has the “equipment” to have one! Let’s just say they’re a lot of fun!

So there you have it. Being a girl does have SOME advantages!

Filed Under: Orgasm Tagged With: clitoris, female ejaculation, female orgasm, foreplay, g spot, have better sex, multiple orgasms, orgasm, sex tips, squirting

What To Do When HE Is Lazy In Bed!

By loveandsex

Sex tips can often help you get out of a rut, especially when you’re putting more effort in than your lover. Many times in a relationship, the sex gets boring because one or both partners get comfortable and start doing the same thing over and over. If you want a super hot sex life, you have to bring variety to the table! Use these sex tips to get him trying new things!

Normal Sexual Progression In A Relationship

Often, sex can get pretty lame when you’re in a relationship – especially if your relationship is long term and you and your partner are monogamous. Many times what will happen in situations like these is that one or both partners start getting comfortable with the relationship and the sex, and don’t bother to use their imagination to come up with new things. It often happens to guys because once they figure out the “secret formula” to getting their girl to reach orgasm, they stick with it! They don’t want to go trying different strokes, techniques or sex positions because they found what works. If it’s not broken, why fix it, right?

This is not at all uncommon, however, that doesn’t make it any less frustrating. Girls don’t always want “A + B + C = Orgasm” sex. They want passion and variety! They want to experiment. A girl can spice things up in the bedroom but she’s got to have a game plan first.

Stop Bitching

One of the biggest reasons guys get less interested in making sex adventurous over time is because their partners get more and more comfortable griping about this and that. Women often do this because as the “warm fuzzies” begin to wear off as the relationship gets older, annoying habits start becoming more and more apparent. Most of the time, they’re not make-or-break-the-relationship types of things – but as a girl gets more comfortable with her guy, she will often want to “fix” him. She’ll think that by telling him what she doesn’t like that he’ll stop and start doing things her way.

You may think your nagging is letting him know that you don’t like a certain behavior, but all it’s really doing is killing his sex drive. He doesn’t see it as you gently guiding him in the right direction – he sees it as nagging, bitching, griping, etc. He’ll still leave his dirty underwear on the floor but he won’t bother taking yours off and throwing them down next to his.

Make An Effort To Be Sexy

While he probably thinks you’re cute in your flannel pajamas, if that’s all you’re wearing, he’s going to start seeing you as non-sexual and just wonderfully cuddly. While this can be an advantage on those cold days when you just don’t feel like doing anything but snuggling up in your man’s arms, if this is all you’re getting, you’re going to wonder what happened to make your guy not want to have sex with you as much anymore, or just not care about trying new things.

The truth is, he wants BOTH sides of you. Sweet, cuddly and wearing flannels without makeup. But other times, he wants to be reminded that he’s with an incredible sex vixen who will ride him all night long! So make a point to wear lingerie to bed sometimes. And heels. When you look sexy, you feel sexy. When you feel sexy, you look sexy. Don’t forget that confidence is truly the sexiest thing you can wear. Rock it like a bombshell and he’ll be on fire!

Don’t Underestimate Sex Games

A fantasy box is an incredibly fun, non-threatening way to introduce your lover to new things and ideas when it comes giving him sex tips and letting him know what you want in bed. This can be as simple or as elaborate as you and your partner want it to be. You can indulge your crafty side and make a fun fantasy box, or use something you have around the house. The more you put into this fun sex game, the more you get out of it. That is, unless you have some damn good imagination. If you do though, it won’t matter one bit if all you have is bar napkins and a Styrofoam cup.

With the “fantasy box” sex game, you and your partner each get to write a secret fantasy that you’d like to try out. Write a few down, three from each of you is a fun number to start with. What you actually write down can range from tame to super kinky, but agree on how hot you’re going to get before you start – you can always start small and up the ante later. It will be pretty awkward if you write down “Spank my ass hard and call me your whore while having sex doggy style” and his says “french kiss for 10 minutes.”  Consider thinking of different “levels” of how hot you want it to be, and decide on a “level” before you start writing down your ideas.

Throw your slips of paper in the box, mix them up and take turns fishing them out. You will, of course, have much more fun trying them out! This is often all that is needed to rev up a “vanilla” guy – simply because they don’t see the fantasy box as a threat to their ego/manhood/pride like they would if you outright told him what he was doing wrong and gave him sex tips.

Reward Him

Men are awesome like puppies – loving, playful and in need of praise when they do something right. When your man does something especially hot that you’re totally into, make some noise! Do NOT let the opportunity slip away – if he doesn’t hear anything, he’s going to assume he’s done something you don’t like and move on to the next ideas or sex tips. So if you don’t let him know when he does something spot on, you’re really screwing yourself because he’ll never learn what you like!

Let him know how much it turns you on when he does something good. Also, reward him by doing something he really enjoys – like giving him an amazing blowjob. This doesn’t apply only to sex either. You can mix and match. Reward him for a sweet gesture like filling up your car with gas by giving him road head. Or taking him on an impromptu shopping spree at the manly store of his choice. Either way, so long as you reward him for anything he does that pleases you. Because when you do, he’ll want to do it again!

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: have better sex, lingerie, Relationship Advice, sex games, sex tips

5 Things Women Want In A Penis

By loveandsex

Penis size is something men are often worried about, but girls look for other traits too. When she sees you naked, she’s not necessarily just looking at how big it is. She’s also looking at how well it can give her an orgasm! Here are five traits that work best with her anatomy.

It Doesn’t Have To Be That Big

A woman’s g-spot is actually only about 2 inches into her vagina – therefore, the myth that men have to have a huge penis to give a woman an orgasm is just that – a myth. A penis can be satisfying to a woman and cause g-spot orgasms if it’s over 3″ long, however, the average penis size is about 5 inches. So in reality, most men are able to satisfy a woman with the equipment they’ve got.

A Prominent “Ridge”

Many girls will favor a prominent ridge where the head meets the shaft. If you follow this ridge around to the underside, you will see it curve upwards into an upside down “V.” When the shaft is erect, this ridge can get very swollen and when it is prominent, it will “catch” on the g-spot and stimulate it during sex. The ridge is much more prominent in circumcised men than uncircumcised men, because the foreskin that covers the head has been removed.

A Wide Head

Again, the head is where it’s at for a woman. This is what will stimulate her g-spot during sex and give her incredible orgasms. Although her g-spot isn’t very big, the wider the head of your penis is, the more it will rub up against it and stimulate it.

A Thick Shaft

The outside of the vagina, at the opening, is also a very sensitive area. You may have seen the rabbit style vibrators with the rotating beads – those are designed to massage and stimulate those sensitive nerves at the vaginal opening. If your penis is very thin, you’re not going to be able to rub up against the walls of her vagina very well. However, if you have a thicker shaft, you will automatically be causing friction and stimulating those hot spots.

If your penis is thin, it’s not the end of the world. Your sexual technique can compensate for it. Simply thrust your penis in a circular motion during sex instead of the straight in-and-out. It may take some practice to get this technique down pat, but it is well worth it. When doing using this technique, you’re going to rub up against every side of her vaginal walls, right where those pleasure spots are.

Slight Upward Curve

The g-spot is located on the top wall of the vagina, on the stomach side – not the butt side. So if your penis has a slight upward curve, it’s simply going to hit the g-spot even better. If your penis goes straight out, that’s not bad either. If your penis curves downward, you may want to experiment with different sex positions to find a way to stimulate her g-spot with your penis.

Doggy style is actually an excellent sex position to try if you want to stimulate her g-spot but your penis curves downwards. Some men have a penis that curves slightly to the left or right – this usually does not affect a woman sexually, unless you are long enough to stimulate her AFE Zone, which is much farther back than the g-spot.

Confidence (And Sexual Skill) Makes A Difference

No matter what your penis looks like, a girl isn’t going to get off with a weak, wimpy guy unless she has a dominant personality and that’s really her thing. Most women want to have sex with a guy that is confident in bed, confident about his body and confident that he can please a woman sexually. She doesn’t always want him asking permission to do everything. A girl wants to get down and dirty with an alpha male – no matter what his junk looks like.

Learn to work with what you’ve got. Study the female anatomy and learn where all the hot spots are. Learn different sex positions to use that help your anatomy mesh well with a woman’s. If you just don’t think you have a penis that will please a woman, brush up on your oral sex skills. Learn to give a woman squirting orgasms through oral sex and fingering and it’s almost guaranteed that she’s not going to care about your penis size, shape or color at all.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: big penis, confidence, g spot, penis size, sex tips, small penis

5 Mistakes You Don’t Want To Make When Giving Your First Blowjob

By loveandsex

Your first blowjob should be great – not a disaster. A lot of women make mistakes when it comes to giving their guy head, and most of the time, little issues will be overlooked because it feels so good. However, if you screw it up big time, he won’t want it from you again! Here’s what you want to avoid when giving a first blowjob.

Using Your Teeth

It may seem like a good idea to graze your guy’s shaft lightly with your teeth or giving the head of his penis a little nibble (you like your clitoris nibbled every once in awhile, so why wouldn’t he?), but really, it’s not. Teeth can hurt and unless your man is a super masochist and enjoys cock and ball torture, letting him feel your pearly whites during fellatio is going to turn him off before you even know what happened.

Avoid using your teeth during your first blowjob by wrapping your lips tightly over them. Make sure your lips are well lubricated, either by your saliva or a good flavored lube. If your lips are dry, they won’t slide well over the shaft of your partner’s penis.

Sucking Too Hard

Lots of girls think that the harder they suck during fellatio, the more pleasurable it will be for a man. While a little bit of sucking, and even firm sucking if he’s close to orgasm is a good thing, if you do it too hard, you’re going to do much more harm than good. It may actually feel too sensitive or be painful for you to suck on his penis very hard, and it will turn him off when you do.

In this case, light sucking and licking is going to be sufficient here. Start out with light licking to tease him and get him warmed up (guys need foreplay too), and then progress to moderate sucking as he gets more and more turned on. Don’t cross the threshold though and do it too hard or too furiously.

Not Listening To His Cues

It’s crucial to listen to a man’s cues during fellatio. His body language will tell you if you’re on the right track or not. A man will thrust his pelvis towards your face, grab your hair or head and vocalize their pleasure when it’s feeling really good. If you’re not getting these results, change what you’re doing – you’re either hurting him or just not doing enough.

Also, don’t assume that if he likes something at first, that he’s going to like it the entire time you’re giving him head. Your technique should vary throughout the duration (seriously, who wants boring fellatio from a one trick pony?) and increase in intensity as he gets closer and closer to orgasm. His non-verbal cues will vary – he may start out gasping for breath and bucking furiously when you start a certain technique, but he may soon relax and get comfortable with it. In which case, you need to move on to a different technique ASAP.

Seeming Bored With It

Enthusiasm is 50% of a great first blowjob. Don’t ruin great fellatio by acting like you really would rather be doing something else. When guys fantasize about getting head, they often fantasize about whoever is doing it being really excited to do it. If you act bored with the act or don’t seem like you’re into it at all, he’s going to pick up on it immediately.

Some guys don’t vocalize their pleasure during oral sex, making it difficult for a woman to feel into it. Encourage him to show you that he’s enjoying it so you can get off on his pleasure too.

Choosing The Wrong Oral Sex Positions

There’s nothing more awkward than a woman trying to get into an oral sex position that bends a man’s penis a strange way. She may think that she’s being adventurous or exciting by doing it this way, but it really just takes away from his pleasure. Make your first blowjob all about your technique and pick a simple, tried and true oral sex position that you know will work.

Try giving him oral sex while he’s standing and you’re kneeling. Place a pillow underneath your knees so you stay comfortable. You can also have him lie on the bed with you cuddled up in between his legs. This allows you a little less control and makes it difficult for him to watch you, but you can prop his head up with pillows to give him a great view.

Filed Under: Oral Sex Tagged With: blowjob, body language, fellatio, oral sex, oral sex positions, orgasm, sex tips

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