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You are here: Home / Archives for Sex & Intimacy

Sex Tips & Advice

2 Easy Ways To Control Your Orgasm!

By lloydlester

Premature ejaculation is one of the most embarrassing problems that can happen in the bedroom. It can sneak up on you when you become extremely aroused, and any slight movement or extra friction on the penis can bring you to the point of no return. Very often, ejaculation occurs within one minute of sexual intercourse, and this ill-timed event can frustrate both you and your partner.

But the simple truth is also that PE can be permanently reversed. Any man can learn how to re-train his ejaculatory reflexes and keep an impending climax at bay until he or his partner is ready for it. Here are two simple tips that will add minutes to sex and amp up your lovemaking.

1. Learn The Sensations That Precede An Orgasm

Unlike women, men are far more easily aroused during sex. Thus to control your ejaculation, you first have to learn to recognize the sensations that come immediately before an orgasm, as well as associate the sensations while you are climbing up the arousal curve. This will help you become aware of the amount of stimulation your penis can take before you come to a climax. Such “cognitive feedback” will enable you to modulate your actions and movements during sex so that you will stay clear of the “point of no return” until you are ready.

2. Establish Physical Control To Delay The Orgasm

Start things SLOWLY. Adopt a gradual, sensuous build-up to sex. Unlike men, women take FAR longer to warm up to your advances, so take your time to arouse her mind and body first. She will love your undivided attention… plus, it also helps buy you more time in bed!

Pay close attention to the things that cause you an early ejaculation. For instance, if a certain sex positions speeds up your climax, switch things up when you feel your arousal climbing. (Hint: for most men, the missionary position is the culprit of quick-fire sex). Do you get aroused too fast during foreplay? If so, ask your partner to avoid making excessive contact with your genitals.

Try adopting a different thrusting method during intercourse. Instead of penetrating deeply, alternate between shallow and deep penetrations. This helps you in two ways. Shallow penetrations, coupled with gyrating hip movements, will give your woman greater clitoral stimulation and gets her aroused faster. On the other hand, deeper thrusts create less friction on your penis glans and helps you last longer!

Remember, premature ejaculation is NOT permanent. By understanding your own sexual arousal patterns and making simple changes to the way you have sex, PE will soon become a long-forgotten past!

Filed Under: Erectile Dysfunction / Last Longer In Bed Tagged With: have better sex, last longer in bed, male ejaculation, premature ejaculation, sex tips

How Foreplay Affects A Woman’s Sexual Arousal

By loveandsex

Foreplay is the very first step in sexual arousal. How do you do that? Tease your girl into an orgasmic oblivion! There are a whole host of things that happen during the “foreplay” phase, all of which propel her further towards explosion. Here are some things to look for during that process, as well as what to do to get her moving smoothly along the path to orgasm.

What Happens To A Woman’s Body During Sex

As soon as your partner starts thinking about sex, her body begins to change. The hormone oxytocin overloads the brain in a rushing flood. This same hormone makes women want to cuddle after sex, and motivates them to bond with their newborn babies after breastfeeding. She gets ’emotionally stoned’ on this hormone according to author Theresa Crenshaw, and she needs more and more of it to flow through her circulatory system in order to orgasm.

As the blood starts pumping harder and faster throughout the body, the skin around her face, chest, back and inner thighs will start to flush, turning a deep pink or red. Some folks call this the ‘glow’ of arousal, although really it is more of a glow signalling readiness for an increase in stimulation than an indication of her proximity to climax. More blood gets diverted to her pelvic region as well with similar effects. The labia will turn dark purple instead of a mere flush. The closer she gets to orgasm, the darker the hue.

Why Teasing Makes Her Body React Better

Wherever she gets flushed, she’ll also become more sensitive, as there’s more blood flow to the nerve endings around her body. Nibbling her ears when she’s excited for example has a different reaction than when her body is unprepared. Her breasts and nipples get larger as she moves through the foreplay phase of arousal, and may take on a defined pinkish color as well. Playing with her breasts and nipples during this state increases the amount of oxytocin in her blood as well. In some women this is so prominent that she’ll be able to orgasm from this stimulation alone.

Vaginal lubrication begins during this phase as well, from two tiny ducts that line the opening of her vagina called Bartholin’s Glands. The lubrication helps both moisturize and prepare the vagina for penetration, not to mention getting the clitoris ready for full-on play.

How To Tell When She’s Ready For Sex

The best ways to figure out if she’s moved from the foreplay stage to a point where she’s getting ready to work toward climaxing is to look at her clitoral head. Keep a close look when she is not aroused; her clitoral head won’t be visible to the naked eye, difficult to find during fingering, or downright impossible to locate.

When she’s aroused, the clitoral head peeks out from underneath the protective hood, essentially saying, “I’m here and ready to come out and play!” Before her clitoral head peeks out she’ll prefer light, indirect touches, like light circles around the head, but not directly on it. Pressure along the front commissure is also pleasurable to help arouse her more. Once the clitoris emerges from its hidden place, you’re free to press with firm pressure and venture right for the nub of pleasure.

Filed Under: Foreplay Tagged With: clitoris, female orgasm, fingering, foreplay, orgasm

Why Foreplay And Preparation Before Anal Sex Is Essential

By kendallashley

Anal sex can be one of the kinkiest experiences for any couple to take. However, it can also be one of the messiest if not handled properly. Preparing for this kind of sex is a key ingredient to having a great time. If you have ever had a bad experience with anal sex then you know just how wrong everything can go. Being prepared for every aspect of the action will leave little room for surprises. Here is a prep guide to help you out.

Change The Sheets Beforehand

Darker sheets are recommended for this kind of sex sex. Lighter sheets are more likely to show stains. When you change out the sheets for a darker set, you are less likely to see any stains that might occur during the act. Choose blue, black or a dark green for best results. Sex has a way of getting passionate quickly and the last thing that you want is for her to look down and see a stain while in mid thrust. Change the sheets before you get started to add to the spontaneity and the aesthetics of the occasion.

Consider Using An Enema First

Using an enema first is a necessity for most couples. There are a lot of couples that do not do this, but most will. Depending on your partner’s diet and regular bowel movements, she will need to use an enema herself beforehand in order to remove the majority of fecal matter from her anal cavity. Some women even think that this feels good. Make sure that she is not over-rinsing her anus. This can lead to dryness inside her and cause micro-abrasions during sex. These micro-abrasions can lead to the passing of STD’s or bacterial infections.

Engage In Plenty Of Foreplay

Foreplay is essential for anal sex. Make sure that you’re not just shoving your penis into her anus before she’s ready. Start out with normal foreplay. Kiss her, suck on her breasts and give her oral before you even think about doing anything to her anally. Use your own spit on your finger and then ease it into her anus. This will get her muscles prepared for your penis. Make sure that she is relaxed during foreplay. It’s best to use a sex toy on her anus before you use your penis. Using a small vibrator or a dildo on her will allow her to relax the muscles and get accustomed to the size.

Use Lots Of Lube

The anus does not produce it’s own lubricant. This is much different than the vagina. In order to make your anal sex more pleasurable and less painful, you need to use a lot of lube. Get a bottle specifically for anal sex and apply it to your anus. Using lube on a sex toy before you enter her with your penis is the best way to get her accommodated to the size that will be inside her. This will also apply the lube to her anal cavity.

Use Condoms, Even If You’re Monogamous

Always, always, always use a condom for anal. There are two reasons for this. First of all, a condom is going to have less resistance inside her. It will react with the lube to make the experience much more enjoyable for her. Secondly, a condom will cut down on the chance of spreading diseases and bacteria. Even if you are in a committed relationship, the spread of bacteria can easily be transferred from her anus to your penis. More than likely, you’re going to want to penetrate her vagina during your session. Instead of having to wipe off your penis with a disinfectant, you can simply take the condom off.

Clean Your Sex Toys Well

After you have had anal sex, it’s imperative that you clean all of the toys that were used anally. The toys can house diseases and bacteria, so keeping the toys clean is essential to keeping you and your partner safe during anal sex. A lot of porn stars recommend running your dildos and vibrators through the dishwasher to kill off any bacteria. This will not work on some materials like Cyberskin. Glass and silicone dildos and vibrators can go through a dishwasher without incident. You can also buy cleaner to disinfect your toys afterward, however, antibacterial soaps work just as well.

Anal sex is a great way to keep you and your partner on your toes sexually. But you must stay safe and comfortable throughout. Anal sex is fun, but it requires a little preparation. Don’t be caught off guard. Stains and smells can easily ruin the session and anal sex for life. Following these guidelines will help you get through the anal experience with grace and poise.

Filed Under: Anal Sex Tagged With: anal sex, anal-penetration, first-time-anal-sex, foreplay, lube, personal lubricants, sex tips, Sex Toys

Clitoris 101 – What It Is, Why You Need To Touch It & How To Do It!

By loveandsex

The clitoris. This is the GRAND MOMMY of them all, the main moan zone. If you want to score, and score big, this is where you go.

Women have penises too, we call theirs the clitoris. It’s a small bump or button a few inches above the vaginal opening. And if you examine it very closely, you’ll see that it does look like a very small penis. And true to that nature, it can engorge with blood and go erect. It also has a tiny shaft which feels like a thin bony cord.

Why The Clitoris Exists

The clitoris exists for one good reason – to give PLEASURE. Although size doesn’t give it justice, which is why some guys have a hard time finding it, its role is nothing to sneeze at. The concentration of nerve endings at the pleasure bud is tremendous, to say the least. Easily by the thousands, it is one of the most heavily innervated part of a woman. It packs in one very tiny area nerves similar in number to that of the penis!

Why are nerves important, you ask?

Because they connect to the brain. Stimulating the clitoris sends bliss impulses that rock her brain silly. The CAVEAT, however, is that the same nerves that make it sensitive to pleasure, also make it sensitive to pain. So you gotta take it easy.

How Big Is It?

4 inches!

Not many people know this, but the clit is more than just a button or a bump, much of it is not visually accessible. What people refer to as the “clit” is just the head of the clitoris – like the head of your penis. When we say that it looks like a knob, this is what we’re talking about. Unseen is the organ branching into 2 forks, extending down and passing along the vaginal opening and terminating near the anus.

Inside, a woman’s clitoral system really looks like a thick wishbone. But for our purposes here, we will talk about what you see the outside.

How Do You Find It?

Your landmark will be the inner-smaller lips, or labia. The inner lips are very easy to spot, they look like petals or misshapen tongues and are usually darker than the rest of the vulva. Do an upward trace of the lips. You will notice that both left and right lips converge at the top. The clitoris sits on top where both lips converge.

The clitoris is sheathed inside a hood of skin, similar to the foreskin your doctor may have removed when you were circumcised. Sometimes, you really have to push back the blanketing hood to unveil the knob. Be wary of doing this though, because if she’s not sufficiently aroused, this can hurt!

At times, when she’s really hot, the knob will retract under the hood and won’t be visually accessible. This isn’t bad news – it does this on its own when she’s excited and nearing orgasm.

Why Is The Clitoris Important?

ORGASMS. Ring any bells? Any bells at all?

Orgasms are a woman’s best friend as they are these waves of contractions that bring intense pleasure. They are 21 birthdays, Graduation, Wedding & Driver’s License rolled into one – fleeting slices of heaven that transform even the most prim & proper of ladies into cussing savages.

The clitoris is the main organ that serves her these orgasms, it’s little wonder why millions of research dollars and entire lives have been spent studying it. Compared to the g spot, for example, the clit is the more consistent server of climax. In fact, many women orgasm only via clitoral stimulation. You can thrust like hell for hours, use all types of lube, but as long as the clitoris isn’t in on the action, a woman won’t budge.

Before you get flushed with excitement and channel all sexual energy on her pleasure bud, consider this – the clit may look like a button, but it doesn’t function like one. Do not make the mistake of immediately feeling for it and expect a girl to shoot up the horny-meter. Not so.

Use Indirect Stimulation

How is indirect stimulation possible?

Reviewing how the vulva is configured, you’ll see that the clitoris sits on top of the inner labia. During intercourse, a thrusting penis tugs on these lips – which consequently tugs on the clitoris. In short, intercourse stimulates the clitoris indirectly.

The problem for women is that this indirect stimulation is grossly insufficient to result in climax. Although there are women who cum by penetration alone, most women don’t. Your penis just going in and out of her vagina just won’t do the job. You have to give direct clitoral stimulation while thrusting.

How do you do this?

Do THE GRIND.

The key here is pelvic & hip movement that provides both pressure and friction. Not the inside friction between penis and vaginal walls, but the friction caused by pressing and rubbing your pubic bone on her clitoris.

Because of the clit’s location, forward-backward thrusting won’t avail much, but by sensually grinding your bush area, you let the pleasure bud in on the action. Actually, your pubic bone has a better chance of delivering her orgasms than your jimmy, it can give DIRECT clitoral provocation.

So when you penetrate, don’t pull-out immediately, keep your member inside. In this position, you can directly stimulate her clit by rubbing your pube against it. Grind in circular and “8” motions. (Be sensitive when she guides you by placing her hands on your buttocks, or when she synchronizes with your movements.)

The grind creates a huge, HUGE difference in your woman’s orgasm potential. It’s more effective than bouncy moves because it stimulates the same area women excite during masturbation!

Filed Under: Orgasm Tagged With: clitoris, female orgasm, have better sex, orgasm, sex tips

3 Juicy Tips That Will Drive Her Wild In Bed!

By lloydlester

Sex tips are helpful when trying to give a girl an orgasm, but many guys fall short of this. Check out these three strategies to make her insane with pleasure!

There is a difference between having good sex and enjoying amazing sex. Good sex is one that gives you that pleasurable feeling of being erotically fulfilled. Amazing sex, on the other hand, involves more intense lovemaking and evokes tantalizing moments of hot passion that is truly unforgettable.

It is clear which kind of sex men and women would love to have. If you want to ignite sizzling fireworks in her, there are a few simple tips that will bring a whole new level of excitement into lovemaking that both you and her will truly enjoy and savor. Try these for good measure!

Discover Her Body Before Sex

Lovemaking will soon become a humdrum affair if you let things stay the way it is today. But you can bring her to the heights of sexual ecstasy even without engaging in any sexual intercourse. In fact, it is better that you enjoy each others’ bodies without penetration. The key lies in bringing your imagination to the forefront and getting a little naughty and provocative, if you will.

Bring on some “erotic aids” to the bedroom – chocolate body paint, blindfolds, feathers, massage oils, handcuffs etc. Use these to discover and explore her body and bring her to a suspended state of ecstasy though playful teasing. Many couples reported that they had the most sensational sex just through this journey of erotic discovery!

The “Fantasy Box”

Every woman has her own ideas and fantasies about the perfect sex – one that she is probably too shy to bring it out into the open. To keep her on the erotic edge all the time, ask her to write down her fantasies on one of those small post-it pads. Drop them into a small box and tug it away in your bedroom. Every now and then, when you want to sizzle things up, just dip into the box, retrieve one of these and relive her fantasies on the spot!

Sexy On The Outside Means Sexy On The Inside

Know what is the easiest way to hike up her sexual desires? Make her feel sexy about her body! Many women feel somewhat shy or even conscious about their endowments and body contours. Get into a bubble bath with her and give her some erotic massage on her back.

Buy her some sexy lingerie, put them on for her and compliment the way she looks. The soft silky feel of the lingerie on her skin and the words you speak to her can make her feel a lot sexier and help her loosen her own inhibitions in the sack. Well, when she starts feeling a little naughty, you will be in for some fireworks for the night!

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: have better sex, lingerie, making love, sex tips

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